How do most people feel about kisses ("xxx") in messages? I know everyone has their own comfort level with chat "style", emojis etc, same as everyone has their comfort zone for physical touch, or what feels like standing "too close", or eye contact etc.
For myself I don't tend to use kisses, by which I mean xxx, to people I don't have a personal connection with. Writing a letter or card, I do put them. In chat with family and friends rarely do, unless we're chatting about something difficult or emotional. or, say, I'm thanking them for something that really touched me.
But some people throw xxx around much more freely and I'm fine with that, it's like some people call everyone "darling", I don't take it as personally meaningful.
But from a complete stranger I do find it odd and don't much like it. I've said so sometimes and they've said sorry, and they meant no harm - so that's fine. Intention is everything. One person told me they'd feel they was being unfriendly without it, it felt cold not to add "xx", which gave me a different perspective.
What's prompted this question: I've been chatting with a guy on here for a day or two, just the opening stages of conversation really,. Seems like a nice guy and I was thinking we'll get along. But we're only a few messages in. He does tend to use "xxx" a lot. Not just to end a message but on most sentences. In my last message, I replied to what we were chatting about (cuddling, massage, bring tactile in general, how healthy touch is etc etc) - agreeing with what he'd said about how pleasurable it is - and I ended that reply with "Just saying, I'm not comfortable with all these "xx", we don't know each other at all."
Next I know, he's blocked me.
Was it a harsh way of wording it? Could/should I have put it more gently? How would you say this? If you received that reply would you find it unkind or aggressive, or some other version of negative? Does" Just saying "come across passive aggressive or something like that? (I meant literally just saying because I wasn't annoyed, just letting him know.)
Or do I just conclude that he's unreasonable and I'm well rid of him? Does this tell me he was thinking non-platonic and I made myself easy to rule out as a possibility?
Alternatively, if you're chatting with someone and finding their tone over-familiar, how would you ask them to change that? Some may drop them without trying to tell them, but I tend to the benefit of the doubt and assume they meant no harm, so especially if all else is good, it's worth communicating first - not by the third or fourth time, but at least once.
Curious to get different perspectives.