For me the fact that you were blocked when rejecting the sweet talk stuff is evidence that he was hoping for something out of it
@TheFunCartel yes - men have to understand they're presumed guilty until proven (over time) innocent. Which can be a real surprise for the genuine ones especially those who are less online-savvy. Women more often can be presumed innocent - but men not being used to being ever alert is, IMO, why more men get scammed.
Patriarchy has done all of us a lot of harm 🙁 just different kinds of harm.
@Matt2358 About seeming unfriendly or angry without emojis - this reminds me of a friend who thought I was angry because I'd used an exclamation mark. For me it was just surprise, and probably a "social laugh". For him it was quite different. Also he found it brusque to the point of rudeness when I replied with a 👍 which to me is perfectly normal and friendly.
Ah me, all these subtleties.
@SweetCuddler33 I don't know if it's improved but when I joined, onboarding wasn't sufficient. It all depended on people reading the rules tucked away in the links at the foot of the page, like T&Cs and credits and other small print. Kind of fair enough if someone had arrived here through search terms to do with physical closeness (or just put 'touch' or 'closeness' into a thesaurus) - most people aren't going to spend time reading all the rules when they think they're on "that" kind of website.
Sorry if I've ignored anyone. I'm not finding the chat format easy on my mobile. But thanks for a good discussion!
Before I agree to meet someone , I make it very clear that if they try to cross boundaries/ break the rules I will report them and they will be banned from the site by the moderators.. flirty emojis and pet names such as “ baby”, “honey””sweetie”, “ dear” ,love” ,hon”.. very inappropriate 🤮
@MonkeyNeedsAHug
Seems like there’s a consensus here that if “Mr. XXX” can’t respect your boundaries via chat, you’re better off cuddling a cactus.
Either way, you're dealing with a prick.
Wow! I have never had anyone use xx or 😘 emojis with me, thankfully. I am very conscious of never using any type of heart emojis in my communication. I hate when people use terms of endearment with strangers. That annoys me instantly.
When they ask if I want lotion or oil for the massage the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. 🤢 🚩🚩🚩
LOL @IronLemon
@IronLemon I’m very impressed with that one! 🤣
@MTex I’ve had a few in the past just bring oil with them to the session, “just in case” !!
Affectionate language, talking too much about "pleasure", comments about attractiveness level -especially early on, major red flag there- flirty emojis like 😘😍😏😈 etc. XO, lots of red heart emojis, and pet names like "honey" "sweetie" and definitely "babe", especially when sent early on are all indicators of non platonic interest on here.
While it can be tricky at times to tell for sure if someone is trying to hint at non-platonic interest, it's behavior that makes you go 🤨 or feels off or wrong that always has a tie to non platonic stuff. While some are sneakier about it, the people who genuinely want platonic connections definitely aren't gonna be playing these kinds of games.
When platonic people use affectionate language it feels like encouragement from a supportive friend, comfortable, natural, and safe. 🤘🏻
When I see XXX makes me think of one of 3 things
1) porn
2) straight edge hardcore music scene
3) that terrible movie with Vin Diesel and then Ice Cube
@g_w_t_w Oh, no! As if that's not creepy 😳😟
@MTex Evil thought….I could’ve just poured it on the back of his shirt and started massaging.
@g_w_t_w Right, that will teach him. 😄 I like massage too but I am very clear it will be over clothes & not on bare skin.
Maybe we add no-no words and phrases into our contract pages.
The people that go to a cuddle website initially are IMO like people hungry for nourishment. They're called clients because they pay for this nourishment. We want to have the cuddle the respect and the money. The client may just want the cuddle. (Sounds harsh after I wrote it)
A list of boundary words, updated could help new paying clients. Money inserted into an intimate setting might be misunderstood by newbies. It may make a client put the cuddle value first over the cuddle person and create a muddied exchange.
This could be a very bad person, or a person not ready for the language of cuddle culture yet.
It is after all, the wild west.
The client probably used block punctuation out of fear. Pre-emtive strike.
The good part is, the cuddle lesson got learnt.
@Dance_Culture OR they could just read the Client Agreement Rules and follow them or get reported/banned 😃
@SweetCuddler33 Agreed. I can just see a client sitting up thinking about how wonderful the world is, and then just gets carried away lol
It's therapy for a reason..the world is hurting.
I prefer to err on the side of grown adults knowing what they are doing and being responsible for their own actions. I don't like to sugar coat with excuses and kid gloves.
@g_w_t_w lol 😂 I was thinking something similar like pouring the “ Just in case” oil he brought on his cuddle sweat pants and ending the session . See how he likes being disrespected and feeling disgusted.
[Reported for promoting revenge, reviewed, and leaving intact with a warning that even if this was meant as a joke, it's not appropriate, @SweetCuddler33 . -Sid]
@SweetCuddler33 I've had multiple Pro cuddlers call me hun and love in the past.
"Hello love. I hope you're doing well."
"Hey hun! How have you been?"
Not something I would do. But it's a reminder that weird dudes aren't the only ones using those labels.
Also, xxx = porn 🤦
@muddlemand Because my gender is the same as the gender of an unpleasant person you know... That does NOT mean it's justifiable to use the patriarchy as an excuse to validate your decision to slap a stereotype on half of all humans.
Did you pause to think for a moment that he may just maybe be on the autism spectrum?
And that perhaps this is just how he signs off to almost everyone in casual conversation?
Way for all y'all to constantly assume bad faith about literally each and every man out there
and yes you came off kinda harsh, sorry to break up the little circle twerk [really? -Sid] you guys were having
If a man messaged you with a finger wagging tut tut like that you would be rightfully ticked off
[Reported, reviewed, leaving mostly intact - because you're entitled to your opinion. No where in any thread is "every man" suspect on CC, @Catfursonmyshir . No where. The OP and others have stated their interactions and opinions. Be mindful of your posts, especially if you're going to allude to mob mentality as a circle jerk. Reread the forum rules while in timeout. -Sid]
@Catfursonmyshir
That's a lot of what ifs. I prefer common sense observations over going out of my way to think of why someone does something. The OP has every right to feel uncomfortable and express it.
@Catfursonmyshir I'm autistic. If someone tells me they're not comfortable with something I've been saying, I apologize and make sure not to do it again. I do not just block the person.
"Just saying, I'm not comfortable with all these "xx", we don't know each other at all."
is not at all harsh. It certainly doesn't warrant a block, assuming the person has good intentions. He blocked, so it seems his intentions were not good.
And I have every right to express myself too. Is this not an open dialogue kicked off with a legit question, or are only kiss ass answers that massage the ego allowed
btw nice double standard. You guys have been epitomizing the 'what if' game in this thread from the start
@SweetCuddler33 "See how he likes being disrespected and feeling disgusted."
Um... did you just promote revenge via malicious cuddle session?...
Disgusting the hatred for men in this place.
I bet business is really booming with all the vile comments and hateful assumptions I have seen here towards male enthusiasts/s
in literally dozens of threads I have skimmed since joining. Y'all should be ashamed ffs
Really?