Never Be-Asleep Alone

BedTimesBedTimes
edited August 2025 in General

I've arrived an anthropological notion about myself and all humans: among other adaptations, our species developed to be never-alone. Perhaps the advice for busy modern humans' emotional health would be "Never Be-Asleep Alone".

Today's social structure means to "sleep with someone" = sex, whereas, for our prehistoric-forebears, those 2 activities weren't synonyms. To sleep alone would have been fearful.

I'd like to develop a hypothesis that to "never be-asleep alone" is healthy advice, like "exercise daily".

Then, I'd like to suggest how to achieve that without demanding romance.
With luck, a platform like CuddleComfort.com could be the source for our platonic slumber-human.

That are your thoughts?

Comments

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear

    I like this hypothesis and I like entertaining overnights with someone comfortable.

    There is a caveat.

    It takes time for me to get used to sleeping with someone other than my cat lol. It might not even be nervous energy or anxiety. It can be excitement having to discharge after meeting someone new and exploring our inner universes together.

    So I think to add to your hypothesis: it would be healthy to not sleep alone and be with someone you're used to.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I prefer sleeping alone. Sleeping with someone is great from time to time, but certainly not a preference for every day.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I want to be alone 99% of the time. Very difficult to sleep with someone. This theory may work for some but certainly not for everyone.
    I need alone time to problem-solve, enjoy peace, reset, create, experience what is around me and so much else. I have always dealt with being unable to focus when around others and being around people is often stressful.

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    My girlfriend asked if I would sleep with her sister if we broke up. Apparently, "which sister?" was the wrong answer. Been sleeping alone.

  • HahnMokHahnMok

    I think you are right, but would state it differently in terms of "relatedness": The cuddling feeds the inner-child kind of relatedness and, thus, does satisfy some deep physio-emotional genetic programming where today's doing over being leaves a big hole.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I have to agree with some of the others here. Some people want/need company all the time. Others need alone time to decompress because being social is exhausting. There is no one-size-fits all for humanity.

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    As a person who has recently reclaimed my entire bed for myself, I have very much enjoyed being queen of the mountain. The middle of the bed is awesome. Being a starfish is awesome. Getting to do whatever I want whenever I want in my own space is awesome.

    But I do like sleeping next to someone from time to time and have it not be about sex, with an option to cuddle but also get away from each other (I’ve got a big bed so no worries there).

    But I have to know them pretty well and feel extremely comfortable.

    While we may have evolved to sleep in groups, sleeping is also a vulnerability space. And even way back when, I’m sure a person sleeping with a new group or even a single stranger, would not sleep easy those first few nights.

  • HahnMokHahnMok

    In reference to my initial post: But, of course, in the better sexual relationships, the relatedness still feeds the inner-child's needs for relatedness and enlarges to include more.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    Agree with @pmvines, @g_w_t_w and @WriterGF . I like sleeping alone and not having someone's snoring keeping me awake. I particularly agree with "There is no one-size-fits all for humanity."

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug
    edited August 2025

    For @BlueIris only…

    https://www.facebook.com/reel/1275013264025487/?referral_source=vod_deeplink_unit&surface_type=vod

    Ever hear a koala snore?

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    @MonkeyNeedsAHug - No, but I know that because they only eat eucalyptus leaves and never drink water, they have a very unpleasant, pungent odor.

  • Katelyn_BKatelyn_B

    If I didn't have someone to sleep with, I'd adopt a pack of shelter dogs. Seriously. 🥰 🐾

  • UncleDaveUncleDave

    I prefer to sleep with a partner, but when with a cuddler on an overnight session, I tend to be in active cuddle mode the entire time once the meet and greet period winds down. And although I love that, some partners prefer to sleep after a bit. I also find that I'm drained the following day from sleep deprivation. Damn the bad luck! 🤷 I do like light napping together during an extended session.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I have three cats who will happily sleep with me (well, two, the other one patrols all night). When I had a partner, I just felt like I had to be "on" all the time. Being an introvert, that was stressful.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I would definitely prefer to sleep with a 4 legged bedmate than a 2 legged one. I mis my little dog!

  • JubalJubal

    In general - IN GENERAL (I put that again to avoid outlier arguments) - I do believe that most human beings are hardwired to be able to sleep more soundly and more comfortably if another person is around, especially if at least one of those people is awake as a sentry. Moon-watcher's tribe with the mountain lion comes to mind (bonus points if you get the sci-fi reference there)

    Doesn't have to be sleeping together in the same bed or even in the same room. But being in close proximity to other trusted people is - I believe - more soothing and more comforting and allows most people to sleep better than when alone. Nowadays alot of us substitute our cat or dog in place of "trusted human" and sleep very well.

  • Goonie4lifeGoonie4life

    Gem7.....it was wrong for your girlfriend to bait you with that question

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @gem7

    My girlfriend asked if I would sleep with her sister if we broke up. Apparently, "which sister?" was the wrong answer. Been sleeping alone.

    I’m guessing, “Not again after what happened last time” would have also been a wrong answer although I feel like it is the best answer to such a loaded question.

  • hugsnotbugs98hugsnotbugs98

    One time I was on the phone with someone late at night, and she fell asleep with the phone close to her face. The sound of her breathing was one of the most comforting sounds I've ever heard, it truly made me feel at ease.

  • TheMidnightOwlTheMidnightOwl

    It’s hard for me to sleep with someone present. 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • KatotaKatota

    Sleeping with someone (that doesn't snore LOUDLY 🙉, is okay 👍), however I do enjoy sleeping alone and enjoy my bed space. 😁🛏️

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @Katota Brings to mind something I read once about "the joy of sleeping diagonally." :)

  • Erin_Elle_Erin_Elle_

    I want to be alone 99% of the time. Very difficult to sleep with someone. This theory may work for some but certainly not for everyone. I need alone time to problem-solve, enjoy peace, reset, create, experience what is around me and so much else. I have always dealt with being unable to focus when around others and being around people is often stressful.

    @g_w_t_w I feel the exact same way. 😁

  • BearBear

    I have mostly slept alone. Plus I toss and turn. When I have a guest I’ve been told I reach out to put my hand or fingers in contact with them.

  • BearBear

    @bedtimes

    I googled Human evolution since the dinosaurs

    Since the extinction of dinosaurs 66 million years ago, human ancestors (placental mammals) evolved rapidly, eventually leading to the development of traits like bipedalism, larger brains, and tool use. Over time, physical changes such as smaller jaws and reduced bone density emerged due to factors like cooking food, the use of tools, and a shift from manual labor to less physical tasks. More recently, humans have developed genetic adaptations to specific environments, such as living at high altitudes or being resistant to certain diseases

    I don’t think sleeping alone would be for every human anymore. I also use to follow the Eat Right for your blood type diet. Which is pretty diverse for the 4 basic types. Not to mention macro diets based on the area you come from.

    Humans have changed and adapted in significantly different ways, depending on area, altitude and need to name a few ways.

    Not to mention personal preferences. Which is what most go by.

    Besides up until 1800, the average human lifespan was less then 40 years old. That’s without pollution and pesticides and all organic food.

    Science has changed our lives tremendously, including sleeping. Our physical & mental states are much different and many more different needs then just sleeping thru the night and making sure we have a warm cave to sleep in.

    Hell some people I’ve talked to won’t sleep other then being alone out of distrust or fear from previous “ friends & Family “ that cant be trusted.

  • ohnonotagainohnonotagain

    People have nesting partners but that's a whole layer of interpersonal dynamics I never really understood.

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