then suddenly wants to drop back in months or years later sounds like they're looking for convenience, a favor or otherwise to use me.
@BlueIris Exactly! 😁👍
I hated this occurring even more when I WAS active on dating sites too. 👎😔
One of my cuddle buddies is honestly one of my hands down - favorite people. He’s one of the few people I feel completely safe with and like I do not have to constantly be looking out for his emotional well being. I know that sounds kind of silly but, it’s even paced and mutual which is something I do not encounter often in my genre of touch therapy. It’s just . . . Easy being around him and we know more about one another in such an intimate sense than most of the other people in our lives do. We have seriously talked about anything and everything from the best places to eat in Venice Beach to who our first kiss was and what version of “Layla” sounds the best.
I’ve made some pretty close friends on here that have been a light in the dark or a voice of reason and comfort through my divorce. cough @pmvines cough I have made several friends on the platform in my area that I get to physically spend time with and those are the highlight of my month. It makes some of the nonsense feel a little less like noise and makes me feel like I actually have people in my corner when some of my lifelong personal friends have not risen to the occasion. A couple of my cuddle companions and I text throughout the week and one even noticed my writing pattern change and asked if I was okay. I’ve met a few people on this platform and other platforms that I held some pretty heavy excitement around meeting because it felt like such a good vibe and flow that just flat ghosted. Those used to break off a little piece of my heart until I realized how much I can be for others and my own intensity. I’ve met a few other cuddlers that were in a similar life experience that made us both feel so much less alone in the forward motion. (Not tagging others because I’m not sure how much they would be okay with discussion on our roles in one another’s lives and I want to respect their privacy.)
I’m so thankful for the friendships that have stayed and lasted but I’m also thankful for those that have come and gone. A few clients/cuddle buddies have parted ways when they found a significant other to fill that void and as disappointing as it can be to break up what becomes routine - I have never been happier for someone! I love knowing that they are happy where they are at and that they are in very capable hands.
Not that anyone asked but, there’s my two cents. ❤️
@TheFunCartel well if your friend owns a car showroom, ob you dont expect him or her to give away cars for free, got to be reasonable. I am dentist by profession and never charge for friends and family. I guess it depends from person to person, and how much you value your friends.
My favorite person to cuddle is someone I definitely consider a friend, yes.
@roni56 Are you saying people can only be friends by giving each other free services/stuff?
I prefer to keep my friendships and cuddle clients separate. I don't want to risk complicating the relationship with a cuddle client by blurring the lines between business and friendship. If I needed to vent I'd reach out to my friends. If I needed to cuddle I'd reach out to a pro.
well, tbh, I have a friend irl who has already been like an occasional cuddle buddy. he can't do it more frequently for his own reasons, but I'm pretty frenetic in that I'd definitely do it like 3 or 4 times a week if someone had that availability. he recommended me to this site to find other people .
I've had a few that were ongoing. I met one in Feb, and he's definitely been one of the best people I've met in forever. sometimes my borderline makes it hard for me to engage with people. I feel like I've been experiencing a lot of growth. his personal life is going thru some changes, so I guess I'll find out where I fit in all of that. last fall, one person I met would come for a few days at a time. he was starting to feel like part of my family. but he hasn't been back since just before Thanksgiving. I got him a Christmas gift in case he came back. he's in my discord server, so I assume he doesn't hate me. one of the first 2 people I hosted I talk to sometimes. a few times he's said that experience though was just once had a deep impact that he's appreciated a lot.
I kind of prefer to make friends this way even if it seems unusual. it feels safer.
@gem7 nope
Sorry I dunno why but it wasn't telling me there were replies and I forgot to check. I have been on here a few yrs I think. Chatted to loads of people. Met a few. Got nothing from it. Same on reddit. I struggle to meet people cos I am an introvert and low self esteem. I try chatting to people on here and it is a struggle cos i work so much, work nights, can't host, am exhausted and drained all the time that convos are hard when all i do is work and sleep. But I do not want to cuddle with someone I do not know. I feel like I am stuck in this limbo.
I do have a cuddle buddy, who I have been trying to replace for a few yrs now. We get on really well when we meet up but he gets 'too busy' for months on end. What prompted me to ask the question about being friends was cos my cat died early last month. My cb was on a 'too busy' phase he said till Aug. So I was waiting for him to message me to say we could meet up. But before that I had my loss. I messaged and chatted to him that day about in, infact while I was at the vets. Nothing from him, well he said he was sorry it was happening. No lets have cuddles that will make it better, no sorry we can't meet up but I am still busy. It all just feels really cold. Its weird cos we have had whole 11 hour meet ups. Where we meet in central london, do stuff, then finish the day at his, so really long days. They never feel weird or strained or like its hard work, just feel natural. So In some ways I think we are friends. But then this thing last month after my loss just made me wonder even more. I have been wondering for a while. Cos hes so hot and cold. But the sessions are sooo good and I just can't find a replacement and I am exhausted from trying tbh. I guess this is just a vent really.
I’ll echo many of the posts here. I have been honored with the friendships of many that I have cuddled. Both pros and enthusiasts.
Those friendships range from casual to deeply held respect. Each are cherished and valued for what they are.
I personally hold that friendship is a spectrum and I should let each relationship be or develop into what it can be, not try to force fit it into something else.
They’re a lot more rewarding that way.
And to more directly answer @AmberUK yes, I have called on them when I was in need of their friendship, and they’ve called on me.
@AmberUK I’m also an introvert with low self esteem. And I also have an emotionally taxing job that leaves me kind of exhausted as far as human interaction.
So one of my criteria for messaging in the site is if it feels like I’m doing all the work, if they’re leaving me with a bunch of conversation non starters, then I just stop responding to them. It has taken a lot of the pressure of me and helped make room for the few who are able to meet me where I’m at, engage in a real way, share about themselves and ask me about myself. And I’ve been able to meet some awesome people. Some of them are awesome cuddle buddies, and some of them have/are becoming a new ride or die crew for me.
Those folks are here. And honestly talking in the forums opens up more opportunities. Some of the friends I’ve made on here are not anywhere close to me geographically, and I would never have met them if not for this site.
@mauvefox glad you have found some ppl
I absolutely am friends with the people I’ve cuddled a few times - and thankful for their friendship! Shoutout to my seattle homies!
@lovingspoonfull I love that- “Friendship is a Spectrum” 🌈
Through experience, I’ve learned that life gets easier when we don’t place heavy expectations on others. If our needs aren’t met, simply find them elsewhere.
I don’t have issues with self-esteem, but I am reserved. The demands of my profession and personal life leave little space to build decent connections...
Also, for over a decade, I worked locum—never in one city longer than a few months—
I’m very grateful for those I call friends-
The quick answer is no. I don't have any cuddle buddies or friends
No, I don't think it's possible for cuddle buddies to be friends. I picked up some scars for life from trusting it was, but the truth is cuddling is some kind of pre-romantic connection at best. It's not a forever thing like being BFFs. Cuddle buddies will just cut you off like an unwanted ex.
I have made a handful of friends on CC. Some of which I haven't even cuddled with. And yet they've been so sweet & supportive through what has been the hardest summer of my life. I appreciate their friendship. 🫂
That being said, on the other hand, I have also felt like I was just a warm body that provides cuddles with no personal connection. Even though I work at getting to know everyone I cuddle with personally. A friendship is not always formed. Even with enthusiasts, it can be transactional, albeit not in a monetary way.
@roni56 I don't think a pro on this site is allowed to "suddenly" not charge because someone other than the pro gets a portion of the fee(??)
I’ve become good friends with several repeat cuddle clients of mine and we keep things platonic. I will go out of my way to send them messages for the holidays and random occasions to see how they’re doing. It does make our time more special together when we do meet up again because there is such a genuine, strong connection between us.
No I wouldn't say I'm friends with the pros I cuddle with. Acquaintances at best but not friends in the truest sense of the word.At the end of the day this is after all a transactional relationship.While I have received and returned messages wishing me a happy holiday or hope you're doing well,I just consider that to be friendly.If my cars in the shop I'm not gonna ask them for a ride to work and I know they won't be calling me for one.If there's a medical emergency/death in the family I don't think I'm the first they'll call or vice versa.I could go on but you get my point. I've enjoyed the sessions I've had and the pros I've cuddled with are good people,but I don't pay to hang out with my friends..
Yes I have become friends with pros and we even up the ledger by me paying them for a session and then the next time they pay me. We play a game of tag beforehand so I can’t be accused of being an untagged pro.
I would like to be, and I think one of my best friends would be open to the concept of a cuddle buddy, but it just hasn't come up in conversation yet. As far as being friends with someone from CC, that would be great but I haven't met anyone in person yet 🙃
Yes there are a few that have become like family to me. I value those relationships very much.
Absolutely! I think it would be weird to spend hours talking and cuddling with people and not become friends.
Friendships! Yes I have them here. They all look a little different and the line between friends and not-friends is arbitrary, people have different definitions.
I officiated a wedding for one of my cuddlers (he married my friend).
Another cuddler I attended his wedding but he wanted me to lie to his wife about how we knew each other which I was not cool with. There was this dinner where everyone is supposed to standup and say how they know the bride or groom. SO AWKWARD. He did tell his wife how we really met later (I said I couldn't be in contact otherwise) but we never really got our friendship back.
Those are probably the two people I've been closest with but I freaking adore my clients just most don't integrate into my life that way.
I did caregiving with the elderly from 2009-2021 so I'm used to loving people deeply even though I'm getting paid to be there.
@JustPlaneCuddle When ANYONE posts a thread on the message boards (or any other form of "social" media), yours AND everyone else's opinion I-S being "asked for". I'd say you shouldn't have to worry about it, but lots of people who participate in both places aren't "social". Keep THAT in mind and you should be fine. Your thoughts and opinions matter too- Don't EVER let someone else make you feel like they don't!
I consider several of the pros I meet with to be friends. Hoping we can all do a Disney trip someday
@JustPlaneCuddle Love your post. Also, as someone who has also been “too much” for others at times, my favorite line that I recently adopted… “If I’m too much, then go find less.” 🤷♀️ Be you and be amazing.
@mauvefox I love this: “If I’m too much, then go find less.”
It's interesting to see different perspectives. While some of you lovely people have been rendered as "too much". I'm often on the other side of the spectrum feeling as though I'm not enough. And yet we should all feel like we are just the right amount of ourselves.
I think that is what makes a good friend. When we can be ourselves around them & they accept us for who we are.
I find that I'm always in a rush. I feel like I am hurrying through life for no reason. Even to get ready for a cuddle, I run behind. Cuddling is the only time I feel like I can disconnect from time & be present with another person. I don't feel the rush to get to the finish line. On the contrary, I wish I could stop time & cuddle for infinity. I'm amazed at how quickly time passes while cuddling. It's never enough time!
@MTex Same!!
And isn’t it the great paradox where we feel like not enough and too much at the same time.
I kind of don’t want to cuddle with people who I don’t know and like at least a little. Multiple cuddles just expands on that.
I’m an enthusiast so I’m not charging money. But I guess I do expect time and effort and intention. 🤷♀️