This thread is for comments and suggestions about the Frequently Asked Questions (so as not to clutter that thread).
Any thoughts?
Lock that thread
I haven't looked through every item in the FAQ but do you have anything on choosing a username? It's the first thing people notice about a member. I came across a profile once where the woman described herself as a 'sexual abuse survivor' and I noticed her username started with 'sexy'. My main point about FAQs is hardly anyone reads them. Does this site log statistics on page hits? I'd be curious to learn how many page hits some of the pages have.
Amazing work, @respectful!
You've written a lot so I hope those that have yet to read it understand my feedback below is actually quite minimal.
"Maybe mention that you are only interested in something platonic and non-sexual."
This could give the impression that non-platonic profiles are fairly normal here. So to avoid that I would provide an explanation for the suggestion. For example a sentence that follows saying, "While this is always expected, explicitly stating it might provide some reassurance."
"Do I need a photo?"
I think we should discourage the use of avatars here so my personal preference is to remove the entire question or change the answer. You could instead talk about how you can make your photos private or friends-only which will subsequently add a padlock logo to your placeholder image. This acts as an indication to the prospective cuddler that you are willing to at least provide photos on request.
"Be aware that a "reverse image search" can be used to find photos on the web, so avoid using photos from your social media sites etc. (including cropped ones) unless you don't mind people finding those sites."
This could sound scary to a newbie and put them off joining if they are already lacking confidence. I suggest removing it or replacing it with a mention about the photo privacy feature.
"(such as saying something negative in response to being reported)"
A more common example would be those that leave negative Karma before they have met. We remove those.
"Is professional cuddling actually prostitution?"
I suppose this is a legitimate question but I do feel uneasy about it. I think at the very least it should not be the #1 question in the professional section. Interested to know what other people think about this.
"Why are prices so high"?
This gives the impression we have high prices. We actually have lower prices than elsewhere as a result of having the lowest fees. So perhaps this could be reworded along the lines of, "Why are some prices much higher than others?".
"The official cancellation policy in the Client Service Agreement is:"
While we mention it in the contracts, we don't have an official policy. It's intended as guidance. If it's of any help, this is how it's officially explained to Pros:
"Cuddle Comfort does not have an official cancellation policy and any enforcement is at our discretion and on a case-by-case basis.
While it is mentioned in your contract, it is the only part of your contract that is intended as guidance. If someone owes you compensation for a cancellation, we recommend reporting the user so we can check their account history. We may not take action based on a single cancellation incident but if we discover activity that suggests the client is generally unreliable, we may decide to ban the account."
"Although it says "delete your account before applying", "
Just so you're aware, this is only for female pros currently. Might not be worth clarifying though as there are so few male members who ask to go pro and I might forget to tell you when it becomes an option.
"@reurbo became the forum moderator in 2018."
He's a general moderator too, by the way. The forum represents the minority of what he does.
"Note that Cuddle Comfort does not attempt to recruit professionals"
Might be worth rewording so it's clear that it's referring to recruitment from within the website. For example, if we were to externally advertise, that might be considered a form of recruitment.
I'm not sure about that. It might be a good place for people to ask questions without having to create a new topic.
I suggested that as soon as I saw respectful's opening, "This thread is for comments and suggestions about the Frequently Asked Questions (so as not to clutter that thread).". Leaving it open would be more natural.
@UKGuy "do you have anything on choosing a username?"
Not so far; I think most people who get as far as reading the FAQ would have chosen one already. But maybe there could be one to encourage people to rethink their user name if it isn't appropriate.
@Mark I've done most of the changes you suggested -- thanks.
(About reverse image search) "This could sound scary to a newbie and put them off joining if they are already lacking confidence. I suggest removing it or replacing it with a mention about the photo privacy feature."
I think it's useful information though; the solution is just to use a unique photo, not one they already use on social media. I wouldn't want to suggest that people have no public photos and just have private ones. I've left this in for now, but shortened it a little.
(About the prostitution question) "I suppose this is a legitimate question but I do feel uneasy about it. I think at the very least it should not be the #1 question in the professional section."
I've removed it for now. It is something that seems to come up regularly though -- not so much as a question, but a false statement.
(About the high prices question) "This gives the impression we have high prices. We actually have lower prices than elsewhere"
True, but there have been some threads saying that the prices are high. I've changed the wording though.
Thank you.
I think it's useful information though
I agree it's useful. I'm just a little worried that we already have an issue with people not uploading photos. The knee-jerk fear that sentence might induce to a privacy conscious user might reduce the chances of them of uploading even more.
So I was just thinking of it from a psychological perspective rather than an entirely rational one. Perhaps the information could still be presented but in a softened tone in order to reduce the effect on conversion (member > upload).
You might think I've over-analysing. I just really enjoy A/B split testing and thinking about the psychological aspects behind slight variants of a control group.
@Mark What might be a softer way to say it? At the moment it says: "Be aware that a "reverse image search" can be used to find photos on the web, so avoid using photos from your social media sites etc."
I think the FAQ is pretty settled now, so I've removed the bit that says "If you have any comments or suggestions for this FAQ, feel free to post them in the FAQ discussion thread" -- I guess it is more natural for people to post there than here.
I just realised that I initially read it as "beware" rather than 'be aware' which is why it grabbed my attention. So maybe just change it to "Please note that..." or "Keep in mind that"..., etc ?
Few thoughts (all up for debate):
Regarding the cost of professional cuddling: That topic does come up a lot. But I agree that, in general, people’s prices on CC are lower than other sites. What if it said something like, “Why does professional cuddling cost so much?” Then add that most of CC’s pros charge less than on other sites. Then mention other places the question has been asked.
Regarding “Is professional cuddling prostitution?” I absolutely feel this needs to be in the FAQ in some way, and I prefer it first, honestly. I’ve received so many messages that basically ask what I’m offering... and there is a strong emphasis that what they’re seeking is sexual services. Even IRL I frequently have to emphasize that I AM NOT A PROSTITUTE.
I also feel that it is needed because of FOSTA-SESTA. Not addressing it, in my opinion, could be a liability issue.
My .02.
If we do include it, I would strongly recommend we avoid the word "prostitute". It's too powerful a word in my opinion.
@Mark Given that the answer is an emphatic "no", I'm not really following why it's not good to use the word prostitute - since that's exactly the issue that's being addressed? (And a word people have frequently used on the forums).
I can only speak subjectively here but for me it's a really harsh and emotional word. It really hit me in the face as I read through what I'm expecting to be all about cuddling. I think even "escort" is tangibly better as it has softer connotations regardless of the reality.
Sex work/sex worker?
I like powerful words, though.
(I nearly followed that with ‘more bang for your buck.’ Then I realized... That is quite funny, but not appropriate. ?)
I wince every time I see a topic mention prostitution. For me it's primarily about the potential negative perception by association from a passerby. I just don't want that word being associated with this website and what we do here.
I think this discussion is indicitive of the reasons that an FAQ is desired in the first place. "Frequently" asked questions. The current messaging may be ineffective. We have lots of new people bringing in questions that in the end, relate to this underlying topic.
I get that, and I TOTALLY agree with your feelings.
However, my opinion is that if it’s not addressed head-on and explicitly (again, no pun intended) — that it provides more room for doubt. You know is this cuddling or cuddling (wink, wink, nudge nudge.)
The massage industry went through this. Anyone have any idea how they broke the misconception and stigma?
State and/or local licensing along with education and nationally recognized certifications. A STRONG emphasis the they are massage "therapists". They were delivering therapy/healing. They are not masusse. National and local level organizations. Brick-and-mortar locations that stayed clean and active for years. Initially individuals of "holistic" backgrounds starting ground-level businesses. Gradually, along with the increased acceptance, these became available through real Spas and other "relaxation/wellness oriented" businesses. Visibility, track-record and word-of-mouth. Eventual "chain" stores, to take advantage of that increased acceptance and an increase in demand. Other? Edit: High use of "Groupon" and other online-discounts allow you to advertise, provide a discount (not like you can afford it), and to gather a list of contacts in the process.
However, my opinion is that if it’s not addressed head-on and explicitly (again, no pun intended) — that it provides more room for doubt.
I agree but I think that can still be achieved with graceful language more appropriate for the voice of this website. For example, I personally think these alternatives are equal in their effectiveness:
"Are your Pros actually prostitutes?" vs "Do your Pros offer non-platonic services?"
"Can a client masturbate during a session?" vs "Can a client relieve themselves during a session?"
Whelp, several of us are working on all that.
From talks with other professionals, I believe some of the aims for CuddlExpo is to create minimum standards of practice and start the process of forming a group to not certify cuddlers, but to certify cuddle training programs.
These are things I’m very excited about, but will obviously take some time. We’ll probably need the entry in the FAQ before then! ?
I think clear language would relieve the site of more liability. shrug
“Are your Pros actually prostitutes?” vs “Do your Pros offer non-platonic services?”
I worry that some people don’t know the meaning of platonic. (Is that covered earlier in the FAQ? I don’t remember.)
“Can a client masturbate during a session?” vs “Can a client relieve themselves during a session?”
Similarly, the first thought that ‘relieve’ brings to mind for me is urination. Like, “Is it okay if I need to use the bathroom in the middle of a session?” I realize context is important here, and maybe it’s because I’m female that the word ‘relieve’ doesn’t immediately bring to mind ejaculation.
For the record, I’m not trying to be argumentative for the sake of argument. I’m just trying to think this through with everyone.
I worry that some people don’t know the meaning of platonic.
That's fair enough. Perhaps then, "Do Pros provide more intimate services?".
Similarly, the first thought that ‘relieve’ brings to mind for me is urination.
Ah yes, so true.
For the record, I’m not trying to be argumentative for the sake of argument.
Not at all!
@Mark "Do Pros provide more intimate services?" could work. Or maybe "Is "professional cuddling" code for something else?"
(By the way, the Professionals section of the FAQ is near the size limit for a single post, so I'll need to shorten or remove something else to add this one back in).
Edit: (If there are likely to be any more pro-related FAQ questions in the future, there could be a "Professionals part 2" section, but I was hoping to avoid that).
"Do Pros provide more intimate services?" could work. Or maybe "Is "professional cuddling" code for something else?"
Either sounds good to me. I'm going to add the former to the official client FAQ when I get a chance.
I do wonder if the type of person coming here for sex would actually bother reading a FAQ. You would have hoped that reading just a tiny bit of this website would make it fairly obvious that we're not about that. Oh well.
@Mark
Totally agree with that! Though, I think with SESTA-FOSTA there’s still a clear benefit to having it clearly written in an obvious place, regardless of whether those other types of folks read the FAQ.
(And for the opposite types of people, people who definitely DON’T want to accidentally hire a sex worker... well, those types are more likely to read the FAQ. And it may reassure them.)
(If there are likely to be any more pro-related FAQ questions in the future, there could be a "Professionals part 2" section, but I was hoping to avoid that).
If it were to get to that point then it might be worth creating a new FAQ thread in the Professional Cuddling forum and then linking to it from this FAQ. But anyway, I don't think we need more questions for what is an overall and general FAQ.
I think with SESTA-FOSTA there’s still a clear benefit to having it clearly written in an obvious place
In the, "What are the rules for professionals and clients? What happens if they are broken?", section of the FAQ, you could even state that SESTA-FOSTA is something this site complies-with. Just a thought.