Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. At least I'm pretty sure that's correct.
I'm going to quit my job and travel the world until I run out of money. I'll be home around 9 pm this evening.
@Analyticalace89 I saw what you did with that Fun Fact.
I have a great joke about Pizza.... but it's really cheese 🤪
Did you hear about the crime in the elevator this morning? . . . . . . . It was wrong on so many levels.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it
My friend David had his id stolen,
Now we just call him Dav
😆
Thieves stole all of toilets from the local police station,
Detectives have nothing to go on
I have a joke about being bloated, but I'll retain it for now
How can you tell it’s a dad joke? It’s apparent!
Respect people with glasses. They paid money to see you.
"I'm going to quit my job and travel the world until I run out of money. I'll be home around 9 pm this evening." Made me laugh out loud. Thanks for that
I'm so close to become a billionaire! I have all the zeros, now I just need a one.
What are a plumber’s favorite shoes?
Clogs
I helped my neighbor out with something this morning and she said to me, "I could marry you". I couldn't believe it... You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return.
She said: It's the guys duty to pay the bill at the restaurant, that's why it's called MEN'U. I said, nah, it's both our responsibility, that's why its called, ME'N'U
There’s an enthusiast in my area @ClaireLee, who seems like a good fit for me. I was talking with @Lorraine, previously, but it turns out she was an unregistered pro and got banned.
The weather looks good, though.
@MonkeyNeedsAHug I have never seen Lorraine.
@IronLemon
So you’ve never seen Lorraine coming down on a sunny day?
Good to know.
What did the police say to his stomach? You're under a vest!
I'd like to thank my legs for supporting me. I'd like to thank my eyes for looking out for me. I'd like to thank my arms for always being by my side. I'd like to thank my fingers, I could always count on them. I'd like to thank my middle fingers for always sticking up for me.
@CaptainChaos I hear you Cap 🖕🏼
A guy walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables under his arm...
Bartender looks up and says "Don't go starting anything in here"
Sign on the entrance to a maternity ward says "no children allowed"
Sign on the entrance to a field says "you can go though - I don't charge, but the bull does
I once measured the circumference of a pumpkin then, divided it by 3.14, I got pumpkin π
What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
Because it was out standing in its field
(These were told by someone who joined a discord server I'm in. They were a bit put out that I knew the answers.)
no -Stormy