Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because seven eight nine. Seven ate nine....😁
@JLam36 just lived the dad joke, and has become the new king of this thread!
I tried smoking a turkey but I couldn't keep it lit.
@JeffCuddlesU What kind of rolling papers were you using?
@TheFunCartel I'm gonna guess Rawhide.
What do you get when you combine an elephant and a rhinoceros?
Eleph-rhino (pronounced sort of like "hell if I know")
Funnier when spoken ...
An eyeroll is like an eggroll, except instead of putting duck sauce on it, you put oy sauce on it.
This one is a dad joke for dads with older kids...😜😜
What do you call a cow with a twitch.
Beef Jerky
Did you know Australia’s greatest export is boomerangs? It also happens to be their greatest imports!
A man is freaking out! Frantically exclaiming “I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee, I’m a wigwam!!!” I interrupted and declared, “Calm down man, you’re two tents!!!”
Vampires make the best necromancers.
I have just got back from the Serengeti and while there I saw 2 male lions shagging, I thought to myself have they no pride!!!!
Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe, but if you remove it, you get... Gravy.
I lost my job at the barbershop
I guess I couldn’t cut it
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.
When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that's a moray.
Hard boiled eggs are hard to beat.
I'll tell you what: nothing tops a plain hot dog.
The older I get, the more I've been thinking about the people I've lost along the way... Maybe a career as a tour guide was the wrong choice.
What do you call a security guard working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
Country dictionary: M R SNAKES
M R NOT SNAKES
OSAR
CMBDIs
LIB
M R SNAKES
I'm sure someone will have already decoded this one, but i LAFFED, REALLY HARD, about it!!! lol
*'Em are snakes. 'Em are NOT snakes! Oh, 'es they are... See 'em beady eyes? Well, I'll be! Them ARE snakes!
I'm old. Small things amuse me now! lol
What do you call a street vendor who sells spaghetti? A PASTA-tute!! Womp womp!! lol
Remember the old TV show, "Fantasy Island"? I heard that after Tattoo left, he spent his retirement in Illinois. Where in Illinois, you ask?
DES PLAINES! DES PLAINES!
@Analyticalace89 that needs to be on their shirts.
@stormydaycuddle Yup
I've heard that participating in a darts match has a way of turning you around. You could say that it can do a...ahem....OOOOONNNNNE HUNDRED AND EIIIIIIGHTYYYYYY!!!!!
Definition: What Jack Nicholson might say if he hated going to the dentist.
Solution: "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TOOTH!"
I'm honestly embarrassed at how much I enjoy these!!! lolol
Sooo corny... so wonderful!!
When it comes to corny jokes, I'm all ears.
Aw, shucks!
Did you see that there is a new attraction at the zoo? It's a bagel in a cage.
It was bread in captivity.