Healing Trauma Through Cuddling?

[Deleted User]BunnyCuddles35 (deleted user)
in General

Has anyone read about trauma? I read an article and it says that our childhood sense of safety, being seen, known, soothing, valued and becoming ones unique best self, sets up a pattern for our adult lives for all future relationships and how we connect to others and even know how we feel, our values and being able to act on our gut feelings. It goes on to say that when we experience trauma as children, too little too long or too much too fast, our brains experience emotional pain and our brains try to balance with endorphins(our bodies internal morphine) that act on our opioid receptors which is why we rely on addictions later in life as coping mechanism for coping with the pain of disconnection from others and lack of safety, trust, intimacy esteem and power control. It mentions that "Any type of genuine healing should be focused on building connection, authenticity, and meaning. To recover the authentic sense of self and live fully, connected with others, in the present. To be recovered. "Trauma is what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.” I'm curious if platonic cuddling can provide this connection that is so healing to trauma?

Comments

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Purely a layman's opinion ... I don't think it will hurt, but I think you're better off with an actual therapist than just a cuddler.

  • BluboySnugsBluboySnugs
    edited November 2025

    This is great @BunnyCuddles35 !
    I’ve been focused on this topic of childhood trauma and how it affects us as adults for a few weeks now. I’ll keep you posted on my progress if you’re interested.

    What i’ve learned about healing these traumas is that it’s important to know what feelings your younger self had that created the wound.

    Once you are truly aware of the feelings and focused on that , not the conditions that caused them, you can begin to give your “child self” the love it needs.

    It’s about loving yourself now in the way you were needing as a child but didn’t have. Not about covering the pain with good feeling things.
    So using cuddles as a way to heal could be helpful, but only if you are truly connected to the feelings you are trying to heal and able to use the cuddles as a tool to love yourself

    There are so many professionals and public speakers that have put work into and are talking about this .

    Dr. Gabor Mate has some great distilled conversations about this on youtube .
    He helped me to understand that “trauma” is not the thing that happened to us. It is a wound that is created by the love connection we missed as a child. Children are hard wired to NEED constant unconditional love and support from adults, and when they miss it it can create a wound . They are fragile creatures who depend on the support to survive and don’t understand what caused the pain. they just build scars over it to cover it up and stop the wound from spreading . The scars become part of our core beliefs.
    The emotional wound is still there in adulthood, and if we don’t acknowledge it and care for it the sensitivity at the core of the scar it can be triggered if touched by similar feelings

    it’s so common for us to look to others for the love we crave in ourselves these days but it can be a slippery slope

  • [Deleted User]BunnyCuddles35 (deleted user)

    Agreed. I'm in therapy with a trauma informed therapist.

  • BluboySnugsBluboySnugs

    I think giving to others sincerely can be a strong tool for healing. So maybe cuddling can be just what you hope . A way to feel a 2 way connection with your inner self , shared with someone who can be present without trying to fulfill needs or expectations .
    Be proud of yourself.
    You’re taking the first bold steps by searching inside with blameless curiosity and hope for the future.

    Wishing you all the best i can.

  • [Deleted User]HugToHeal (deleted user)

    As a therapist, everyone is different and that includes the way we process and cope with trauma. Experiencing a safe platonic physical and emotional connection can be a helpful tool.

    I'm also happy to hear you are in therapy as well. Try and combine a variety of resources and you'll find some that work best for you. I wish you the best on your journey!

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    Yes, cuddling definitely has helped a lot of people with trauma. But, like everything else, it doesn't work for everybody.

    Always remember that cuddling helps. It's not a 'cure' for anything.

  • chickychicky

    I do believe that cudfling is something that can help along in the healing of trauma. Not all trauma is physical. It ostensibly leaves a feeling of alienation with a need for connection. I often speak about Journaling and other such things during cuddles. I truly listen, ask questions, and try to gently nudge towards things that seems would enrich their lives. Often times, the trauma itself does not even need to be acknowledged. Perhaps it is because I've endured my own traumas, but I feel there's a quiet part within us that speaks without words on wanting to be seen and valued. Not all wounds bleed. I find cuddling is a gentle way of helping to heal the wounds we can't see.

  • xoxo23xoxo23

    Cuddling is my therapy 💗

  • Mare_BearMare_Bear

    @BunnyCuddles35 Absolutely! Please find a cuddle therapist who is trauma informed and has had some training in this area

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    I think it can absolutely be part of a personal journey in healing from many things. Including trauma.

    But cuddling is not a standalone intervention and needs to be done very thoughtfully.

    Trauma, while it is very treatable, needs to be treated in the right way for each particular person.

    Cuddling can be activating for some people and make trauma symptoms worse if that individual has never experienced a safe physical connection before.

    Adding that this is the internet and you never really know who you’re going to get or how safe they actually are until you meet and cuddle with them. So you want to make sure you’re prepared for any possible triggers that could happen. Especially if you wind up with a cuddler who does not stay within the terms of service for this site.

    But ultimately, (and I know you already said you are OP so stressing this for anyone else) be in therapy with a trauma informed mental health therapist. (Not just a psychiatrist unless they are actually trained in treating trauma with therapy, which they should be able to tell you.)

    Not all mental health therapists know how to treat trauma. Trauma is a sub specialty. So you want to ask and make sure that this is what they do specifically. They should be able to talk about how they assess for and work with trauma in different ways.

    There are different kinds of therapy for trauma and an experienced trauma therapist should be versed in several or know how to get you to what you need.

    Be honest with your therapist about your cuddling so they can help you through any possible trigger points.

    There’s of course a lot more I could say here. But I’ve already gone past the tl:dr point. 🤣

    Happy and safe cuddling out there friends!!
    🫂🤗

  • BearBear

    I read the first post and I need to read the rest. Before I go any further, I am not a professional. In regards to trauma or such. I do energy healing work and I’ve done healing work with cuddling and such. Just holding somebody physically. Which has helped people. Respecting boundaries as I work with them because they’ve had trauma with other individuals. It depends I think on the person as well as other factors. Anybody feel free to DM me to know more

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