No responses from Enthusiasts

Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez
in General

Hello 🙂 first, let me preface that I am in no way complaining, as I understand everyone’s time is theirs, and they choose who they cuddle with and when. I’ve had several successful and memorable cuddles with pro’s, and I am very thankful for their time and willingness to spend time with me, so thank you.

The only thing that confuses me, and sometimes discourages me from cuddling enthusiasts, is that I never get responses. I’ve messaged them before, and I have some pending introduction messages currently, I’m just not hearing back. I don’t know if a lot of them just turn off their email notifications to tell them they’ve received a message, or what, because it seems weeks go by before they sign on, and by then, the day I’ve planned on having a cuddle goes by.

Again, very thankful for the pro’s I’ve connected with, so thank you all.

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]Michael4050 (deleted user)

    My friend, Ive had several recently get it touch with me. I think they are trying to scam me . Treating it as a dating website.

    At least one as she wanted me to go off site to Google or Gmail talk app. I told her I'd come and see her (two hour drive), but she rejected that all the while saying she wanted something serious. Hahaha..

    Maybe it's because I'm an old fart. They are trying to pull one over on the old man.

    Just be wary of a gal connecting you that is not a professional.

  • [Deleted User]justachillguycu (deleted user)

    Ladies who charge get absolutely hammered with messages, I imagine enthusiasts get it even worse.

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez

    Yeah, I understand @Michael4050, although I’ve not had anyone try to ‘scam’ me yet. Maybe it just where I live, since there’s not many cuddlers within 50 miles in my area to begin with. Mostly, I try to cuddle when traveling. Thanks for the info though. Would like to cuddle more, and cuddling with enthusiasts would open up more availability for me sometimes.

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez
    edited November 2025

    @justachillguycu i get that. I can imagine. Seems it doesn’t take long to get an answer from Pro’s though, from my experience.

  • [Deleted User]Circle5 (deleted user)

    FWIW, yours is a typical experience here. I try to approach my use of this site as a way to make connections with people, which might someday result in an in-person hangout, which may or may not result in a second. I end every intro message by saying that I look forward to hearing back, but no hard feelings if I don't. This might take the pressure off them (I've never asked) but it definitely reminds me that having expectations will just end in frustration.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)
    edited November 2025

    @Chris_Cuddlez Message a pro and it's a potential client/money. She has an incentive to get back to you ASAP. An enthusiast may already have a cuddle partner and not be looking for more, or may have just dipped her toe in the water here and have no interest in actually meeting anyone, or be so buried in messages they haven't even seen yours. Bottom line, it can take months (or longer) to find a female enthusiast, and some people never do.

  • MTexMTex

    Unfortunately, as a woman enthusiast I have the same problem with local male enthusiasts. There's very few in my city. They don't answer messages. If & when they do then some end up ghosting. It's frustrating for sure. I've had more success connecting with male enthusiasts in bigger cities.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I guess I’m one in a million because I’m an Enthusiast and I answer all messages I receive (if they are appropriate & respectful of course).
    Anyway I’m always a little sad when I read these posts that other Enthusiasts aren’t always at least sending some kind of acknowledgment or even a quick reply. But I’m in such a different situation as those who are much younger.
    I just have learned over many years that I can only control myself and have become more accepting of the idea that others do things and prioritize much differently, have much busier schedules. It also helps that I’m retired lol.
    I only hope that you all can have some good cuddling experiences!

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez

    @Circle5 thats how I always end my messaging. I always paraphrase ‘no pressure, and I look forward to hearing from you’. I don’t want to seem pressuring.

    @WriterGF yeah, kinda figured that. One of the enthusiasts I messaged a week ago, had joined sometime this month (November), and hasn’t signed in for two weeks. So I’m guessing they were just testing the waters.

    @MTex thats a shame. As an enthusiast myself, I always try to be respectful and respond, even if I’m not going to their city. Even if they’re just saying hello, I’ll message them. Hopefully that turns around for you, and you can get more replies :)

    @g_w_t_w I don’t take it personal, I just wish the odds were lower. I mean, I can understand age differences too. For me, I’m not picky. I’m 39. I will ‘comfortably’ contact with a female who is at least 28, just because I don’t want to risk coming across as ‘gross’, although I don’t know how many would actually think that, so I don’t want to generalize. But as for older, I don’t much care, though historically I’ve only messaged with women up to 50, though that’s just because of my geographic region.

    I appreciate the comments everyone.

  • EnnDubEnnDub

    Oddball addition: I’ve had men enthusiasts contact me (enthusiast, not a pro) and for whatever reason the timing didn’t work: a few weeks go by, I reach back out with open availability, and they never respond. Are they mad? Just changed their mind? It’s weird.

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez

    @EnnDub yeah. I should actually say that I don’t expect a response. If all they did was check out my page, I wouldn’t even mind that. But it often seems they aren’t getting notified that I messaged them. That’s why I thought maybe they turn off email notifications. I’m not always on here myself, but I sign on at least 1-2 times a week.

  • griffingirl1991griffingirl1991

    @WriterGF
    I think you pretty much summed up what I would've said and more. Lol!

    @Chris_Cuddlez
    Unfortunately not everyone checks THEIR inbox (or emails) daily or weekly. Some even tend to forget about THEIR account on here. Like some of the local guys I've checked out through the years... hadn't been on in weeks, months or years even. I've kinda gone off grid myself several times for multiple reasons... especially with my job hours sometimes getting in the way of my availability. Sometimes we just get so busy in our regular lives with work, school and/or kids...that we aren't even thinking about THIS place. And email account we used to sign up with, could have been deleted or no longer accessible. And then we can become afraid of how many messages we probably missed out on and are expected to reply back to them ALL as if to say we are interested in everyone we replied back to, even though we're not interested in cuddling them ALL in the end. And some could just be interested in 1 or 2 cuddle buddies instead of having a few or more options. Ya know? AND then there's the messed up quiet response "not interested, BUT also not planning to respond to the ones that I'm NOT interested in." It's MORE like a hit and miss. When I FIRST came on here years ago... hardly anyone lived nearby me. So it became a little harder for me... especially since I can't drive or host. Every person's situation is unique. So...a person's response time frame on here, can be because of MANY factors. Unfortunately you won't find every cuddle enthusiast available for response right away or even within THAT week or month. So...you MIGHT have to talk some to hopefully gain one's trust, and then ask some enthusiasts, you're interested in, waaay ahead of your availability times coming.
    Just something that we're ALL going to have to think 🤔 about coming on here... especially whenever searching for an available enthusiastic cuddler. Ya know?
    ~JG~

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez

    @griffingirl1991 i appreciate your response. I get all that. I always message ahead of time, sometimes up to two months, just to show my interest and intention. As far as trying to gain trust, I’m guilty of being somewhat heavy on the messages, although Pro’s have told me they appreciate the level of conversation and information I provide, so there’s that :)

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    One thing to keep in mind, if you’re picky about who you want to cuddle with, as in age, body type, appearance - just remember that (obviously) other Enthusiasts are also picky about who they want to be in close contact with. It’s only human. We judge who we feel comfortable with by many factors.
    Lower your expectations for responses, because finding someone who is a good fit for you isn’t easy. Many factors are at play.

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez

    @g_w_t_w i appreciate that. I don’t feel like I have high expectations on responses, I just notice the difference between how a pro will contact me within a few days, versus no contact from enthusiasts. It’s just the fact that I’ve never received a response from an enthusiast after I’ve reached out, that’s all. Maybe sometime, one will, it just hasn’t happened yet.

  • TxTomTxTom

    The 4 Ps: Polite, Patient, Platonic, Place.

    Polite: Ensure that your initial greeting/message is upbeat and friendly. Avoid talking about cuddling itself. Instead, strike up a conversation about something on their profile, or a random topic that you may have mutual interest in based on location, age, etc.

    Patient: Do not expect a response. Keeping expectations in check will help avoid disappointment. If you haven't received a response, be patient. Send a follow-up message no sooner than a couple of days later if you wish, but keep it brief. If after that a response is still not forthcoming, then move on. I would only send a third follow-up message 6 months to a year later, depending on their login activity. If you do receive a response, it is a gift, so treat it as such. If there is no interest on their part to further the conversation, respect that and let it go.

    Platonic: Maintain respectful dialogue, just the same as you would in conversation with a family member, co-worker, or a stranger at the grocery store. Avoid the obvious topics and don't dump your personal problems on them. Keep the conversation lighthearted and upbeat.

    Place: Obviously, CC is not the only place to mingle. The aforementioned grocery store, as well as a café, library, museum, and local events are also excellent places. Online activity should be complemented by the real world and all the featherless bipeds that inhabit it.

    Good luck!

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    @Chris_Cuddlez
    I totally understand and especially get the frustration. I think I’ve just gotten a jaded attitude about people in general lol. I know that’s not good but after a certain amount of time it happens. And then I’m pleasantly surprised when something does work out.
    Anyway I hope you get better responses in the future!

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez

    @g_w_t_w I get it, Thank you. It’s not like I’m frustrated or anything. I’ve had great experiences on here, so all’s well. I truly enjoy the interaction I have had with female cuddlers and I still catch myself wondering how a website like this exists, where two complete strangers can get together for a friendly platonic cuddle. It’s a great thing.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Chris_Cuddlez if you can, networking through cuddling events, meet and greets and other places are beneficial. I have had several cuddles and friendships with female enthusiasts come about because of meeting them at an event or someone I met at one knew an enthusiast and put in a good word. I have had a few enthusiasts reach out to me without me messaging them first because of these events and also seeing me on the forums. Like life, networking is a great skill to have and it opens many doors—but the key to opening those doors is the gift of gab and not being afraid to say hi and the ability to laugh at yourself. I certainly have no inhibitions about running my mouth to anyone who will listen and it has served me well with female enthusiasts. Probably because they cuddle me to shut me up I am sure.

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez
    edited November 2025

    @TheFunCartel ha, yeah. I would like to network, and get to know other female cuddlers. That would be fun. I wish there were cuddle events near me. Even if there was one a couple hours away in Grand Rapids or Detroit. I could be mistaken, but I don’t know if there has been one. I would go, that’s for sure. I’d like to get on some list or something so I can be reminded, if I don’t see a cuddle event thread, lol.

  • wreckitremywreckitremy

    Speaking from someone who has started ignoring a vast amount of intro messages, make sure you know who you are messaging. I get tons of messages from straight men who only cuddle women. I've grown tired of explaining to them that I am not a woman. I removed my original profile picture bc it was giving the wrong impression I fear.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    If you don’t receive a reply from your initial message, a good follow-up is to say “For being an enthusiast the enthusiasm is undetectable.”

    Trust me it works. They are very enthusiastic about telling you why they will never meet you after that.

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez

    @wreckitremy yeah, I get a lot of men visiting my page, but I do mention on it that I’m a straight male who cuddles women. I’ve not been contacted by any men, so I figure I’ve got that taken care of, lol.

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez

    @TheFunCartel 😂 yeah. I should try that, but I don’t wanna be blacklisted.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited November 2025

    (Note: general "you", not OP specifically)

    As an enthusiast, and former pro, I try to respond to most of my messages. However, I don't live on this site, and frequently take breaks. My mental and physical energy are super limited and and precious - low effort introductory messages are likewise going to get low effort engagement from me.

    People are not obligated to respond to every message in a particular time frame, especially when unsolicited. Do you open and read all your spam email messages? Your junk mail? Female cuddlers are already in high demand in the community and so are going to have to triage when they respond. Instant messaging and texts have kinda spoiled us on assuming that everyone can respond to us at any time, regardless of what else they have going on in their lives. I wish we could go back to when people had patience because snail mail and landlines meant we knew it might be days or even weeks before we received a reply.

    Also, are we talking about not getting a reply when the pro has been active since you messaged? Or have they not logged-in in days/weeks? Did they view your profile since you messaged?

    This is one of the complaints and discussions that frustrate me the most - people don't communicate what they expect for response time frame. Is a reasonable time hours? Days? Weeks? Communicate that if it is important to you.
    "Please get back to me by Thursday so I can make other plans."
    "Let me know your availability for next week by Friday, preferably sooner"
    etc.

    Don't assume everyone has the same communication expectations as yourself 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • Chris_CuddlezChris_Cuddlez

    @cuddlefaery it wasn’t my intention to insult you, if my statement did and I didn’t realize it, I apologize. I don’t expect anyone to message me in an expedited manner, that would of course be rude. For the most part, I send my initial introduction message about two months ahead of time if I know I’m going to be somewhere at a specific time or day. It’s simply a ‘hello, my name is Chris, and I’m going to be in this place, at this time. And I introduce who I am, and what I’m looking for in a cuddle, which is of course platonic. I never ask that they respond by a certain time, I just say that I look forward to hearing from them. I understand that cuddlers are in high demand, that’s why I initiate conversation so far in advance. I was only referencing the enthusiasts that I’ve come across, not Pro’s. And no, I’m not saying all enthusiasts are that way.

    Of course I don’t read all my spam/junk emails. But I do answer all cuddle requests and inquiries that I receive in my email from this site, mostly within 3-5 days. I don’t ignore anyone to the point where 1-2 months go by.

    I hope that clears it up.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    @Chris_Cuddlez Hmmm. You know, that could be part of the issue. If you're writing to an enthusiast saying you will be in their area and this is what you want in a cuddle ... enthusiasts may not jump at that the way a pro might. A lot of enthusiasts are going to want you to invest time building a friendship before the subject of cuddling comes up. I've spoken to guys on here who said they had to talk to women for sometimes as long as six months before a cuddle ever happens.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    @Chris_Cuddlez you didn't offend me. Like I said at the bottom of my message, the "you" I used was the general you (as in "one" or "oneself"), not the personal you. I try to be clear when I am addressing a person in particular by tagging them and using their name.

    I apologize for the confusion, I should have put the disclaimer at the top.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    I agree with @WriterGF here, that if you're messaging enthusiasts not in your area, @Chris_Cuddlez, you may run into some road blocks as many enthusiasts aren't seeking drive-by type cuddle partners, but rather longer term connections. Not all, but many.

    In general, my philosophy has become "no answer is an answer", and I keep my expectations low 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's better to have written someone off and be pleasantly surprised later than to constantly be disappointed.

  • AmberUKAmberUK

    As a female enthusiast I find the place really draining. It doesn't help I work long night hours and also struggle with meeting new people. I have met a few ppl from here, not really gone well on a whole. I like to chat to ppl first. But people are a few messaged and then you wanna meet up. I keep just deactivating my account every few months to just take a break. Then I come back and it is the same old thing. Changed my profile lots, doesn't help.
    I try not to ignore people, but sometimes the convo just dies and I cba to resurrect it.
    Reddit is even worse, least on here people aren't asking for nudity and telling me about their d*cks

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