Thanks for the observations, @MeltMyWay and I'm glad you're enjoying the flow of this discussion! Your description of how we respond to environmental constraints is perfect.
I think that all the ways we communicate are ancient, embedded in our evolutionary ability to perceive meaning. From vibrations in ether by the silia of our one-celled ancestors to the rhythm of electromagnetic pulses in modern times, humans are social beings with an infinite capacity to connect and coordinate. It's why, I think, adapting to the blindfold was so easy. As you implied, something inside me just responded automatically so I could stay connected with my partner.
I would actually like to explore sensory deprivation more. Come to think of it, an isolation tank has been on my bucket list for years! The blindfold event revealed a simple(r) way to access all the noise in my head. I might just become one of those who does this "regularly"!
Lastly, given the context of this discussion, no one would mark you for spamming the thread. Thank you for participating all the same! It reminds me that reflecting has less to do with the subject than the audience, and you've been an excellent partner for diving deep. (How's that for marketing!? 😉)
Headed off to my cuddle session y'all. Bringing a blindfold - er, extra sock! 👋🏾
I love how you framed this ... especially the idea that connection predates language. That automatic response you described is exactly what I see when people stop trying to think their way through sensation and simply let the body stay in relationship.
And yes… the isolation tank is on my bucket list too. I’ve almost gone a few times, even had a gift card for one back in Michigan that somehow never quite lined up. Maybe that says something about timing — or maybe says even more about being ready for that much quiet.
I’ll happily take the marketing feedback 😉 Thoughtful audience, thoughtful exchange. If you ever want to explore how sensory work can be structured intentionally (and with a bit of play), feel free to message me.
Enjoy your session .... and the conversation
At work presently, but reporting back that blindfolded cuddling failed for all the right reasons. Once we hugged my brain disappeared. Every word and thought I meant to share could wait. I did relate the idea but the notion of letting go to do anything besides cuddling was a non-starter. Mind you, we had a very short amount of time together before I had to split - that might have had something to do with our consensus response.
Blindfolded stuff has it's place, and continues to appeal as a expansive and meditative practice. But I can now see how anything besides cuddling while cuddling would take away from the simplicity of listening to your body and shutting off your thoughts.
There you go @FluffyTail and @MeltMyWay . Frankly, this loss was a win in my book! 🙌🏾🤩👍🏾
This crosses the line for allowable forum topics. Please review forum and site rules. - JoyfulHeart
Vision has always been a lifelong struggle for me, and honest-to-God blindness is a distinct probability when I hit old age (thanks genetic inheritance!!). My vision has always been correctable with strong enough glasses, but it kept me from ever having a chance at being a military pilot when I was younger.
This is a roundabout way of saying that the idea of being blindfolded does not give me the same positive feelings as expressed by many other folks on here. The topic is by no means triggering for me - blindess is just not something that I'm looking forward to. On the bright side, technology keeps advancing, so maybe when I'm in my seventies, there'll be a Star Trek type device for me. It might be cool to walk around with a Geordi LaForge visor on all day lol
@Jubal The geordi LaForge visor was pretty styling ... I used to wear my plastic headbands over my eyes and "cosplay" after watching him on Star Trek when I was a kid 😂
Interesting topic. Once we get past the trust arrangement and understand that any direction that allows building sensory platforms for personal growth (that include others) IMO is a step forward.
Leap of faith is real.
@botheringfun Thanks for the report! I could see being on a short time window affecting the vibe. Still an interesting concept though, I'm sure there is more to noodle on here.
Sorry I missed your post @frankparker9 . You're welcome to DM me.
@Jubal , at 48 years old myself, I can relate to the dread of change in what has been core to our identity and our past. However, if you focus on the value of self-deprivation, where you choose which sensation you'll suppress, then you might see yourself in this discussion.
The choice to struggle is where we grow. Dealing with life as it punches you in the face? That's just life. Choosing, playing with the future, is where you can practice. Personally, I thought this thread had run its course, but you're welcome to speculate along and play all the same. Thanks for the perspective!
I don't know @fluffytail - I really don't. Maybe it was the short time frame or the chemistry with my cuddle partner, which made blindfolds a non-starter.
Consider, as an analogy, the natural arc of a simple hug. There's a squeeze, maybe a sigh, then both huggers breathe out, let go, and resume talking or whatever they were doing. Normal and nice, right?
Now, imagine instead, asking your huggee (sp?) if they want to stop hugging before the natural end of the arc. That's how awkward it felt to suggest using blindfolds whilst cuddling. (By the by, I have perfectly bad analogies for every moment in life, so apologies - and, you're welcome - if that didn't track.)
I agree that there's more to noodle about here, and if more time is possible next time, or if I bring it up with a different partner, I'm still game to figure this out. And, now, why do I have the feeling @meltmyway already knows the answer! 😛
🙄🫣😏🤔 hmmm what was the question again? 😇
@meltmyway, is cuddling blindfolded a thing worth doing, or does it take away from the experience of cuddling? The latter is the current consensus from me and my last cuddle partner. The caveat being that we didn't even try it.
(Slow day at work, by the way, y'all. Thanks for indulging me!)
@Darkeyed_male that's a perfect place to end it, I think: pragmatic and reasonable. I agree, full stop. Thanks for the attention!
I would say the closest experience I've had to this is crowdsurfing at concerts.
@botheringfun ... Oh yes ... I have not tried in nor have I had a client try it in a cuddling situation. But I can imagine (for the right individual) it would definitely enhance the experience. Especially if you're incorporating other sensory therapies along with it. It would most likely need to be a regular cuddle partner to bring enough trust to the situation being it's just the 2 of you in the room.
So, @Huggycatbear , are you depriving yourself the sensation of your body weight? The compression from gravity?
Man that touches a nerve. Might as well get it out and see where this leads - apologies in advance for coopting the thread...
My brother, at his 18th birthday party, upon instruction by our father, was lifted off the ground and held aloft by his friends (I think his arms were across his chest). They swayed him back and forth humming spirituals as my dad told him to close his eyes and visualize his ascent into adulthood. Or something like that - my parents were Black hippies who tended to invent rituals on the spot.
On my 18th birthday? None of the above. No ascension, no floating, no friends even - well, one. It was a party of my parents' friends and they spent the entire time recalling my birth, literally. It sucked. I understand today how everything is frustrating or sucks when you're a teenager, and my brother likely discounted his experience then, too. (I no longer discount mine; It was absolutely extraordinary.)
To tie it all together, I've always been both attracted and afraid of losing control. Not only due to that memory but it highlights the longing and letdown. That's why the blindfold event was both enjoyable and uncomfortable, and why sensory deprivation appeals to me. What's crazy is that I'm now 48 years old and still cautious about control and identity, still seeking permission or validation from anyone before exploring it for myself.
Hmmm. I think I'm gonna book me a session at Reboot Float, a sensory deprivation spa in SF, for Christmas. It may have taken an online thread to experiment with cuddles but I signed up for that event on my own, and that reminds me how I'm the adult now.
Thanks for the inspiration @Huggycatbear !
Yep, that about jives with my experience and thinking, @MeltMyWay . A structured cuddle experience requires time enough to enjoy the relaxing cathartic part, too - e.g., just cuddling. That's something my last partner and I usually don't have.
I'll certainly see how things work with more time and a game partner. Thanks for the many insights! 🙂↕️🙏🏾