Drop your dad jokes

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Comments

  • insurance companies are warning campers that if their tent gets stolen... they wont be covered 😁

  • edited January 4

    no sexual jokes. -Stormy

  • [Deleted User]LordChillPill (deleted user)

    Try this joke and remember timing

    Two friends looking to get drunk walk into a bar

    Ouch
    Ouch

  • Where do bad rainbows go?

    To Prism.

    But it's a light sentence.... to give them time to reflect.

  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field.

  • What did the grape say after it was stepped on?

    Nothing, it let out a little whine

  • How do you make a pirate extremely mad?

    Steal his p

  • Why is the beach wet? Because the sea weed!

  • Did you hear about the guy who ate a frog? (poor froggy). He's probably going to croak!

  • I wondered why the baseball was getting closer and closer. Then it hit me.

  • To whom it may concern,
    Are all of our dad jokes being kept in a dad-a-base? Just wondering. Thanks!

  • A blind man walks into a bar... It's ok, he's fine.

    Btw all these jokes are cracking me up!! 🤣
    Especially @Auroradream 🤣🤣

  • I was fired from my job at the funeral home.

    Seems I was supposed to ask "Burial or Cremation?" Not "Smoking or Non-Smoking?"

  • I'm thinking I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

  • Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.

  • What’s the official animal of Pi Day? The Pi-thon.

  • Why should you always be careful when it starts raining cats and dogs? You might step in a poodle!

  • Why do dalmatians make the worst criminals? Because they always get spotted by the police!

  • Where does a doberman go when he loses his tail? The re-tail store!

  • Why did the dog start chasing squirrels after his dad took him to get neutered? He was trying to get his nuts back!

  • [Deleted User]JaegerMage (deleted user)

    Did you see the headline about the fortune-telling little person that escaped from custody? "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE"

  • An Arab, a Jew, a Mexican, a black guy, & a white guy all walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them & says, "What is it? A joke?"

  • edited February 7

    one of the earliest dad jokes I remember: Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley. One was a salted (assaulted)!

  • I never believed in orthopedic shoes, but I stand corrected.

  • I used to be in a band called sold out .
    We had amazing posters…
    unfortunately no one ever came to the shows

  • My wife & I have new neighbors. Nice folks, but they live a little different lifestyle than us. They sunbathe in the nude! My wife is NOT happy.

    Me...I'm on the fence.

  • Did you hear about the fancy chef's hat? It's the toque of the town.

  • A fish swimming along hit a wall
    Fish says
    Dam

  • Definition: How Jonah must have felt when he was swallowed by a whale.

    Solution: Down in the mouth

  • You show me a country singer's ghost, and I'll show you The Phantom Of The Opry.

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