How do you navigate the 'after-glow' of a session? Is it difficult to switch from such intense physical intimacy back into your personal life once the clock stops?
If you're not able to manage cuddle vs non cuddle times then there might be something deeper going on with ya that needs addressing
@SqueezeBuddy this is a very Interesting point for discussion. I do feel a sense of emptiness and loneliness afterwards, but IMHO it is completely normal to feel that way. For this reason, I prefer not to host, but to meet in a hotel on neutral ground in order to kind of leave my feelings and emotions 'away from home'. On a practical note, I do plan what I will be doing after the cuddle session, so I have my schedule organised, this stops the " after cuddle crash" as I call it. 🤷😉
What @pmvines said-- Although, I've mentally gone a little "off the rails" with a cuddle buddy more than once. Increasing the length of time between cuddle sessions with that specific cuddler might help(?) Doing something that requires concentrating afterwards (like doing a puzzle or a good work out) might help. Personally, I'll get lost in a book, then take a nap, and by then I've forgotten, but I still feel mentally rested.
It definitely feels like passing through a portal into another world for an hour or two. I can see how it could be challenging for those who don't naturally compartmentalize.
It’s not difficult energetically. On a cold day, sometimes it’s hard to get out of bed at the end of a nice cuddle session. But I enjoy the afterglow and allow it to fuel my energy for my next responsibility. Part of the service of hiring a cuddler is experiencing the oxytocin afterglow, it should be enjoyable. Not difficult. Sounds like a matter of changing your perspective.
I feel ya! When I first began cuddling, I truly did not know what to make of the feelings that occurred - before, during, and after the sessions. That flooding of oxytocin was confusing and disorienting at first. Only by following the advice here and cuddling with multiple partners did I start to get a sense of what was chemical vs what was emotional vs what was mental connection.
Now, I have come to think of the cuddle chemicals similarly to other substances - like alcohol or pain meds or other legal substances (I’m in CO . Just as i might have a “drunk thought” that i know isn’t really true if i were sober, i can start to recognize my “cuddle highs” and just allow the thoughts and feelings to float by, enjoying them but not fully embracing them. And it’s the same with the physical sensations i may have after a cuddle - enjoy the flood of oxytocin, but don’t let it derail my plans 😊
Also, now that I know it’s coming, I can plan for it, and do something that aligns with that post-cuddle state. For me, that’s something like cooking or walking or easy errands where I am moving the “glow” through my body, but not having to push it away to concentrate on like accounting or nuclear physics 😜 but I also can’t afford to spend more of the day in bed usually, so I try to integrate the positive vibes into my day.
Hope that helps! You are not alone- cuddling is powerful medicine. 💊🫂🌿 for many, it can be treated and respected as a substance 🫶
I can see how it could be challenging for those who don't naturally compartmentalize.
@SaturnRing I have thought the same thing for a long time because I compartmentalize without even thinking so I might think “wow that was nice, I will have to do that again” but that’s about the extent of it. I agree with your explanation.
I suggest engaging in more interaction with people out in the real world.
I justthink about the session , and write ma karma if she was worthy of one and then thank her by message.
This became a recurring theme for me, so I poemed this and put it on my profile:
My cup is filled when she is here, And emptied when so quickly gone. Longing to have her back next to me, If she could only just stay till dawn.
For when she leaves it’s cold, I lose her warm, As the clock is cruel and quick. Left longing and aching, for her female form, As the evening’s candle has burned out its wick.
@WestsideMarc I love ❤️ that … well said. And on point.
I had my first cuddle a few days ago and it was wonderful. I felt good the rest of the day. The next day I felt so empty and alone. Granted, I have several things going on in my life that could also play into those feelings. Thank goodness for therapy!
I had a few cuddle sessions where the next day I felt awful. Honestly it felt like a kinda sub drop. I guess it’s down to the feel good chemicals at the time.
I have a zoo and they kept me quite busy. So before/after any cuddle sessions are not an issue for me as they kept me occupied. During my downtime, I have plenty of chores to do. So the moral of the story is fill your world with extras that you do not have time to feel alone.
I can’t not address a couple of comments in this thread. Everybody’s brains are wired differently. For me, I’m disabled and very lonely. My brain is missing the everyday camaraderie that most people get to have with others. Not everyone is extroverted and outgoing to just go out and do what others find easy. I thought this site was for people who are facing similar issues like me, and then to see a couple of people who are very active on here to say that that those people need to address other things that are going on with them is very disappointing and honestly disrespectful. What makes you think this isn’t the way they are addressing it? Read up about exposure therapy. This site is SUPPOSED to be therapy in itself, or so I thought. I definitely understand what the original post is saying about the after-glow wearing off a recent booking. For a short period, life and time stands still, and then to go back to your daily struggle right after hits you hard. I don’t find that all too hard to understand
Usually I immediately start resetting my space so I don't have to worry about it later. Once in a blue moon, though... I'll take a nap. Especially if they know their way out. 😂
Listening to music while driving home after a cuddle session usually helps. I usually send a message thanking them, then do something relaxing like playing a game. I usually feel filled up and happy after a session and that slowly empties out over time, which by then I'll seek another cuddle session.
This site is SUPPOSED to be therapy in itself...
I've never seen any language that would indicate that.
This site is a PLATFORM for connecting with others. And that's all.
There are other sites for seeking therapy.
@kydavid - You took that too personally and you take the "therapy" reference too literally. I wish they'd abolish it from this site because although cuddling can mimic the effects of therapy- None of us are trained in psychology and there are entirely too many people in the world who take everything literally. I have a cuddle buddy I meet with VERY sparingly because they legitimately need therapy, but I'm an enthusiast, so I'm "cheaper". It's not relaxing for me AT ALL and I feel mentally and physically drained afterwards..
I have disabilities too and I'm definitely not "extroverted". Cuddling works for me because it's one on one in a controlled environment. I can have a panic attack when in groups with people I don't know. I've had to leave a bowling alley when it became too crowded. I've had to ask to be resat at a restaurant more than once because strangers were seated " too close". I "get it" so if my comment was one that "hit" you, I'm sorry!
I've only had one session so far. We went for perhaps 90 minutes. I definitely felt like my tank was full and had a glow about me.
I didn't feel empty afterwards. I felt at peace.
That was two weeks ago, and I don't feel like I need a follow up right now.
I suspect in two to three weeks I'll do another session.
@TxTom @great_pillow08 the site has a “spread the word” section that literally has cuddle therapy written. In the “about us” section it list some of the therapeutic benefits of cuddling. I never said this was a replacement for a licensed therapist, but cuddling has been known for a while now that it releases chemicals like oxytocin, a word that I’ve seen used on here a plethora of times. While I understand that not everyone uses this site for therapeutic benefits, I’ve seen my share of people on the forums who do, including this thread. So why would the mention of therapy be removed and not be used literally? It’s how I found the site to begin with.
@kydavid
Cuddling is not in and of itself therapy though some might find it therapeutic. Nor are cuddle pros therapists with any kind of mental health training. You are responsible for your well being here, as well as in life. What do you expect, an after care program ? This site is also for everybody, not just people who self describe as in the same boat as you. I am not here to tell you what to think about my comments or that of others. This is a public forum and you are entitled to disagree. One thing you're not entitled to however is the expectation that others must make concessions for the way you feel about it.
Good luck and happy cuddles
@kydavid There are LOTS of things "wrong" with this site- Words used (and not used), how it's run, who's allowed to "run" it. Don't even get me started!! I "hear" you, but I don't think Mark or whomever it is that runs this site pays all that much attention- There are incredible amounts of legalities that have been left unaddressed that I just don't think would be if "the powers that be" around here were aware of them.
The first season was kind of hard to leave from since I was feeling a very strong need for it, but subsquent ones have been easier. Overall I feel refreshed after each session
@pmvines as I said above your comment, I never said that this was a replacement for licensed therapists, nor did I ever imply it was. I also never said that the pros have professional training. I also mentioned that I know that not everybody uses this as a therapeutic outlet like I do, and are just looking for friends to hang out, to which I think is a wonderful thing. But to say that for the people who do use this site as therapeutic outlet and often find a sense of emptiness after a session to have it addressed as if it’s not a common reaction, is a very rude thing to say, as you don’t know their story or how they personally deal with things. Again, everybody is wired differently and we should all be empathetic to everyone.
I thought this site was for people who are facing similar issues like me
The site is for everybody and everybody is different with their own set of opinions, prejudices and experiences. Your challenges are valid but those viewpoints who do not face the same challenges as you are just as valid. For this site to work everyone needs to respect each others views even if all of us fall short of that goal on occasion. I think @great_pillow08 is right that you may be personalizing what you read too much. We all know there are similar people to you on the site, but you are not the only group of people. I wish you luck on your search for peace.
🎶All you need is love duh duh dada duh,🎶 All you need is love🎶, All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
This thread needs to breathe and chill. Hope everyone is enjoying their evening!
I was just expressing my thoughts on the subject, to which many people in this thread agreed to feeling the same, and that that feeling shouldn’t be scrutinized. Unfortunately, somehow a lot of false narratives were put in my speech that I never expressed. It was never meant to be an attack on anyone, just that others should be more considerate and empathetic to those who feel a certain type of way after a session, as everyone processes things differently. Hugs to all
It’s not difficult
Most of the time I never leave my regular life mode. I compartmentalize as well as default to caretaker mode as a natural way of life. I think I’ve only had a deep oxytocin moment like two or three times where I became unaware of time as well as personal needs until I hit reality and had to run to the washroom, lol.
Even with prose, I usually go into caretaker or facilitator mode. I guess you can call it.
I also compartmentalize automatically sometimes where I don’t even realize it.