Loyalty.. A strange phenomena !!

Comments

• JohnR1972

  January 26

  “Loyalty is a core value of mine. I am an extremely loyal person and employee. I want to work for a company that values loyalty, so if another company is willing to pay me more for my loyalty, I will quit this job and go work for them.”

  • Dwight Schrute,
  • Assistant (to the) General Manager
  • Dunder Mifland
• TheFunCartel

  January 26

  Loyalty does not mean blindness. Loyalty is a two-way street. If you see the warning signs of gaslighting, being patronized, broken promises, or being taken advantage of, you should begin plotting an exit strategy.
• diegosensible (deleted user)

  January 26 edited January 26

  @consciousseeker For me it's shame. It's more about how would I look if I didn't do fill-in-the-blank, if I made a choice to put my own mental health first. It freaked me out for such a long time. Then one night, while I was stewing in my anxieties and fears, I suddenly imagined life without it. It was such a blissful thought and I knew what I had to do. I'm glad you realized how blind you had become and are starting to question it. I think there's a joy at being someone who can be relied on and to be needed. To be competent at something that provides a significant value to others. But if it's too one-sided, it leads to a loss of self (that dishonesty you talked about).

  I think the only way to deal with the other side of it, when someone else withdraws loyalty, is to empathize. It forces me to examine why I feel the way I do and how I might feel if I was in their shoes. Usually that let's me say "I hope they find what they need and are happy with their life" because that's what I'd want for me. I look at myself and own what part I played in it and see what I need to change in myself. But it's hard, I wish that was easier. We'll probably all give you some answer or say what worked for us or what we think, but the reality is that you have to find some solace for yourself in the best way you know how. It takes a lot of work and it's draining. But there's another side eventually (I'm still looking for it).

  Sorry for whatever you're going through or have been through. Warm wishes on your continued journey, thanks for sharing!
• 7gem

  January 26

  Really cold here this morning. I had to use my Supermarket loyalty card to scrape off my windshield. Only got 10% off.
• Huggycatbear

  January 26 edited January 27

  Going off what @TheFunCartel says, loyalty is just an important to have for ourselves first and foremost. If we abandon ourselves for someone else--which I've fallen into once or twice in life 😅 (grrrr many times) we risk falling into blind loyalty.

  I'm beginning to hate this word, because it's said so many times.

  But gotta have the boundaries first, then loyalty can come second.
• Bear

  January 26

  @JohnR1972 @7gem

  Nice ones. Both made me smile.
• MeltMyWay

  January 28

  For me, loyalty only works when it starts inward. Being loyal to your morals, values, and integrity has to come first ... otherwise loyalty turns into obedience or avoidance.
  Blind loyalty asks us to abandon discernment. Self-loyalty asks us to stay honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.
  When someone withdraws their loyalty, I think the real work is asking why ... not to defend ourselves, but to see where our actions may no longer align with who we say we are.or maybe it's they don't align with who we are and what we stand for.
• SunsetSnuggles

  January 29

  @consciousseeker
  I'm not sure I believe in loyalty, in the sense you describe. When you talk about people giving it at the expense of facts, integrity, or when it hurts others... That goes into a very unhealthy version of loyalty that I don't think should be supported, at all.

  In situations like those, I'd imagine there are likely deep issues such as narcissism, substance abuse, lack of boundaries, and severe self-worth struggles.

  Loyalty doesn't mean that you stay in a situation for the rest of your life, regardless of what the other person does. There definitely needs to be a healthy, respectful environment. If an environment or person turns toxic, it is okay to walk away. It doesn't make you disloyal, it is a healthy means of protecting yourself, respecting yourself, keeping good boundaries, and even showing others in the situation that the treatment or the way things have turned is no longer acceptable.

  To me, loyalty isn't about how we react to what a person does, it's more about how we handle what a person goes through. Is our loved one going through a cancer battle? A job crisis? Do they need emotional support, financial support, someone to literally carry them to the bathroom? These are the times I believe we prove whether we are loyal to our significant others, family, and friends. It's what we do when their lives are hard, through no fault of their own. Do we stand by them and support them, or do we leave because it would be easier?

  Love everything @MeltMyWay said.

  ~ Sunset Snuggles

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