Have only skimmed comments, so forgive me if I am repeating someone's comment but... in defense of the OP, if someone is looking for non-platonic activities, I highly doubt they are overly concerned if the other person is married.
@SqueezeBuddy Platonic had nothing to do with the situation. It was the OP’s first cuddle and the pro suddenly said she was married and he had an emotional reaction to it based on how he was raised and his beliefs. He now knows to state his preference that he not cuddle married people.
Seems like someone should be able to post about a feeling without having that emotion stepped on and invalidated.
@7gem I agree with that in principle, but OP was wanting everyone on the site to cater to his preferences.
@SpicyNSweet I didn't come to that same conclusion.
Here's my two cents. I prepare tax returns for a couple of licensed massage therapists. Both have told me stories involving married clients. From what I understand, the therapists weren't doing anything they shouldn't have been doing. Nevertheless, some of the clients spouses got pissed when they each learned about it (and this has been true whether it was the husband or the wife who was the client).
That's a platonic, professional relationship that's roughly analogous to cuddlers, right? Yet marital status is a concern there, so it's reasonable that it's a concern to some here. It's not reasonable to vilify someone for having that concern, even if you disagree with it.
@Jubal @7gem @MeltMyWay 💯
I also did not detect the OP judging the pro. He said it just made him feel awkward. This was his first session ever. I felt awkward and inadequate on my first session just because it was my first session. Awkwardness is a human trait, unless you count George Carlin’s cat that goes behind the couch after running into the wall and says “f&$%kn meow”
@TheFunCartel Oh, no, I didn't get the OP judging the pro, but rather some responses judging the OP for having his awkward feeling.
@Jubal Yup absolutely agree
Can we please get the feature that lets us mute threads from our own home page? It can be exhausting just looking at the names of some of these threads.
comment removed - no personal attacks please
Whew, this thread is a doozy and a half. I'm half and half on the subject. I don't care what marital status a pro cuddler is. I'm basically paying for a service and that's basically hugs within a specific amount of time, nothing more, nothing less so I wouldn't have been frazzled about a lady cuddler bringing up her husband out of the blue in a convo while in the middle of an embrace. I would assume and trust he's alright with her doing so.
On the other half, from what I see, the OP @durantpiano in my opinion is being unfairly mobbed on by many of the people here on the thread having an issue with him stating his preference, even to a few making assumptions about his character just because he had an aversion to being around a cuddler who is married. It's not like he called the woman out of name or gave her a bad review because of it. He just felt odd about it and that's all that it was, a feeling and who are we to harp on someone for voicing out a feeling?
The saddest part is that this very thread reveals how the art of proper discourse is completely null and void in society of today. There are no civil disagreements to be had. Someone says a thing that could potentially be a mild to hot take and they are immediately branded and indicted as if they said something nasty and foul and in my honest opinion, it's messed up that people can't address a differing opinion having the response being inflammatory and outright abrasive.
Durant — it’s a fair question. There are many reasonable responses, but the amount of hate in the comments feels a bit over the top. No shock I guess unfortunately.
Personally, I’m a very huggy person with close friends and family. I give big hugs whenever I see them. But I’m not someone who would have a 60-minute cuddle session — even if it’s completely platonic — with a cousin, sibling, or friend, male or female.
So here’s my two cents: someone suggested this already, and I agree — just ask before you book. Something like:
“Just to be upfront, I understand these sessions are 100% platonic. That said, I’m not really comfortable cuddling someone else’s spouse. If you’re married, please let me know and I’ll simply move on.”
No offense intended, no ulterior motives — just being honest. Even though the session is platonic, I can see why some wouldn’t want to cuddle someone else’s spouse.
Comparisons to massage therapists, doctors, nurses, or other touch-based professions aren’t really the same thing. For example, during a massage, the therapist isn’t climbing onto the table for a mutual massage — even though it’s also completely professional and platonic.
At the same time, I know many professionals in this field who rely on this work as their full-time income. I personally don’t see an issue with cuddling a married person, but it’s also okay if someone else does. We’re all different.
Maybe there could be a little less finger-pointing and a little more empathy and understanding in the conversation.
Good luck.
@durantpiano to me, I’m all about informed consent, regardless if it’s cuddling a professional or anyone else. I know that some cultures and traditions view intimacy differently when it comes to physical touch, even if platonic. I get that it could be a boundary issue.
Next time you book a pro, I would suggest asking for a call if the pro doesn’t offer one. Think about what you feel comfortable with and what you don’t feel comfortable with and ask the pro before the session. The last thing I would want is for someone to have different expectations and have a disappointing experience. The more disclosed up front could help not feel awkward or weird later.
@SublimeHugs I think this could be comparable to massage therapy. I have a guy friend who has a hard time booking clients because both men and women in his area feel more comfortable booking with women. Some women prefer female OBGYNs even with the expectation that it’s a clinical provider.
I think it comes down to trust and communication. I’m not here to police preferences but always encourage more communication before paying for anytime of service - touch related or not.
OP being unfairly mobbed. While i dont care if a cuddler is married or in a relationship i definitely want to make sure that i am safe and dont bring additional stress to my life. There have been people in the past that host with their husband in another room which is fine if they were truly fine with it but the client gets dirty looks when they enter. The economy is tight theres been instances where significant others say theyre ok with it but theyre really not but money is money.
Edit i forgot to mention a cuddler on this site who is deactivated had their husband threaten a client over texts that hed shoot him if he ever came again. Maybe thats why she deactivated but thats definitely not someone id ever want to risk booking.
Everyone is allowed to have preferences as well, theres several pros in my area that will not see me simply because im not white or asian. I dont argue with it i just go with the next person.
As previously mentioned, cuddles on here are platonic. Also, some people are in open relationships or at least don't see cuddling as cheating. My boyfriend learned what I did for a living when we met and He still asked me out. He never asked me to change careers. I'm only getting out of cuddling for my own reasons.
As long as a Pro isn't lying to their partner and putting the client at risk of a jealous, angry partner coming home, it's not really the client's business.
Personally respectfully I think it’s weird for a married woman in a happy, committed and fruitful relationship to want to cuddle other individuals. At the end of the day it’s still body to body contact. Body parts will do what body parts do in these situations even when respect is there. Regardless of it’s platonic or not the door is open for all kinds of energies to exchange. It’s literally impossible to ignore it especially if you are even remotely attracted to said woman.
So yeah I think it’s weird and something that should be divulged to me prior to a meet up imo.
“My husband gonna be home in a few” is a killer of the mood. Especially if I don’t know this before hand.
But that’s just me.
✌🏽
@GLP - I'd like to think most Pros who are in relationships either 1) have an office (like I do) where they conduct business 2) utilize hotel rooms or 3) travel to their clients.
And yes, you're entitled to your opinion that people in open(ish) relationships are "weird". It doesn't make it true. Unconventional, sure.
But re: your thought process of "body parts will do what they do" - some men are attracted to/turned on by feet. Should I not be allowed to wear flip flops in front of said men because I'm in a relationship and may accidentally turn them on?
In my opinion, here is the bottom line...cause we can go on and on about this subject...
If a pro being married is of importance to you, FOR WHATEVER REASON, ask the pro BEFORE booking. Then, that resolves that. On the other side, if a pro chooses to be honest about a significant other FOR WHATEVER REASON, he/she needs to accept that he/she may lose some clients. Period.
We can discuss reasons and morals all day long. It doesnt matter whatsoever why the cuddler wants to know or why the pro chooses to provide this info.
@sausalito Being in a city like NYC or any metro area heavy on diversity helps. I'm not White or Asian myself but that's never been an obstacle when meeting cuddlers. Of course location is key to many things.
We pretty much share the same sentiment in this thread. The OP is getting ripped to shreds like Jurassic Park cannon fodder all for merely stating a preference which is in my opinion a rather reasonable one because a sense of caution could be exercised because one doesn't really know if there's a possibility of a hostile encounter with the husband of a lady cuddler. Personally it doesn't make a difference to me because I would take her word for it that her husband would not be an obstacle and if said situation were to go down, I know who to blame. Fortunately that has never happened to me, then again I've only been with one married cuddler whose husband had no issue with her pro status as a cuddler so my chances of getting into that unfavorable position is assuredly low.
My partner and I are both professional cuddlers on here. He knew I was a professional cuddler when we met and started doing it as well about 6 months into our relationship. I honestly thought it said our relationship status on our profiles I don’t give this information ahead of time and sometimes it comes up in conversation before this it never even occurred to me that could bother someone.
@mimiloveshugs2 I was just going to say that!
Getting a massage is not a sexual thing but a lot of men would not feel comfortable getting a massage from another man.
I mean one could that if it's platonic then the gender of the other person shouldn't matter at all, right? But most people have a preference.
I think "ripped to shreds" is a hilarious exaggeration 🤌🤣 I agree with the statements that all the OP needs to do in the future is make it clear he's not comfortable cuddling a married woman. He's allowed to feel awkward about the situation. What I'm not cool with is requiring relationship status to be on everyone's page. That's bizarre to me.
I think the reason why us professionals don't have the option to post our relationship statuses is because it shouldn't be relevant to the session. They should be platonic sessions where cuddling is stress relieving and not a gateway to something more
I definitely understand wanting to know the status of my relationship as a pro. Even though I have great reviews, host out of my home,just minutes from the San Antonio Riverwalk, and can promise we are alone and private for our cuddle session in a clean and safe space.. We are all responsible for our own safety. I'm an honest person and can say my address isn't sought after by most. It's in the heart of a bad area but I'm next to a school so I'm safe. Lol did that make sense to you? Lol it doesn't make sense to most. So I get it. There are risk in anything we do. A natural human response to vetting a professional is going to route a newbie or really anybody to get in their head a bit. (I'm holding her I hope she doesn't have a partner that's gonna walk in the room and be upset) is totally natural to think about. So chill 😎 😌 ☺️ 👌 🤗 One time I was getting so many pictures and videos from a cuddler that I actually told a fib. (Yes, I know I can communicate correctly next time and not lie. Sometimes I'm a human and fall short) Well anyways, I said that my boyfriend was with me and I needed to stop getting snaps from the cuddler since the bf didn't like it. Ain't nobody gotta bf over here 🤣 Within the next 5 minutes that cuddler blocked me.😳 🚫 And I'll likely never hear from them again. Gosh they were awesome. I dropped the ball there. Anywho, back to topic. Relationship status of a pro cuddler can be asked about. Preference is preference. Mind you just because a pro is single you don't get to be inappropriate. Because she's married doesn't mean you mind your manners just because she's taken. Stay focused on a platonic experience no matter the status and boom. It'll be lovely 🤗 we're all human. End rant. Lol
@durantpiano My best guess as to why marital status isn’t listed for pros is for the reason you asked. People might not hire them because of that, then whomever runs this site that profits off of it wouldn’t be paid, but that’s just a guess! There’s lots of info listed I find irrelevant. Like if someone has kids or what their occupation is. I wish this site did background checks on everyone though (and yeah- I’m WELL aware of how expensive that would be!).
Humans are so weird and diverse.. like truly its sorta fascinating how strongly everyone in this thread feels about the topic and on such different viewpoints too.
Based upon my 6yrs cuddle experience, about 30-50% of the female pros on CC are either married or in committed relationships, but don't always disclose it. Same goes for the male clients (more like 50 - 70% married/committed) from what I'm told. Others may not agree - or have different data?
No judgement here, platonic cuddling on CC is a professional service among mature, often interesting adults. And expect many of these participants to be in relationships. Should be no surprise?