I don’t know the whole story either but it seems to me that some people are blaming the male client and some are blaming the female pro. I think this is unfair considering we don’t know the whole story.
@Kempist the times I've cut sessions short, it was because my boundaries were being repeatedly violated and ignored. I'm not privy to this specific situation of course, but I would venture to guess that's the case more often than not. I mean, just look at the relevant crime stats. 🤷
@Midnight01 that poster is a disabled woman (as am I) who quoted the word cripple the OP used twice. She didn't accuse him of anything. It's completely healthy and normal to ask questions and not take everything at face value.
And what disability would that be exactly? That was cringe af to say that. Dude can't walk. You two can walk I assume.
@Midnight01 no person, OP included, is required to disclose their disability status. It's a protected class in most countries for a reason. And even if someone discloses they are disabled, they are not required to prove it to you to satisfy your curiosity.
What, precisely, did you find cringe? If it's the word cripple, again, I used the word because the OP did. And some in the disabled community have been reclaiming the phrase. If rather you did not like me pointing out that OP was playing up a particularly harmful stereotype - sorry, we'll just have to disagree on that point. I am active in disability advocacy and am heavily impacted personally by such stereotypes, as are many of my loved ones. I'm not going to keep quiet on it just because you don't like hearing about it. Feel free to scroll past my comments.
I am disabled...OK, what is disabled about you? Is a normal reaction. but it is unlawful to ask what my disability is.. how bigoted of you to ask.... okay... can you walk? You called him "POOR" crippled.. OP never said he was poor or anything like in that adjective. This isn't the disabled olympics. Cuddling, you kind of need your body, ie legs, in this fashion.
Wow, this whole conversation is kind of a mess.
It seems like an unpleasant scenario that is being made worse by a distinct lack of kindness and understanding of both sides.
My take:
Meeting and cuddling involves intimacy and risks of many kinds - emotional and physical. We all want it to be great but sometimes it isn’t. That really sucks when it happens but how we repond is even more important.
Being rejected really really sucks, especially when you have risked your vulnerability. But it happens and we must move on gracefully.
You cannot assume intentions or motivations of others, no matter what evidence there is.
The site has a system for reporting bad experiences and it should be used. It seems fine and appropriate to express disappointment here in the forum, but publicly naming someone in the forum is not the right way to go about it. It’s a bad look from the start.
Writing off every pro because of a bad experience is certainly a choice, but it’s all but eliminating any chance of having a better experience.
Foot rubs with lotion is not what I would call platonic cuddling - at all. And it seems the rules of the site concur. Maybe this was agreed upon ahead of time but it feels like pushing a boundary.
Women are at risk all the time in regular life. Exponentially more so when meeting with a stranger in a new place. I will pretty much always give the woman the benefit of the doubt in that scenario because of the way the world treats women.
Anyone cuddling -either side - must be allowed to end the session if they are uncomfortable.
If you know any women in real life you should understand why someone might make up a story to be able to exit an awkward situation quickly.
Publicly presenting your story is a choice, but you cannot then get twisted when people respond in a way you don’t like. It didn’t have to be public.
And when they do respond, lashing out at them, or specifically wishing them harm or suffering is only making it worse.
@Midnight01 I said "poor cripple" referring to the stereotype - I did at no point call him that, and I would not as as I explained above, I believe that stereotype is extremely harmful.
If you're going to keep engaging disingenuously, I will stop responding to you. Don't read/hear what I don't say.
Sure, whatever you say disabled woman. I hate stereotyping but will say them anyway. I never heard of "poor cripple" stereotype in my life btw. We know the OP is a cripple who can't walk or use his legs. Cuddling is very hard. You two can cuddle easily. Also, if the OP gives foot massages, so what? His hands are probably very strong and it's his form of cuddling, hes in a fn wheelchair, have some perspective.
Shoutout to the mods for allowing this to play out.
@TheFragmented 😂😂😂💀
so I spent the only time we spent before she bolted applying lotion to her feet and giving her a foot rub.
Ya'll be having very different ideas of what cuddling means than me...
What position is that on the cuddling chart?
Foot rubs are nice , but, I’ve had a few sessions where it quickly became very obvious that the “ innocent “ foot rub was really the clients foot fetish in disguise. . 🤮.. just saying.. I did report it too. There are other sites for that. She could have been freaked out/grossed out or just very uncomfortable. I don’t know.. I was not there. Only the OP and the Pro know what really happened. I’m not believing it had anything to do with a disabled human being as the Pro most likely knew of this at the time of booking or before the appt was even made. Whether the client is in a wheelchair or not should not make a difference . I’m leaving if I feel uncomfortable/unsafe. No warning or explanation is needed from me. Safety first.
@GentleSnugHug it seems that some people here on the site ( imo) pretend to be different things.. lie about being Sick , other things, etc.. they forget things they said in previous posts, things don’t add up, etc… however, it’s not nice to wish a stroke on someone just because they have different views. Just not right., I’m sorry this happened to you. I hope you recover/heal.. wishing it to happen to someone else is wrong.. you gave us a glimpse of who you are though., thanks …
Yea I know that some pros do scam people. That is a thing. However, the wishing of pain and strokes and whatnot on others because of what they say kind of shows a very dark and bitter side of OP
Everyone should apply to become a “pro” so you know the criteria to become such!!
@Sheena123 agreed. Therapy would be beneficial. And I say that as someone in therapy who believes everyone would benefit from it. It isn't an insult. @SweetCuddler33 perfectly stated.
@Kempist many refund but if they don’t feel safe they are allowed to just get out of there. It’s up to them and their security. They don’t have to explain for safety reasons in case someone freaks out and harms them.
When I was a pro I literally threw the guys money at him and told him to get out. It shocked him probably the only reason he left, tbh.
But I digressed from the point of this thread and mine.
Changed my mind.
What an interesting discussion. Hmmm....
@Kempist *edit * I just realized this was direct at someone in particular ... Below comment is just my understanding .
if the client did or said or asked or insinuated something that is against CC rules .. no they do not refund you. Pros are instructed to receive full payment at the beginning of a session. Outside of breaking CC rules and guidelines I would assume the pro would need to refund the client.
And I'm sorry but to me this thread did.mostky read as attack on the OP .. wether it was meant to or not.
.
Well, OP gave us an interesting insight in his personality 🚩
Im just glad i conduct my sessions the way i do and take the countermeasures i do so no one can ever blame me of something false.
Scammers do exist which is why im always wary of new acccounts. Karma while doesnt tell you the whole story will at least do a good job to protect you against scammers. I cant comment on the situation itself since i dont know what happened and only the mods know if a report was made and if that pro was legit or not with other clients.
If a pro doesnt want to cuddle someone with a disability they should really not respond to DMs so said person can move on to the next. Theres pros in my own area that at least are honest saying they are selective in clients and dont see other races even if someone can vouch for their safety.
“Countermeasures” Hahhahahahahahha
All I can say is ooooofff. Learning experience all around
I see the OP is on timeout.
I have never thought to use the term “cripple” when speaking of a disabled individual. My instinct is that term similar to a slur. If a disabled individual wants to claim that term…ok…but I can see how that can be weaponized.
I think there is enough evidence in the story to discern the pro felt uncomfortable. I have never asked a cuddler to massage or lotion my feet or thought to do that to.a cuddler. A reasonable person would interpret that as being as being ‘slick’ or boundary pushing.
The OP says the pro worked with autistic kids. The pro felt uncomfortable and may have decided to reconsider life, career, side job choices - cuddling is not for her. It doesn’t look like a straight up scam to me. I don’t have enough information but it doesn’t feel “planned” to end a session early and deactivate an account. if it were a planned scam, more likely the pro would ask for money up front then go to the bathroom or even request money before meeting with client. those are my thoughts.
if a pro wants to leave…why would that be the ‘worst experience’. if someone doesn’t want to be around me and leaves…ok…perhaps that person wasted my time…but ‘worst experience ever’. I dunno.
add in the angry comments directed at other posters. I think we have enough information to figure out what happened here and how certain actions led to certain conflicts. a valuable learning experience.
if the op says “never again” then what is the goal remaining on this site? to vent about it? ask others to change his mind?
I’ve seen some rowdy threads before, but this one makes me want to take my money and run Judgy, projections and rude - oh my!
You know, sometimes it’s a good idea to slow down and remember that there’s an actual human being at the other end of these threads. 🤷🏻 👋
The OP said he had hired the pro before without any issues, so it seems unlikely that the reason she bolted is because of the disability. If she had issues with that, why would she accept another booking? Something happened here. And anyone regardless of their background or situation can be a creep, just as anyone can be perfectly considerate and professional. And his wishing that anyone who questions him become disabled themselves is absolutely abhorrent.
I imagine how I would feel managing life after a stroke. I hope that I wouldn’t treat others badly and wish for them to also suffer. It seems that OP revealed a lot about himself in his own words that could explain why the Pro made a quick exit. Probably a very uncomfortable cuddle session.