@tacpmurg i almost spit my water out reading your reply 😭 it’s too early!
Yeah, I certainly hope the lashing out was an impulsive emotional reaction and not a regular habit. I know I personally would never wish my disabilities and health issues on others, no matter how angry or upset they make me 🤷🏻♀️ it is precisely because I know what my struggles are like and how hard it gets that I also know I don't want even the worst people to go through them. But empathy is a learned skill as well as a trait, so sometimes people just haven't figured it out. And sometimes people just have different ethics on how they treat others 🤷🏻♀️
I'm not surprised by the responses to what I originally commented, given my past interactions with the authors. But I learned a long time ago that I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and that's more than ok. Folks will just learn who is and is not compatible with their own needs and ethics.
Whoa, timeout. Dudes out here paying to rub feet?
Idk man. If I’m the one paying, I should be the one getting spoiled.
I actually missed the part where the OP says he cuddled with this person before successfully (I may have misread it first time through). so the OP had a successful session with the same cuddler he’s now calling a scammer. After scheduling another session and the pro cuddler shows up…..endures some foot lotion rubbing.... the pro cuddler makes an early exit and blocks him. he feel embarrased or angry, so he reacts by trying to name and OUT the person (against forum rules) and label that cuddler as a scammer to shame that person to the entire the community. no self-reflection, pondering if his action was misinterpreted or misguided, just raw anger at the cuddler with a sense of entitlement, even referring to people like her as a ‘beasts'. then anyone who questions the narrative in OP’s head - he wishes the universe direct physical harm and pain to that person. I don’t really see what more can be said. everyone can see what happened.
The first post by OP had no mention of lotion,foot,rub,tip,previous cuddle etc etc. Prior to when he mentioned all this, some Karen's started being Karen. The whole issue was this, jumping to conclusions, doubting if he's disabled or tagging him a creep.
even referring to people like her as a ‘beasts'.
Dude, he referred to himself as a beast sarcastically because of the speculative attacks.
And I'm sorry but to me this thread did.mostky read as attack on the OP .. wether it was meant to or not.
@MeltMyWay Absolutely
The guy had a stroke and a VERY common side effect of a stroke of the magnitude he had is becoming easily frustrated and angered because the section of the brain often damaged is the part that controls emotional regulation. So when a guy comes on here and says a pro took his money and left after he trusted her then is attacked with suspicion, innuendo, calling into question his disability and labeling him a creep, I can see someone in his position becoming upset. A few people mentioned empathy without modeling it themselves.
Thank goodness @stormydaycuddle is a mod because she pointed out the obvious—no one knows what happened. Furthermore, he brought up the foot rub and I can tell you from tons of cuddles over the years, that there are pros who ask for foot rubs because many of them are nurses, waitresses, etc whose feet take a beating. He may have been unaware of the site rules regarding this and did it. Point is, we don’t know who initiated the foot rub. And I know, ignorance of the law is no excuse, but unless you are a mod, then this is all gossip and speculation.
In the end, I would advise anybody who has been scammed to report it to the mods and avoid posting it in the forums because you will only be victimized a second time if you do.
Finally, this sums up what happened to the OP:
A man makes a post stating he was robbed. Several members with absolutely no evidence, villainize him. He’s attacked and called a poor crippled. He then states he massaged her feet and he’s further condemned when nowhere in the rules does it specifically state you can’t touch feet. A female member in the same thread states she partakes in foot rubs and no one says a word to her.
WOW!!!
The rules do state that you cant touch anywhere underwear would be, and you do wear socks under shoes. Maybe a stretch. Also, the most common fetish is feet. It's definitely a gray area that would need to be discussed, preferably prior to a session. And even if prior consent is given, it can be withdrawn, as again, people can get weird around feet. I think we'll never know both sides of this story as even if the pro finds it, she would have nothing to gain by participating.
If my underwear is near my shoes, I already violated cc rules, foot rub is least of concern.
I never really understood foot fetishes. I didn’t even know they were a thing until the Dan Schneider from Nickelodeon controversy blew up.
@disneysamurai Look up Jerry Brudos.
@sagantyson I think the OP took it WAY too personally, but it's something to consider when you hire a pro. No, you shouldn't have to, but I think expectations of humanity are higher with a pro because there's money involved and people expect that to be valued. I think the site should refund the OP and somehow penalize the "pro". I've never been a pro and wouldn't hire one. I've heard too much from both sides, so I can't relate to that. Wishing that people who don't have disabilities could experience such is just a way of expressing a need for compassion and understanding. I have sky high anxiety and I use the wrong words all the time because to a degree, my brain functionality kind of panics and crashes. Some beings can be really harsh and completely unforgiving of this out of ignorance. I don't think this should have been a forum post to begin with, but everyone's human and we all make poor judgement calls. Whomever monitors these posts needs to be more vigilant. This could have been taken down and the OP contacted directly about it instead of allowing "the community" to get involved via comments. Compassion needs to become a thing again. Perceptions of this site and it's purpose of terms used needs to be more plainly stated. There's become A LOT of gray area and it's creating drama that's not "comforting" at all.
Also, the most common fetish is feet.
Sorry for your experience. Upon reading it already sounded sketch but damn..
I'm still trying to figure out where anyone questioned his disability or called him crippled, besides OP calling himself that. Reading comprehension has gone down the drain 🤦🏻♀️
There's a lot of outrage happening for things that were never said or done. I encourage folks to go back and reread questionable comments out loud, see if they hit differently using different tones of voice or inflections. And then reflect if they are assigning a particular tone to text that might be different than what the author intended or what other readers are "hearing". It's easy to assume a particular tone to plain text without modifiers included, so as someone who struggles with this very issue I've found the reading aloud goes a long way. I also try to say exactly what I mean without leaving subtext to the reader - sure it means I can get long winded, but it also assures me that I said precisely what I meant as clearly as possible.
@TheFunCartel I agree 100%. The only thing I'll add is that apparently some people must get turned on from a foot massage. While that's never happened to me, obviously, I'm not everyone else. I've gotten professional foot massages and from ex-girlfriends. I don't ever recall suddenly getting "inspired". Different strokes for different folks...
Regarding the word "cripple", it is an old term. Someday calling someone disabled will go to the trash of history as it will be seen as condescending, just like cripple.
Years ago at work we were having a meeting which turned into a debate about what we should call our "customers". Had been called patients, but that term inferred "sickness". Probably discussed 4-5 options. In the end they came up with "consumers". To me that sounded terrible. So it goes...
@samson1060 .....that was funny whether intended or not!
@samson1060 Thanks for the giggle
“Are the forums dead” welp
Well this certainly encouraged me to reconsider the whole cuddling thing.
@thedrchanoman Well I wouldn’t reconsider the cuddling—but the posting? Definitely reconsider. Instant negativity thrown your way based on a hunch. So yeah I get why you would feel that way.
I understand suspicions but there are better ways of bringing them up—like posing questions to the OP.
Someone may just pretend disable, get others sympathy, to get his hidden agenda.
Earlier in the thread. The statement implied that the OP may be doing exactly this.
That is sick. If it turns out he was lying then that is sick. But he posted his pic and as far as I know he is telling the truth. So anyone that can’t figure out where his disability was questioned, I encourage you to read.
@TheFunCartel maybe it's just the phrasing, but I read that as people in general could pretend, due to the use of "someone". 🤷🏻♀️
Then why even bring it up?? It is, at the very least, an insinuation. Would you want people to insinuate that you were possibly a disabled fraud? Bottom line: this isn’t about you or how you read things, it was a lack of support, a lack of empathy, and a lack of the benefit of a doubt by several people. Not every suspicion needs to be voiced by everyone. None of us really knows what happened yet he was condemned by suppositions and projections. Not everyone is a creep and not everyone is an innocent, but we should tread lightly until we are certain. The truth of the matter is this really makes the site look hostile.
@cuddlefaery
this sounds like she needed to make a quick exit because she felt uncomfortable and didn't feel safe being honest with OP for one reason or another.
With the above comment, it sounds as if you are placing the blame on the OP
It's also suspect for someone who is disabled to play the "poor cripple" card for sympathy.
Then you said the above which sounds like you’re saying he played the poor cripple card.
That’s why so many people are saying what they are saying. Based on those two commments, do you think he was at fault and do you think he played the poor cripple card?
@TheFunCartel I find it interesting that most of the people siding with the OP are men. OP referred to himself in a negative way and cuddlefary just repeated what he said. He also wished her suffering. My mom used to do stuff like that - she was disabled but also had a personality disorder and bitter as hell. Not saying the OP has that but the foot rubbing thing is a red flag and why I could never be a pro. I have friends who are and while I respect them, they constantly have to reinforce boundaries that I would find exhausting. There are also sites out there where clients gossip and brag about “seducing” pros they meet on here. Perilous all around.
Aside from this being one of the most unhinged threads I’ve ever seen, some of ya’ll need to learn what platonic cuddling is. 🤷♀️
@Morpheus Quit it Morpheus. I said , foot rubs are nice, I’ve been offered foot rubs ( not even barefoot) and when I became aware that it was the person’s fetish I let them know it wasn’t ok., it disgusts me .. I report creepy losers too., , Morpheus.. You attack me constantly on these message boards. I once answered a question you asked about Pros that check ID ., you didn’t like my honest answer…License plates too, always with their permission. I have the right to ask for ID , if the person doesn’t want to show his ID 🪪, he is more than welcome to see another cuddler. I value my life/safety., I was still polite to you and congratulated you on being in remission , ( it’s not a secret, you talk about the cancer all the time) then you told me that was very rude of me to congratulate you and how insulted you were… really?? yawn 🥱 ..I’m an Oncology RN. I know all about it. I was being genuine and kind.., what is your problem? You attack me and others everywhere on the boards and every time I post a comment..there you are directing insults at me., just stop 🛑 please .. it makes no sense .,
I’m not understanding why this thread is still up ..? It should have ended when the OP told @cuddlefaery that he wishes she will have a stroke. How awful 😞 just not nice. This is miserable.
@SweetCuddler33 here is the comment about moderating this thread that @stormydaycuddle posted earlier:
Spoke to another moderator we’re gonna let it go unless the people attacked feel like reporting it. Specifically those people No over moderation.
@cuddlefaery it should have been taken down when he brought up the foot rub. I went to massage therapy school in my 20s and we were told to be careful about how we applied pressure to feet as some people experience arousal, which is why foot fetishes are so common. Many years later I learned it’s a neurological thing. The only person I allow to touch my feet is my massage therapist lol
No, you just don’t get, you don’t know “how” to read….ignore what I actually wrote… you just don’t “read” so good…. 😂