@Huggycatbear
I would beg to differ that cuddle pros aren't interested in making friends . Some of my favorite peeps from here are pros. Been to each other homes , met our families, even done trips and other things together with none of it being under the pretense of a client /pro context. That being said, I certainly recognize it's a business and an income source, so if I meet a bestie here who happens to be a cuddle pro I follow their lead and respect all boundaries.
@pmvines As I noted: there are exceptions. Not to glaze you, but you are also the exception.
Your personality, approach, tenure on this site for lack of better word lol, and location matters.
You have also been on this forum long enough to wear out the guilty-until-proven-innocent tag as a man.
Which I don't blame anyone for that other than the horrible behaviors of other men.
@Huggycatbear Well, I have met several women from this site who are ongoing friends (have professionally helped at least one with tax problems). Some are in other states, and when the opportunity arises to see each other, we do. And yes, have also met a number of pros who don't want to have ANY connection or contact outside of the site and scheduled cuddle sessions.
I do my best to respect each one's wishes if I know them.
@Jubal my situation could be more limited to the transient state of Las Vegas.
I still think many pros would not mix business with pleasure.
I do realize it's not always the same for everyone. I don't say these things to sound like I'm being insensitive so hopefully it's not taken that way. I just hear so many folks on here, not necessarily saying this is you btw, who spend so much time focusing on can't do instead of considering things they can do. Making connections and real friendships here isn't as hard as it seems or as hard as some folks build it in their heads to be, and I hope that when they hear about successes rather than disappointments here that it will be encouraging and hopefully less intimidating for them to reach out and make the effort.
I did not degrade dancers. That is not what I said. I objected to the image and comparison in this context because of what they imply in a space that repeatedly says it values platonic connection.
“Dancers are human beings who deserve respect” and “this comparison is demeaning in this space” are not contradictory statements.
If anything, the image itself is more insulting to dancers than my objection to it, because to use dancers as the punchline for something bought and consumed is disrespectful.
A space that claims to value platonic connection might want to pay attention when multiple women say a comparison feels objectifying and off-putting, rather than repeatedly trying to explain why women should be less bothered by it.
@pmvines You are indeed an excellent example of what it means to build trust in a space like this. Thoughtful, respectful, and willing to listen.
Least effective is when they pretend to have an illness just to try to get a discount. Least effective is when they write something insulting because they have nothing better to do with their day besides harass strangers who are more accomplished. Least effective is when they are trying to be a smarty pants and they don’t know how to spell . Least effective is when they are married and say they have to be “discrete/discreet”.., why?? It’s platonic..
Most effective is when they write a long thoughtful message instead of “wanna cuddle?” 🤮 or “here’s my #” .., Most effective is when they are kind, respectful and understanding that I am not obligated to see someone just because they are going to be paying me a fee.. I choose to cuddle with humble and kind human beings.., . I don’t need the money that bad to tolerate any bs.. Honest , Kind and Happy people are the best!
@mauvefox
Shucks right back at ya 😊
You get what you give , and too many people just aren't willing to give a whole lot here. Once someone said that the only reason I get cuddles is because I'm not too old yet (despite being 51 which is on the older side to many) and I'm somewhat attractive. Which was an insult because it completely discards the effort time and energy it takes to build connections trust and rapport with people. They are resentful that they don't have much luck but refuse to change anything and lack insight or self awareness. And instead of considering what might be different in how they go about things vs me, they dumb it down to looks and other superficial things that just don't really matter nearly as much as folks think they do.
Most effective is having a personality like @pmvines , just be a nice person! 😊
@mauvefox I'm not going to tell you to calm or slow down like you did me. I respect your POV and you should have that space even though I just saw it as a meme and laughed. At my corpo job we all share endless memes and emoji.
The image itself to me didn't bring dancers to mind. It is more about the service industry in general. Like Jubal noted.
Not misogyny. Not misandry.
Just because this certain community has mostly men as clients, and women as providers... I think there are too many generalizations on forum speak. Too many witch hunts on the forums.
I do think a lot of men feel unsafe to speak on this forum because people read so much into the words here and make it an indictment on who they are outside of this fourm.
"That's not what I meant" is never a good excuse. People who get upset by something get upset for a reason. Until you step into their shoes, you can't judge their reasons.
I chuckled when I saw that meme, the joke is on me though In that I have to pay for someone to hug me it seems. my mom would tell me thats crazy, big picture she isn't really wrong, end of the day its mostly me being lazy. The enthusiast route seems like it would be too much work, throw some money at it problem solved like pretty much everything these days. This is just me, I realize everyones situation is different.
@pmvines I don't think you are being insensitive. Quite opposite! I agree that it's possible to have friends here. Care to share your experiences on going from client to friend on CC?
I have a pro that I'm still friends with. I did overnights with her. But she mostly hosts and had to quit because she was moving in with her bf. So I got her a job at my workplace.
I have a barber that transcended from service to a friend. So, it happens! But it takes two. Time. Be human to each other. And clearing the social anxiety that prevented me from being myself created the confidence I needed.
Most of my friends are from work or acitvities without transaction however like hiking. And I think people should always understand:
Step carefully when mixing business with pleasure.