@Huggycatbear
I would beg to differ that cuddle pros aren't interested in making friends . Some of my favorite peeps from here are pros. Been to each other homes , met our families, even done trips and other things together with none of it being under the pretense of a client /pro context. That being said, I certainly recognize it's a business and an income source, so if I meet a bestie here who happens to be a cuddle pro I follow their lead and respect all boundaries.
@pmvines As I noted: there are exceptions. Not to glaze you, but you are also the exception.
Your personality, approach, tenure on this site for lack of better word lol, and location matters.
You have also been on this forum long enough to wear out the guilty-until-proven-innocent tag as a man.
Which I don't blame anyone for that other than the horrible behaviors of other men.
@Huggycatbear Well, I have met several women from this site who are ongoing friends (have professionally helped at least one with tax problems). Some are in other states, and when the opportunity arises to see each other, we do. And yes, have also met a number of pros who don't want to have ANY connection or contact outside of the site and scheduled cuddle sessions.
I do my best to respect each one's wishes if I know them.
@Jubal my situation could be more limited to the transient state of Las Vegas.
I still think many pros would not mix business with pleasure.
I do realize it's not always the same for everyone. I don't say these things to sound like I'm being insensitive so hopefully it's not taken that way. I just hear so many folks on here, not necessarily saying this is you btw, who spend so much time focusing on can't do instead of considering things they can do. Making connections and real friendships here isn't as hard as it seems or as hard as some folks build it in their heads to be, and I hope that when they hear about successes rather than disappointments here that it will be encouraging and hopefully less intimidating for them to reach out and make the effort.
I did not degrade dancers. That is not what I said. I objected to the image and comparison in this context because of what they imply in a space that repeatedly says it values platonic connection.
“Dancers are human beings who deserve respect” and “this comparison is demeaning in this space” are not contradictory statements.
If anything, the image itself is more insulting to dancers than my objection to it, because to use dancers as the punchline for something bought and consumed is disrespectful.
A space that claims to value platonic connection might want to pay attention when multiple women say a comparison feels objectifying and off-putting, rather than repeatedly trying to explain why women should be less bothered by it.
@pmvines You are indeed an excellent example of what it means to build trust in a space like this. Thoughtful, respectful, and willing to listen.
Least effective is when they pretend to have an illness just to try to get a discount. Least effective is when they write something insulting because they have nothing better to do with their day besides harass strangers who are more accomplished. Least effective is when they are trying to be a smarty pants and they don’t know how to spell . Least effective is when they are married and say they have to be “discrete/discreet”.., why?? It’s platonic..
Most effective is when they write a long thoughtful message instead of “wanna cuddle?” 🤮 or “here’s my #” .., Most effective is when they are kind, respectful and understanding that I am not obligated to see someone just because they are going to be paying me a fee.. I choose to cuddle with humble and kind human beings.., . I don’t need the money that bad to tolerate any bs.. Honest , Kind and Happy people are the best!
@mauvefox
Shucks right back at ya 😊
You get what you give , and too many people just aren't willing to give a whole lot here. Once someone said that the only reason I get cuddles is because I'm not too old yet (despite being 51 which is on the older side to many) and I'm somewhat attractive. Which was an insult because it completely discards the effort time and energy it takes to build connections trust and rapport with people. They are resentful that they don't have much luck but refuse to change anything and lack insight or self awareness. And instead of considering what might be different in how they go about things vs me, they dumb it down to looks and other superficial things that just don't really matter nearly as much as folks think they do.
Most effective is having a personality like @pmvines , just be a nice person! 😊
@mauvefox I'm not going to tell you to calm or slow down like you did me. I respect your POV and you should have that space even though I just saw it as a meme and laughed. At my corpo job we all share endless memes and emoji.
The image itself to me didn't bring dancers to mind. It is more about the service industry in general. Like Jubal noted.
Not misogyny. Not misandry.
Just because this certain community has mostly men as clients, and women as providers... I think there are too many generalizations on forum speak. Too many witch hunts on the forums.
I do think a lot of men feel unsafe to speak on this forum because people read so much into the words here and make it an indictment on who they are outside of this fourm.
"That's not what I meant" is never a good excuse. People who get upset by something get upset for a reason. Until you step into their shoes, you can't judge their reasons.
I chuckled when I saw that meme, the joke is on me though In that I have to pay for someone to hug me it seems. my mom would tell me thats crazy, big picture she isn't really wrong, end of the day its mostly me being lazy. The enthusiast route seems like it would be too much work, throw some money at it problem solved like pretty much everything these days. This is just me, I realize everyones situation is different.
@pmvines I don't think you are being insensitive. Quite opposite! I agree that it's possible to have friends here. Care to share your experiences on going from client to friend on CC?
I have a pro that I'm still friends with. I did overnights with her. But she mostly hosts and had to quit because she was moving in with her bf. So I got her a job at my workplace.
I have a barber that transcended from service to a friend. So, it happens! But it takes two. Time. Be human to each other. And clearing the social anxiety that prevented me from being myself created the confidence I needed.
Most of my friends are from work or acitvities without transaction however like hiking. And I think people should always understand:
Step carefully when mixing business with pleasure.
I’ve sent countless messages to people in my area and rarely get responses and if I do it’s not much more than a “thank you,” or, “you’re sweet” and then I never hear from them again. I understand women get 100s of messages so I could possibly just be buried in a sea of messages. Either way i was wondering if my first message could use a little bit more work or if I just need to keep playing the numbers game.
My intitation message goes something like
Hi 🤗 my name is Jeremiah, what’s yours?[because often people just have usernames instead of first names on profiles] [then I’ll directly comment on something I saw in their profile and point out similarities or things that stood out to me in their personality.] My favorite cuddles are where everything melts away and you can be safe and just be. What’s your favorite movie?[because often they have nothing in that section on their profile or they list genres instead of movies. And it gives me the opportunity to say, “that would be dope for us to watch while we cuddle!”] I wanted to welcome you to cuddlecomfort and hope you find what you’re looking for. Maybe we can meet up sometime. Feel free to check out the forum. It’s fun over there.
How are you doing and If you were a food what would you be and why? If I were a food, I might be lasagna with veggies added cause it tastes good, is comforting, warm, sticks to your gut and is good for you in a fun carb and protein loaded way.
Lastly, as a warning: there are people on this site who break the rules and try to get sexual stuff and will be creeps. Just report and block. All lot of good resources are in the forums so check em out.
So let me know if you have any tips or if I sound like a mod welcoming people and not an enthusiast and that’s why people don’t respond
I failed to add more than two options to the poll lol I meant to add more I haven’t done polls on here before
I also need advice on this. Someone on here said asking how they are is a bad thing, so I'm feeling lost on how to even greet someone. it's even harder to comment on someone's profile when it's empty. Personally I don't mention meeting up yet. I do need to chat and get to know them first. Maybe I'm wrong about that too?
I was looking around and saw that too @MattCuddleBear , I find it sad how, “How are you?” Is considered a pleasantry or just something you say to be nice. Like I genuinely want to know and I get that not everyone has the time or wants to put the energy into telling a stranger. And yeah it is definitely hard to comment on someone’s profile when it’s empty. Same; I wait so that we can both feel out whether we’d be a good match or not. As much as I want to cuddle, above that I want to make sure that the female enthusiasts that I want to meet with feel safe and comfortable without pressure.
@Jeremiaaahhh As this topic comes up fairly often, I'm merging this with a previous thread on the subject.
Thanks @BlueIris
Its hard I try to keep it simple and to the point and include my photo of how i look. usually I have great luck with that with pros, follow ups later are harder in my situation. It juat brings me to think ive had friends come and go from this profession/hobby/passion and losing contact makes me a little sad.
@Jeremiaaahhh OMG, that's way too long for an initiation message!
Good luck !
@Jeremiaaahhh
I only have my thoughts on the matter as an enthusiast, pros and enthusiasts might expect different things.
I'm sorry about the feedback of "how are you" i personally don't have any issue with it but if you've had multiple people tell you otherwise then leave it out I guess.
I think you are trying to cram a lot into an intro message. I love that you are connecting something to their profile, folks that fill them out put a lot of intention into it.
People don't use their first names for reasons, so while I think it's fine to include yours, just wait and see if they offer theres back. If they don't, that's not necessarily a problem, engage in the back and forth and eventually it will come out if things are going well. If you're heading toward meeting up, you can always ask then because I get that it's part of comfort and safety to know that.
I totally get why you're offering advice about the site, but you lose your personal message in the process. If they are new to the site, i just let them know they can absolutely ask any questions about the site if they have them, if they're vets, I assume they don't need that info.
and save the 'maybe we can meet up' for later on in the conversation.
@pmvines I respect where you are coming from, and I love that you keep the business aspect of it forefront because there are people here who don't.
But at the same time people are people, and some people here are really cool. And those people you get friendly with, especially if you are too far away to cuddle or maybe your schedules don't align.
I literally am going to be applying for a research position that will help with my degree, solely because someone on here was friendly and kind enough to pass some helpful information my way.
So, I would not say necessarily that professional cuddlers aren't interested in making friends, I would say we aren't here to make friends. But it happens and that's p cool, too.
Thank you @Krisha and @mauvefox
You’re totally right. It was way to long and up front and add like. It lost its point all the different side tangents.
Taking what you said in mind how about something closer to:
Hi my name is Jeremiah 🤗 [then I’ll directly comment on something I saw in their profile and point out similarities or things that stood out to me in their personality.](for example if I were talking to mauvefox) Hi HiddenDen47, I too love having silly, goofy conversations about anything and everything, as well as the deep conversations on the things that actually matter to us. And I can tell you care a lot and put a lot of effort into your about me.
My favorite cuddles are where everything melts away and you can be safe and just be. I hope you’re doing well.(if new) And if you have any questions about this site, feel free to ask! 😁
Let me know if you want to get to know me 😊
And for the people who don’t have any about me on their profile i can just say something like
Hi my name is Jeremiah 🤗
My favorite cuddles are where everything melts away and you can be safe and just be. I hope you’re doing well.
@Jeremiaaahhh Also is expect to not get a response from someone with no info. It’s usually people testing waters. You might, but don’t be upset if you don’t.
Much better, just put the "I hope you're doing well" at the beginning and 👌
Makes total sense @mauvefox Thank you for all the input you put into the forums 🤗
So just scoot that part at the very end after, “Let me know if you want to get know me 😊 “
Edit: forgot to ping @Krisha