I just like being close with someone. I like having my arms around someone and throughout the years with me having MS Multiple Sclerosis in some strange way which is difficult to explain and others don’t understand it, but when my body hurts having someone lie against me is very soothing and comforting both mentally and physically
In general I love people. Although not all people are easy to love, me being one of those challenging ones. In my work I deal with a lot of people and their relationships, sexuality, trauma, etc. It gets exhausting and sometimes I loose my life perspective.
Cuddling with someone who cares about me for a couple hours with no big expectations (except sometimes $$ for time) is freeing and deeply touching so much so that it’s hard to put words to it.
Along with such a connection to cuddle with someone warm and safe is also like getting a big hug from the universe saying it will be okay, you are okay, I’ve got you.
Albert Einstein was said to have proclaimed that the most important question any of us can ever ask ourselves is: “Is this universe a friendly place?” Cuddling gives me hope that it might be.
Well I have many things, I’ve made some amazing friendships though cuddling, I am someone who needs touch and hugged, it’s taught me the world as whole is not full of bad people, I love the feeling of just melting into someone. I love getting to know the people I meet. There are just so many reasons!
@wanacuddle85 Wow, that is beautiful!
I love melting into someone's arms and then time feeling like it's stopped.
@Huggycatbear I can’t honestly imagine my life without it, I really do love cuddling, in this community I feel like I’ve found my tribe finally
@wanacuddle85 Lol I understand. I am writing a sci fi /horror noir novel and didn't want to go the cliche romance route with 2 of my main characters. But will make them cuddle buddies!
They say write what you know, yeah? 🤗
I cuddle up because I enjoy being embraced with care. My mother passed away when I was 13 years old and I've been chasing a hug like hers for a long time. When I became a mom, I learned how to cuddle with my babies and I stopped chasing those old memories. Now that my kids are independent of me, I'm still interested in cuddling for the bonding experience ☺️
@ShortNPlush85 That's a very sweet story. Thanks for sharing it.
I felt safe when I tried cuddling with people in a cuddle party and want to help others feeling the same in their lives even though it will be for a certain time a day, but things I learned will help anyone with that. what pushes me harder to try more and more is when people trust someone who identify himself as a good person to cuddle with, then he turns to be an illusionist who doesn't give a shit about others time or emotions. I feel confident about myself and what I can do and which I will do to teach others what I know so others can do the same and build that eternal circuit.
I will keep saying that every time so maybe someone will take it seriously one day too which is:
"Safety is number one when it comes to cuddling, so it's not your jokes or how cute you are or even your appearance, so if you want people you cuddle with to be happy, let them feel safe and focus on that and emotional boundaries, and I will raise my hat for you"
Second messages and note to others:
"If it's your first time or tenth time cuddling with a cuddler, give their address to your family member or trusted person before going, and if you feel unsafe at anytime, please call police or leave place right away. Your safety is the main concern and your local police team is there waiting for you to call them"
Note: What I said before was based on real experiences of people tried cuddling with other people and had bad experiences regarding safety.
I’ve needed to cuddle for as long as I can remember.
Being in someone else’s arms, accepted for who you are, allowed to put the weight of the world down for an minute, and just exist for a moment in a place where you are free to just rest.
Maybe I’m just romanticizing it? I kinda don’t think so. If memory serves me correctly that is.
Adam_Prof, I’m glad to see your post here and I hope people will take it to heart.
I just signed up here, and was struck by the same concerns you went over.
My initial feeling was wanting to rush out and find someone to cuddle with. To help me with the ache I feel from all the oxidized stress I’ve been carrying.
I just got out of a long marriage with a woman who told me pretty early on (red flag - eyeroll) she didn’t want to hold hands because my hands made her hands sweat.
A few years later the same for cuddling. Then all pretense of physical contact went out the window.
Things weren’t right for a while before we called it, and now I struggle with needing/wanting connection because I’m almost afraid of it. If that makes sense.
My mid back started shaking the last time I hugged a woman that wasn’t family. I wasn’t sure if I was having some weird medical emergency or not lol
After being catfished on dating sites and going on a date with a really nice woman who I was really incompatible with, I’m putting the brakes on looking for love and now just want to explore life and meet people without the need for intense expectations.
Going back to the catfishing bit, and safety, I want to state that I’m 6’2” and 250ish pounds. But that doesn’t make me safe in the sense that I could be taken advantage of just as easily as anyone else.
I’ve received messages to meet in random places and bailed because it didn’t feel right, and I didn’t want to get robbed or worse.
Maybe a best practices list would be good here? (I bet that’s a thread I haven’t seen yet.) Like message with someone new until you feel comfortable talking on the phone and then meeting in a public place.
I used to do background checks on people and it’s not too difficult to find people online for free. A paid report is better if there is a gut feeling something isn’t right.
Then there’s mindset and improvised self defense if you get in over your head and find yourself in a bad place.
I could go on and on about this, because it’s important, but will exercise restraint here.
Please take your time and really check people out before you meet them for a cuddle session.
Cuddling, imo, is a defenses down scenario. It should be anyway. Finding you have mutual respect and boundaries with someone before cuddling is really important.
Apologies for the rambling novel haha, I should have found the newcomer thread that I’m sure is here somewhere.
Be safe out there and best cuddle wishes
Because it helps me process my emotions
I enjoy being held and holding others. I am very kinesthetic and it calms my system to have safe touch. I also agree with @OhioMike about meeting great people and taking time to connect first.
As someone else mentioned. I did not receive much affection as a child. My mom is an alcoholic and has been since before I was conceived. It took me into later adulthood to realize it but she still doesnt
Happiness chemicals!!! 🤗🤗🤗🫶
I had kind of a rough upbringing. Abusive father that beat my mother and later me. I spent most of my formative years with my grandmother (my dads mom) and I was rarely hugged/touched. I grew up with this disdain for human contact, like when i was in my mothers custody later i had a hard time with hugs or any human contact, i would always push away. I gotta wonder if my old mans upbringing was why he was such a broken person.
I learned quite a bit later in life that was what made me so sad/depressed all the time. Feels so good to hold and be held by someone.
It makes me feel appreciated, comforted, safe and relaxed. ❤️❤️
It relaxes me and gives me a person to be with privately.
@RedFox16 - Better living through chemistry.
@wilderdude Thank you for sharing that. I’m so sorry to hear your back story but it seems that as an adult you have decided to not let all that define you. Few things in life are better than a good woman next to you. That’s what I say.
I read your profile and see that you’re a truck driver, so that has to be even more isolating being on the road by yourself as a career and lifestyle.
Sadly, after reading your profile, I’m not sure if we could even be friends given the fact that I do like a little bit of lettuce on my burgers and I don’t mind a tiny bit of rice in my burritos, but let’s not dwell on the petty! Lol.
-Best wishes and light to you, my friend…
Marc
💯 to what @OhioMike and @pmvines and @mauvefox said in their first comments.
I have always been a hugger/snuggler/cuddler my whole life. I hug my family and male and female friends and I make sure to shake hands when I can when hugging is too personal.
I think physical connection is important (now more than ever in an increasingly digital and isolated world). It is healing, therapeutic, and comforting.
I both enjoy receiving it and especially love creating an environment where someone else can be relaxed, comfortable, and themselves.
@WestsideMarc thank you. seeing a therapist helped me unpack a lot of the baggage I was carrying around. Wish I had done it sooner but I was 40+ when I decided to take that step. Better late than never so they say.