Recording a cuddle ??!

WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
edited May 6 in General

So I was just reading a pro’s profile and she mentioned leaving phones in the other room to assure no recording. And I thought to myself wait a minute, is that really a thing??!!

I’ve heard the term “safe space” mentioned here in a million different PROfiles but if this really does goes on, what a horrible violation of trust that is (not to mention being potentially illegal).

Cuddling is a very intimate act, and often times one including vulnerability and pillow talk (by definition), and the cringesome thought of this makes me want to now disallow someone’s phone in my bedroom altogether or to simply never open up or share anything personal or private again.

Has anyone ever done this, experienced this or heard about recording being done???

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Comments

  • PurpleFountainsPurpleFountains

    I've never heard of that happening in a cuddle session... but for every weird thing imaginable there's always at least one person in the world who would do it - so it's certainly not impossible. I've never seen anyone mention this on their profile though, so it's possible that this specific cuddler had an issue with being secretly recorded (maybe this didn't happen in a cuddle session) and they are extra-aware of it.

    Personally, I don't think I would be terribly concerned myself but that doesn't mean it isn't something that's perfectly reasonable to be concerned about.

    My unsolicited advice - if you want to guard against this possible issue, I'd probably frame it as "we will put our phones in this box so we can have a fully distraction-free and relaxing session" rather than specifically call out the possibility of recording. It could be interpreted as accusatory or just be generally off-putting depending on who's reading it. If the phone is in a box it won't be able to record anyway, but now you've framed it as a positive benefit rather than an accusation.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    Laws vary by state. When it comes to audio recording, Indiana is a “one party consent” state so as long as at least one PARTICIPANT in the conversation consents to the recording, it is legal for them to record. However, I would consider it highly unethical to audio record a cuddle without the informed consent of everyone involved.

    Video recording laws also vary by state. In Indiana it is illegal to video record anyone, without their consent, in a bedroom, hotel room, dressing room, bathroom… or “anywhere they have a reasonable expectation of privacy.” It would be up to a jury to decide if a person has a reasonable expectation of privacy if they are cuddling on the couch in someone else’s home. Laws aside, I would consider it highly unethical to record someone during a cuddle without their informed consent.

    Regarding the capability of a phone to audio record, in a quiet house, just having the phone in the next room might not be enough to ensure you are not being audio recorded (if you could hear the phone playing music at a conversation volume from the next room, the phone could hear your conversation from the next room).

    Likewise, not all boxes are soundproof so simply putting a phone in “a box” doesn’t automatically guarantee you aren’t being audio recorded.

    Then there is the whole safety issue that some people would not be comfortable being separated from their phone during a cuddle because they want the ability to make a quick emergency call if something goes wrong. I don’t think there is a perfect solution but it is definitely something that should be discussed before hand to ensure everyone is on the same page regarding phone usage / storage / accessibility during a cuddle.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I wouldn’t be surprised at all in this age of content driven personal websites, YouTube and TikTok videos, and Only Fans pages. Recordings can now be edited beyond recognition with AI so I would not be shocked to discover some cuddles become content without anyone’s knowledge. A reasonable expectation of privacy is fast becoming an anachronism in the face of quantum leaps in technology. One can only be diligent, but if someone has Alexa or Nest in the room it is already listening 24/7.

  • sin67sin67

    Yep. Two of the pros on this cuddle site tried to record the cuddle session without informing the cuddler that the session of two hours would be recorded. Neither it was on their site or was discussed. I usually glance around the site where they host. Found the camera was recording. Request they shut it off. They did not shut off. Requested they switch the angle of the camera recoding. Still continued the session as a respect for her time. Paid n never engaged that Pro again. It’s a criminal offence in Canada to record in closed spaces with the consent. It’s a shame these adult pros would do stuff like this. Did not report them as this could payment could be rent for the month or allowance for the food. And yes there must be others recording. One of the pros that I saw told me that a man recorded her and threatened to expose her in the internet. She was traumatized for weeks till she called me and told me what happened! My advise to her was call the cops on them. They did stop after. But I guess the recording does go on. Some get noticed others don’t. You have to be careful specially if someone is hosting.

  • HuggycatbearHuggycatbear

    I hope not. Ironically if someone records a session for safety reasons--I would feel very unsafe.

    If they record to post it on social media or their adevrtisement in any way shape or form, that would be disgusting.

    Without consent, whatever the laws are, I see it as a violation of trust.

  • trysdettrysdet

    Please don't record ok thanks

  • Mike403Mike403

    How would you record the cuddle with your phone without making it obvious?

  • wanacuddle85wanacuddle85

    @sin67 Canada unfortunately has single party consent as well… I went through this with my ex when he was recording our bedroom and then treated to show everyone I knew including my job! 🤦‍♀️

  • tranquilhearttranquilheart

    @wanacuddle85 I’m so sorry that happened!

    I once went to a guy’s place and there were hidden cameras everywhere. Thankfully I’m paranoid and spotted them. When I asked, he said “it’s so I don’t get #Metoo’d”

    He couldn’t seem to comprehend that filming women without their consent is the kind of behavior that puts you in that situation.

  • wanacuddle85wanacuddle85

    Honestly he was one of the worst men of my life.. I don’t think anyone should be filming anyone without consent.. but that camera had been in my bedroom for probably eight months before I found it.. I have never felt so violated.

  • Dcuddler4UDcuddler4U
    edited May 6

    “Found the camera was recording. Request they shut it off. They did not shut off. Requested they switch the angle of the camera recoding. Still continued the session as a respect for her time.”
    OH F*** THAT!!!

    Someone tries to record me without my consent, I repeatedly ask them to stop recording and they refuse. I walkout and they don’t get paid.

  • Dcuddler4UDcuddler4U

    @wanacuddle85 so sorry that happened. Regardless of the laws that’s the type of behavior that should get him beaten in the street. And not for nothing, screw anyone who watched it and didn’t give him hell for being worlds biggest creep.

    @tranquilheart there aren’t enough facepalms in the world. Recording women without their consent IS something that would (rightfully) get a man “metoo’d”.

    It would be like a bar that says it’s worried about getting fined for selling liquor to kids… so it gives liquor to kids for free.

  • [Deleted User]dolcesol (deleted user)
    edited May 6

    My very first client was wearing the meta glasses… I didn’t see the light on, usually that indicates it’s recording (I might be wrong, I’m not 100% knowledgeable on meta glasses) so I didn’t say anything, he took them off for the cuddle session but I don’t know where he placed them. It left me feeling really unsettled. I don’t think I was thinking about the possibility of being recorded.

  • lovingspoonfulllovingspoonfull

    There are profiles on this site (at least in the past) that disclose cameras in the cuddle space as a safety measure.

    I can respect that upfront disclosure.

    The surreptitious recording? Not at all. That violates the whole concept of honesty and consent-based interaction.

    This is really just another example of transparent and open communication of needs and expectations to make sure you and your cuddler are on the same page.

    However I would not recommend anyone to put their phone in a box away from them because frankly the phone is your best way to reach out if you do need to call for help. Or someone needs to contact you because life happens.

    Note also that many women cuddlers use their phone for checkins with their safety person. They need their phones.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited May 6

    When I posted this topic last night I was originally thinking audio recording only (especially because I only host), but now that I read the contributions of others and see the conversation has expanded to hidden cameras, social media, meta glasses and even blackmailing I’m realizing the pitfalls are worse than I thought. I didn’t really think of it going that deep.

    Trust is such a vital component of this process.
    On so many levels. It’s so sad there’s so much potential darkness out there in the world, even here in THIS CC community.

    Having said that, I refuse to let that get in the way of my cuddles, but it sure makes ya think….

  • NefertitiCuddleNefertitiCuddle

    @lovingspoonfull Id agree. It wouldn’t be safe or responsible for either parties to have their phone taken away. Just place phones on a table or dnd

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited May 6

    @WestsideMarc - Everything you listed is just the “visible” risks, we haven’t even touched on the “invisible” (and potentially much more serious) risks.

    Imagine you booked a session on here with someone who turned out to be a SW. You didn’t know they were a SW and your cuddle was 100% platonic. A few weeks later she gets arrested for being a SW and the police decide to run her phone MAID through their subscription to FogDataScience.com

    Police then see EVERYWHERE her phone has been, minute by minute, for the past couple of months. They see a couple weeks earlier her phone went to a hotel where it spent 2 hours in a room with another phone. They then use FogDataScience to follow where that other phone went after she left and they follow it back to your house and discover your identity. A quick check of your identity on Flock Nova reveals to law enforcement that you paid her $250 via Venmo as soon as she arrived at the hotel.

    When Officer Friendly shows up on your doorstep, you can either explain to him how your time with a SW in a hotel, who you paid $250, was purely platonic. Or, you can plead the fifth and hire a lawyer to explain it for you. While you might talk your way out of getting arrested, but it may still cost you time, money, stress, and reputation.

  • CuddlesofcuddleCuddlesofcuddle

    ^^^ ding ding ding

    This is facts. Scary, crazy, chilling facts.

  • riz0707riz0707
    edited May 7

    No place is "safe", no person is "trustworthy". There was a pro (from a different site) who got arrested for blackmailing her clients with recorded sessions. Lot of people gave, without complaining to cops, because they were married.

  • cozycuddler4youcozycuddler4you

    @JohnR1972 that is a far-fetched extremely unlikely scenario. Cops need solid evidence to prove solicitation; engaging with someone who (unbeknownst to you) also engages in SW is not a crime. Law enforcement usually goes after folks in sting operations where they catch you in the act or explicitly soliciting sex in exchange for money. They don’t go through SW phone logs, unless perhaps said SW agrees to cooperate and discloses names and information. You are giving law enforcement too much credit - most agencies don’t have the time or bandwidth to do such labor intensive sleuthing for an offense (solicitation of SW) that is a misdemeanor, with only circumstantial evidence, at best.

  • mauvefoxmauvefox

    @cozycuddler4you
    too true!! law enforcement doesn't even have enough time to deal with the big stuff. that would be a lot of effort for a one off arrest.

    I have also been worried about the possibility of being recorded, especially if I am the second one to the location. I don't have anything to hide from anyone, nor anything to blackmail for 😁 but the notion that it could happen, even just for someone to get their jollies off from having it is super cringe and feels gross.

    Be careful out there folks. Cause creepers are gonna creep.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    Definitely be careful. A pro cuddler friend of mine has spotted cameras in bedrooms before. She takes a hoodie or jacket with her regardless of the weather and if she sees something she's not sure if it's recording, she just tosses it over it.

    People are modifying their meta glasses so you can't see the indicator light. Smh

    So yes everyone please be careful

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Cameras are everywhere now days. I had a routine colonoscopy last month and a week ago in my patient portal there were 11 pictures of everything from my colon at the entrance, to ascending, and descending. Kind of like little “Hello From Paradise” postcards.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @TheFunCartel lmao 🤣😂

  • cozycuddler4youcozycuddler4you

    @TheFunCartel ew. Agree with where you started going with that though, that everything we do is recorded. Palantir has data points on everything we do. Someone attempting to record a cuddle session is at the bottom of my list of concerns. Also would be super boring to watch. 🤷‍♀️

  • AntiqueWpatinaAntiqueWpatina

    I had a similar experience as FunCartel. I even got 3 x 5 glossies. I thought about sending them out framed as Christmas gifts to all the a--holes I know. :) (to my dr: what in the hell am I supposed to do with these!!!)

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    Not really far fetched at all. An annual subscription to FogDataScience can be purchased for as little as $4,000 per year depending on the size of the LE agency. Many agencies already have it for other purposes, such as geofencing crime scenes, and once they have it, it doesn’t cost anything to use it for lesser crimes as well.

    The scenario I described above would only take 10-15 minutes to search everywhere the SW’s phone has been and LEAs would not need to even physically have her phone or consent to run that search. The only question is how motivated a local LEA would be in pursuing her suspected clients. Granted, in most states they probably wouldn’t bother but I could easily see some Sheriff in Florida, especially in an election year, going to that extreme to win points with certain voters.

    Flock Nova is newer so fewer LEAs have it but those who do can pull up a TON of information on people with a single search based on nothing more than a phone number, email address, social security number, or license plate number (ANY of those pieces of info is enough to run the search - they don’t need all of them and they don’t need a warrant due to the third party doctrine).

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited May 7

    @AntiqueWpatina I definitely was not expecting pics, but it seems to be the new thing in healthcare. I already knew the results the day of the procedure, so when I received a notification 3 weeks later saying I had new test results in the portal I opened it and wowza! I can almost picture a Disney ride through the Caverns of Forgotten Meals.

    I love your framed gift idea to the arses in your life.

  • cozycuddler4youcozycuddler4you

    @JohnR1972 for sure could see Sheriff Grady Judd in central Florida doing this lol. He is ridiculous.

    Help me understand how engaging in platonic transactional cuddling with a cuddle pro - who also moonlights as a SW - could lead to wrongful conviction of the cuddle client for solicitation?

    Not trying to make this into a whole thing, also don't want folks who skim the forums to unnecessarily become paranoid about cuddling.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    Just to play a bit of devil's advocate: I know some women record for their own safety, in order to have evidence if things go sideways. In the current climate, there's women who will record during a public date for their safety, let alone meeting someone in a private space for something as intimate as cuddling. While sharing location with a trusted person can help for peace of mind, it's not going to act as evidence with law enforcement if they're needing to prove against a he-said-she-said situation.

    That being said, regardless of the local laws on one or two-party consent, the ethical thing to do is disclose prior to meeting in order for everyone to consent. Not to mention disclosing could potentially act as a deterrent to those who are planning to push boundaries or worse. I think of it as akin to putting up a "smile, you're on camera" sign - it's a potential barrier and so people intending harm will choose seemingly easier targets.

    I personally have not recorded any cuddle sessions, but if I were regularly having people over I would have a video doorbell at least and would keep my phone within easy reach. I can't fault women for trying to protect themselves in any way they can, but I do believe it needs to be done ethically.

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