On eBay you can see response rate for sellers so you can see how long they typically take to respond to messages.
I think it would be a useful feature to have on Cuddle Comfort for pro cuddlers?
So, something happens somewhat frequently that bruises my fragile male ego. :'(
I'll reach out to a cuddler and will later see that they visited my profile. However, sometimes they will never reply. Happens more with enthusiasts but also happens with pros. Now I know that life happens and we are all busy.
I even will write back "Cuddlers are a friendly lot. Feel free to let me know if you aren't interested." Oftentimes to no avail.
I would appreciate any reply. If anything, it would stop me from "spamming" them with another reach out at a later date.
I do realize that it works both ways. I can only imagine how often cuddlers get flooded with messages from someone to only have the person ghost them after a conversation has started.
That's all. Just venting. (Obviously it happened recently to me.)
Chickens do not have webbed feet or waterproof feathers
No response is a response. Period.
@consciousseeker and the pain is real. But yes... I hear you. Same thing happens on dating apps. People send a like and when you respond oftentimes no response.
My fragile ego doesn't handle it well.
Merging with Unanswered Messages With Pros in pro cuddling forum
There are times that I don’t answer back due to the nature of the original message. In most cases though not replying back is simply because a message got buried. That being said, I’m not sure what causes other professional cuddlers not to answer. Maybe some require things like a profile picture or a pic along with the first message?? I’m only guessing here! On another note, I have plenty of guys who reach out to me but then fail to respond when I message back. In some cases they reach back out again several months later
I answer all messages. We are all adults and should be able to handle rejection in whatever form, AND for whatever reason. If I don't feel comfortable or it's just not a good connection whatever it may be I do politely decline a session with said person. I also have a message on my profile, hopefully people still read those lol, stating that if I'm not answering you right away there is a reason however you will get a message back. Because I do realize in this type of setting IE online, messages can get buried in the inbox or unseen for whatever reason. ☺️
I figured that if somebody hasn’t responded in months, I’m not going to try it again. They have had their opportunity and obviously decided not to respond. Move on.
It just means they don't want your money. I would forget them and just move on
I've recently had an experience with a pro that was enthusiastic about meeting me, but ghosted/flaked on me the day of our appointment with no explanation as to why.
We spoke through the messaging on this site, then went on to texting each other to confirm the details of the appointment. We seemed to had hit it off pretty well, and like I said, she was looking forward to seeing me; said it multiple times through text in fact.
But for whatever reason, she completely flaked on our session. I texted her a few times asking if everything was ok; maybe she was stuck in traffic or something, but no response. Then the next day, I see that she signed on here, but still, no messages or anything mentioning why she flaked out.
It's very disappointing and disheartening to have to experience that, especially since she was my first cuddle session and that I just signed up on this site about a week ago. I had to leave a low score on her karma because of it. And she has great karma from other clients; I think I'm the first one to leave a bad one.
My thing is, if you can't make an appointment, just let me know so that we can either reschedule, or we can just go our separate ways and I'll find someone else to session with. You don't have to give me an explanation as to why you couldn't make it, just a simple "hey I'm sorry, could we reschedule? Something came up" would be fine.
And for those that's asking, yes, I sent her a photo of myself; I know my profile pic isn't me 😅
@DLouisSD sorry you went through that. I also value communication as an important lead-up to a successful cuddle session. If the pro really was a no show and she was supposed to be a guest to an agreed session, I would suggest making a report. Let the mods sort it out.
Question for the Professional Cuddlers Here
I’ve been wondering about something and would genuinely appreciate your perspective.
I always read profiles carefully and try to send thoughtful, personalized messages rather than a generic “Hi.” Even so, many of my messages never receive a reply.
I’m not complaining, and I understand that people are busy and receive many inquiries. I’m simply trying to understand what makes you decide to respond to one person and not another.
Is it the profile, the photos, the first message, the timing, or something else?
I’m always open to improving how I present myself and communicate. If anyone would be willing to offer honest, constructive feedback or take a quick look at my profile. I’d truly appreciate it.
@zephyrzen
I can’t speak for all pros but I will say that I answer every single message if it’s respectful and it’s more than just a “hey”. If I’m bored, sometimes I’ll even answer the “hey” ones, but not often. If you are sending a nice, personally written message to a pro, I can’t understand why you wouldn’t get a message back unless they’re busy 🤷🏻♀️ Your profile is very informative and gives a nice peek into who you are as a person. You seem very sweet and I get the vibe you would be a kind person to have a cuddle with.
You have a photo, you state your name, you say what makes a great cuddle for yourself, you mention what you can also offer in a cuddle which is a nice touch. The only thing I would pick out would be when you used the word “open minded”. That phrase often means “open to do more or do other things” and can sometimes have a sexual intent. I don’t think that’s what you were going for at all when you write it but that’s literally the only thing I could pick out of your whole profile that could give a different meaning.
You seem sweet. Not sure why a pro wouldn’t answer 🤷🏻♀️
I was a Male Pro cuddler for many years. I cuddled everyone. I didn’t base my replies on how someone looked, I based them them on how I could help them through their cuddle needs. I wanted my cuddles to be therapeutic and actually help those I cuddled. Age, sex, race, gender identity, looks, disabilities had nothing to do with it.
There’s no way to predict how another person (who is basically a stranger) is going to behave and we can’t control others whether it’s a stranger here or someone you’ve known for years. Why get so frustrated over things you don’t get to control. Best advice is to move on.
Looks like the consensus here is most Pros DON'T respond to low effort message and DO attempt their best to respond to thoughtfully written message when they can, even if they are declining the request without giving a reason. I thought it might be helpful to share which messages I do respond to.
Messages that I will prioritize to responding to include:
@great_pillow08 “Males are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid males will kill them” is 100% accurate. Unfortunately this is the reality for us women. If our intuition says run for hills, we are already past the mountains.
@consciousseeker "no response is a response." Exactly, it's completely valid to be disappointed and upset about it. Don't waste your energy ruminating just move on. You can never know what is going on or how they are feeling. There can be a bijillion reasons for the lack of the response and maybe none.
@Sheena123 "open-minded" I concur. This term is used in the Swinger & Lifestyle Community as a person or couple is willing to step outside traditional monogamy and standard sexual norms to explore non-monogamy, group sex, or varied erotic experiences. So I would have received it as seeking someone willing to explore outside of the Terms of Service in a sexual manner.
@CSnMUS87 say for example I message a pro on a Wednesday,if I don't hear a response by Saturday or Sunday then I'll do a followup..If a few more days go by and I still don't here a response then I go on to someone else.
Thank You @CSnMUS87 for bringing up this topic as a great way to focus on best practices for how we can all have more positive experiences here. Very grateful for all the time and effort so many women have put in to provide us guidance here, as well as moderator @CuddleDuncan with all the great links. 🙏 If many guys are like me, it isn't that we aren't kind or well-intentioned... it's just sometimes we have a combination of ignorance and ego that gets us in trouble, or just makes life more difficult (or maybe it's just me?!😜)? I've been here a month, I only look for women who are active on the site (been on in the last week), before I message anyone, I read their profile, as well as selected karma and forum comments. I open with a personal message of admiration, gratitude and curiosity. Regarding whatever they've offered in their posted content that I like, or that resonates, providing any of my info or interests they may have requested (🙏 8/4 post @TattooSqueeze) in their profile or forum comments, and asking good questions... If you want to gauge their interest and responsiveness less aggressively, visit their profile without sending a message, this provides them permission to send you a message proactively... I have read the CSA, follow the rules, and share enthusiastically about all the things I am growing to love about this culture of cuddling and platonic touch. I do not talk about booking a time (unless she requests it in her profile). I let them take the conversation there, or offer it myself only after several exchanged messages, if the vibe is good. I accept that the woman I am conversing with is going to have her own path forward focused on her own priorities that (hopefully) begins with assessing me in our dialogue. I try to set aside my own preconceptions, timelines, and stuff to show up for her, open and willing to let her guide and embrace her process, or if she prefers, let her relax and design a plan myself for however much time she'll give me. I make an effort to remain flexible and easy going, just grateful for the opportunity, focused on authentically being the best client I can be, for her. I have sent 15 messages to pros, and bless them all, 14 of them have responded so far. Often initially offering simple sincere gratitude I actually read their profile and responded thoughtfully to their requests... Sometimes we click, sometimes we don't, but to their credit, we always get to share a really nice conversation that allows me to keep learning. ✌️👍
I try to reply to everyone who reaches out to me. Unfortunately, there are guys who fail to send their pictures along with their message so that puts them at the back of the line because it also tells me that they did not read my profile, which leads me to believe that they have nefarious intentions. I love getting messages from everyone on here and someone's looks matter not to me at all. Its their intentions and actions that matter, their character and genuine intent. I love hearing others' life stories and sharing my own and generally just enjoy meeting people that I would most likely never meet outside of this site.
I have a system that I've developed. It's very simple. Here it is:
If I reach out to a pro and they don't answer, I send a follow-up two days later. If they don't answer that one, then I forget about it entirely.
You gotta remember that they absolutely don't have to talk to you. We're all grown adults here.
Now what pisses me off is when they agree to do a session, and you figure out the day, but when it comes to booking the time? THAT'S when they decide to ghost you. It happens allllllll the time. I absolutely hate it.
I have gone over and over in my head how to deal with this.
The first thing is, you don't want to be a buzzkill and get all upset about it with them. Because even though it's very rude on their part, if you call them out on it, they're not going to take it well. That's just how it goes with most people. It's sad.
So here's what I do: I send the proposal, along with my phone number, and I tell them to please accept the proposal and communicate all logistics within 1 hour.
If they can't do it in 1 hour, the session will be canceled, they'll never hear from me again, and I will not lose an ounce of sleep.
The best cuddlers get it done and in the books right away. There's no reason it should take longer than 1 hour. Or even 10 minutes.
"Well what if they're busy?"
Then they need to communicate that and give me a time of day where they're going to get back to me.
The ones who want to mess around, waste your time, hold up your schedule planning... Forget them.
Go with the ones that respect your time, and cherish them.
If you reach out politely and are having a pleasant back and forth chat, I’d say it’s perfectly fine to keep trying considering you’re messages are all polite, respectful, and trustworthy.
@StagSpirit I'm impressed that people get back to you that fast! I only check my email once or twice a day and sometimes I'm with a client for 4 hours+, or doing childcare etc.
what percentage of people have you found accept the booking and communicate logistics in one hour?
I prefer to schedule appointments at least 2-3 days in advance (understanding that might make me unusual?), but never expect a reply on CC, or set deadlines for CC replies. Once the appointment is booked, and contact info is exchanged, I reply as quickly as possible, and will call if I need an immediate response. The women I have interacted with usually request a confirmation within 24-48 hours of an appointment, and that has worked well for me. Personally, for me, if I was interacting with someone on CC who was expecting replies on the site within an hour, I would explain that, without msg notifications, it isn't something that I can promise, and move on. I appreciate that everyone has different expectations I might not always understand, and have discovered, that for me, keeping my expectations to a minimum helps me a lot... as it lets me remain open and willing to learn new things. But maybe the Tempe cuddle community is different?
Also if they come back to your profile once or twice in the midst of a great rapport, I would imagine your follow ups were read and I’d keep following up if they genuinely showed interest in meeting up.
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