Cuddle Withdrawals

Rob03Rob03
in General

Is this actually a thing? I’ve recently jumped into this community, and after having several cuddle sessions, I’m including each of the last two Fridays, I don’t have one scheduled today. I’m feeling anxious, agitated and distracted. Does anyone else get this way? I think I’m realizing even more how important human touch is to me, and how much it not being a regular part of life for me has affected me. Does this resonate with anyone else, this feeling of having withdrawals?

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Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited May 8

    @Rob03 I think it is very common at the beginning for a lot of people to experience a withdrawal and you are not the first person to voice this concern, so there is nothing wrong with you at all. For many people, having their cup filled with cuddles and hugs is an epiphany if you have never experienced hugs before on a consistent basis. Based on the experiences of others, the anxiety pains of withdrawal subside as physical touch becomes more normalized over time. In other words, this too shall pass.

  • ScottMeltsScottMelts

    Hey @Rob03 I believe it is! Pretty much anything that we need and/or crave but are missing and then have normalized...can be horribly missed. I feel withdrawal-like symptoms, too, from just a couple recent sessions. I tried cuddling through a different site a couple of years ago and the same thing happened.

    I think this just highlights how much healthy physical touch is essential to our lives and how, even getting just a little bit back into our lives, means a lot!

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc

    It happens all the time! So much to the point I wrote a short sappy poem about it that I made a part of my profile. (I apologize to the people that have already seen this before in other posts).

  • nickl81nickl81

    It is definitely a thing I feel too. Happens to me after every cuddle session (usually 2 days after). And yeah I would agree this seems to be a sign that I should have more hugs, touch, and cuddles in my life.

  • Dcuddler4UDcuddler4U
    edited May 8

    No it doesn't happen to me, and it doesn't sound like it happens to any of you either

    **Wait put down your pitch forks hear me out. **

    Withdrawal is when your body becomes dependent on a stimulant and then you remove that stimulant, and your body has to adjust to not having a stimulant he became dependent on. And that adjustment period is generally unpleasant. That is withdrawal.

    You are not experiencing cuddle withdrawal.
    You are experience cuddle deficiency.

    Human touch is like food and water, it is not a drug you take to get a high, it is a necessity you need to survive. Children in third world countries aren't suffering from "Food withdrawal" they're suffering from "hunger".

    We feel bad a few days after a cuddle session, not from withdrawal but because one or two cuddle sessions an every month or so is not the proper about of human touch to have in our lives. We are cuddle starved.

  • theHugAlchemisttheHugAlchemist

    @DCuddlerKing absolutely. thank you for that explanation. Cuddling is not an illicit drug. it's a met or unmet need (need in the sense of NVC needs and values).

  • wanacuddle85wanacuddle85

    It’s totally real. I find if I don’t cuddle at least once a week for a decent amount of time I’m very cranky. My depression starts creeping back in as well as my PTSD emotionally. I don’t do as well and I start shutting down and pulling away from my normal peeps

  • tranquilhearttranquilheart
    edited May 8

    @DCuddlerKing
    Actually withdrawals don’t just happen with illicit drugs. Many people get withdrawals when they quit sugar, caffeine, and working out.

    Withdrawals happen when your body has gotten used to something external increasing some sort of chemical in your body. Homeostasis is a mechanism with which your body makes adjustments to bring you back to normal.

    For example, alcohol increases gaba production, so over time your body decreases gaba production. When you quit alcohol, your body is unexpectedly short on gaba, causing withdrawals. Alcohol causes the most dangerous withdrawals, but anything else that changes neuro chemical production can cause withdrawals when you’re suddenly without it.

    Cuddling increases oxytocin production which lowers cortisol levels. If your body has gotten a consistent increase in oxytocin from cuddling and you cut it off, you’ll be low on oxytocin, causing and increase in cortisol, and therefore an increase in anxiety.

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08
    edited May 8

    Oh good golly! Some fellas “here” are HIGHLY addictive and it has NOTHING to do with looks or physical attraction!! Human energy I-S a thing” FOR SURE- I have a cuddle buddy who I’m still “on a high” from 4 days later!! 🤣🤣🥰

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @great_pillow08 Don’t get high on your supply!

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972
    edited May 9

    @Rob03
    I know exactly what you are talking about and I have experienced something very similar. I didn’t realize just how touch starved I was when I joined this site nearly 5 years ago.

    The flood of Oxytocin from my first couple of sessions felt great but REALLY messed me up for several months (a long painful story I won’t go into).

    The bottom line is cuddling ruined my ability to concentrate for a couple of months which was personally and professionally devastating due to my line of work at the time. After a few months I leveled out and “restored balance to The Force”. Once I leveled out, I was better than ever but it was a rough couple of months when I first joined.

  • Warm_and_CozyWarm_and_Cozy

    I can relate. I need regular touch, at least once a week at minimum, to not feel dysphoric

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I don’t experience cuddle withdrawal and I’m not touch starved either. I noticed early on that I would experience something that would appear to be cuddle withdrawal but what I was actually missing wasn’t the actual cuddle itself, I was missing the person that I cuddled with. When you spend an hour or two or more with someone in an intimate setting such as a cuddle session, I’m not going to say that you develop an attachment especially after just one session but emotionally, the lines can feel a bit blurred and the person you cuddle with can feel more like an actual friend than just someone you had a cuddle session with. Not long after I started cuddling on this site, I learned to detach myself from people and it’s actually benefitted me not just in my cuddle life but in life in general. I’m not speaking badly of anyone, it’s not anyone’s job on this site to maintain a relationship with anyone outside of a cuddle session but it is true common for some people to think about and miss someone after an intimate cuddle session and maybe they are misreading those emotions as cuddle withdrawal. I’m also not an expert, maybe what I just described is cuddle withdrawal 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • AutumnNicholeAutumnNichole

    This is the first time I am commenting on the forums after being on the site for 5 years, but ‘cuddle crash’, as I call it, is a genuine experience. This is something I talk to all my cuddle buddies about, and why I incorporate some self-soothing practices in my sessions. When we are touch starved, and get the hormonal rush (oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine), we experience a high, and what goes up must come down. When our hormones are leveling out after a cuddle, the drop in those feel-good hormones makes stress hormones feel even louder (cortisol & adrenaline). A healthier culture around touch and connection would stop this from happening, and hopefully, one day we will get there. Still, for now, I try to help my cuddle buddies find balance after a session - belly breathing, mindful self-touch, and a certain meditation that grounds you in your body- these self-soothing practices help your hormones regulate gradually so you don't experience the big crash. When we aren't aware of these hormonal pitfalls, we can easily fall into high anxiety, ruminating thoughts, and unhealthy attachments to our cuddle buddies.

    I crash all the time and use these practices every day to make sure I am regulated and safe for my sessions, and the people who see me who incorporate these practices outside of our sessions have told me they help significantly.

    Much love 💚🤗

  • trysdettrysdet

    It important

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug
    edited May 9

    Human bodies, in their incredible resiliency, can ease our discomfort in many extreme situations. But our bodies aren’t above inflicting pain, when that might motivate us to change our behavior. For example, if you go without food long enough, you’ll stop feeling hunger. But, if you finally break your fast with just a few morsels and then stop eating again, your body is very likely to “complain” by sending those hunger signals.

    I agree with the above comments. This isn’t withdrawal, per se. But the physiological responses (including emotional reactions) are common enough. So, it makes perfect sense to anticipate them and learn how to manage them well.

  • Rob03Rob03

    Thanks all for your comments. Seems the feelings are very common. I recognize the “withdrawal” term may not clinically correct, but was the best word I could find to articulate what I was feeling.

  • MindTherapyMindTherapy

    I feel this but it’s not really anxiety. I go away sometimes when I get busy with life. At first I’m ok but overtime I start feeling lonely like something’s missing. I’ve gotten use to cuddle buddies over the years and to tbh, I prefer cuddle buddies over actual relationships.

  • cuddlngisfuncuddlngisfun

    @MindTherapy my touch starvation of the last 10 years in a sexless marriage is doing a number on my self-worth. so it's Saturday night, date night. Me? I am so changed by this. And I need someone local to cuddle but would love chatting with a like-minded woman who knows or accepts that 'touch starvation' and 'touch hunger' are trying to take me down. I won't let it! thanks, love t

    (https://i.ibb.co/zHLwjfG0/no-background.png)

  • BearBear

    I call it skin hunger. It’s real.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I call it skin hunger.

  • DaveLaughsDaveLaughs

    I agree with @AutumnNichole

    Meditation and other mindful practices like yoga could work for self-regulation

    I don't think that human touch is a universal need, but I could be wrong

    I think that the desire for cuddling is a very niche "need" that only cuddlers would understand, but again, I might be wrong

    Indeed cuddle withdrawal is a real thing. I don't notice it when it happens, but I feel and experience it.

    ..,Oh, so that's what it was.

  • disneysamuraidisneysamurai

    Glad to see you chiming in @AutumnNichole!

    PS - book with her. She is amazing!

  • CuddlingforlifeCuddlingforlife

    @AutumnNichole I absolutely 💯 agree. The highs and the lows are all significant. My heart, no my soul aches for that "feel good " high of experiencing warm, gentle, protective arms to scoop me up deep into cuddle euphoria.

    I literally can feel my heart slowdown, my breathing normalize as my body's muscle memory kicks into all the good physiological reactions I need to simply "let go" . My mind floats. It's peaceful. I miss that feeling, I miss that kind of release, I miss that kind of safe place.

    You absolutely can experience cuddle withdrawal.

  • needahugtoadayneedahugtoaday

    Hi all, new to this site and new to the world of cuddles! I dont many and need to try this out.

  • AutumnNicholeAutumnNichole

    @disneysamurai thank you so much dearest 🤗💚🤗

  • zoeloveshugszoeloveshugs

    That’s a very human feeling! I think we all go through “ withdrawal “ feelings if not touched it’s just more sensitive or heightened with some people ( myself included). Daily doses of touch keep me grounded, positive and happy!! 😃

  • shecuddlessshecuddless

    Hiiii friend 🤍 @Rob03
    to answer your question… yes 😭 I think cuddle withdrawal is absolutely a thing. Imo Once cuddling becomes part of your routine, it’s almost like your mind starts looking forward to it without you even realizing.

    Like okay… I just gotta make it through the week and then I get to relax, be held, turn my brain off for a little while lol.

    I absolutely am someone who recognizes the feeling of withdrawals too … it’s almost like I just need a little “hit” of cuddles and being held  and then I can emotionally deal with the rest of the week that may not always be the most fun lol.

    So when that comfort suddenly isn’t there, everything feels a little louder and more exhausting than usual. Especially if the sessions were really good and you genuinely felt safe and comfortable with the person.

    So You’re definitely not alone for feeling that way at all. Happy cuddles 🫂

  • RunawaycuddlesRunawaycuddles

    Can confirm! Whatever ya wanna call it, a cuddle crash, cuddle withdrawals, skin hunger, it's all the same thing.
    Humans need each other! Not just because of the biological benefits of regular, safe, platonic touch, but also because of the benefits of the inherent intimacy of cuddling itself. 🤷🏼
    Sooooo many of us feel emotionally and physically disregulated in our daily lives, even when we're otherwise completely happy and content, simply because most of us have never known any different than a fundamentally touch-starved lifestyle. So, it's normalized, even when the negative effects of going without it are literally medically measureable .
    It's never been biologically healthy for us to go without close human contact like we do nowadays, and that's what makes spaces like CC so fantastic!

    Hell, it's why I prefer to build solid friendships with my cuddle partners that aren't limited to rigid, one hour meetings with no real conversation or platonic intimacy!
    Personally, it's a lot easier for me to build a healthy relationship with regular, safe, platonic touch without the crashes afterwards when my cuddle partner is someone who matches how often I actually want to cuddle, and who enjoys cuddling just as much as I do. Otherwise we'd just end up doing what's considered the most "polite" and that's just too transactional for my taste.

  • Rob03Rob03

    After two amazing cuddles late last week, the “withdrawal” feelings are heavy today. Missing the touch, the cozy warmth, the quiet relaxation.

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