@JargogleBearHug I'm definitely late on the train here, but for what it's worth I know who you are referring to (hence what I've seen from the other thread) and I can divulge on why you got left on read and eventually blocked.
She has a checklist of various expectations she would want out of her cuddle partner and it's pretty hefty, I will note some infractions you have posed on her checklist.
You've stated you are slightly over her age range. I wouldn't deem that as a bad infraction, but some people are pickier than others. Some might give you a chance and some will pass you by. Then I've noticed a few other infractions.
She has also stated her preference leans more towards slim/fit/average built cuddlers. I don't wanna be that guy, but I have to be Brooklyn honest with you. You are also out of her league in that grading as well. I don't make the rules fam, that is her preference. She has also mentioned in her profile she prefers a cuddler who doesn't have kids. I see you listed you have children, another infraction. Nothing wrong about having kids, I still hold on to the hope that I become a father one day. Then again I'm reviewing through her checklists and comparing them to your presentation on your profile and that's another strike (like 3 so far, at this rate you'd be taking the walk of shame back to the dugout 😂. Sorry dude, but I can't help it, it's my New York sense of humor)
This technically isn't in her checklist but I would also add this to the infraction list. You stated to be impaired due to having hip dysplasia and needing surgery done on that. Nothing wrong with that because you can't always have full control with your health, but I'd presume she'd want a more able bodied cuddler so that's another strike right there.
My final statement: You did nothing wrong nor is there anything wrong with your approach. Honestly, I usually prefer the short and sweet route but you were open and honest and that shouldn't be held against you. It was just a bad matchup off jump. If anything all she needed was 10 seconds, to read your profile and see your pictures and deemed you incompatible for her. It is what it is, it's a small L and I wouldn't get too worked up about it. Not gonna lie, I find her blocking you just from 2 messages immature in my personal opinion, but what's done is done. I wish you the best of luck with another cuddler and you will. Just charge this one to the game, there is other fish in the sea.
For me, it is clear that you did not care about her set boundaries (age). That should be enough for not wanting to do anything with you. "This was the line I drew, and you went over it". How can she trust you for not crossing another boundary later down the road (if she would have allowed you to continue anyway), maybe this time with much more consequences.
Make no mistake, in the past I have done the same. But personal growth and valuable insight into this allowed me to step up and explain it.
Maybe not paying much attention to exactly what was written in her profile and/or thinking he could change her mind anyway seems like the situation here. In fact I see a tendency to (what I consider) selfish needs happening here pretty often. We are all strangers here before meeting for a cuddle. Accept that you are not for everyone no matter how awesome you are. Empathy, awareness of someone else’s boundaries - actually internalizing the meaning of them- is a valuable talent.
This wild to me. I personally love when ppl are more open and transparent. Makes me feel more comfortable when choosing cuddle sessions. I’m also the kind of person that feels it’s rude to not even respond at all. Nobody deserves that and I would feel some type of way if ignored so I try my best not to do that to others. That being said, we all get busy or flooded with messages and sometimes it’s hard to keep up. But the blocking seems a bit extra IMO. Good luck to you!
Everyone has different preferences with regards to communication. As you see here, some were ok with the message, others weren't. Some are ok with blocking, others aren't. Here's my 2 cents:
You displayed lack of respect for her boundaries. She stated an age preference but you reached out anyway. Why should she care about your comfort or feelings when you didn't care about her boundary? If you disrespect her boundary for your convenience in this instance, how can she trust you will respect her boundary in a more vulnerable setting?
The first message was overwhelming. It shared way too many personal details of your life. Sexless marriage was a red flag for me. I didn't ask about nor consent to receive an unsolicited message about your sex life or lack there of.
Double texting. You didn't get the clue when she didn't respond so you decided to reach out ..again.
I agree with the analysis @BlueIris gave. This is a great opportunity to self reflect prior to moving forward. You are not entitled to anyone's time, attention, cuddles or their response.
Good luck!
@CaramelNotes I think that’s a great point. While a few didn’t seem to have a problem with the first message, in general, messaging a stranger about your sex life, or lack there of, is a bit odd at best and a violation of consent at its worst. A good rule of thumb is not to send messages about sex.
@mauvefox It would be a red flag for me. In most experiences, in my experience, when men send unsolicited messages that are sexual in nature....even if they aren't sexual (if that makes sense), it's the first step in pushing boundaries. In my experience, they keep pushing the boundary little by little. It's a hard line for me. When I see the behavior I immediately put my foot down, nip it in the bud, address it or block depending on the circumstances.
@CaramelNotes Agrees. Way more often than not it’s been a bad start.
Treat every gun like it’s loaded.
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@JargogleBearHug you did NOTHING wrong. You were polite and respectful. She is the problem, as she didn't have the mannerisms to acknowledge your kind message. I would pray for that type of person cause they need help. One can't go through life and behave like this and not deal with consequences.
A simple NO Thanks doesn't harm anyone. Lets be kind.
@JerseyBoy2024 I always reply, buuuuuut the fact remains no one is entitled to someone else's time or energy. As mentioned previously a few times, the cuddler in question had very clear standards/boundaries in her profile and the OP didn't respect them. I don't understand demanding respect if you aren't giving it. This isn't to attack the OP at all. I'm not saying he's a bad person or had any ill intentions. It's just honest feedback about why the cuddler likely blocked him.
Honestly I think you were coming in a bit hot with the first message and the second one could have been seen as being pushy . Often times blocking is more a defense than an offense. And not to sound uncaring to your plight because we all get hurt egos sometimes but bringing it to the forums along with the actual message etc is a little much. Nothing personal towards you I'm sure you're a decent human but there is something to be said for acceptance and moving on. It's not that deep. Good luck .
I dont know why people are overanalyzing this so much. She was new, so probably inundated with messages. The guy was out of her age range. She wasnt attracted to him (yes, that does matter). The initial message was a bit much (she may have been looking for confidence and strength in a cuddle partner). She was younger, and most younger people block instead of reply "no thanks", and it means the same thing. This isnt rude, it's reality. You asked for feedback, this is feedback. It's ok.