@introvme No problem!!
@NightShift39 ~ Yep, yep, yeppers!!
@quixotic_life experience is a hell of a teacher of course I'm also the guy who sees a woman that makes his brain SCREAM woah she will burn down your entire life man!!! and still goes over there "Hey you like like a whole mountain of bad decisions want to grab dinner?"
The fact that line has WORKED says about all ya need to know lmao
I have an easily given heart. I fall in love with everyone, in varying ways. I have a setting that can turn on or off sexuality, especially at my ripe old age, but the heart, that's another matter. It's stuck ON HIGH. That generally doesn't mean I want to DO anything more with them than love 'em, squeeze 'em, and giggle together (oh and tackle and wrestle with them), as I find DOING things with the great amounts of liking not so interesting anymore (DOING meaning engaging sexually, doing some kind of version of ohbabybabyyou'retheone ,etc.) I just like the loving.
Intimacy vs. Romance is something I've learned to discuss in depth with my cuddle partners. It allows us both to process the intense chemical reactions that are derived from cuddling.
Sensuality vs. Sexuality is also a topic I've learned to discuss too given cuddling centers on touch.
These conversations gives us both a sense of one and others expectations for our session and a clear understanding of what each others definition of "platonic" truly means.
That being said, I cuddle exclusively with pros and view cuddling as a therapeutic pursuit. Developing feelings for a therapist is so common that it's essentially defined as "transference."
Having the discussions I mentioned earlier provides both parties with the groundwork to address "feelings" or "transference" when they occur. And then decide on how to proceed moving forward whether choosing to continue the relationship or not.
Having experienced transference and researching the subject truly helped deal with the phenomenon. It's all too easy to fall for someone you are both intimate and vulnerable with.
At the end of the day its all about understanding each other's boundaries before jumping into a cuddle relationship.
@herby357 You've nailed it mate, knowing how to separate intimacy from romance is THE key skill
@littermate Yep I can love the hell out of someone and not be attracted at all. I can't say the reverse is true though lol
@NightShift39
@bekah_cuddles Even if the client keeps their boundaries, you are taking advantage of them if you continue offering sessions when they have developed feelings for you. I know some cuddle therapists do this. It is emotional exploitation and in my opinion is unethical. Psychotherapists are trained to deal with this without causing emotional harm to the client but cuddle therapists are not.
^based
Yeah, I'm going off script here.
Isn't liking your cuddle part of cuddling - at least within the emotional basis of cuddling? If you don't like the person you're cuddling with how do you exchange any emotional energy and nurturing? Liking someone opens the conduit that warm emotions flow through between people. There's probably some formal, metaphysical words that say that better.
@waynewv Friends at first meeting?
" now I do believe in TRUE friendship in a 1st. meeting. We keep in contact and hope to meet up again one day !!!!! And I would drive 12 hrs. for a cuddle with her !!!! "
Sounds to me like your friendship formed in the tons of emails y'all exchanged before meeting.
I'm all for people connecting on any level. As people you find enjoyable to know, as people you downright like, or as someone you really want in your life in a big way. Or whatever way two people connect. I'm all for it.
But also we have to recognize when liking and being liked isn't mutual. Chill out and let it go.
@quixotic_life "I've developed feelings of appreciation and affection, that go beyond surface, for the people I've cuddled with"
Are you saying that you "developed" a liking of - an appreciation for - as in past tense - ie over time?
But I'm betting you could have also had a fairly instant liking for someone, too. That appreciation for someone sparked almost right away, but that a deeper appreciation still, and always takes time. And your appreciation develops faster with some than with others.
Or maybe I'm just built that way.
@StLJim ~ Yes. Instant, past tense & ongoing affection for.
But I'm betting you could have also had a fairly instant liking for someone, too. That appreciation for someone sparked almost right away, but that a deeper appreciation still, and always takes time. And your appreciation develops faster with some than with others. Or maybe I'm just built that way.
That rings true for me too. It's all individual. But there are those who just seem to have a way of instantly taking root and forever-on the friendship bears delicious fruits.
Yes, yes I have. It did not end well, to say the least.
This happened to me recently with a cuddler. Our last session was a disaster when I admitted that I was obsessed with her and thought about her every day. She said she was uncomfortable and cut the session short. We were supposed to have a two hour session, but it only lasted one hour.
At the time, I told her it would be our last session due to the shame from the things I said and I was so upset by how uncomfortable I made her feel. I just wanted to go home quickly that day and isolate.
A few days later, I changed my mind and sent several messages apologising and asking for another chance. I just wanted to make things right between us. She didn't respond to my messages which I understand.
We had been cuddling together for seven months and those sessions brought me many happy memories. We had an amazing connection and shared a lot of personal things with each other.
Despite what happened between us, I will cherish the great times we shared during our sessions.
All I can do now is respect her boundaries and give her the space she wants.
I hope my experience I shared can help others who find themselves in a similar position.
@alvin152
This is unfortunate at best but really weird and cringe at worst.
Why on earth would you keep messaging her just because you changed your mind. That’s super cringe.
You said you wouldn’t reach out and she clearly agreed then you messaged not just once but several times. That’s now harassment.
This isn’t catching feelings. This is being obsessive and it’s scary.
I can’t imagine how that cuddler must have felt.
I caught feelings for someone before we even cuddled. But I didn't end up banned like OP 😝
@mauvefox Strange, you're reading things I don't.
Oooo weeeee so much to unpack here with some of these comments. As a pro I genuinely enjoy meeting new ppl and being some sort of comfort, selfishly I’ll admit that I love being able to do that for ppl. It makes ME feel good. We are all human, feelings will develop at some point, regardless. If you find yourself wanting more than what the arrangement is, share that with the person if appropriate and if it’s not reciprocal, CUT TIES AND KEEP IT MOVING. You’re only hurting yourself and making the Pro uncomfortable, I’m sure. And yes, speaking from experience… The intent is NEVER to hurt someone’s feelings but if I have to I will. Sometimes it’s the only to get them to let go. Like tough love I suppose 🤔 Especially when I am completely transparent. Boundaries are set for a reason and if that sounds harsh, sorry not sorry. Obsession turns into harassment and stalking REAL QUICK. Not a fun space to be in.
To answer the original question, no I never allow myself to catch “romantic” feelings. That not why I’m here.
It’s a horror movie for a reason. Lesson learned time to move on
@Krisha Then you didn’t read it.
His words: He self reported it as a disaster. He said he was obsessed. That’s not puppy love or oxytocin. That’s obsession. And he didn’t use it incorrectly as he went on to describe he thinks about her every day and every night. And then gives no indication of reciprocated feelings from her btw.
He then says she was so uncomfortable that she ended the session an hour early.
He says it was his idea that this would be their last cuddle session. But given what he’s describing that was probably going to be her call anyway.
He then says because he changed his mind, with no indication of what her response might have been to this, he went on to send, not one, but several messages begging for a second chance.
Maybe one message. Maybe. A message where you apologize for what happened and that’s it. But he sent several. And they included begging for another opportunity which her ending early and her ongoing silence had already answered. That’s harassment.
He then goes on to post it here publicly where she can see it (which is borderline an attempt to get around a block). Where he has no insight into how creepy these actions were. Which is frankly even scarier.
@mauvefox agreed completely. It was shocking to read.
If she felt uncomfortable and ended the session and didn't have a desire to continue to see you as a client again then you shouldn't have continued messaging her and trying to persuade her to after the fact knowing how she felt. That's a non adherence of boundaries and an inability to consider the feelings of another person.
No. I can appreciate them as people but it's not someone you are attached too. Same as with your hairdresser
@trysdet well i'm very attached to my hairdresser. i'll follow her anywhere. 🤣
Have you ever ended up liking or falling for a cuddle partner?
So far ALL of my cuddle buds failed to physically transform into a Werewolf before (and after😜) cuddle time....So, NAH! 😏😌
My feelings will remain platonic always towards cuddle buds 👍
@pmvines Howdy friend! 🤠
@trysdet 😁👍
@Katota
But we have seen Rob Zombie, Metallica and Dethclock together I thought that meant something to you !!! 😂
There’s a whole lot more to this I believe and he has started some other threads all about this same Pro. He also has contacted someone else (who he doesn’t know personally?) to talk to them about it. I really hope you can find some peace, closure @alvin152 and move on and maybe keep the rest to yourself? Best of luck.
@Carrie_Anne
I didn't know that but it tracks
Was your previous profile deleted or banned? U mentioned cuddling with that cuddler for 7 months... had to ask. Anywho. I hope you learned that to become obsessed is a 🚩 Don't do it. If it's easy for you to do you might wanna deactivate till you're able to enjoy a platonic cuddle without anything after that
@Cuddlesofcuddle good catch, i didn't even notice that one. now the whole thing is even more sketchy.
@pmvines Lol 😂
You know I DESIRE more than that. 😜😆
No Wolf. No Nonplatonic, friend. 🐺❤️😏