Do you have any simpler suggestions for fixing the problems I went over or do you just accept the current circumstances? I have my doubts that some of what I said can help as I pointed out at times, but I'm not entirely happy with certain things on the site.
+1 to WestsideMarc's hide button suggestion, I have the problem of revisiting people's accounts, sorry I just saw it
@mauvefox- Found it! Thanks!!
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@favabeans
Not sure if you're directing that at me or someone else, but honestly no I do not and it's because it's just not an issue for me so I don't have a dog in your fight. It's a free website and we can't all have our whimsies catered to or concessions made when we are annoyed about something. It doesn't mean you might not have valid gripes, but it's not like there are unlimited resources and a team of people working around the clock to implement everything that someone wants to change or tweak here. You may be overthinking and overcomplicating things and it's just not that deep at the end of the day to be that convoluted.
@favabeans I don’t know that there are solutions for it on the site. This is a problem that is way bigger than this site. It’s not like this is the only place women have these kinds of experiences with men. The immaturity and entitlement of so many men on here is the reason most of them are touch starved to begin with. (It’s not some big mystery)
The mute button would shut down anyone being able to find the new person. Not just problem people. And as soon as they turn it off they will be inundated. I have muted at different times and when I unmute the same thing happens and I’m not even “new” at that time. Just new to the new people.
There are a lot of people here who just behave badly. Both men and women. They need to learn how to behave better. And everyone else needs to get better at remembering this is the internet and there are very unsavory characters on here.
People need to REPORT. It’s the only way people will get kicked off. It still won’t solve all the problems but it’s what we’ve got.
@pmvines Yeah, I meant to reply to you. All I'm doing is making my concerns known and I don't expect anything to be changed just because I posted it on this forum. I don't think I'm overthinking much, if I were I probably would be making a bigger fuss about it.
@mauvefox That definitely is a reason men are touch starved, not even exclusively on this site, I just say "whatever it is" because I'm sure that's not the only reason. Muting definitely would make it harder to find enthusiast women, but as far as straight platonic cuddling goes, I personally think it would be better for women to have more control over who they get messages from rather than the guys given the current setup. In your case, why do you unmute if you're (I'm assuming) a female enthusiast? +1 on reporting unsavory characters and having all people learn to behave better on the internet.
I unmute because I want people to be able to see my profile. I’ve gotten pretty good at ignoring time wasters and for me personally I’m glad when someone shows up right away and shows their true colors and says something inappropriate. Cause then I get to report them.
If I’m muted then it’s on me to do 100% of the searching through hundreds of poorly written or empty profiles. Just click after click of a waste of time.
That's valid, I guess you just have to work around it if you want to have your profile visible but I wish there was something to reconcile both needs. I wonder how much it would help new users to not have to deal with a bombardment of messages.
Everyone should write a bio about themselves, instead of leaving it blank.
@favabeans unfortunately the only way to avoid it is to be muted forever.
And they can mute their account. I know you’re saying that could be a default. But it’s basically a social media site. Having people come in muted kind of goes against the brand of it.
@charkh1992 I agree, though as I mentioned I hope people give it some thought when making it.
@mauvefox I guess what I meant to say in my last message is when new users are greeted with tons of low effort messages, what usually happens? Do they just deal with it or do they get put off by it and promptly stop using the site? If it's the latter, even if it is is a bit off brand to mute by default, I think it might help to keep new users comfortable and more likely to continue using the site.
Different people do different things. Because not everyone has the same experience or reaction
You really are drawing this out aren't you ?.
I understand that, which is why I want to hear other people's experiences and thoughts. Are you having a bad day? I don't appreciate the tone you're responding to me with. If I want to talk about something and there are people willing to respond I should be able to.
Different people do different things. Some people stay some leave.
But like I said, this is not unique to this site. This is women’s daily experience. So they will respond to it probably similarly to how they do in their regular lives. Some people will leave.
But that’s true for a lot of reasons. Some men leave when they realize it’s not actually a sex site. Or that they are not just promised their ideal cuddle bud with no effort.
And I don’t think that will keep new users comfortable. As soon as they unmute they will have that experience. And to be muted means they’re scrolling through hundreds of low effort profiles. Which would be another turn off.
@mauvefox Yeah, unfortunately as we've gone over before, these are mainly problems that are out of the scope of this site. You're right that for as long as there are too many people that put less effort in, muting might not be the thing that perfectly accomodates new users. I don't really know of any better way to handle it. If anyone has any other thoughts about what might be able to be changed to help with this specific problem site wise, I'm all ears.
An option to exclude short profiles (say, less than 100 characters) from search results would be nice.
I'm all ears
That might be why you are not getting any takers. If you want someone to cuddle you, I would advise investing in some prosthetics.
Simply allow for a member (ie, female enthusiast) to increase her Block allowance, perhaps by request to an Admin or a Mod.
There's no reason the onus should be on a member who wishes to unmute her profile.
I second unlimited blocking. I think there are many women that would appreciate it.
I also think the hide button that’s been mentioned before would be great. That way when I know I’m not interested in a certain profile, I can hide them from my own search results. Doesn’t have to always be a block.
Do you all imagine the site limiting the number of profiles that a member can hide just like there is a limited number of blocks allowed?
I wish there wouldn’t be a limit on either. I’m not sure why there is a limit on the number of people you can block.
I’ve wondered about the reason for limiting the number of blocks? Is it a maintenance issue, some kind of memory or space issue (I clearly don’t know how to explain what I mean ). Or something that would affect the culture of the site as being open and welcoming to everyone?
I would like, in the section about kids, there be an option of "Has adult kids" I have kids, but they don't live with me, and that is an important distinction in my opinion. I know this is super minor compared to the other posts, but it bugged me and aside it I have been happy with everything else on the site. Thank you. - Soup
You know, you can always just simply inquire about their kids instead of splitting it all into categories
Putting "I have adult kids" on a bio is a solution.
I need to put “I am an adult kid” in my bio.
I have an adult kid but he acts like a child , so is there an option for chronologically old but immature AF?
There are so many variations of “I have kids”. What if your adult kids live with you. What if you have teens that are independent. What does it actually matter?You can either host of you can’t. You are available on certain days or you aren’t.
I put I have kids and later a potential cuddler accused me of dishonesty because I had never mentioned it. It’s in my bio. They just didn’t read it all. So it kind of doesn’t matter.
I would add to just be respectful to each other everywhere..not to much to ask right?
This was most likely said but it would be nice to have a friend request notification