Profile category Children: "Does not want children."

love4embracelove4embrace
in General

When looking at profiles on this site I sometimes see in the children category: "does not want children," or something to that effect. I'm just curious as to why people fill that category in that way. It just seems like something one would put on a dating website and not on a platonic cuddling website but maybe I'm missing something. I'm curious to hear thoughts on this. I'm not judging those who do this. I would just like to know why to maybe help me understand more or to see it in a different light.

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Comments

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    Wasn't this just discussed in a other thread?

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/comment/391786/#Comment_391786

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    I guess not many chimed in on that tangent, so perhaps more will do so in its own thread 🙂

  • love4embracelove4embrace

    Thanks, I didn't catch that thread. No always privy to what's already been discussed on here.

  • SpicyNSweetSpicyNSweet

    My two cents? There's different needs and priorities for parents vs non parents, and I think it's wise to have this info out there regarding this type of service/connection. I think it would assist people in connecting with others here who are the best fit for their lifestyle.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    One thing I forgot to bring up when I discussed it before: there's also the consideration of being in different life stages potentially causing incompatibility. Some folks with kids really just need/want support from other parents. Some child-free folks don't want to be constantly hearing about the other person's kids.

    It can sometimes be hard to feel fully seen and supported by people with wildly different priorities and life experiences. That's not to say everyone should only cuddle people exactly like them - more just recognition that people have different needs from the dynamic in the cuddle partnership.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    It matters if they are hosting…trust me you will want this information. I love kids but when they are outside the room of someone you just met and are cuddling it will make you feel something. For me it made the experience awkward. Especially when they need something from mom, because then you feel like an interloper in this kid’s life.

    This has only happened a couple of times and usually the child is at someone’s house, but when it does happen it colors the session in some way and there are a lot of pros who are single parents who may not be able to get a sitter. I appreciate the ones who are honest about the situation as we normally work something out, but the children prompt in the profile is a good first alert.

  • cfdannycfdanny

    What’s funny is that I have had this question come up naturally in sessions probably 4/5 times. It just comes up as you learn more about each other and discuss relationship status and other lifestyle questions. I also thought it was a funny question at first but now I see it as more of a harmless conversation piece for the more talkative sessions. But I couldn’t imagine cuddling while children were in the other room. That would definitely throw me off. I don’t mind a cuddler talking about their kids, sparingly and in a harmless manner. And I don’t mind talking about my interest in having kids in the future.

    But also, protect your children! Err on the side of caution. I’ve worked with children for many years, so I’m very sensitive about children’s safety.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    It’s the “Wanting children “ part that seems more like a relationship question on a dating site.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    I suppose it could also be argued that someone answering "would like children" could be seen for some as a yellow flag indication that someone is here with a goal of dating rather than making friends. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not enough to report for non-platonic, but could make a cuddler wary of romantic attachments developing.

  • love4embracelove4embrace

    @Carrie_Anne - yes that is what I was referring to, not them actually having children or not. I do think that’s important to know for the reasons mentioned on here as that could play a factor in the cuddle time…Had one experience with a cuddler where her kid constantly needed mom’s attention so I was lying on the bed waiting half hour to 45 minutes at a time for the cuddler to come back from her mom duties. Was not a very enjoyable experience and it cut our time short. Thankfully she deducted from cost of my session accordingly.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I want a goat . Can we add a farm animal status ?

  • love4embracelove4embrace

    @pmvines - I suppose that could affect cuddle time as well, lol!!😄

  • love4embracelove4embrace

    @cuddlerfaery- thanks for sharing your insights on this topic and helping to expand my thoughts on it.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited July 11

    It’s the “Wanting children “ part that seems more like a relationship

    Actually it sounds like a help wanted ad on Epstein’s island.

    Is Ghislaine still the head of HR?

  • pmvinespmvines

    @love4embrace

    Might also affect the smell lol

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @love4embrace I think the issue is more that children are asked about at all, not the specific answer, is it not?

    These are the options given...

    I'm going to choose the option which accurately describes my situation...which is "Doesn't want children".

    If I just put "Has no children", that would leave a lot of questions... Do I desperately want them but am unable to have them? Did I experience a miscarriage? Am I waiting for the right time?

    I like having the explicit answers, because they cut to the chase. I am happily child-free, and will stay that way.

    All that being said...I do think asking about kids sounds more like a dating site thing. But since it's there, I'm glad they have a variety of options to make my answer crystal clear.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug

  • love4embracelove4embrace

    @SunsetSnuggles- thanks, I guess I forgot all those options were even available in there for that topic, for one to choose from.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I think having the choice of “Other” under the children question would offer a good conversation starter and would allow me to talk about my fling with Lila from a galaxy far away. Did you know pregnancy lasts for 24 months in their world?

  • BellaAineBellaAine

    I don't like answering questions about whether I have kids or whether I plan to have them. As a mom, I’m very protective, and I’m not trying to invite the wrong kind of attention to my bio. My children are sacred to me, and talking about them is generally off the table.

    The few exceptions have been cuddlers who simply asked if I had kids because they wanted to order some food for them to take home after a session. Like pizzas or pastas, something that they would enjoy. They never asked personal questions or tried to learn details about my kiddos. They were just offering a thoughtful, heartwarming gesture. Those moments have been some of the kindest acts I’ve experienced from my cuddlebugs. I do end up treating them better during the session because they touch a soft spot in my heart. I'm smiling right now just thinking about it.

  • love4embracelove4embrace

    @BellaAine- That seems reasonable enough to me for you not wanting to share that info.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @TheFunCartel ... Was this person hosting a pro? I am completely blown away someone would have their children (regardless of ages) at a session especially for a paid pro when we hardly know our clients going into this.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    I had a client back when I first started who was a single parent and had childcare fall through. But rather than let me know and reschedule, I showed up to his hotel room and he had the kid with him.

    Don't get me wrong, I adore kids even though I don't have any of my own. I've worked with children extensively since I was 12. But there's kid-friendly spaces and times, and not kid-friendly ones. Bringing children to an adults-only space is a recipe for problems and discomfort for everyone involved.

    I ended up cancelling the session with refund, sat and talked with client & kid for a bit, then we rescheduled and I left. I don't think the client even knew what he was going to do with the kid while we cuddled - he didn't expect we'd all cuddle, didn't have a 2nd room or anything. At 7, the kid was too young to send off on their own for several hours. Having also worked in hotels a long time, I imagine the kid would have been made the front desk's problem, which is so very beyond their pay grade. Definitely would not be the first time a hotel guest treated the staff as free babysitting as if they aren't minimum wage employees who have their actual jobs to do 🤦🏻‍♀️

    We ended up cancelling again and then I stopped hearing from him. I wish him well, but walking into that hotel room and facing an unexpected kid was 😬

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited July 11

    @MeltMyWay Yes it was a pro. Her kid was adorable and I think his conversational skills eclipsed hers. But that wasn’t the point. I knew he was in the next room while I was there, so I felt a sense of guilt instead of relaxing. Guilt for feeling like I deserved to be able to relax since I was a paying client, and guilt that I was taking time away from mom that I could tell he cherished and needed.

    Edit: Oh and yes, she was hosting but did not tell me her child would be there. I did not leave her karma.

  • BellaAineBellaAine

    @love4embrace thank you. It's one of those questions I'd rather leave unanswered. I prefer to keep my personal life separate from my pro cuddler business.

    @MeltMyWay those were my same thoughts

    @cuddlefaery I would cancel too.

  • BellaAineBellaAine
    edited July 11

    .

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @BellaAine Oh I have raised kids myself and I agree. She was obviously struggling financially, but not telling me about her child being there was the aggravating factor. It was a lie of omission and it does put the child at unnecessary risk. I offered to host, but she wanted to host and I discovered why. She wasn’t long for the site.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @FunCartel_ I'm flabbergasted... I was a professional nanny for over 20 years and have been raising kids since I was a kid myself. I can not imagine. There are so many things that could of gone wrong in this scenario. She's lucky you are a good person . And a kind one to not just cancel without paying and leave. I get the struggle truly I do but that's wildly inappropriate. There are drop in day are centers all over the US. That would of been a fraction of whatever it is she charged for a cuddle.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited July 13

    Not to hijack your thread friend, but I OP’d this exact same topic a while back if you wanna see additional input on it.

    https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/14180/cc-s-profile-mention-of-children#latest

  • love4embracelove4embrace

    @WestsideMarc - 👍🏻

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