I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Why did the pelican cross the road?? Because the chicken owe him money. Lol
I like pelican jokes as long as they're brief.
Just when you thought vegetables don’t have phones, onion rings !
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?" The other says: "Whoa! A talking fish!"
What would happen if a piano fell on top of you? You'd b-flat.
How do I call a mushroom? On my celiular phone.
There's good news and bad news- what's the good news? "There IS baseball IN heaven" "Great , what's the bad news?" "You're pitching tomorrow!"
Definition: How Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner know the latest news.
Solution: They're always up to speed.
A seven-letter word for "What Steve Jobs didn't do at Apple."
Solution: WINDOWS
What does Batman put in his drinks?
Just-ice.
A seven-letter word for "...and 'aweigh' we go!"
Solution: ANCHORS
What happened when the French cheese processing plant collapsed?
There was debris everywhere!
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar. Batman follows them in.
my dad told me this joke
what pictures do dentists take?
tooth picks.
@TichantoP i think you have to spell it as da brie to make it make sense
Tony told me not to spell his name backwards. I said “ Y not?”
edit deleted, as I just realized I repeated a joke someone else posted
A mushroom walked into a bar.. the bartender kicked him out. The mushroom says why are you kicking me out??? I'm a fun...gi
I've just seen the Ante Post odds for Mays Kentucky Derby. Dusty Carpet is 11/4 Favourite, he's never been beaten.
I took my 2 nephews to the local park on Sat. I told them they could go anywhere but stay away from those trees over there.....They look shady
In America we call them elevators, Britains call them lifts...I guess we were raised differently
I once was flung out or a car my dad was driving. I survived. He's dead now. So, yeah. seatbelts.....
Modern version - why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 6 is afraid of commitment.
Why? ->
A pelican misjudged its own size and was trying to eat a full grown woman. She had no idea and was laughing hysterically at the pelicans antics. Lol
I have a terrible fear of tsunamis but thankfully it's not all the time. It just comes in waves.
If anyone has any Vegetable jokes, could they Lettuce know?
@Nifty74 I think I've got a pear somewhere.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!!