Platonic Touch Examples

JoyfulAbandonJoyfulAbandon
in General

Hello cuddlers!

A friend sent a version of this. I had some issues with it (formatting and some lack of clarity, among other things). So, this is my edited version. I thought it, or something like it, might be useful to share with people who wonder what platonic touch is and how it differs from sexual touch. Your thoughts are welcome! I'm sure it could be better and/or not everyone will agree on all of it.

Platonic Touch Examples

Quick Touches (under 5 seconds)
Hand squeeze while passing
Shoulder touch during conversation
Back pat when leaving
Knee touch while sitting together

Extended Touches (1–5 minutes)
Long, full body hug (standing)
Head/scalp massage
Foot rub
Hand-holding during a walk

Playful Touches (fun & light)
Gentle tickle fight
Wrestling/roughhousing
Dance together energetically (not slow)
High-five or fist bump (celebratory)

Nurturing Touches (caregiving)
Back scratch/rub
Hair stroking
Face massage/shoulder/neck massage
Holding while processing challenging emotions

Deep Connecting Touches (still with non-sexual intent)
Slow dancing cheek-to-cheek
Spooning/cuddling
Synchronized breathing while holding

Comments

  • GroundingLightGroundingLight

    Yikes!
    I will not be engaging in a “gentle tickle fight” or any form of wrestling. That’s wildly inappropriate for a cuddle sesh 🤣
    All the rest feels quite common and can be comfortably done in “platonic” form,
    We all know there’s a fine line with the massages.
    Personal preference, I don’t enjoy my face being touched tbh. But the hair 🙌🏽 I have a lot of it so yes please!

  • TenderEmbracesTenderEmbraces

    I have found tickling someone fun and therapeutic for me lololol and if your victim is a good sport for them ss well

  • Smiley_BountySmiley_Bounty

    Oh man! I haven’t had a tickle fight yet~ ⭐️looking forward to it, I also think it’s fun to hold onto each other and roll in the bed! (Helps to have a bigger bed!)

  • disneysamuraidisneysamurai

    @GroundingLight agreed!

  • DanAmplexusDanAmplexus

    @Smiley_Bounty rolling in the bed is fun! :D

  • SnuggleFroggieSnuggleFroggie

    I can't stand to be tickled. No pillow fights either. Someone has been watching too many Hollywood movies. Victim is not an appropriate term for a cuddler. Yeesh.

  • SpicyNSweetSpicyNSweet

    Tickle me and I'll swing on you😂🤷

  • VibeSeekerVibeSeeker

    Also handshake is platonic

  • CoachKenjiCoachKenji

    Personally, tickling is a tad too close to the line, for me :-) I think the whole 'playful' category would be with someone I'd cuddled with for a while! I really like the idea(s) of building up through: quick, extended, and nurturing touches.

  • BiggieHugzBiggieHugz

    You might wanna ask for permission before starting a tickle fight…

  • VibeSeekerVibeSeeker

    Gentle tickle in above board way might be for someone you have known for a while and you're both ok with it

  • MelNYCMelNYC

    Tickling, rough-housing, wrestling, and dancing are not part of cuddling and you should be asking your cuddler (and expecting a no) before any of this is initiated.

    Also, pros beware: tickling fetishes are a thing!

  • BohemianguyBohemianguy

    Awhile back I asked about foot rubs and got a lot of responses. 50% said it was too sexual! Even a.moderator replied it should be avoided. Smh, it's ok to cuddle someone's body but not rub their feet?
    I didn't notice any of your respondents even mention it.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    @Bohemianguy You have been advised both publicly and privately why foot rubs are inappropriate for this site. To come here now and pretend you still don't understand is disingenuous.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    I think we have to be careful about deciding something is inherently sexual just because it can be fetishized. An enormous range of completely ordinary things can be fetishes ... feet, hair, hands, certain clothing, body size, food, scents, voices, shoes, even things like sneezing ... Cuddling itself can absolutely be fetishized. That doesn’t make cuddling inherently sexual.
    For me, the difference is intent, consent and the dynamic between the two people. A shoulder rub, foot rub, playful tickling, dancing, rolling around laughing or being silly together can all be completely platonic when both people want it and understand the boundaries and have the intent to keep it platonic.
    Some of my favorite cuddle experiences have included laughing until our stomachs hurt, tickling, being playful and just genuinely enjoying each other’s company ... with absolutely ZERO sexual energy or sexual activity involved.

    Of course nobody should ever tickle, massage, wrestle with, or touch someone in a way they haven’t consented to. And everyone gets to have their own personal boundaries. But “someone somewhere has a fetish for that” can’t realistically be the standard for deciding whether an activity itself is sexual, because by that standard we’d run out of innocent things pretty damn quickly. 😂

    A site can certainly make whatever rules it chooses about what is allowed here and we should follow those rules. But in a forum conversation about platonic... I just think that’s different from saying those forms of touch are inherently sexual.

  • justinboston617justinboston617

    I love to be tickled and how it makes me laugh! Huge release of endorphins!

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    "tickle fight
    Wrestling/roughhousing"

    Both of these have been discussed numerous times as often being a kink.

    Same as with foot rubs, I ask myself if someone is specifically or continuously asking for it...why?

    Yes, they could happen innocently...a two-second tickle paired with a joke, or a shove as you scramble toward a mid-cuddle snack, or a kind offer when you said your socked feet hurt...

    But when someone is focused on making them happen, on purpose, on their terms, especially for any length of time, it is likely to be kink-driven.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • JediJJediJ
    edited September 12

    @MeltMyWay you nailed it! It's all about intent, consent, and comfort level between two parties. I wouldn't tickle nor ask to be tickled by any new friends. Light, clothed massage is very much in the same ballpark to me.
    For anyone that disagrees, we can talk semantics all day, but if that's all you're doing, don't bother.

  • JediJJediJ

    @SunsetSnuggles that's a fair and valid point.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @SunsetSnuggles I am in no way saying go against what the rules are. CC doesn't say dnt so these things because they are fetishes they are saying it could be fetishized. Some more commonly than others. But I am saying that in a discussion about platonic touch and what it actually is when fetishes are brought up into it .... literally anything can be made out to be a fetish. It could be a fetish for men to want to cuddle a plus-size woman does that mean it shouldn't be allowed for anyone to cuddle with me? And just because something can be a fetish does not mean it is always someone's fetish for everyone.

    I think there's confusion on what the definition of fetish actually means.

    "The important distinction is that something being capable of being fetishized does not make that thing inherently sexual. A foot rub can simply be a foot rub. Tickling can be playful. Cuddling can be affectionate or comforting. Playing with someone’s hair can be nurturing. Those things only become part of a fetish for a particular person when they carry that specific erotic significance for them."

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited September 12

    I think a point being missed is that while, yes, anything can be fetishized, there are particular fetishes that disproportionately show up here by people intent on pushing boundaries and breaking the rules.

    As @BlueIris said, it's disingenuous, or at best naive, to act like people don't specifically come to this site for sexual purposes and pose these very activities that fall in the gray area specifically in order to get sexual gratification and test their cuddler's boundaries. "Well, if they're ok with this activity I consider sexual, they'll likely be open to more". It's abusive and absolutely against the rules.

    We don't tell people to stop taking steps to protect themselves from predators just because it is the predator's fault and it's a systemic issue we as a society need to address. We want people to still take steps to protect themselves while we go after the predators and address the root causes.

    While I disagree with a lot of the ways this site treats sex-adjacent topics and its priorities as far as responsibility for safety - this is not one of them. We absolutely should continue to be wary of and interfere with the most common ruses and methods used by those who come here to intentionally break the rules. And I say this as someone who is heavily involved in sex and kink-positive spaces.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @MeltMyWay
    I wrote my post before reading yours; it was directed to the OP and the thread, not you or anyone specifically.

    I didn't mention rules or the word "fetish", and I believe you and I are saying the same thing, so I am a bit confused by your post. 🤔

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • BohemianguyBohemianguy
    edited September 13

    To blueiris the moderator. I was only commenting on the fact that I was told not to mention footrubs but he listed them as a plutonic activity with no reprisals.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @SunsetSnuggles the words kink and fetish are pretty interchangeable in this context. But my apologies I shouldn't of directed the comment at you i believe. I rewrite that so many times I think I changed what I was writing to you and then didn't erase the tag. Honestly don't even remeber now.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @MeltMyWay
    Totes good! 😊 I generally differentiate them as one being a preference and the other being a requirement.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • Lemon727Lemon727

    I'm new here as a pro...may I inquire, do the clients go over what is in their comfort range and /or expectations, before session?

  • TattooSqueezeTattooSqueeze
    edited 2:46PM

    @Lemon727 Great question! I find it best to communicate and ask for consent before touching anyone anywhere. Everyone has different boundaries and comfort levels. A hand squeeze or a knee touch may seem platonic and harmless to one person could totally triggering for someone else. I also think proximity and pressure also matter. Always ask for consent, regardless of which body part it is. Communicating before the session and making sure both parties are clear on expectations makes for a pleasant cuddle session.

  • Digitaldave75Digitaldave75

    I took a cuddle workshop / party. The facilitator talked a great deal about consent. You have your boundaries and you have your wants too. The central piece is sometimes what may be wanted and welcomed boundaries for you may not be the same for another person, especially in a close setting. My take away was consent and communication are important (along with check ins and more).

    I am still relatively new here. I found talking to those I have met about those things prior make for a great experience.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @Lemon727 to keep yourself safe you should be going over expectations prior to booking with a client

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