Running Out of Ideas? Here Are Some That Don’t Require Copying Anyone Else 😇

Comments

• MelNYC

  September 27 edited September 27

  I’m going to be candid because I’m finding the pattern of your posts increasingly uncomfortable, particularly the repeated suggestion that other professionals are taking things from you without any apparent substantiation.

  According to your profile, you joined this community in August. In less than two months, you’ve already made multiple posts about other professionals allegedly plagiarizing you, contacting your clients via your karma*, using concepts similar to yours, or otherwise behaving improperly toward you. And now there’s this post, framed as “helping,” but which comes across as rather thinly veiled condescension toward other professionals.

  (*You currently have four karma, two of which were posted within the last five days, well after some of these concerns were first raised.)

  Given that timeline, posts like this also come across as rather grandiose. You are extremely new to this community, yet you’re positioning yourself as an authority teaching other professionals how to write profiles, find original material, and develop their professional identities, while simultaneously suggesting that people are already “stealing” language and concepts from you.

  There’s nothing wrong with being new, being enthusiastic, or sharing something that has worked for you. But there’s a meaningful difference between “here’s something I found useful” and presenting your personal approach as a “secret” you’re generously giving away because others apparently need help developing original ideas, lest they “steal” yours.

  Actual plagiarism is obviously inappropriate. Directly soliciting another professional’s clients would also be inappropriate. But affection, warmth, nurturing, connection, holding hands, movies, conversation, and even things like being a “human weighted blanket” are incredibly common concepts in an industry literally centered around platonic affection. Similarity is not inherently evidence of copying.

  At a certain point, I think it’s reasonable to ask why someone who has been here for less than two months is monitoring other professionals closely enough to perceive this much misconduct while simultaneously assuming a mentorship role toward those same professionals.

  There is room for all of us here. Constantly scrutinizing other professionals’ profiles, language, reviews, and interactions for evidence that they may have borrowed something from you does not foster community. It fosters suspicion and territoriality over concepts that, in many cases, belong to none of us individually.

  Perhaps it’s worth spending a little less time monitoring what everyone else is doing and a little more time simply developing your own presence here.

  EDITING TO ADD: If any professionals want to use language on my profile to express your requirements for clients, you are very welcome to! I’m also 100% happy to share my session guide and booking sheet that I send to every client before meeting to firmly establish boundaries and make things as clear as possible. We aren’t gate-keeping safety here. Anyone can reach out to me anytime or pull whatever they need to from my profile as long as it accurately represents them ♥️
• AngelNextDoor

  September 27

  @MelNYC Thanks for sharing your perspective! I'm not going to respond to a personal assessment of me, because I don't think that's productive or what this discussion is for.

  This post is my attempt to take something that has been frustrating for me and turn it into something constructive for the community. Rather than continuing to focus on what people shouldn't do, I wanted to provide actual resources, prompts, and ideas that anyone who is struggling to find their own language can use to develop a profile, ad, or forum presence that feels authentic to them.

  You're absolutely entitled to feel that this resource isn't necessary or that concerns about plagiarism within the community are overstated. Other professionals have expressed to me, both publicly and privately, that they've experienced similar concerns and that it bothers them as well. Neither of us speaks for everybody.

  I'm choosing to make peace with my own frustration by putting something useful into the community instead. If someone gets even one idea from this thread that helps them better describe themselves in their own words, then I'm happy I made it.

  If you have a personal concern with me or with how I've conducted myself here, you're welcome to have that conversation with me privately. I don't think turning a resource thread into a public assessment of another member is particularly constructive, so I'm going to leave that part of the conversation there. 💜
• SnuggleBugg36

  September 27

  I think that since this is a cuddle platform, you will find some common denominators amongst most pros. There will be recurring descriptions as we are all here offering the same service lol
• AngelNextDoor

  September 27

  Just to gently redirect this thread back to its intended topic: this isn't actually a discussion about plagiarism. If you'd like to discuss plagiarism itself, I linked that existing discussion in my original post. 💜

  This thread is meant to be a resource for sharing ideas that can help people — especially newer members who may be struggling with what to write — find their own ways of describing themselves, their personalities, and what they bring to the cuddle community.

  So if anyone has their own tips, prompts, personality assessments, writing exercises, questions to ask yourself, or other tricks that have helped you figure out what makes you uniquely you, please feel free to add them! 🥰 I'd love for this thread to become a collection of ideas people can come back to when they're staring at an empty profile or wondering what the heck to post about. 😂
• MelNYC

  September 27 edited September 27

  @AngelNextDoor I think you’ve slightly mischaracterized my point. I explicitly said that actual plagiarism and directly soliciting another professional’s clients are inappropriate. My concern isn’t that plagiarism never happens or that resources aren’t useful. It’s the repeated public suggestion that other professionals are taking things specifically from you, often based on similarities involving extremely common concepts in this work.

  And respectfully, I find the distinction in your last paragraph rather interesting. You’ve repeatedly used this public forum to assess the conduct of other professionals, including suggesting plagiarism and inappropriate client solicitation. But when someone publicly questions your conduct in making those assertions, that suddenly becomes a “personal concern” that should be handled privately.

  I’m commenting on things you have chosen to post publicly, in the same public forum in which you posted them. I’m comfortable leaving it there as well.

  EDIT: You deleted your comment so I’m attaching it here to provide context.
• MelNYC

  September 27

  @SnuggleBugg36 Gonna steal your face and wear it as my face. Hope that’s okay ♥️♥️♥️
• AngelNextDoor

  September 27

  @MelNYC I don't believe I've mischaracterized your point, but I appreciate the clarification.

  I think there's an important distinction between discussing a specific practice, post, or community issue and making a broader assessment of another member's character and presence in the community. Your original comment went beyond disagreeing with my views on plagiarism or solicitation and included characterizations of me as “grandiose,” “condescending,” “monitoring other professionals,” and positioning myself as an authority, along with the suggestion that I should spend less time observing others and more time developing my own presence here.

  That's what I was referring to as a personal concern. I wasn't suggesting that nobody is permitted to disagree with something I've posted publicly. You're obviously welcome to disagree with me, and you've done so. I simply don't think a thread intended to share constructive writing resources benefits from turning into a broader public evaluation of me as a person or professional.

  If there is a specific statement I've made publicly that you believe is inaccurate or unfair, I'm always happy to be accountable for my actual words and discuss that specific statement. I don't think it's productive, however, to expand that into assumptions or characterizations about my overall behavior, motivations, or how I spend my time.

  You've said you're comfortable leaving it there, and so am I. I'd like to return this thread to its intended purpose now: sharing resources and ideas that may help members develop writing that feels authentic to them. Anyone who has additional prompts, exercises, assessments, or other suggestions is very welcome to contribute them. 💜
• cuddlefaery

  September 27

  There's also a common vocabulary and common themes in any niche community. The more someone gets involved in a small community, the more they'll start to sound like the rest because of the need for common language for communication.

  I do think plagiarism of profiles and overusing AI are issues for pros to consider. I don't think posting in the General forum as sort of an open letter as a voice of authority is necessarily going to be received the best. Using targeting messaging to the people it actually applies to will be more effective. So, for instance, posting this in the Pro Cuddling or even Pros Only forums since it applies specifically towards professional profiles. Or even better, messaging people directly if you think their profile is plagiarized.

  The difficulty is that unless you go through the hassle of becoming an official business doing trademarking and copyrighting processes, there's nothing legally wrong with what they're doing. You may be able to report them as in the TOS there's a section on having a bonafide unique profile. But anyone who has worked in a smaller industry will know that there is inherently going to be a lot of "borrowing" or flat out stealing of ideas unless you take the steps to protect your own intellectual property.

  It should also be noted that anything posted and shared on this site, whether in profiles, messages, or forums, should be considered public sharing and would generally fall under fair use unless you can prove in a court of law that your version came first and that you had measurable material losses as a result of the other pro using your ideas and words.
• AngelNextDoor

  September 27

  Just another gentle redirect, because I think the purpose of this thread may be getting a bit lost. 💜

  This isn't intended to be another discussion about what does or doesn't constitute plagiarism, copyright, fair use, common industry language, or when similarities become problematic. We already have a separate discussion about plagiarism, which I linked in my original post specifically so that conversation has somewhere to live.

  This thread is intended to be the constructive counterpart: what are some tools, prompts, exercises, assessments, or ideas that can help someone figure out what they personally want to say?

  I shared the Affection Scale because it helped me. I'd genuinely love to hear what has helped other people. Maybe it's a personality assessment, questions you ask yourself, feedback from clients, journaling, thinking about your hobbies or background, describing your actual ideal session, or something completely different.

  Pros and Enthusiasts are both welcome to contribute, because developing an authentic voice isn't limited to professional profiles or advertising.

  So if you have something that's helped you figure out how to describe you, please add it! That's the conversation I'd really love to build here. 🥰
• cuddlefaery

  September 27

  I think if the original intent of this post was to invite discussion on "how to write a profile", that should have been the title and the content of the opening message. Unfortunately, @AngelNextDoor , you're the one who set the tone and themes of the discussion from the get go. We won't always like how people respond to what we share online, but it's the nature of interacting with a larger, diverse group of people online that the dialogue will likely go sideways, on tangents, or focus on something we didn't even think of at the beginning.
• AngelNextDoor

  September 27

  My clarification was simply intended to provide context for where I hoped this particular discussion could go. The previous plagiarism discussion was linked in my original post for anyone interested in discussing that topic further, while my hope for this thread was to shift the focus toward constructive resources, ideas, and strategies people can use when developing their own profiles, ads, or forum content.

  Of course, everyone is welcome to engage with the discussion from their own perspective. I'm simply going to continue encouraging the constructive side of the conversation that I created the thread to explore. 🥰

  If anyone has additional resources, prompts, exercises, assessments, or other approaches that have helped them develop their own voice, I'd genuinely love to hear them. 💜
• MelNYC

  September 27

  @AngelNextDoor I don’t think anyone has taken issue with you sharing the Affection Scale or explaining how it helped you develop language that feels authentic to you. That could have stood perfectly well on its own as a useful resource.

  The issue is that you framed this post around other professionals allegedly taking language and concepts from you. You specifically introduced that concern here, despite now saying that discussion belongs elsewhere. It’s therefore not exactly a leap for someone to respond to that portion of what you wrote.

  More broadly, if you genuinely believe specific professionals are plagiarizing you, contacting your clients, or otherwise behaving inappropriately toward you, I think those concerns are better addressed directly with the people involved rather than repeatedly raised in a public forum through vague references to unnamed professionals. Doing the latter inevitably invites discussion about whether those allegations are fair or substantiated.

  You’re certainly free to share resources that have helped you, and I don’t think anyone has suggested otherwise. But if your intention is for those posts to feel constructive rather than condescending toward your peers, it may be worth considering how the framing comes across to the other professionals reading them.
• MeltMyWay

  September 27

  Perhaps this should be moved to the pros only forum
• TheFunCartel

  September 27

  I think @MeINYC has some very valid points and presented them without malice.
• mauvefox

  September 27 edited September 27

  This definitely came off as a post asking people not to plagiarize and instead describe themselves individually.

  They’re decent prompt questions, but not really a scale that helps individuals figure out where they land in any one area to help figure out what they want to say.

  I think the problem you’re having with the direction of comments is because you set it up this way. In the very header. You then referenced the plagiarism post. And I get that you think this would direct plagiarism conversation there, but it just feeds the feeling of your post.

  It was unnecessary and came off a little petty.

  Pretty sure that’s why the rest of the comments are going the way they’re going.

  Because posts have a habit of being transformed after the fact. I’m adding a pic of the header as I read it at the time of this comment. 🤷‍♀️

  
• MelNYC

  September 27 edited September 28

  .
• mauvefox

  September 27 edited September 27

  @MelNYC
  I try to do it whenever I’m referencing something specific now. Sometimes I forget. But it’s so frustrating when it happens.

  And aw! Whizzer is the Captain Chill for sure! 😁

  (Edited to fix a weird autocorrect)
• AL3XGage_06

  September 27

  Interesting that the OP uses a profile and their post here is 100% AI Generated according to GPTZero.

  Maybe someone needs to work on their own originality.
• MelNYC

  September 27 edited September 27

  Removing comment after considering validity of the above
• cuddlefaery

  September 27 edited September 27

  For what it's worth, you shouldn't trust those AI testers. I frequently come up as more AI than not even if I don't use one to polish my writing. People who are neurodivergent and/or who have spent a lot of time on Reddit (which was largely used for training the models) or other forums will tend to clock as AI.

  And I wouldn't trust em dashes. You may have noticed I tend to use regular dashes a lot - I used to use em dashes as that's the technically correct punctuation, but people kept accusing me of using AI so I started opting for the "wrong" alternative.

  Edit to add: and before em dashes, I used a looooooot of ellipses.... 😅
• MelNYC

  September 27

  @cuddlefaery Ah, ya know what, that’s a good point. Forgive me for blindly trusting it. I just ran my own profile through the detector and it says it’s 100% AI (and it definitely is 0% AI) so I retract my previous comment. The neurodivergent thing is interesting. Why do you think that is? Or has this been proven somewhere? I ask because I’m neurodivergent and always try to de-formalize my writing to sound more casual 😂
• cuddlefaery

  September 27

  People who are neurodivergent tend to use very precise, direct language that follows patterns because that's how our brains work. We also are often overly verbose because 1) we're frequently far more comfortable expressing ourselves via writing than face to face so it all comes out in a rush; or 2) we're used to having to over explain ourselves as people frequently misunderstand us, which leads to a lot of overly detailed writing with lots of asides and context clues (emojis, tone indicators, parenthetical explanations).

  Not to mention Reddit and other online communities in general is disproportionately neurodivergent compared to the general population because we embraced online communities early. We often struggle to find local community who gets us, so we turn to online to find belonging and validation.

  I mostly gave up trying to tone down myself online years ago. I spent so much of my life trying to make myself fit in, be quiet, take up less space, bother people less. When I finally found community online, long before I was diagnosed formerly, I gradually found my voice. I know that means sometimes I come off as too direct and like a know-it-all, but it gets exhausting always trying to make yourself smaller so that everyone else feels comfortable, ya know?

  I believe there has been some formal research on language usage and neurodivergence, but being such a small part of the population means the sample sizes are going to be smaller and largely anecdotal. I'll see if I can find some studies to share.
• cuddlefaery

  September 27 edited September 27

  Not a study, but an interesting essay on neurodivergent usage of em dashes and other "AI language".
  https://autside.substack.com/p/the-em-dash-is-not-ai-on-neurodivergent
• SunsetSnuggles

  September 27

  A lot of good points have been made, and the conversation remained surprisingly respectful... But this thread has gone woefully off-topic, and is starting to feel like a witch hunt. Even if the OP rubs someone wrong, I don't see a justification for mockery. Based on my own mental health conditions, I believe we are seeing multiple peoples' mental health conditions clash, here. Stepping back to cool off seems like it would help everyone.

  ~ Sunset Snuggles
• cuddlusr

  September 27 edited September 27

  Looks like some people here have way too much time at their disposal to argue and nitpick over things that don’t even concern them. Are there really no better things to do?
• AngelNextDoor

  September 28

  I've taken some time to read through everything here rather than continuing to respond in real time, and I wanted to come back now that I've had a chance to absorb both the criticism and the support. 💜

  First, to the people who understood what I was trying to do here, contributed thoughtfully, reached out privately, or simply offered a different perspective respectfully: thank you. I genuinely appreciate it.

  And I want to clarify something about the tone of my original post, because I think I've spent too much time trying to redirect the conversation instead of just saying this plainly:

  Yes, the title was pointed. 😂

  That was intentional.

  I was frustrated when I wrote this. I am still frustrated by plagiarism. I could have removed every trace of that frustration and wrapped the entire thing in unicorn farts and glitter, but that wouldn't have been particularly authentic either.

  What I chose to do instead was take something that has genuinely been frustrating me and try to turn it into something constructive.

  I could continue complaining about plagiarism. I could report things privately every time I believe something crosses a line. I could say nothing at all. Or I could share where my own ideas actually come from and give other people tools and prompts that might help them discover things about themselves that they can turn into writing that sounds uniquely like them.

  I chose the last one.

  That doesn't mean I believe every use of words like "comfort," "connection," "affection," "movies," "quiet," or any other common cuddle vocabulary is plagiarism. I don't. Originality doesn't require inventing a new language. That was actually one of the central points of my post.

  It means I think we all have enough individual personality, experiences, quirks, interests, preferences, and ways of connecting with people that none of us needs to use another person's writing as source material.

  And if the end result of this discussion is that somebody takes the Affection Scale, a personality assessment, a journaling prompt, their hobbies, their weird obsession, their client feedback, or something somebody else contributes here and learns something new about themselves in the process? That's a community win to me. That's what I hoped this thread could become.

  @AL3XGage_06 I also want to address AI because it was brought into this discussion, and there's some context about me that people here may not know.

  I have a disability, and AI is one of the accessibility tools I use to help me organize my thoughts, work through language, proofread, and communicate what is already in my head more effectively.

  I don't use AI to manufacture a personality for me or to scrape somebody else's writing and make it look like mine. I use it as a tool that helps me express my own thoughts, experiences, humor, personality, and ideas.

  I'm comfortable being transparent about that.

  There is an enormous difference, in my opinion, between using a tool to help you communicate your own ideas and feeding somebody else's work into a tool so that it can produce a variation of theirs. My entire point here has always been that the underlying material should come from you.

  One factual clarification as well, because this has now been discussed in the comments: I have not edited or deleted any of my comments in this thread - as you can easily see if you look for the "Edited" annotation - which none of my posts have in this thread. And I don't intend to. I'm comfortable leaving everything I originally wrote exactly where it is, including the parts that show I was frustrated when I wrote them.

  People are absolutely free to think the title was petty. They're free to dislike my approach. They're free to disagree with me about plagiarism, AI, forum etiquette, or anything else I've said here. I'm not asking for unanimous agreement, and I'm not interested in responding point-by-point to personal assessments of me.

  But I am also not going to apologize for caring about my own writing or for saying that plagiarism bothers me.

  What I would like to do is leave the off-topic derailment of the conversation into personal back-and-forth here and return to the useful part of the conversation.

  If you've ever found something that helped you understand yourself better or find your own voice — an assessment, a writing exercise, a weird question, client feedback, therapy, journaling, a hobby, whatever — please share it.

  I'd genuinely love to hear it.

  Because underneath all of the noise, the idea I started with hasn't changed:
  There are a million ways to find something interesting and original to say when the person you're writing about is actually you. 💜