Feeling defeated

MKultra79MKultra79
in General

Hi guys! Just needed to vent a little bit. I'm new to the cuddling community and I became a Pro in July. A quick backstory... I was diagnosed with colon cancer in October of 2023. I was already disabled from a previous, catastrophic car accident so I've been "surviving" on a disability income. I became a Pro because honestly, I was, and still am having a hard time paying for co-pays, medicine and scans. Also, anybody who has gone through a serious illness knows how lonely it can be. "Friends" disappear. Partners can't handle it and I basically have no family. I really needed the connection and also wanted to be a source of positivity for others. I was genuinely excited for this new journey and it started out really great. I've met A LOT of cool people and had some really rewarding sessions. But, the last 3 weeks have been almost nothing but blatant time wasters and men who just want sex. I know it's to be expected and I'm probably letting my depression get the best of me, but I am feeling really defeated. I appreciate the time and space to vent and would be very open to any advice. Thanks guys. Hope you all are having safe, fun sessions. 😊

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Comments

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited October 12

    I know of what you speak. It’s tough and you become vulnerable physically, mentally and spiritually. You are heard and I believe you will get through this based on your post. I can sense your hidden strength. It’s in there and you should let yourself know how strong you really are.

    As far as the bad actors—not your fault and there is nothing wrong with being blunt and putting “No sex, No advances, No kissing” in your profile. And always report them.

  • MKultra79MKultra79

    Thank you @TheFunCartel ! I really do appreciate the kind words and support!

  • MikeSugsMikeSugs

    For a second I almost thought this wouldn't be an anti-men post.

  • 7gem7gem

    Don't forget that fun is healing as is laughter, silliness and curiosity. Keep thinking positive and don't let the bastards get you down.

  • MKultra79MKultra79

    @MikeSugs so, you've reduced my entire post to an "anti-men" post because I expressed frustration with men wanting sex on a cuddling site? Ok. 🙄

  • sin67sin67

    That’s the best peace of mind we have in Canada. We fall sick and our government takes care of us 100%. Yes we do pay a bit but the peace it brings knowing that you don’t have to pay a single penny is…. PRICELESS!
    Regarding no cuddlers. Most in USA are seriously scared of loosing their jobs, so I guess they have tightened a bit in spending. The losers who ask for more than cuddling are just wasting your time, because even if you say yes, they won’t show up. If you live close by to the border, get your meds from Canada as they are about 40% cheaper or more.
    I hope you recover from the challenges you are going through personally. But, remember it’s always best to vent it n get it off your chest then to hold it in. Take care. In times like this your family is your fest bet.

  • MKultra79MKultra79

    Thank you @7gem ! You're absolutely right!

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited October 12

    @MikeSugs So you support not respecting boundaries and that no doesn’t really mean no? Because she was talking about men who believe that. You sound like you believe it too.

    @MKultra79 you are welcome. Don’t let the negative post distract you or get you down. Some people only think about themselves.

  • MKultra79MKultra79

    I appreciate that @sin67 ! Thank you!

  • sin67sin67

    No means no. But some cuddlers will always push their boundaries n cuddlers patience. It’s normal that 100% of the cuddlers will never be sane. There will always be challenging times. No has to be no. The only way yo get rid of the pest is report them.
    Surround yourself with positive energy n people. I volunteer a lot and make some sincere friends.

  • sin67sin67

    It’s Thanksgiving day in Canada so to all the Canadians happy Thanksgiving. May peace be with all of us n good health always.

  • Hugger4lifeHugger4life

    I hope you get better. The cancer wants you to feel defeated so don't let it win. Appreciate you venting to us and know they're people who are listening and care. Stay strong im sure you'll find a good cuddle buddy soon :)

  • MKultra79MKultra79

    Aww! @Hugger4life ! Thank you so much!! 😊

  • TD1964RGKTD1964RGK

    Hey. I feel for you. Sorry to hear about all you are going through. Especially sorry to hear about bad actors on this site. Hope you report them. If I’m in your area I’ll reach out. I’d like to cuddle and chat. Stay strong. The sun is always shining behind the clouds. 🙂

  • MKultra79MKultra79

    Thank you @TD1964RGK 😊

  • Nicegent2knowNicegent2know

    You don't need many friends in your life,as the friends that you do have are the best friends that anybody can have. Life can be lonely but you have had partners and friends that disappeared which is their loss,as they didn't deserve to be your friend before you had your disability and serious illness. Perhaps join a group that you can discuss your depression with,as you will get to meet people with similar issues that could give you support and you'd might just as well be a source of positivity for others within the group.

  • VibeSeekerVibeSeeker
    edited October 12

    " don't give up until you drink from the silver cup and ride that highway in the sky" America

  • QualTy1QualTy1

    @MKultra79 I felt much the same as you when I started here. I have been seeking disability since 2018, everything I turn around there's another problem. When I started cuddling I had such high blood and was so very excited because I felt like I was finally going to be able to do something that could really truly help people...for the most part I've been very fortunate and have met some really incredible men, but then I started to get men that were most definitely mostly interested in sexual things and it became very disheartening for me. I've met great guy, guys that have really honestly needed and wanted only platonic cuddling and interactions. I know with my whole heart that this is a service that is genuinely beneficial to many! I know that I will likely encounter every type of guy out here as will you if you keep up with it and I really hope you will. From my experience there have been tons more guys with best of intentions than the opposite so just don't let the bad ones ruin it for you because this is something that has the potential for mutually beneficial healing as well as a positive financial impact for you. Just remember, you're a warrior sister, be fearlessly YOU and don't let ANYONE steal your joy, love, peace and life!
    FYI I too, have no to little family or friends. No one really, my son is now an adult and in his own. No s/o anymore its too difficult, people say they "understand" but the truth is that no one will ever truly understand what you go through, feel or deal with on a daily basis until they go through it themselves.
    I stick to myself a lot because like you said bfs just cannot handle it, there's just too much they thought they could handle it until they saw the reality of it. Its not our fault, its not your fault and that's what makes us stronger than the ones who leave or cannot stay around. We fight the battles mostly in our own. I admire you and your struggle, your fight. I see you and applaud you. Some men on here really suck, but there are A LOT MORE that are genuine, truly kind and just exceptional. Stick with it, take breaks from here if you need to, but I know you got this 💯 you're beautiful and strong don't let anyone bring you down or break your spirit!!!
    If you ever want to chat feel free to DM me anytime! Jenn

  • MelNYCMelNYC

    @MikeSugs Not anti-men, but certainly anti-MikeSugs now. Really good of you to reveal that you’re someone none of us would ever want to meet. Huge time saver!

  • JessAZJessAZ

    @MelNYC agreed.

    I concur with what some of the women have said here. Don't let the bad actors dim your light. I have a similar story to you where I started at the end of July but have only been a pro in the last month. Some days and some weeks it really does truly feel like men are only on here to have sex or to be rude or use you.....or waste hours of your time and not be straightforward. I have already taken breaks, or muted myself on the site. But I'm thankful that I'm still here and that I've not let them get the best of me yet. I wouldn't have met the great people if I hadn't stuck with it!!

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @MikeSugs how do you get male bashing from her small complaint of clients wanting sex in a post mostly about other things. Unless that's just what you're here for and assume all men are like you, thankfully they are not. And thanks for making it easy for us all to take note both mental and on your profile and share your opinion (as well as profile) among those women that perhaps didn't get a chance to read it here Smh

    @MKultra79 I can relate to a lot of what you said ... feel free to reach out sometime if you'd like to chat. Sending hugs 🫂

  • GrimXLGrimXL

    It's better to have few real friends than many friends who go at the first problem. Quality over quantity!
    Cuddling heal some wound and other things. Maybe help it you against the cancer🙏
    Stay strong from Switzerland🇨🇭

  • ksb30ksb30

    Colon cancer is rough ive been there, hope youre pro cuddling gets better too!
    Life's rough in general lately gotta find those good spots

  • MikeSugsMikeSugs

    @MelNYC - Kay.

    @MeltMyWay - Not looking for sex at all; I've done one cuddle session and that was enough. All I was saying was that this was another post on CC about how the blanket term of "men" are bad and it wasn't just the three guys that OP had interactions with. I can't control how other people behave yet I need to be punished for their misbehavior, lol.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod
    edited October 13

    @MikeSugs Nowhere did the OP say or imply that men are bad. She merely shared her experience of the last few weeks. If you're feeling targeted by that, perhaps it's time to reflect on what it is about your own behavior which makes you feel that way. None of the other men who have commented here have agreed with you, so it must be a you problem.

  • MeltMyWayMeltMyWay

    @MikeSugs how exactly are you being punished? And who is doing the punishing?

  • MikeSugsMikeSugs

    @BlueIris - It's fine, I'm over it. Thanks for working in the Peace Corps btw.

  • AuthenticLucyAuthenticLucy

    @MKultra79 I recommend checking out

    https://www.joincrowdhealth.com/

    It's a fundraising site for the community to come together and help lesser individuals to pay for their medical bills and expenses. I came across it by accident last night, and thought this would be a good thing to recommend.

    Also, in addition to seeking Canada for medications, if you talk to your doctor, maybe they can write a prescription for you get your medications in mexico or china as well. Very caring doctors will do that for their patients esp if they cannot get access to the medical care they need.

  • MKultra79MKultra79

    Just wanted to thank all of you for your uplifting words, empathy and acceptance. With the exception of that one clown on here.

  • MikeSugsMikeSugs

    D: