I'm confused why you would bother cuddling a pro when you have a partner. Why not cuddle your partner? Especially when they're available to you. I'm single so I don't get it.
@oliviriso There are so many reasons, honestly. Sometimes a spouse is ill or battling a long-term disease, and physical touch or cuddling can actually be painful for them. Other times, someone may be going through something emotionally or mentally where they just don't want to be touched.
Some people simply aren't naturally affectionate or touchy-feely. Even when I worked as a nanny, I saw families where one parent wasn't particularly affectionate or cuddly, even with their own children. It doesn't mean they didn't love them. People just express love and affection differently.
Sometimes people fall in love and get married knowing their partner isn't a cuddly person. They think they'll be okay without that physical affection, but years down the road they realize how much they truly need and miss it. That doesn't mean they want to leave their marriage or love their spouse any less.
I have a client who actually sleeps in a separate bedroom from their spouse. They love each other, have a wonderful marriage, and are perfectly happy together. But their partner has absolutely no desire to cuddle, while my client really needs that physical connection. So they hire someone like me to fulfill that need.
There are also people whose partners have experienced trauma, struggle with sensory issues, are grieving, or are simply overwhelmed by life and don't have the emotional capacity for physical affection. Some couples have very different needs when it comes to touch, and neither person should have to force themselves to give or go without something that doesn't feel natural to them.
Being married doesn't automatically mean every emotional or physical need is going to be met by one person. And seeking out safe, consensual, platonic affection doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with the marriage.
Sometimes it's actually a way for two people to respect each other's boundaries while still honoring their own needs.
Another example ... When I was younger I dated a massage therapist, yet I went to someone else for massage. This was because without fail 10 minutes into a massage the massage ended and moved into other things ... But I still needed a massage.. so I started going to someone else. I've talked to women who deal.with the same kinda thing with cuddling. So having an outlet of platonic cuddling when your partner can't commit to an hour of cuddling can be a nice way to still get that need met.
@MeltMyWay Thank you, that was really eloquently put. Couldn't have said it better myself!
@MeltMyWay beautifully stated and I agree!
I thought I could handle it but it exploded on me. Not a good experience so, no. It makes me uncomfortable and I would not consider cuddling a married person even if the spouse is “cool” with it.
Absolutely not a dealbreaker and I don’t think it’s fair to characterize all married men as seeking non-platonic cuddles (as I’ve seen mentioned above a few times). I have several married clients; they come to me for various reasons and not a single one of them have even remotely pushed a boundary or tried to make things sexual. I’d actually argue that they are the most respectful clients I have.
I meet with married clients (of any gender) because I am very clear that my sessions are strictly platonic and that is not up for debate. Many have thanked me for being so clear because it made them feel safe enough to book with me without worrying about any potential blurred lines. If they’re seeking something beyond that, they know before we ever meet that it’s not on the table, so it would be a waste of their time and money. It hasn’t happened yet.
Marriage and relationships are tough and touch is a crucial part of living a healthy life. I don’t judge anyone for finding healthy ways to get those touch needs met if they are not available within their marriage for whatever reason. And there are MANY reasons they may not to be getting what they need. It’s none of my business. My job is to help others feel safe and comfortable and cared for. Someone’s marital status does not change that for me.
@LizSunshine I love and agree with everything you wrote! I mostly appreciate your nonjudgemental approach.
I don't ask any questions about my clients' relationship status because it's non of my business and I never want to make someone feel like they have to explain to me. You never know what someone might be going through and a safe space cuddle could literally restore someone's soul. I was married once and it was the loneliest time of my life; I remember thinking I wish I could just hug someone and not have to explain what I was going through.
@oliviriso @MeltMyWay
There's another reason too.
Sometimes it's not that they're going through something emotionally or mentally and that they don't want to be touched.
Sometimes it's more simple than that.
It may not be that they don't want to be touched in general, but that they SPECIFICALLY don't want to be touched by their partner, for a myriad of potential reasons.
It could be as simple as they fell out of love with or lost attraction to their partner and no longer feel the desire to engage in physical affection of any form with their partner, platonic or otherwise.
Sometimes both fall out of love with each other and feel no affection towards each other. But far more often, it's one that loses affection for their partner while the other partner still retains said affection.
The phenomenon of putatively romantic partners that are in fact not romantic in any way, shape, or form, and are living as roommates, is a sadly common phenomenon. Worse yet, one-sided relationships are more common than relationships that mutually dissolve.
I'm sure there are dozens and dozens of reasons and as far as I'm concerned all are valid.
@random_guy80 No, it isn't a deal breaker. While I would hopefully encourage my clients to eventually rekindle that physical touch with their partners--even if it meant I would be losing clients--i understand and do believe that sometimes our partners cannot meet all of our needs all the time.
And as long as the cuddle session is strictly platonic, I dont have a problem with it.
Ultimately, if it ever becomes beyond that, that's when I would be iffy. But this would be coming from clients who sometimes seek for "add ons" or whatever. Obviously, this is a violation of the CC community, but personally, since I don't offer anything outside of platonic cuddle sessions or social companionship...i wouldn't be caught in this mess.
Regardless, I hold no judgment to those who fall under that category.
@JohnnyQuest303 if you ask a relative, they will most likely have conservative values and find anything outside of anything a taboo subject.
I also think this ultimately depends on how you view relationships in general. There is no right or wrong answer, and it ultimately depends on the person's boundaries.
I also have had clients who have told me they gained permission from their spouses or partners about platonic cuddling. Whether or not their word is true...there are many different scenarios that require physical touch to be met.
Just like how massages and paying for them were once a taboo subject back in the day, it is now normalized to get a massage and people wouldnt think much of it.
You also have to be culturally sensitive too. There are plenty of cultures that don't participate in physical touch, moreso even if they are longer term relationships.
There are also dynamics where physical touch isnt accessible to some people because they have become a caregiver to their spouses...which is so incredibly important to consider.
Everyone is entitled to have physical touch...whether it is a hug, a cuddle, hand holding, or leaning on someones shoulders etc.
Ultimately it depends on what you define a platonic cuddle is...vs a romantic cuddle which is totally a different ballpark.
It's not a dealbreaker for me. It makes me more cautious though. My best cuddling experience was with a married cuddler whose spouse recommended this site to them. Touch without judgement is a basic, human need. All I ask is that it's platonic.
If I was married then I would not. But it's an individual choice
I think it depends on the situation. Honestly even if it's not marriage but if the other person is in a relationship, its something that should be disclosed. Mainly for safety. Just like with discussing any boundary.
I talked to someone lovely on here once and after a few messages, she asked to switch to texting. Once we started texting, one of her first messages was that she was married and her husband doesn't know she uses the website. Apparently we need to meet without her husband knowing. Oh and also it's because her husband was the jealous type!
All big nopes for me! Husband/wife can easily be replaced with boyfriend/girlfriend. Cuddling is a very intimate thing and if it's done behind a partner's back, it can get messy! Honest and clear communication is vital for any cuddle friendship.
Happy cuddles!
No, not at all. Their personal life is none of my business. This is a service, nothing personal. Being in a relationship at all and choosing to lay down with somebody else is cheating. We all know that. That's not my problem and not my business. Most of the time they aren't going to leave each other anyways so why would anybody make a fuss. As long as you're cuddling correctly, keeping it extremely professional, and platonic, what either one of you has going on is none of each other's concern. Of course we're all entitled to our own opinion, this one is just mine.
Not a deal breaker.
Married people make my skin break out.
I have been thinking about how to respond to this , without stepping on anyone's toes. I am sure that I have many cuddle sessions with people who are married and / or in a relationship . Quite frankly, it's none of my business, do you start telling your barber and dentist about your relationship status? 🤔 Having said that, i have been in situations where things have felt weird and I agree with whoever said in the comments that a neutral meeting place is definitely more relaxing. 😌
Personally… All is welcome with me! Come as you are literally. Everyone has their own battles and I am not here to judge anyone. If you’d like to share your stories with me, then that’s great. If not, that’s fine by me. Just chill and vibe with me… ✌🏼🫰🏼
Depends on the couple and boundaries established
As long as they are on here for platonic cuddling, then, no, being married is not a deal breaker. 🤗😊🤗
Yes, for me, being married is 100% a dealbreaker.
I don't care what she tells me, if the husband is cool with it or whatever, it's far too dangerous for me to trust that.
Because think about it. I'm cuddling some guy's wife. Probably in the spot where he sleeps.
Not only is that just messed up, but there's a chance I could find myself staring down the barrel of a shotgun halfway through the session.
So yeah, I ask about that when booking with a new cuddler, and I get her response in writing.
Being married wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me at all. I actually think cuddling is a really sweet activity, and I wish we viewed healthy, platonic touch more like we view massage.
We already accept that there are things our partners may not enjoy doing, may not be good at, or simply may not want to provide. If my back hurts and my husband doesn't want to spend an hour massaging me, nobody thinks it's strange for me to book a professional massage. I don't think affectionate, comforting touch necessarily has to be viewed so differently. If cuddling is something you need and your partner doesn't enjoy or want to provide it, I think paying a professional cuddler is a perfectly reasonable option.
And touch isn't just a frivolous want. There's actually a substantial body of research showing measurable physical and mental health benefits. A large 2024 systematic review and meta-analysis published in Nature Human Behaviour examined 137 studies in the meta-analysis plus 75 additional studies, involving 12,966 people overall. The researchers found that touch interventions benefited both physical and mental health, with particularly strong findings in adults for reductions in pain, anxiety and depression, along with benefits involving cortisol and other outcomes. Interestingly, the researchers also found that, in adults, health benefits did not significantly differ between touch from a familiar person and touch from a healthcare professional.
(https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-024-01841-8?utm_source=chatgpt.com)
Here is the actual study for anyone interested:
Obviously, I believe in clear boundaries and fully platonic, consensual cuddling. But within those boundaries, I think it's unfortunate that we sometimes treat the desire to be held as suspicious or inappropriate. Humans benefit from touch. I think professional cuddling can be another perfectly wholesome way for someone to meet that need.
@jonnyquest @StagSpirit I appreciate what you wrote. Why would I potentially cause pain to a spouse or SO who would not be ok with it - if they knew. And regarding the male clients who claim their wife is fine with it - then I’ll meet with you both first and in person and she can tell me directly that it’s perfectly fine.
It's not necessarily a deal breaker for me, but I take quite a long long long while getting to know people before I ever agree to meet up in person and I don't go to other people's homes to do so.
As long as their "family drama" doesn't become my "family drama" I can be ok with it. For me it's more about the connection with the person and building a sense of trust with them way ahead of time. By that time I have a sense of whether or not their intentions are actually platonic and a sense of what home life is like.
WOW. Everyone saying, “I don’t judge,” is missing the point. That’s low empathy. It’s not about the man being NauGhTy. It’s about his wife who thinks she’s in a relationship she’s not actually in. How come you didn’t think about her and the damage you could be causing someone?
Low empathy people only register the feelings of people they see around them, but there’s a whole woman with hopes, dreams, and love just out of view. She thinks the people in her life will be honest with her.
I can’t feel good about cuddling a married person who didn’t discuss it with their partner first. How can you?
Imagine before getting a full body massage, before the session - the therapist asks if you’re married or not? 🤣🤣🤣
I don’t mind telling my partner if I go to a masseuse. Would you feel the need to hide that you’re going to a masseuse? If you feel uncomfortable telling your partner that you’re cuddling others, examine that. If you’re afraid telling her could be problematic, the answer isn’t to be secretive.
There is a degree of intimacy involved with cuddling. There’s another recent thread on here about how bodies sync. Oxytocin is released, and emotional connections can form. Not every relationship will be unharmed by that, and avoiding the discussion because you know it won’t go the way you want is not okay.
How can you be cuddling other women when you are married? How is this not going to raise doubts in your wife/partner’s mind? What if your wife/partner starts doing the same? How will that make you feel?
Also, pros won’t judge you. Obviously! I mean why would they? They are getting their money after all. In fact, they can and will come up with plenty of scenarios/reasons justifying a married man cuddling other women is absolutely fine. Cuddling is a business for them and they could care less. It's you who have to decide if what you are doing is right or wrong. You know it deep down. So, stop pretending and listen to your conscience.
Sorry for being brutal but that’s the truth which no one will admit here.
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