Be courteous and reply (unless the initial message is inappropriate). A "no thank you" or "thanks for asking but it may be better to look elsewhere," or "I don't feel we could be a good fit", etc. You can say it nice, but don't be rude and leave people hanging. If they pursue after you have communicated clearly, then block them or don't reply.
@cherbola ... how about a response with your exact situation ? ( and I have heard this) “ I just signed up , and I’m new to this and taking this slowly”.
It kind of leaves room for a possibility later
I’m a child of the 40’s, we learned courtesy differently. You weren’t nice to people because you wanted something, you were just nice to people. That’s all changed now. I’m not offended when I don’t get a reply, I just assume your parents were too bust to teach you much about social interactions. Today I got a nice note from someone I had written months ago. It brought a smile to my heart.
I am sure that most parents taught us about social interactions and all that is well and good, but how about what @4cuddles just shared three comments ago, do we just ignore that? she just said that she was harrassed after giving a polite "no thank you" and she is not alone, there are many stories just like hers where guys don't take even polite rejection kindly and go ahead and create more profiles and continue the harassment. There was a thread last year where a pro also shared her story and even posted screen shots of the nasty messages she was getting and lies spread about her. She was legit and had good karma but eventually left the site as I'm sure many women do because there are too many guys who think that signing up entitles them to a response and an invitation to a cuddle. This has been said on this thread and many others but a polite "no thank you" won't make anybody feel any better and the pushy jerks won't take that kindly.
So again, nobody is entitled to anything on this site, and I think women should err on the side of safety and if they don't respond they must have their reasons and they should be respected and not questioned.
I really appreciate everyone’s input on this. As I mentioned, I’m new and that’s likely why I’m getting a flood of messages. I haven’t had a cuddle session yet and many things mentioned here are factors for me like safety.
I’m mostly put off by extreme brevity (Hi!), presumptuousness (Let’s cuddle tonight) and machismo (Oh baby I wanna cuddle you so bad). These are the messages that make me not want to reply. Reading through some of the other posts in the forum, I’m getting a better idea of what I’m dealing with.
For the guys that approach potential cuddler women, don’t open with any of the above. Open with something thoughtful and caring...that’s what this place is supposed to be about right?
BLOCK EM!
@cherbola - welcome to CC!
To your last point, absolutely... this should be a supportive and caring community first and foremost, out of which social and cuddling interactions happen if (and only if) a friendship has formed or is forming, and both parties feel comfortable going there. (slightly different with professionals, but in my opinion the same courtesies should of course be shown there as well, and absolutely there is no obligation on them to meet cuddlers they are uncomfortable with).
You wouldnt usually walk up to a complete stranger in the street and open with "Cuddle tonight?"... well... I wouldnt anyway!! Maybe Im old fashioned, but the same applies here!
I think much of the frustration experienced/expressed (aside of course from those in an area with not many cuddlers nearby which is a very different thing) is from guys who come here expecting a quick fix... possibly the ex craigslist contingent. To those guys: Invest time in your personal relationships fellas - people are awesome whether you can hold them or not and support isnt all about physical contact.
As to dealing with undesired attention? Im with @chococuddles... if you are being hounded, block em!
Davy
@Davy75 - Well said. So well said. Thanks for that! :-)
Eh, I just bold face say I'm not interested. Not because the person deserves a response, but just so that they block me. Usually people get pretty upset to hear that I am not interested and have a huge huff about it to finally block me so I kinda win in the long run.
I reached out to a lot of people and all but one were no replies. In my book a no reply means not interested. So I let all of those attempted conversations die. It is not impolite for you to not reply. Nobody owes me the time of day just because I expressed interest in them. What I think is inappropriate is to keep texting someone who doesn’t reply. A few texts in a row is fine. Sometimes an initial introduction or friendly greeting takes a few blurbs. But ongoing, persistent texts is block worthy. If someone you don’t even know believes they are entitled to your attention or a response, that is a red flag in my book. I hope people can just be patient and friendly.