Rude or not Rude

gypsycalgypsycal
in General

Generally speaking is it it wrong to ask a potential cuddle buddy to send a picture thats not just a head shot - like a full on this is what you are going to lay down with arms and legs intertwined.....

I dont at all especially if it’s gonna cost me which seems to be the case these days —— capitalism at its best

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Comments

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    I'd say it's rude if it's a non-pro. But not rude if it's a pro, since you're entitled to know what you are paying for. There is always the option of a public meet and greet first, which achieves the same purpose. Just say you'd like to meet them in person first before commiting to cuddling.

  • jamesbradfordjamesbradford

    It's not a matter of it being rude so much as that you are inherently sexualizing the encounter. If you are getting therapeutic benefit from physical engagement, it's based on something that has nothing to do with the physical appearance of your cuddling partner. That being said, you know what you want, so if you're paying, you have the right to ask for anything you want to ask for. Just don't expect to get it just because you want it.

  • garrablancagarrablanca
    edited February 2019

    I don't think is rude, of course depends on how you requested, if some ask for a nude obviously that this is extra mega rude... But for starting most of the people want to "know" to who they are talking to.
    And this is perfectly normal.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited February 2019

    Once someone from here and i had talked about hanging out and she asked me for full body pjc as well as one of me showing my teeth. I thought that was amusing. I am from alabama after all so i suppose she wanted to make sure i had all my teeth?

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @pmvines All your teeth? Does that include the teeth that might be wrapped in a hankie in the sock drawer?

  • SideonSideon

    @pmvines and @mickcuddle - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  • pmvinespmvines

    @mickcuddle Oh you mean my spares? I always keep my spare parts in the sock drawer, next to my moonshine, pistol, and road kill. Its an Alabama thing of course...

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    @pmvines as funny as that teeth request is, isn’t it somewhat reasonable? I’m reminded of my grandfather who did not have teeth any of my life and refused to wear his dentures unless it was Sunday morning. I’m also reminded of the crunch he made when biting an apple, something i thought was amazing that he did without his teeth. If i was cuddling with a person with no teeth I’d probably have an instant recall of that time. Lol

  • pmvinespmvines

    @BashfulLoner yeah i wasnt put off by it more so amused.

  • snuggleup101snuggleup101

    "I'd say it's rude if it's a non-pro. But not rude if it's a pro, since you're entitled to know what you are paying for." OK, this is why this site is starting to feel like a front for prostitution.

  • PaulaDahlaPaulaDahla

    ^^ agreed. It is beginning to feel like a it has an unsavory underbelly.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes
    edited February 2019

    @snuggleup101 it does seem like much of the talk is sliding right along that line sometimes. I also see a lot of profiles that tend to be hinting toward it.

  • mickcuddlemickcuddle

    @snuggleup101 @PaulaDahla I think you are both correct. I think management is aware that there is a fine line to keep between the platonic intentions of the site and illegal sexual activity, and thus they have kind of a hair trigger on banning questionable accounts. When places like Craig’s List closed up their somewhat loosely watched personal ads because of some legal changes that appear to make them responsible for the transgressions of their users, more of those users have gravitated to heretofore more innocent outlets. So the site has to increase the number of moderators, risk ticking off those of us who lose a friend or two who didn’t cross any lines but may have given the appearance of doing so. These practices protect potential victims, and protect the viability of this site and its business model. Where it may have been possible to give someone the benefit of the doubt in the past, the number of jerks and pervs who register every day make that impossible.
    The real downside is that while there are mistakes made by banning someone unnecessarily, we also endure the bad ones who don’t get caught.

    I think that the tone of the forums has changed from fairly friendly to often hostile, because of the tensions built up around misconduct and site discipline. I’m not enjoying it the way I did a year ago.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    @snuggleup101 - so you think it's not a legitimate request to ask for a photo of someone you are going to be paying for cuddling services? And what on earth does that have to do with prostitution? Asking for a photo now implies prostitution? Plenty of women on this site have said they would not consider meeting a guy for cuddling without seeing a photo of them first. Why is this any different? Are women allowed to ask for photos but men aren't?

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    @UKGuy I think the reference of screening by picture is suggesting getting what you paid for seems like an entitlement and is treating women like a product. Therefore leads one to believe that your intentions are not purely platonic. There is a fine line involved here, but at no time should anyone be treated as a product you purchase. This is a service offered, and the only service I can think of that the physical attributes of the person providing the service is of consequence is sex work.

  • gypsycalgypsycal

    At this day and age where it’s all about the views the likes the selfies the social media accounts where it’s all about the pictures how can anyone say it’s rude?

  • [Deleted User]loveandsky (deleted user)
    edited March 2019

    One of the nice features provided here is someone can load a picture that is only viewable to friends - then friend the person asking at least long enough to see the picture. I unintentionally offended a professional cuddler here by asking her if she could/would remove her nose jewelry including a septum nose ring and two facial studs before our session. I may be too old-fashioned but, as I told her, to me they take away from her natural beauty. Of course I would not have been cuddling or touching her nose but we would be talking before hand and it's distracting to me. My response when she basically said 'no'? I thanked her for the reply, apologized for offending her in anyway, and sincerely wished her well. I say all this to say that, if I had arranged to cuddle with someone without seeing a picture and she had that jewelry on, it would have been disappointing to me. This woman had very nice pictures of herself with no need for someone to ask for them.

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @loveandsky: Aesthetic preference is aesthetic preference. May you find lots of cuddlers here whose appearances (chosen and natural) you find pleasant to look at! It's a nice bonus to a cuddle.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    @loveandsky Septum nose rings are an instant turnoff for me. Yet I kind of fancy a tiny piercing on top of the nose.

    A recent head and full body shot seem to be pretty basic requirements for online meetups.

    Some people request IDs or in-person meetups so sending a few pix (or just Skype) isn't outside of my wheelhouse.

  • Jade25Jade25

    I don't think it's rude at all, as long as you're not expecting some bikini photo (which someone stupidly asked me for.) You're paying for a service and being that there is some attraction expected, it only makes sense to see what he/she is offering. I've been hearing a lot of horror catfish stories from clients, so I anticipate proving what I look like now. ?‍♀️

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    It is not rude. Jade is dead on. A lot of it is for safety reasons as well. Now if they ask for a picture followed by an “I will make your eyes roll into the back of your head” for $ XXX, then you can scream prostitution. The rest is just sheer speculation.

  • BiblioromanticBiblioromantic

    If I get to the point of scheduling a meet and greet, I don't have a problem with giving someone a headshot so they can recognize me when we meet. I ask for the same as a courtesy, as a safety precaution, and also as a small test of trustworthiness. If at that point they still can't give me a photo or the photo isn't of them or isn't recent, that's a huge red flag for me, and I'd have absolutely zero qualms about getting up and walking away. I haven't had that happen here (yet), but I did have it happen a couple times when I was online dating in my 20's.

  • [Deleted User]loveandsky (deleted user)

    Thank you @DarrenWalker and @chococuddles. @Jade25 - Of course I have not been asked for a bikini picture (everyone should be thankful for that) but if someone does not have a great idea of what you look like from your profile pictures you should probably refer them to an eye doctor! :-)

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I’ve been talking to a girl that used to be a pro on this site, she left quite a long time ago. We’re going to meet up tomorrow for a cuddle session, no charge, she stopped being a pro so there’s no money involved. The funny thing is that I don’t think she has any idea what I look like. I have her friended on Instagram but I have no pics of myself on there. She texts me pics of herself pretty often but never asks for a pic. I kinda find it a bit strange that she doesn’t ask for a pic. Pros never ask me for a pic but that’s different.

  • chubbybunnychubbybunny

    Hmm for me rudeness would be dependent upon what reason and how the pictures were asked for. Personally though a face photo is enough for me, I just want to know you’re human. And selfies tell a lot about personality

  • TouchIsTLCTouchIsTLC
    edited March 2019

    When I was searching for a pro to cuddle I felt that I had a number of choices in my area (over 20-25 active weekly within 50-80 miles) I definitely made choices based on their general physical appearance, age, face, etc... not because I was sexualizing them or objectifying them, but because I wanted to feel comfortable and at ease in the planned cuddle.

    I didn't really make any efforts to reach out to those pros I deemed super sexy/hot as that seemed awkward and I didn't want to feel sexually attracted to my cuddle. I prefer a cuddle partner with more curves and softness to them, so I also avoided pros that looked thin/athletic. I definitely prefer, when given choices to pick someone who's eyes/face I'd like to look at as opposed to one I don't, duh?

    I don't have a problem asking for a full body pic - fully clothed - that is recent(-ish) from a pro, if she doesn't feel comfortable with that, then she's not a good match for me. One pro asked for my picture before agreeing to meet with me, I agree that it was for safety, she didn't ask before then because it didn't matter to her - I think the pros have a different approach to who they choose to cuddle with, they are offering a service, where as if I'm buying a service I think its reasonable for me to choose which I hire based on what my preferences are, especially if I'm following the guidelines of the site and being respectful in my exchanges and intent.

    And I have a full body shot on here in the event that a pro or enthusiast were to ask for it, because they are people too and are allowed to have preferences as well. But truth be told, regardless of what you might look like, I have to like talking to you and enjoy the back and forth before I will ever want to cuddle you - yes pros included, but that's just me. You do you.

    EDIT: For ME, a request for full body pic is based on only having access to a headshot/mid-chest up shot, something where requesting a full body pic makes sense and isn't about any fishing for more...

    BTW - I'm not sure why the thread took the line of nudes/bikini requests as that's not what the OP asked about - I think the guidelines on the site are clear that those requests would be out of bounds.

  • CuddleStellaCuddleStella

    I’ll say maybe it’s not rude, but definitely don’t ask for a bikini photo like Jade said lol or be picky with the photo’s choice in dress or full body photo. Like say the photo shows from the waist up, that should be enough to give an idea of what the body looks like... unless you picky about thighs? Not sure why folks would be.

  • BellaJewelBellaJewel

    I have 3 photos on my profile and a client asked for one showing my full body (not naked, but I guess he wanted to see more of me). I honestly don’t take many selfies; it’s just not my thing. He accused me of being really fat. I’m under 11 stones (under 150 lbs) after feeding at the world’s biggest buffet, and I haven’t been labeled fat by anyone, so it really pissed me off. I ended our conversation at that point.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)
    edited March 2019

    @BellaJewel - In my opinion, that particular potential client was very rude in sharing his opinion of your weight. It is fine to have your preferred aesthetic "comfort zone", but it always amazes me when people have to resort to replying in hurtful and insensitive ways. It should be enough for him to look at your face pics, see your height and how you have chosen to describe your body type. He should have been mature enough to assess (in his own mind) that you were just not his cup of tea for cuddling purposes and move on. Sadly, many people don't do this. He sounds like he's on the jerky end of the spectrum to me. Good riddance and on to the next!

  • Navyman1010Navyman1010
    edited March 2019

    I dont think its rude

    -dont hate me my opinion-

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