You keep telling yourself that. A quick look around the workd tells me the gap between the haves and have nots is widening. I travel all over the world for work and over the years things are getting decidedly worse in that respect. I hold little hope for the human race. Mix in the rise of Nationalism and technological super weapons and it looks like the pre-WW1 world only this is an end that could be decidedly worse.
Think this is officially getting a little too far off topic, haha. But thanks for the discussion overall. ?
We are likely at End Stage Capitalism, and exactly as End Stage Tribalism, End Stage Barter, End Stage Feudalism, and so on, the End Stage seems pretty terrible...
But the new thing will pop up, and humanity will adjust culturally, and it will be fine.
You might read Pinker’s works on the subject, in that he has hard social data that demonstrates that ALL the horrid things humans contend with (wars, plagues, famine, infant mortality, interpersonal violence, etc) are at their lowest rates EVER.
Add in that our lifespans have dramatically increased (partly from less of the bad stuff and partly from FAR improved technology) and it isn’t hard to see that we are improving, in general.
We are currently undergoing a shift that really mirrors only five events in our species evolution:
Developing language. Using tools. Domestication of animals. Discovery of agriculture. The scientific method.
And culturally, we have no more clue what this internet thing will do to our civilization and culture than Gutenberg had about his printing press creating the Reformation, Renaissance, Imperialism, Capitalism, and the Industrial Age.
Now that such unprecedented numbers of humans have instant access to such a ridiculous store of human knowledge and skill, we really have no idea what’s next.
Being pessimistic is utterly normal for us humans, but the base facts point in hopeful directions...
Assuming we don’t get smacked by a random meteoroid, of course.
The base facts have us in a technologically advanced 1914 situation in the year 2019. This is not pessimism this is reality. China and North Korea are both building nuclear stockpiles. There is saber rattling across the globe from big and small countries alike. The human race has learned very little from past lessons. And Pinker is one man with one interpretation that I disagree with because those living in similar times pre WW1 had the same view of things—things had been relatively peaceful and economies were booming, scientific breakthroughs were all around—then, well we all know the rest of the story. A Pollyanna outlook is ok if you do not wish to consider the worst that could happen or how strong that possibility really is.
The use of the word likely in your very first sentence signifies there is no more certainty in your outlook than there is mine—no matter how many academic authors you roll out. If one thing in my years of graduate school and teaching taught me is those in academia are very fallible.
@FunCartel and @CharlesTwisted I actually really like where this discussion is going but for the sake of this specific thread it is highly off topic.
Maybe this could be its own thread of "what is your outlook on where we are today?" Should be created?
@laylanie
Yes. Yes indeed, WAY sidetracked.
My apologies.
@laylanie I could forward you my travel schedule for the next few months...Philadelphia, NYC, Boston and Costa Rica are in the next 45 days. That is where I am for the foreseeable future.
And at this moment I am in bed. Good night.
Lmao cute as always @FunCartel !
Bringing it back into the OP, I think finding people who are clearly doing something out of malice and are changing there facade to essentially honeypot some poor soul are always going to be a problem. Much like the nice guy/girl problem, there's always a few bad apples who claim to be who they say they are is genuine and put on that pokerface but I also am curious to know if by faking it that long, does it eventually sink in and make someone "good" in the long run?
So like the story of puss in boots (not the DreamWorks movie but the actual fairytale). If you pretend long enough, does the person inevitably change?
Not sure I'm glad to read these answers about NGS. Sad stuff.
I was raised with 3 sisters. We were all taught the Golden Rule, Do unto others.... I was taught to be honest and genuine. Everything else falls into place
It's all right, is interesting ?
I think respectful nailed the topic early on. You will not change the core being of anyone here. You can only ignore those who activate your instincts with red flags. Predatory and manipulative people are just that—predatory and manipulative. These traits are often useful in politics and business but can be damaging and dangerous in personal relationships and in cuddling. I fully understand the frustration in weeding these cats out but in changing and adding to your bio you are essentially trying to out manipulate the manipulative who see much of life as a game to win.
Relax and be yourself with the understanding there will always be obstacles in the way. You can classify and sort these characters all you want but they will always be what they are. It sounds as if you are aware of this and can identify them so I would just ignore them and move on. No sense in making your bio a wall that in trying to keep the “bad guys” out you turn off the “good guys” who would enjoy your company respectfully.
@FunCartel - welp, that's gonna be a "wall" of text anyway, if you meant literally at least. That's how I do. I don't want to make myself smaller to attract others either. I want to attract those who can appreciate it.
@Esquire it really is a shame when you run into one, for sure. As much as I would hope that "do unto others" is universal, there are a lot of people who have their own interpretation of what that actually means. Agreed thouth that things will typically fall into place.
@FunCartel also agreed. A wolf in sheep's clothing will still be a wolf. I think exercising assertive communication skills can at least help in the vetting process as oppose to the brick wall of profile details. Its exhausting to do since I think a skill we have lost is how to really get to know someone. That's one thing I do like about the forums. Yes, the conversations get heated sometimes but when the dust clears, seeing the people who rage out and quit because they just don't agree usually leave and the ones who disagree but accept the difference and not treat it as a personal attack tend to stay. It is like lately we have trained our brains to not really listen to the point of another person to understand, but just to immediately rebute the point of the opposition. I would think, but I could be wrong, that a person of ill intent wouldn't stick around due to them not swaying the other party and basically "sho' they a$$es".
@laylanie You never know what goes through someone’s head. Kind of like the torsional strain in the DNA double helix of rapists wrung out the ability to comprehend the word no. But you do not know that and so he says all the right things thinking the word no is just a yes waiting to happen.
MOD: Comment removed. Such a joke is not in good faith. [SoulcuddlerZ]
MOD: Comment removed. The joke to which your comment applied is not in good faith. [SoulcuddlerZ]
@laylanie thank you for your contributions! that's it, nothing more. Just thankful that you're here and growing in your presence.
What works for one person will not work for another. It's rather presumptious to assume that your requirements are the same as everyone elses. Some people will look at any profile and find something to criticize. When I first joined, I asked for comments on my profile and was told that using the word 'touch' was a red flag - so I removed it. Later I saw that tons of other profiles use that word and they have no problems finding cuddle partners.
@CuddleSquid Since the original post is about "Do we tell them what they're doing wrong or not", I feel I should probably reply.
Using terms like "Nice Guy Syndrome" and "heteronormative patriarchal societal bullshit" are huge red flags for me. I wouldn't choose to cuddle someone who used them, any more than I'd cuddle someone who used terms like "libtard", "snowflake" or "feminazi". Two sides of the same divisive, hate-filled coin and I don't invite people like that into my life anymore. Messes with my serenity. You may be missing out on meeting some cool people.
Conversely, do keep in mind your posts are catnip to Incels and alt-right men. I'm sure a lot of them contact you simply to mess with you. A bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you keep putting anger out into the world, you'll keep getting anger back.
Just some thoughts. Take what you like and leave the rest.
@FunCartel - LOL for "applies in prison."
I can offer that I dislike it when someone writes to me, doesn't introduce himself, doesn't tell me anything about himself, shortcuts all the social graces and just talks about getting together. Those types 100% of the time are photoless and have no more than two or three brief sentences on their profiles, if that. Regardless that ostensibly we're all here to meet someone to cuddle, there is still such a thing as manners. I understand that these guys are not reading my profile where it says I won't meet you if you don't want to get to know me first. I'm also pretty sure those are not guys who bother to read the forums. But on the slim chance there's someone reading this who may benefit from it, there you are.
@FunCartel even if I had the power to read minds, I wouldn't want to know. I know for being on a cuddle site this is going to come off as mean, but I honestly hate people I'd probably be worse off for it if I knew what people were thinking and I know I would be heart broken to find that it was a scenario that I was being used. Now if somehow I can view these thoughts from the safety of a podcast or something then sure, but that's definitely off topic lol But agreed.
@TouchIsTLC. Oh sthaaap~ I appreciate it for sure, I'm just in general terrible at accepting compliments. Either way, I am glad that I get the chance to chat with everyone here so thanks everyone for being active in the forums. Even in the occasional dumpster fire threads.
@laylanie I imagine if we could “read” minds there would be more “book” burnings.
@FunCartel I just put on a beauty treatment mask that hardens as it dries and makes my skin super tight so I can't express emotion. I laughed. Now my face hurts. I hope you're proud of yourself!
@Esquire @FunCartel What the hell just happened, no, there is NO truth in that and do not appreciate the rape joke being brought up. Prison rape jokes aren't cool either.
@MikeinDavis
You could have replied to what we were actually discussing, not just tell me my feminist views are unappealing to you, but okay then. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who doesn't know or understand what I'm talking about, as they are very real and important issues to me. I am a disabled woman, and I am rightfully angry at the patriarchal system and men who harm and abuse me and my fellow people and perpetuate abuse and harm in society. That very same society that tells men they shouldn't show emotion cause it's too feminine or want affection from friends because it's too feminine. I'm not missing out on "cool people," if they don't understand nor care about my struggles, what is the point.
@CuddleSquid Does your view of a patriarchal society address more men in dangerous jobs than women, working more hours, more men in prison, more Male suicides, more males losing custody battles in the Courts, more males dying in wars?
What you see is the top two percent in society. Men suffer more at their hands than women do. Fortunately most women don't support your brand of feminism.
Supply and demand , men move to country with more women and vice Versa , like blondes ? Move to Russia/ Norway , like Asians move to Thailand , simple , or cuddle and love/ make babies with your iPhone or endless bs syndrome
@mbaguy
Man, that’s deep.
@Esquire
Feminism is for everyone. I care about male suicides (directly related to that I was talking about, being taught not to show/share emotions or ask for help, and not to be affectionate outside of one single relationships). I care about prison reform. Screw war and all that nonsense. But yeah, I care how the patriarchy is harming everyone, as I literally said. You are misguided, and your rape joke really added to my horribly day from that to seeing images of my friend horribly beat up by an abuser (who she can't name publicly or facebook will remove it because they protect abusers) to a super disturbing unsolicited medical suggestion some dude sent my chronic pain page that I can't get out of my head. So just leave me alone.
MOD Edit: Please avoid profanity on the forums. Suggested edits are italicized. [SoulcuddlerZ]
@CuddleSquid When you're really about addressing those issues, you'll stop using the term patriarchy. Those stridently pushing feminism aren't about equality.
Anyone expecting to solve problems using Facebook is seriously out of touch with reality