Hi, Im new here, and seeking a cuddler. Im married. That being said outside of putting my kids to bed, and the occasional hug with them, I haven't cuddled in over 6 years. Not with my wife, or anyone else. its taken a serious emotional toll. I've spoken with my therapist about it, and she agrees its a basic human need. which is why I came here. Paying for it bothers me, but I have a need, and it must be met. I find myself hurting all the time due to feeling utterly alone. it's just not natural. I have PTSD, and don't function very well, my wife wants me to function better then she'll give me affection she says. She thinks I don't help around the house because Im lazy or something. So cutting me off from love and affection is my punishment. I can'r live like this, but I love her, and won't leave her or my boys so Im going to get those needs met elsewhere, till she understands my disability. its that simple really.
I never said a single thing about not wanting others to express a perspective. It's when that PERSPECTIVE moves to JUDGEMENT -- "you shouldn't be here" -- that I absolutely will speak up and say that such comments are not helpful to anyone.
"I won't cuddle with married people?" Okay! "You shouldn't be here" is NOT okay. Period. Unless I'm violating the TOS, no one has that right.
@Templar7 not that you want hugs from another guy, but HUGS... that is indeed a rough spot to be in. I don't care if you're married or not and here seeking affection to heal you from all the trauma and past neglect you have endured.
Not that you were asking, but perhaps you could ask your therapist if he/she would recommend your wife attending a session designed for her to see your pain and situation as you talk to your therapist, so she might "get it" and understand where you're at in all this and perhaps change her viewpoint. Alternately, he/she might recommend the two of you attend another therapist to discuss this issue, as there is a lot to it.
Best of luck to you, positive vibes headed your way.
WoW I was wrong, we are not grown enough to see that this poll is useless, because everyone has the right to have own preferences here. It's like religion or sex preference We can't be all the same in this matters.
If some of you do not accept to cuddle married people, fine... do not accept them, if some of you accept cuddling married people fine go ahead and do it. This discussion doesn't take anyone to anywhere.
We should discuss if is illegal or not, because that will be against the law, that will be something that can put you behind bars.
So far I don't now, maybe in some other countries.
If someone wants to cuddle married people it is their perogative. Ditto if they choose not to. I could care less. This applies to race, age and gender. People will always have their preferences. Nothing I say one way or the other will change their mind. However, the best way to handle it is to not respond at all or say not interested. No one is obligated to say why they are not interested.
Now if they are violating their pro contract with CC then that is between CC and the pro. Still not my problem.
It's hard to trust that everything is being done consensually. I fully support polyamorous and open relationships, but if you're only dealing with one side of that relationship, it's hard to trust that it's true and that they're truly being ethically non-monogamous. I myself am in an open-cuddle relationship, and people have to take my word on that because my partner is not on this site. No one has seemed to care, assuming they read profile, anyway. I think it would be great if their partners are comfortable with them seeking more platonic affection because it's such an important, healthy thing that people often need much more of, but it needs to be honest.
The ones who don't mention anything about poly or open relationships, just list married or in relationship, are the ones that worry me the most. Of course, most profiles are blank or say almost nothing, which is already unappealing.
@CuddleSquid I think that's a fair concern. I am married and I do have it stated in my profile that I am not doing this behind his back. In fact, some of the fun we've been having is going over some of the most messed up forum posts from this site. Even discussing some of the most serious topics together based off of the broad viewpoints that exist here.
I am extremely aware that having married as my status is greatly impacting my ability to find potential cuddle partners and I can completely understand that someone would feel uncomfortable with knowing that fact about me.
I can't speak for all married, because I don't know their situation, but being honest about my status is more so that I don't sideline the person I'm with when I bring him up in conversation because I do love him and I talk about things I love a lot. It's just how I am.
^^ ^^
I am familiar with marriage spouses encouraging their partner to seek a professional cuddliest. I can see where this can significantly benefit a marriage. I am looking forward to the day where seeing a cuddliest is as mainstream as going and seeing your family doctor
I was married to a man who was very affectionate and then quit being affectionate shortly after we were married. That was really difficult.
I can understand why someone might need cuddling outside of their marriage. I don't think I want to cuddle with someone who is married unless I know that their spouse knows about it. I don't want to get involved in a messy situation.