Have you ever had a platonic cuddle buddy?

[Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
in General
Does anyone here have a platonic (non-sexual) cuddle buddy, or did in the past?

I am primarily looking for people who met cuddle buddies through the internet or an app, but would also be open to hearing stories of people who cuddle their friends or tried finding people through their existing networks. I would also consider stories from people who have tried professional cuddlers, though that's not what I'm mainly interested in.

I would like to do a blog post with people's experiences and stories about platonic cuddling - especially what it was like for them the first time, the fears they had to overcome, and any advice they would give to other newbies.

I would be happy to use pseudonyms or just keep the testimonials anonymous, if you would prefer. :)
Please send me a PM or comment on this post if you're interested!

Comments

  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    I would love to find a non pro platonic cuddle buddy but I don't know if they exist. You can actually genuinely be platonic with a pro but I feel that anyone that is a non pro will eventually lead to something romantic.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Well, I had a straight female friend that I used to cuddle with for 4-5 years until she moved away and got married. Our relationship never became romantic or sexual. I think it depends on things like sexual orientation, whether you're attracted to the person, how often you cuddle, and how strict the physical boundaries are. Also, it helps to have several cuddle buddies to prevent it from feeling overly exclusive.
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    The problem isn't me, I can keep things platonic. The problem is the girl I'm cuddling with. They ultimately all take it to a romantic level.
  • OrionEridanusOrionEridanus
    edited January 2017
    I have had two repeat platonic cuddle buddies.

    Well one I met as a possible housemate through a non cuddle related FB group . We did not room together and we cuddled probably 8-9 times over 3-4 months before she moved.

    The other is a woman I met through personals. We were friends a long time, dated briefly (we never went sat making out! and began cuddling a year or two later. She is busy and we probably only cuddle a couple of times per year. 
  • CuddlereadyCuddleready
    edited January 2017
    Sounds like a dream, but one can hope.
  • [Deleted User]Alternis (deleted user)
    I had a cuddle buddy who was a childhood friend. We cuddled for two years and it was going good. Until we went on a trip out of state and even though she was completely cool with spooning and sleeping together, apparently I fell asleep spooning her and in my sleep cupped her boobs with my hand for idk how long.

    She thought I was trying to cop a feel in the middle of the night while she was asleep. We are still friends but the cuddling ended for good that night lol.
  • CNYMikeCNYMike
    I have never had a cuddle buddy, but I embraced the concept when I stumbled on it and this web site in 2014.  I'm not sure why meeting someone has been virtually impossible--is it me or the nature of cuddling as something out there in our culture?  But I think it would suit me at this point in my life and I hope I eventually meet someone. 
  • [Deleted User]cuddledingo (deleted user)
    I had a platonic cuddle buddy on the east coast, but she was a lesbian. I feel I could keep it in my pants, too, but I tend to grow on girls and they want more romance, like Morpheus was saying.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Thanks for sharing everybody! I appreciate all the responses. I currently have two platonic cuddle buddies, one who I met through Reddit and the other through a Facebook group. I did also meet one person through this website and we cuddled a few times, but it didn't work out long-term for various reasons.

    There have been times when romantic/sexual attractions have come up, though thankfully I've been able to work through this with my cuddle buddies and find boundaries that suit our relationship. One of my cuddle buddy relationships has evolved into a more committed quasiplatonic (non-sexual, non-romantic) relationship now.

    Interestingly, my experience has been that it often seems to be men who want something more, based on the kinds of messages they send (and not always just sex, it may just be a dating/romantic relationship). Having said that, each individual is different and you have to take it on a case-by-case basis. One of my current cuddle buddies is a guy and I feel very comfortable with him, as he's non-threatening and super respectful of boundaries.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    "I'm not sure why meeting someone has been virtually impossible--is it me
    or the nature of cuddling as something out there in our culture?  But I
    think it would suit me at this point in my life and I hope I eventually
    meet someone."

    @CNYMike I have had similar challenges. While I'm very grateful for my two cuddle buddies, it took a long time and a lot of effort to find them. I had to message a LOT of people and got a lot of rejection and ghosting. I do think that there is a bit of a cultural stigma which holds people back, and also leads people to feel very anxious or uncertain about the idea of meeting a cuddle buddy from the internet.

    My experience was that I was very nervous and apprehensive the first time I met a cuddle buddy from the internet, but thankfully it worked out well and that built my confidence. It's been a lot easier since then though I am a little wary as I've come across a few people who are mentally/emotionally unstable.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)
    I did in the past with a few married women. No lines were crossed. They were faithful to their husbands and it was nice having sex off the table.  We were really able to relax and just enjoy the warm healing energy of another human. It's always been tougher with single girls. Patiently (impatiently) awaiting for the next one. 
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Thanks for sharing chococuddles!
  • OrionEridanusOrionEridanus
    @Sunflowerfield  I like how when potentially uncomfortable situations came up, you and your cuddle partner were able to communicate through them.  I wish I'd known someone like you when I was 25!  

    Like that word "quasi-platonic".  I said it was non-sexual and not romantic, so I'm not sure what the "quasi-" means. Do you mean there is some acknowledged attraction and you both just choose not to act on it?
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    @OrionEridanus the term "quasiplatonic" or "queerplatonic" relationship just refers to any committed non-sexual, non-romantic relationship. So it's basically a committed friendship but the commitment level is more similar to that which most people reserve for romantic relationships. There can be acknowledged attraction but not necessarily - that just depends on the people involved and their individual situation. These kinds of relationships are quite popular in the asexual/aromantic community but many other people like them too.
  • jeff53jeff53
    Seems to me that one of the reasons one is rejected alot here or there is ghosting is because you are not known. You know how it was when your a kid growing up and your parents keep saying "Stranger Danger".    Those kinds of things stick with you so trust needs to be developed.

    Looking forward to a cuddle event to make my debut in the non-pro cuddle arena 8)

  • aaronchiaaronchi
    edited February 2017
    I had a really good female friend who I cuddled with platonically. She was a very sexual person herself but we were not sexually attracted to each other which made it work out very well. I would go to her place, bliss out cuddling for a while in her bed, and then go about my day.

    I find that women who are comfortable with their sexuality are more open to this kind of connection because they already have good boundaries and communication skills. But I agree that it is difficult to find.
  • netrunnernetrunner Mod
    @Sunflowerfield I have had a few platonic cuddle buddies in the past... many of them I'm still great friends with and talk with regularly, but don't get to see in person as much as they live several hours away. I originally met majority of them online on a website for ravers, a site that no longer exists, and from that would meet others either randomly or through friends of friends at these events where it's common to make friends of strangers and even cuddle up with them, either at the event or at after parties. It was/is great being able to listen to amazing live music by DJs that we loved to hear while holding and being held by someone you could open up to for a night, a weekend, or more and enjoy feeling loved.

    To go off what @Morpheus said, at least on my end, there was occasionally the idea of things becoming something more with a couple of them that I would see several times in a month. So yes, I can confirm that at least sometimes, one person between platonic cuddle buddies will think about things becoming romantic... and there is no way to tell if it will take cuddling twice or a several dozen times before one or both people will think about it at least one.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Thanks @aaronchi and @reurbo! Do you mind if I share your experiences in my blog post? Would you like to remain anonymous?
  • aaronchiaaronchi
    @Sunflowerfield You're welcome to share. Feel free to PM me if you want more detail.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Thanks @aaronchi! I appreciate it. :-)
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