No Picture, no Profile --> no motivation to reach out

OrionEridanusOrionEridanus
in General
I have been unsuccessful finding a cuddle buddy through here during the one month since I joined.  I have one dialogue going (and a couple that just died with no explantion) but we have not managed to coordinate our schedules yet and actually meet.

One of my wants (but not a total dealbreaker) is they be close.  The Bay Area is awful to drive around in the few hours around prime commute times and I already spend a lot of road  time visiting my gf. Ideally within a half hour, which ends up being 5-10 miles.  I am not looking for a professional.

There are maybe a dozen active or modestly active folks within that range and half of those have no profile or picture.  Some of them  might be good cuddle partners, but when I think about contacting someone with zero to go on to start the conversation on my end, my motivation dies.  Even a pic with no or a minimal writeup (like "I like to cuddle") is difficult for me.

How do you feel about stub profiles?

Have you had any luck cold calling people with stubs who also appear to be active on the site?

Those of you with stubs;  what has your experience been like here?  Do you reach out to people? Do many people reach out to you?

Thanks

Comments

  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    edited February 2017
    I don't know of any males on the site that have cuddled with a non pro. The majority of non pros on the site are either fake, here out of curiosity but not serious or are using this site as a dating site. If you're looking for a pro, most that I have seen have been amazing and I highly recommend them. If you're looking for a non pro, good luck.
  • netrunnernetrunner Mod
    I've cuddled with one non-pro and even then, the first meet up was in a public place (though I picked her up at her place since she didn't have a car). We still talk, but haven't had time to meet up again so far. She did tell me that having the positive Karma (from a Pro) helped calm her nerves a bit in meeting me, that I was vouched for as a decent guy. I may be getting to cuddle with another non-pro in a couple weeks, but I'll be traveling to another city 3 hours away so it wouldn't be something regular yet I'm greatly looking forward to it.
    So I know it is possible, but yes.. when looking locally, odds seem to be you'll mostly find Pros. I will say that that for any non-pros you do find, having Karma helps a lot to show that others have met with you before and had a positive experience. You do have a good profile and I like that you do explain your open-relationship.. I'm sure that if you didn't, that could have been a red flag for someone considering cuddling... not wanting to get between a relationship.

    As for the profiles with little to no information and maybe have a picture or maybe don't... a cold opening message may not be the easiest thing, but a warm welcoming hello and maybe asking what brought them to the site could start things going. If they have little to nothing on their profile to go off of you can start by asking what their interests or hobbies are... something to show you're interest in talking with them and see if things go from there to possibly meeting up and on to cuddling.

    After seeing someone else post about them seeing a profile that hadn't been touched in months, but sending them a message anyway, I've sent out several messages to profiles that were from 2 weeks to 8 months inactive. True, the person who had done the same thing said that person logged in and looked at their profile, but didn't respond, but he at least tried.
    I'll message people I might not ever get to cuddle with unless I'm traveling, but still want to brighten someones day to give them a compliment if they had a great profile and a great energy about them.

    Keep trying. As someone else on the site once stated, it took her months of searching before she found a cuddle buddy that they clicked well together.... and I'm looking for her profile to tag her in this, but I'm going blank on her username LOL
  • jeff53jeff53
    To be honest I would have to say that my initial thoughts of finding a cuddle buddy that is not a professional is very slim.  probably 1 in a 1000 chance i am guessing.
    I do not have a picture as I am a private person, but would not have a problem sending a picture to a possible cuddle buddy before I was to meet them.
    Most people have their accounts send a message to their email so I would suggest you send a message to everyone in your area.
    My current experience is that it is lady's choice when it comes to cuddling no matter what the situation may be so don't take it in a negative way.  A woman needs to feel safe before she considers this.
    There hasn't just been one bad apple out there ruining it for the rest of us guys.
    Although, out of all those that I have messaged I have only managed to have a meaningful conversation with two young women.  keep up the search.  eventually something may come up.
    As I said I am not holding my breath, but will hopefully meet some cool people at events I plan to try and attend.
    Safety in numbers is my guess. 8)

  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    I have two non-pro cuddle buddies, but it took quite a long time to find them - especially since I'm not in a really big city. The first person found me after I put a couple of ads on the Cuddle Buddies subreddit. I found my other cuddle buddy through a local Facebook group I started for non-pro platonic cuddlers.

    Having said that, I've contacted a lot of people who have joined my Facebook group and most of them have ghosted me - even if I can tell they have read my message. Two people even ghosted me after I met up with them in person to get to know them over dinner. I'm not sure why this happens, but I think it's probably due to anxiety, or possibly just that they didn't click with me, or perhaps realised that platonic cuddling was not what they really wanted.

    I think it takes a lot of patience and persistence, plus it's good to try a few different websites. I also have an OkCupid profile where it states I am just looking for friends and platonic (non-sexual, non-romantic) cuddle buddies. I think this maxmises your chances of finding someone. I would also emphasise when you message people that you're genuinely just looking for something platonic, because I've had a number of messages where I got a strong vibe that they wanted to date me and it felt awkward.
  • OrionEridanusOrionEridanus
    @sunflowerfield The OKCupid profile is an interesting idea. I used to date there, but maybe if I emphasize platonic cuddling and I am already in a romantic relationship people will believe it.  I feel like nearly everyone there is looking for dating, but then that is what *I* wanted back then too and my profile said so!

    How has OKC worked out for you in this regard?
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    @OrionEridanus I've had mixed experiences with OkC, especially when it comes to looking for non-romantic/non-sexual relationships.

    I started talking to one poly guy who messaged me, and he was interested in being platonic cuddle buddies. However, some issue came up with his primary partner, so he declined because he felt he needed to focus on their relationship and sort out some issues.

    I've also been chatting to another guy in an open relationship who seems keen to meet up and hopefully be platonic cuddle buddies, but I just haven't had the time/energy to meet him yet.

    I like the fact that there are a few guys in poly relationships on there, because at least I feel they are getting their sexual/romantic needs met somewhere else and are less likely to want that from me.

  • jeff53jeff53
    It would appear to me OKCupid would indicate romantic relationship based on its name, but if it has possible options choices for you to indicate platonic/non-romantic/non-sexual on your profile then I suppose that this could be something beneficial.

    @Sunflowerfield - your observations on poly relationships are definitely on the mark.  I would have to say that when I was married my platonic friendships with women skyrocketed as they didn't have to worry about me pursuing romantic interest in them.
    As far as finding poly-couples I suppose one would have to get on dating sites to find.

    on a side note about CL it seems from my observations that in my area of the woods most women that post on CL are either looking for a husband or an encounter, but nothing in between.  I would have to say though that the w4w ads have a variety of things going on.  Women seem to corner the market on the making of friendships I suppose.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    @jeff 53, what are you talking about when you refer to "CL"? Do you mean this website?
  • [Deleted User]Spoonie (deleted user)
    CL is craigslist. 
  • OrionEridanusOrionEridanus
    Thank you all for your inputs and insights. My update is I reached out to one stub profile and received a polite reply that they are browsing but otherwise set for cuddling. 

    I am communicating now with 2 prospects and am supposed to meet up with one for the first time thiis evening. 
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Hope it goes well @OrionEridanus!
  • OrionEridanusOrionEridanus
    Met up with one person. Held hands a long while and shared a hug that felt very nice to me.   Nice convo. There is an expressed mutual want to continue, If schedules ever overlap a second time! 
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Cool, that sounds promising!! :D Glad it went well so far.
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