I've been going to the Chicago cuddle party group for about 2 years now, and I've always wished there were something like it closer to home. I've talked with several people about trying to organize one somewhere in Michigan, but so far nothing has materialized, so I'm starting to think about putting one together myself and seeing how it goes.
Scheduling: I'm aiming for a date in mid-May; please let me know which of these would work best for you:
- Thursday, May 7, 7 PM-midnight
- Saturday, May 9, 4 PM-9 PM
- Sunday, May 10, 3 PM-8 PM
- Thursday, May 14, 7 PM-midnight
- Saturday, May 16, 4 PM-9 PM
- Sunday, May 17, 3 PM-8 PM
- Thursday, May 21, 7 PM-midnight
- Saturday, May 23, 4 PM-9 PM
- Sunday, May 24, 3 PM-8 PM
Location: I'm thinking of one of the large hotels in downtown Grand Rapids; either the Amway Grand or Marriott, depending on availability. This'll cost me a fortune, but I want it to be special! Both hotels have parking ramps nearby (the ramps owned by the hotels themselves are only for actual hotel guests), and most buses will stop within a block or two at some point. If availability/cost of parking downtown is something that'd keep people away, I'm open to other options. If we decide to make it a regular event, I'd ideally like to find people willing to offer their homes as venues.
Registration: I will have a page set up for attendees to register in advance. There will be a $15 registration fee, to help cover the cost of supplies (I'm eating the venue cost for this one), and to ensure that everyone takes the rules and agreements seriously. My experience is that male-identified people will likely outnumber female-identified people at this event. Expect to share touch with those of your own gender, as well as others. If there is an extreme disparity that harms people's ability to enjoy the event, I may pair admissions for some (but not all) future events by gender.
How it works: There will be a room set up as our "cuddle space", with foam padding, blankets and pillows on the floor, as well as couches and chairs. Another area will be set aside as a "break room", with snacks and water provided. The event begins with the welcome circle - a ~45-minute workshop-type thing where we will introduce ourselves, go over the rules and agreements, and do a few short group exercises. Attendance is mandatory - late-comers who miss it won't be allowed in - but your degree of participation is entirely up to you; you're welcome to sit out any or all of the exercises if you want. After that, we will have about 4 hours to practice our agreements in a safe, playful environment.
What to wear/bring: Wear clean, comfy, cozy, non-revealing clothing; sweats, pajamas, etc. There will be a restroom where you can change if needed. Feel free to bring snacks, drinks (no alcohol, please), pillows, blankets, stuffed animals or anything else to enhance your experience.
Rules and agreements: A list of eleven simple rules that set the tone for the event:
- Clothes stay on the whole time.
- You are not obligated to touch anyone, ever.
- Ask for permission, and get a verbal "yes", before touching anyone. Be as specific in your request as possible.
- If you're a "yes" to a request, say "yes." If you're a "no", say "no."
- If you're a "maybe", say "no."
- You are welcome and encouraged to change your mind.
- If you are in a relationship, communicate with your partner and respect your agreements with them.
- Get the event organizer if you have a question or concern, or need assistance with anything during the event.
- Tears and laughter are both welcome.
- Respect people's privacy when sharing about the event.
- Keep the cuddle space tidy.
It's probably important to note that, as I have not gone through the Cuddle Party organization's certification process, this event won't be endorsed or promoted by them, and it can't officially be called a Cuddle Party (they own that trademark). I will most likely call it Touch Positive Michigan - a name whose significance we might explore while we're there. If this is successful and becomes a regular event, I'll look into the certification, but I've gotten the impression that there is a backlog and it might take a long time, if it happens it all.