Coming to terms with me.

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A friend of mine (of 25 years) and I got together to morn the loss of a mutual friend. I offered to tune her piano for free just to be nice. The subject of cuddling came up and she revealed to me that she is a professional cuddler. She then offered me a free cuddle. For some reason, despite the fact that I would cuddle her and do the tuning, the idea of these two actions being some kind of exchange makes it impossible for me. I guess I've discovered a deeply ingrained creed toward free love.

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Comments

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    I think that is a beautiful experience and really brings to light the full circle with your old friend in a very hard point in both of your guys moment of loss.

    That even to have that conversation...I feel, is your creed and what it stands for. :)
    thank you for sharing.

  • [Deleted User]mascc18 (deleted user)

    Well I can understand your point of view.. but maybe just like how you wanted to do something selfless at the moment, she wanted to too.. it is a beautiful thing! :)

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    You are what you are. I can fully understand not wanting something intimate attached to a monetary transaction or a bartering transaction. It can leave a bad taste if you think about it.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited September 2019

    I am not sure how you are viewing this. Though, I see no issue with it. You two were/are mourning. You chose to help her with her piano. She offered to cuddle with you for free. Which I think is something you both could use.

    There's also no issue doing things for each other because I think that's the foundation of a healthy relationship. Though, come to think of it in a different light, I'd ask why she wants to cuddle with you. Then, go from there. Maybe she's grateful for your help, and wants to do something nice for you. Then, proceed according to your comfort. Maybe with some more reflection there is a another* thing, or two that is holding you back, and so you can then work through figuring that out.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited September 2019

    She prob cuddled you since you are both interested in doing that and she's your friend , not as payment for piano tuning .I just think it's ironic that you are friends 25 yrs and don't know that you are both into cuddling and that she is a paid cuddler . That is the only thing that leaves me scratching my head

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @pmvines Good point. But there are various levels of friends with a variety of intimacy, so it could be they were just acquaintances and he would not know that she was moonlighting as a pro cuddler. Who knows.

  • pmvinespmvines

    True true. Goes to show we don't know folks as well as we might think

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    No we do not. But I think we should not be surprised. I like to be introspective and look in the mirror because I think it is healthy to take mental stock and sometimes I hate what I see and try and change it, sometimes I like how life is going, and sometimes, quite often, I surprise myself with little discoveries or behaviors. I do not think I am alone in this at all; which just goes to show, if we surprise ourselves and discover new things about ourselves that we never knew about ourselves before, how well do we really know others if we are figuring out ourselves?

    As an aside, I think when one stops making discoveries about oneself is the day when one becomes old.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited September 2019

    @pmvines could be a new found interest. Edit: Which she might have been coming to terms with herself. end of edit.

    There are many things that those we deem close to us have no idea of. Sometimes it takes one of us taking the first step, because even though we might consider someone our bestie, and share certain things: there are things we might be on the fence about. I also get the need to form and have relationships in which we can be ourselves. Though, sometimes if it's something many around us oppose, then sharing is not really an option. There's some saying that goes like: "If you can't keep your own secret, don't expect someone else to keep it for you."

    Thinking about that line at this stage, I perhaps see a flaw in it, because not everyone is like us. So, they could very well be able to keep said secret. However, still, I think that line has some value. Also, sometimes, some of us are tired of dropping people, and want to benefit from each other in certain aspects: so, we don't end up all alone. Edit: Or we aren't ready to be alone til we find such connections that we can really be ourselves, etc. end of edit. As a result, we keep those aspects that seem to chase everyone away to ourselves. Not saying that's necessarily what's happening here. Though, more so speaking generally.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Lovelight true true

  • MexicrapMexicrap

    why would anyone turn down a free cuddle?

  • LovelightLovelight

    @Mexicrap because they want to.

  • MexicrapMexicrap

    that is a beautiful and well thought out answer. are you the "oh that person" on here?

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Mexicrap are you that person on here ? It really is just a simple answer sometimes . No need to be fussy about it .

  • MexicrapMexicrap

    here we go.. he/she/it wasnt being "simple", they was being an a-hole. or as you liberal people call it "micro aggressive". If you go to a videogame forum and tell people you could have got a free limited edition copy of "yada yada" but turned it down, you would have people askin "who the hell would turn down a free copy of yada yada". same thing here.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @Mexicrap please , chill . You are bringing unnesassary drama into something simple . Only one getting bent out of shape is you and it's not even something worth getting bent over.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    Is the piano out of tune or just out of “ pitch”?

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited September 2019

    @cuddlerforu24 maybe both. lol. Edit: Oh. Never mind. I thought it was some funny question you were asking generally. I guess it's directed at OP? end of edit.

    @pmvines yes, just a simple response to a question I find pressuring. Besides, OP has already stated his reason.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    @lovelight if it were both you could consider it just way out of tune , ?!?

  • [Deleted User]Zundar (deleted user)

    @Lovelight "because they want to" seems like a perfectly valid answer, it's the same if someone was offered a free holiday or meal. Maybe they don't want to cuddle the person offering, or don't have the time when the other person is free, or can't travel as far as would be needed/host if needed. Any number of things influencing whether the person wants to commit to doing it or not.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @Zundar yep. Them wanting to is part of the many reasons they'd turn whatever down.

    @cuddlerforu24 I am not sure.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Mexicrap You are being micro-aggressive. Thank you for introducing that term to me.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @FunCartel seems he's micro banned

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
    edited September 2019

    He could be micro reinstated , let’s see

  • pmvinespmvines

    Quite possibly . I've seen someone micro banned for approximately one hr before ...

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
    edited September 2019

    That was a micro decision

  • pmvinespmvines

    @cuddlerforu24 you have been resurrected twice now . You must be a micro zombie

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
    edited September 2019

    No , macro resilient

  • pmvinespmvines

    Well good luck I hope you have some micro success

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    Good micro night

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