Too Good to be True

hitmanbosshitmanboss
edited September 2019 in General

I saw this site and I became excited. Wow, I can possibly meet people and just cuddle on the internet? This is going to be awesome.

It's not awesome. It's just an awesome idea that doesn't want to explode.

I happen to be a charismatic man. That said, I can and have set up situations were all I did was cuddle with a woman from meeting face to face. I have even had a girlfriend who I never had sexual contact with (my choice) that I turned into my cuddle buddy. I had cuddle buddies long before (1995) Professional Cuddling became a buzzword. With my USAF training/service (background in practical ethics), personal experience, education and personality... I Can Be A Professional Cuddler.

I just get messages from professional cuddlers. Everything else comes across like a dating service.

Since "I should be paid for my cuddles!" (I said that to my ex girlfriend) and I choose not to date (I value my personal space and resources), this has been a lackluster experience for me.

MOD Edit: Removed relationship questions from poll [SoulcuddlerZ]

  1. Are YOU here on CuddleComfort.com to cuddle for Free?46 votes
    1. I am a Professional Cuddler (Man)
        2.17%
    2. I am a Professional Cuddler (Woman)
      17.39%
    3. I want to Cuddle for Free (Man)
      47.83%
    4. I want to Cuddle for Free (Woman)
      23.91%
    5. I am here for the LOLs
        6.52%
    6. Where are my keys?
        2.17%
    7. TLDR
        0.00%
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Comments

  • [Deleted User]2dogmom (deleted user)
    edited September 2019

    I feel your pain @hitmanboss . I've only been here a few months and thought finding great cuddle partners would be easy-peasy, fresh and breezy, but it is not. First, it's a lot of work to vet people. Second, I guess I am super trusting because I expect people to be decent/not sleazy and basically honest as a general rule. But apparently that is not the case for many. And that goes for men AND women. I won't even get into the judgment of physical appearance/age which shouldn't matter too much if you are here to cuddle and not date.

  • hitmanbosshitmanboss

    @2dogmom Thanks for the post. I agree with you also. Vetting is a challenge. Age and Appearance should not be a factor if you're here for the Cuddles (at least not a major factor).

    I have come to expect the indecency. It's the internet...lol

  • [Deleted User]2dogmom (deleted user)
    edited September 2019

    @hitmanboss one of my cuddle friends keeps reminding me of that same thing--it's the internet. Again, I guess I just expect people to have basic human decency, but then expectations of others has always caused me heartache. Even basic ones. lol And, yes, about appearance/age... I would prefer to cuddle someone taller than me (I am tall for a woman) because it adds to the safety/comfort factor of cuddling for me, but that doesn't mean I am going to shoot down a potentially awesome cuddle partner who is not.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Welcome, but I suspect this thread will be merged with several others that came before bemoaning the same thing. There is nothing new under the sun. The money generated by the pros supports the site. I have certain qualms about pros but for the most part they are a valuable resource. If you want to point a finger—point it at the internet as you jokingly did and at enthusiasts. Several enthusiasts come here and when they find that it is imperfect like the rest of the world, they leave. You can’t make an enthusiast do anything beyond following the site rules and even that is dicey once activity is taken off site.

    Compounding the problem is the flight of hookers and johns who have fled the shadows of Backpage and Craigslist once the sex ads were shut down. Nothing like a female enthusiast being propositioned within her first five minutes to provide an incentive to leave.

    Finally the ratio of men to women is enormous and the odds are against you from the start. Some women recognize this and turn pro for a few bucks. Those that do this are by and large facing economic difficulties.

    I could go on but there are other threads like this that go on ad nauseum.

  • [Deleted User]2dogmom (deleted user)

    @FunCartel quit raining on our newbie pity party... 😉

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited September 2019

    Rejection can sting. Though, if some would like to cuddle with someone they've certain level of attraction with: then, it is what it is.

    That doesn't change the fact that the site provides us the platform to connect. So, in my opinion, there's no issue with the site there. In fact, I think it's well made and handled. Whatever issue you seem to be getting* is a people issue whether it yours, theirs, or both of yall's issue.

    It's also easy to say, “this bad, this bad". Though, it's not clear to me @hitmanboss what you actually find bad, and what you'd like to see improved about the site.

    I also don't know what made you conclude that looks are coming into it for people. Would you like to clarify that?

    If you are getting rejections left and right, I wouldn't narrow it all down to: "It's an issue of attractiveness". Many reasons can make someone not want to accept cuddles with someone specific. It could even be their username that they find not so cuddly. Or the way they speak around here. Could be anything, and many things. Also, I second @FunCartel's input.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited September 2019

    OP: Also, if you've a preferred age range, why shouldn't others do too?

    Somewhere around, age has already been discussed, as well. I think in the end, we all have our reasons, and comfor level: and that's okay.

  • [Deleted User]2dogmom (deleted user)

    @Lovelight cannot someone just express their frustrations without being told that they are being redundant or asking for clarity? New people to the forum may not realize there are past posts and why does it even matter if they are here to ask for support or input?

    And the OP said nothing about age or appearance--that was me so your questions should be directed to me, but I decline to engage.

    I often feel that the more "seasoned" members here tend to be "dismissive" of new people asking questions or expressing their frustrations. It has been very discouraging for me personally when it comes to posting questions or comments.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @2dogmom It can be helpful for some to know that something has already been discussed.

    What is wrong with asking for clarification?

    Posting invites the questions, and thoughts of others: unless one states they don't want that. Then, others should respect that. In this case that hadn't been done by OP.

    So, as far as I am concerned, it's reasonable for me to question, and give my feedback.

    OP actually said things about those factors. I failed to see what you said, and you seem to have failed to see what OP said. My question, was thus direct at OP's statement:

    "...Age and Appearance should not be a factor if you're here for the Cuddles (at least not a major factor)."

  • [Deleted User]2dogmom (deleted user)
    edited September 2019

    @Lovelight what is "wrong' with it is that if those are his feelings, they are his feelings. You cannot argue with people's feelings. I've been in enough therapy to know that.

    You can question but that doesn't mean you deserve an answer or that anyone asked for your feedback. I just went back and read, and the OP asked no questions nor requested replies.

    Of course. part of the problem here may be that some people just can't help but pee on every tree....

  • biancalovecraftbiancalovecraft

    No doubt you are very charismatic but-
    Have you considered changing your screen name?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @biancalovecraft I was going to say that but I was afraid I would be perceived as being too negative. But yes, I think hitman is an allusion to violence...not a way to make people feel safe.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited September 2019

    @hitmanboss You mention above how age and appearance should not matter and then have a whole post on the physical attraction thread talking about how appearance is important to you. Just curious. Can you clarify?

  • LovelightLovelight

    @2dogmom And what if those are not his "feelings"? Where's the "argument" in my post that you seem to speak of?

    He spoke on a public forum saying things I think of differently. So, I am free to give my input, and support in my own way. Along with ask questions. OP is free to decline to answer. It is that simple.

    I just noticed.

    You: "... I just went back and read, and the OP asked no questions nor requested replies. ..."

    Yet you are doing that very thing you are going on about. I find that hypocritical.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    This not something to get in an argument over. Everyone is entitled to give their opinions and opinions have been given. Destress time.

  • [Deleted User]2dogmom (deleted user)
    edited September 2019

    @funcartel I am not in an argument but some people have to be “right.” I now choose to disengage. I’m feel that will probably not be reciprocated but, you know, youth...

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @biancalovecraft: Well, the name "hitmanboss" may not be great for making people think you're a safe person to cuddle, but it does make me wonder whether I could get a higher paying job than the two I have at the moment.

    I'd make a great hitman. Look how cute I am. No one would ever suspect!

    In response to the poll: I'm here to cuddle for free (Other).

  • KenseKense

    A girlfriend with no sexual contact? How did that work?

  • [Deleted User]DarrenWalker (deleted user)

    @Kense: I'm gonna guess she was a girl... and his friend... and they didn't have sex. An astounding concept, I know. "Romance without sex." It's like chocolate without peanut butter. Whoever heard of such a thing.

  • LovelightLovelight

    @Kense I think not vastly different from how platonic cuddles work. Except with the addition of romance, commitment, etc. Minus sexe.

    There a few people who actually desire those types of relationships.

  • SpartanGuySpartanGuy

    I'm wondering why @hitmanboss abandoned his August 28 post?

    Self pity doesn't make for a good thread.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @SpartanGuy He abandoned it because he is so charismatic.

  • KenseKense

    Those are called friends. You don't call somebody your "girlfriend" if you're not involved romantically. They are just your friend. I realize a lot of you hate sex with a passion which is why you responded so unnecessarily sarcastic.

  • AceCuddlerMikeAceCuddlerMike

    Not true. A girl who is your friend can be a girlfriend if that is what the person wants to refer to them as. Nothing incorrect about it. Ladies do the same thing "i'm meeting my girlfriends for dinner". If you choose to set those definitions for your use, fine.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    I realize a lot of you hate sex with a passion

    Holy jumping to conclusions Batman! This is not true for many of us. I don't even think you can say an asexual person hates sex, they just are more often than not either repulsed or just not interested. That's not equal to 'hate'. One can desire a nonsexual interaction such as cuddling and still be a very sexual individual. There is a time and place for sex, and it's possible for people to realise this.

  • MrFirefighterMrFirefighter

    "Everything else comes across as a dating service"....Yeah, like your entire post for example? geez

  • KenseKense
    edited October 2019

    Nice strawman, a Female calling her female friends "Girlfriend" is not the same thing as a heterosexual man being exclusive with a "Girlfriend".

  • KenseKense

    @ Catloaf the vibe I get here is there is anger towards any sort of sexuality that doesn't match with Asexuality or Homosexuality.

  • CatloafCatloaf

    Nobody said it was, @Kense. Fact of the matter is, even outside the context of dating, I've heard dudes call their female friends "girlfriends", so as to distinguish the gender/sex of the mentioned person. If you choose not to label your friends this way, more power to you. Also, it wasn't a strawman, just that particular statement was what I wanted to touch on since you assumed that everybody disagreeing with you must hate sex (???)

  • CatloafCatloaf
    edited October 2019

    Wait, so, homosexuals "hate sex" too? Wat?

    MOD Edit: Removed personal attack [SoulcuddlerZ]

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