I think they just want you to think that other people are breaking the rules. Kind of a,"See, everyone's doing it."
@macaron I also find it manipulative. Like "I'll tell you about how other did this (whether they actually have or not) so you can fall for the bait too." Sort of like how some people take group photos to make themselves look more attractive/social.
@macaron I don’t know, I have way too many pros I see tell me they face it all the time which makes me think that not all pros are on the up and up, otherwise it would dwindle off after awhile. I think it is a very real thing.
Hard to bust them when there is an agreement of secrecy to keep that business thriving through this site. Any of you guys wanna go undercover and clean it up? That would make a good reality TV show.
@evevanity YOU GET ME! That's exactly what I'm talking about! Ambiguous questions, sudden disappearances and high hopes. I agree that most of them want to try out "fresh meet", hoping they will get some action. I was able to confirm a few stories about which pro cuddlers are violating their contracts. Now the real dilemma is to report them or not. I took down a few of my pics earlier this year. I had one with my tongue sticking out. I had a client once who seemed to be very well mannered and pretended to be the most "zen" guy. After a few months of seeing each other, he finally told me that he can't anymore because he was tired of waiting for a signal from me, initiating sex. And I asked him what gave him the idea that I would ever do anything sexual with him. To that, he responded "You have a picture with your tongue out. It's highly suggestive that you want sex". @eddie2sweaty I am extremely friendly and caring towards clients who genuinely want care and friendship. I'm not sure how other cuddlers are. But a client who is trying to grind on me every chance he gets, is definitely not worthy of my friendship and I will not invest my time in him.
@biancalovecraft OMG I'm so glad I'm not the only one! You have described 100% what I'm going through!
@DonLonG tell me about it. Hahahaha.
Oh no. Didn't see that photo clearly. I'll stop fueling this fiyah now.
I hope the dogs are of age.
@DonLonG LOL LOL LOL
Hmm, I’ve found the opposite. 3 normal cuddlers wanting me to have sex with them. The pros usually don’t even like cuddling let alone push sex. They’re just in it for the quick cash.
To be honest, I think it's a lot worse for pro cuddlers, because they may attract the kinds of guys who are seeing sex workers and are likely to want something sexual. People sometimes act more entitled when they are paying. That's not to say guys who are enthusiasts wouldn't agree to have sex if the woman changed her mind and wanted to - but they are more likely to respect boundaries because it's a lot harder to find someone who will cuddle them for free. While I have had male cuddle buddies catch feelings, they respected my physical/emotional boundaries and didn't harass me when I said no.
That said, any guy (whether a client of a pro or an enthusiast) may sexually harass women as it's incredibly common, so it pays to be extra cautious and screen people carefully. Since there is no monetary incentive for me, I'm less likely to overlook any red flags or move faster than I feel comfortable with.
@Sunflowerfield Especially with the crack down on the usual go to sites for prostitution, like Craigslist, Backpage, etc. Someone going into it seeing that someone is charging a fee for their time and doesn't know any better could think it is a guise for something else.
@Miabear - a couple of things to keep in mind. 1. Yes I do believe finances could be an issue as some or many just don't have the resources to pay for profressional on a regular basis ( or however often you would consider a regular ). 2. And if this sounds harsh or mean it is by no means intended to be so but just because someone used your services once it by no means they are required to do so again. It doesn't mean they didn't enjoy the session they might have thoroughly enjoyed it , It doesn't mean they were upset you didn't offer other services you aren't comfortable with , fact of the matter is you offered a service at a time where they needed it and they haven't needed or wanted said service since then. I enjoy amusement parks but I don't need to go once a month. There's movies I absolutely enjoy but I only need to see them once. My suggestion enjoy the time you get with the clients you enjoy and don't stress over who decides to use you again & who doesn't and remember just because they haven't called you back yet doesn't mean they wont
@hugonehugall I believe @Miabear complaint is re people trying to use her for sexual services and being inappropriate with her, not that they aren't continuing to contact her or not continuing to use her services.
@pmvines Exactly! @hugonehugall You've completely missed my point and what you're saying is completely unrelated to what I'm saying. I I'm not saying that anyone should contact me again after the first session. I'm saying is that they shouldn't expect more than cuddling, and other pros shouldn't offer more than cuddling. At least not through this site.
Right on @Miabear
I wonder if there is a way as a society to curb the desires for pay to play sex. Does anyone think that being in a country where it’s frowned upon cause the desire to be stronger? If sex work was decriminalized do you think people looking for it in places like this would go down?
Maybe because there is no site or market for this it filters in to space it shouldn’t be in. Maybe if men and women didn’t have to sneak around and find ways to scratch there itch the rest of us wouldn’t be bothered with it and that undercurrent wouldn’t always be around.
I don’t like to think people are always trying to sell me sex services, but i often feel it’s happening. That may be my defect but I’m sure in May cases I’m not wrong. Maybe people wouldn’t think that men are looking from sex from every women they come in contact with because if they wanted it they’d buy it.
@BashfulLoner I completely agree! If sex work was legal, people wouldn't be here looking for it. But another problem with a lot of men is that they think they're too good to hire a prostitute. And they disrespect women who do sex work. Yet, they think for some reason, women who aren't prostitutes, like cuddles, should have sex with them in exchange for money.
There is some truth to that, if you go to other country's prostitution is not a big deal at all and legal. Or in other cases not technically legal but law enforcement looks the other way and doesn't care about it. If it were legalized I seriously doubt people would be lurking here trying to figure out who may or may not be a prostitute, they could just go right to the source. I'd be curious to know before the Feds shut down all the prostitution advertising sites was the issue with all the men looking for sex less of a problem?
"If sex work was decriminalized do you think people looking for it in places like this would go down?"
I don't think that at all. There are always going to be those who derive pleasure in breaking the rules. Coming here to solicit sex where it's forbidden -- regardless if it were legal to pay for sex or solicit it legally elsewhere -- would just be another fun game for these types.
....
@Sunflowerfield yoh make a lot of sense to me. I’ve had the same thoughts.
This is why I do not want to pay for cuddles. You’ll go broke and become depressed. What you really want, in addition to touch, is to feel like you have a friend and someone who really does care, and not after your wallet, at the end of the day.
And two more points. What happens when the money is gone? You can’t afford cuddles. The cuddlers you thought cared about you don’t care that you’re now broke. They still want your money.
And what makes them “professional?” Nothing! Because they signed up and they are giving a portion of their profits to Cuddle Comfort? No! Every animal in nature cuddles. It’s instinctual. Do you think animals get training? No! Humans are the only animal that doesn’t give up touch for free. I would like to change that. It’s sad!
What bugs me most is the older men who agree to the rules and then act like they had no idea they were pushing boundaries. I am firm and find that they do not return. If so, then be it, as long as they leave me safe and sound. I do try my best to weed out those trying to finegal more, but there is always going to be that awkwardness after I ask if they understand the rules. Some try asking me to explain the rules, as if they do not understand and want me to clarify whether or not I offer more. I am so offended by the nonsense, but the few who are great and benefit from it, are who I am here for.
PS I am a pro and have been for almost 18 months
MOD Edit: Removed swear word. Suggested edit italicized. [SoulcuddlerZ]
I would like to follow up with an example the @Sunflowerfield said. Guys act more entitled when paying. We ALL do this—male and female and otherwise. I’m going to compare this to buying nachos. A lot of us like nachos. But when we’re paying $20 for nacho we may ask for extra cheese because we’re paying. Then we want extra jalapeños. Ohhhh can I have that salsa too. We hound until we are satisfied with what we paid for. But, if someone said, “Here are some free nachos.” I’m so grateful. I won’t ask for more. And if you keep giving free nachos, I will be on my best behavior because I don’t want to mess up a good thing.
@cuddleguy1977 if you're in the bay area in the next few months, let's make nachos and try out a snuggle.
@littermate sounds nice. I would be totally up for that. Nachos and a cuddle? Awesome. Maybe throw in some good music. Too bad I’m not in the Bay Area. So few cuddlers in my town of Riverside. Never cuddled before. Not by social network platform anyway.
@cuddleguy1977 let me know if you're in the area in next few months.
@notcuddledyet good one!! Poor @QueenHearts7983 is now going to get more visits than she knows what to do with.
@littermate will do. And I’ll bring extra cheese. You won’t need to ask 😉
Hahaha @littermate about the photo. I had to look!