It's also a valid option to seek support and information from your online buddies, free from condescending advice about what you should be doing instead.
@FunCartel It's fun for me, but thanks!
@bigcomfycuddler oh Lord no I am saint of nothing for sure ! I'm not even giving an opinion with this thread . I am however pointing to the OP issue of men trying to get more than cuddling. It is a source of genuine distress that she has voiced. Minimizing that by picking apart her statement and applying your personal context and meaning to bits anf pieces like this only serves to invalidate her experience.
You sure seem to have taken a shining to this particular thread.
@littermate I think its important to say the issues you point out are real and its equally important for everyone to recognize the topic you raised about the physical vulnerability women face when dealing with men in private spaces.
I didn't look at the OP's post as a message about vulnerability. I focused on her saying she was frustrated about a downturn in business and her assumptions its because everyone else is breaking TOS.
I looked at her profile and came to my own conclusion there are probably lots of reasons she doesn't get repeat or high volume of business.
I stand by all my earlier points, I also admit I could have been more sensitive about what her experiences have been leading to her post. I think I might have been callous because she's a professional, and that's not fair of me.
@FunCartel I think you're being every bit as judgemental, hyperpartisan, and narrow minded as you're accusing me and others as being.
Question to everyone though: Why is it wrong to suggest she could increase her bookings by lowering her rate, offering a skilled service, or coming up with a gimmick? Why were the posts from men about not needing the service much or preferring variety ignored ?
I feel like all these things were shoved aside in order to focus on men and their penis problems.
At this point, if OP doesn't want to change anything else, she can either quit, wait for better customers, or find a means to pursue other customers. She shouldn't be shaming her one-off customers for not doing more business with her.
Also OP, this forum can be a bit of an echo chamber because it is a small and active subset of the total membership. I think you should do 2 things: 1.) Contact other profssionals in your area and talk shop. 2.) Talk to some of your customers and ask them what drives both initial bookings and repeat bookings. They know better than anyone.
I'd also recommend you discuss your work and experiences with the women you're close to in your personal life. I get that might not be a good idea because they might only be judgemental, but if you can't discuss it with them, should you be doing it?
Maybe you just need to say "Mom, Dad, my side hustle is making appointments online with men who I don't know so we can later meet at my place, their place, or a hotel in order lay down and spoon together in our underwear. I charge them $100+/hour and $500 for an overnight stay. They sometimes want me to be sexual and I refuse. I fear this is hurting my repeat bookings. Thoughts?"
I think that what might be beneficial to consider - and what I didn't realize before my first comment- is that the OP may have wanted someone to hear and empathize with her and secondarily (if at all) offer a solution. (I didn't quite understand this concept when I heard it from an intimate conversation between two of the principal actors in the movie "White Men Can't Jump". She was thirsty, so he was going to solve her problem by getting some water for her, but really she just wanted that he empathize with with her. So began a never ending argument...)
I heard one relationship coach put it this way: "Don't argue, because even if you win, you lose."
Let's cuddle! 🤗
@FunCartel very funny lol speak for yourself ! oohh and you have no idea of how people perceive your degrading and condescending name calling on people who doesn't agree with your rhetoric ways .they are certainly not of a cosmopolitan , sophisticated ,intellectual or highly educated individual , but the other way around.
What cracks me up is how hypocritically people defend , define and encourage the Platonic part of the cuddling industry and yet they react hysterically to the human's anatomically response, to the natural stimulation of the proximity to the body of a person of the opposite gender.
What ever happens next , it's not my responsibility or guilt , since I'm not the person in question . im responsible for myself and myself only and the cuddlers that i have been with , can confirm my behavior.
Some people doubt karma... usually and typically the same characters who wrongly believe that their validation is needed for what the new and whom they see as ordinary members ( like myself ) want to express in the site's forums . While others believe and rely in it to make a better decision on who they put their trust in . Karma is there for a reason and not just to make a few members happy or unhappy , period !!
Therefore, assuming that we are all the same . boundarie and sex pushers , rule breakers and to top it off , a bunch of jerk offs as suspected directly by the victim . It is in fact very offensive !! Whether some people like it or not , agree or disagree.
Think about this ... i personally joined the site , because it seemed appealing the way most people describe themselves as full of acceptance and understanding in a judgmental free environment , offering me the so much needed affection and human touch I've been starved from for years and years . only to later be degraded and unappreciated by some of the same people who supposedly offered me the opposite, and all I've ever done it's followed the guidelines, while paying for a service!!!
Now ..there's something to be sensitive about as well .
@DrJames Considering that prior to this post I never addressed you in this thread tells me everything I need to know about you in the previous post.
As such, your attack is not worth addressing for all its inaccuracies, but well worth ignoring.
@bigcomfycuddler If I judged you for judging the lady about what she didn’t ask about then I am cool with that.
(MOD) Comment removed - personal attack [SoulcuddlerZ]
@bigcomfycuddler Thank you for this: I also admit I could have been more sensitive about what her experiences have been leading to her post. I think I might have been callous because she's a professional, and that's not fair of me. @calineur Bingo!: I think that what might be beneficial to consider - and what I didn't realize before my first comment- is that the OP may have wanted someone to hear and empathize with her and secondarily (if at all) offer a solution.
Excuse me as I grossly generalize:
She didn't ask for a solution. She said she was wondering at a couple things, no request there, just a factual report about her wonderings. Then she asked for information specifically about other people's experience of pros and sex. Granted, one would have to speak women-speak, but guys if you want to relate well to us, you'll have to learn this - We aren't asking you for anything but your attention and empathy when we're wondering, struggling, feeling helpless, feeling sad, feeling frustrated, feeling stumped, not knowing, not knowing how, not able. When you take over, instead of bowing to our awesome and cool way of connecting via hanging out in the feeling realm together being vulnerable as we figure out stuff, you convey to us, stop that yucky thing (feeling), and here little missy who obviously is unqualified to do her own thinking for herself, let me fix that for you with all my thinking, even though you never asked for my opinion or my fixing, thereby robbing us of our own discovery process. Let me just fix your brokenness. We're not broken. We're able to hang in ambiguity and emotionality and connect with other fallible humans there as we come to our own conclusions. If we ask for something (please give me info), then it's time to give us info. If we don't, it's not. Foisting your opinion in our blooming flower of a vulnerable heart is ever so annoying and the root of much of our frustration with you and our protection from you. That foisting also, by the way, happens in another blooming opening where it's not welcome because guys are trained to fear the gap, stick something in the gap, whatever you do, GET HER DONE.
@DrJames I will personally celebrate the hard-on now and say, hard-ons are welcome in my presence (hard-ons happen) as long as you don't treat them as something I'm supposed to help you with or otherwise try to get them satisfied in my presence when we've arranged a meet-up through a platonic site with rules which I rely on to support me to want to stay here and cuddle with y'all. I can't speak for other women, but I don't blame women for being a bit frustrated with you all for the frequency that male sexuality pushes itself in an entitled manner into our space and onto our bodies without consent or sensitivity about this side of the "fence."
And I'm sorry if you have felt shamed for having male bits. Male bits have given me a child and a whole lot of fun. Woohoo, penises!
Love you all, whatever bits you have.
@bigcomfycuddler there are men who call themselves feminists who hate their manhood and are trying to get good enough through pc behavior, granted. There are also awesome sensitive fellows who get it. We appreciate them and how they speak up for us, because it gives us hope that we can be comprehended in a place where lack of comprehension has resulted in assault. I say we take the war of the ideologies onto another thread and leave @Miabear 's to her own exploration of her original discussion. I've had fun and I think all the players for playing and I hope we can realize that underneath the positionality, we're all just half angel, half beast.
@littermate Yes, I agree with your latest posts.
It happens , people get taken in by the home pages , LOOK !! Be a professional cuddler ! Make money ! Work only when you want ! Charged as much a$ you like !!Etc .. only to find out how it really is , and I think this website does give a little fair warning in fine print somewhere ,clients are not screened by the site . I might point out that the CC pro only is exposed to a portion of the population ..ie there has to be a registration of the client to enter the website . There are a lot of safe clients who don’t want to make a registration , and will go for their Cuddle needs to another website . probably explains why that for some who reluctantly join, a profile is displayed as a faceless peep , with little or no description filled out . Perhaps if the OP were to join up with another site in addition to CC , there would be an exposure to the rest of a particular regions Cuddle seeking population , thus increasing client base . Can’t say if client behaviors are better or worse , probably be the same but wouldn’t there be a combined more to filter through ? Normally, this could be construed as a conflict of interest ...in other professions ... but I don’t think the cuddling websites care, as long as each website gets their commission.
@bigcomfycuddler
@littermate thanks for the attention ! I totally agree with you , and that's exactly what i been trying to explain . It does happen and we (male clients ) should be responsible and being able to know how to deal with the ( hard-on ) in a proper way, i personally feel more uncomfortable than the pros that I've shared time with , thankfully i been very fortunate about crossing paths with some of the best Pros in the site , and they have been very understanding at times when that have happened , speaking for myself only , i do not rub it against them , instead i try to make a space where they don't notice but of course they always do , as you all woman are extremely receptive. Never been shamed by a Pro for it , but also never expected them to help me with it . Respect it's a two way street in my opinion , i understand that I'll be shamed if i try to be a smartass , but i don't consider myself one . sex is not what i signed up in the site for . I completely relate and feel for you all female Pros , I'm aware of the risks that you take by meeting a total stranger, and the reason i previously mentioned that you should immediately report any inappropriate behavior from a male , as a preventative way for the same or worst to happen to the next Pro targeted by the same individual. Your voice will never be ignored if you speak up loud and clear ! Help us to help you all , without shaming, degrading or generalizing , and I'm sure that we will all get along just fine ❤🙂
Nce @DrJames .
I find it difficult to share a thought or offer a thought for discussion in here. So many people have so many strong opinions, and wish to defend themselves because an opinion affects them so much. Many of you offer great thoughts but geesh tiring sometimes.
This has to be the dumbest and funniest thread ever. You are mad they went to other people. Maybe because you’re not my girlfriend, you’re honestly a service . Look in the mirror and say I’m charging someone $100+ an hour , your a service provider and your customers are allowed to cuddle with others. There is no mandatory cuddles for anyone. Lmfao no proof nothing but let’s just assume.
Gee, now I know why it sucks being a man on this platform. I didn't get a choice what genitalia I was born with, so please don't lump all men in together. Yes, some men are absolute skeeves. But so are some women.
And everywhere else I go, I get treated like there's something wrong with me because I just want to be held.
I definitely think it’s a possibility that they thought they could manipulate you to do more than what your comfortable with and when they probably did get upset but I don’t think everyone like this but there’s definitely a few ppl