I got blocked!

[Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)
in General

I had been conversing with an enthusiast ( I think; hard to know these days) with some general chit chat. She had been on the site several times without reply, so I assumed she had gone in a different direction. No worries. I wished her well. She thought I had been hurt or insulted, but I wasn't. She has no obligation to want to cuddle with me. This isn't my first rodeo.

My final reply was, "I meant no offense, nor took any offense. I could just see you had been to the site numerous times and had not replied, so I assumed you had pursued other possibilities. I genuinely hope you find something/someone who satisfies and fulfills your desires. You seem like a good woman. i wish you the best."

After this she blocked me. That is her prerogative. I just want to know ... was I out of line? Was I unkind? I truly attempted to be a gentleman (literally, a gentle man) in all this. No harm, no foul. Input is welcomed. I know we live in hyper-sensitive world, but maybe I'm missing something.

Comments

  • [Deleted User]StarCaptSilas (deleted user)

    Nah, I don't think you were out of line!

    I try not to check the profile of someone I'm messaging to see when they were last online. They can see that on the front page everytime they log in and I don't want to come off as stalkerish.

    My usual rule of thumb is if they don't respond back, I leave it at that. :)

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

    @CuddlyAce a good word. Thank you. I'm a recent transplant to PA from CA. things feel much different on this site. I'm just about ready to call it a day, deactivate, and move along.

  • mb0mb0

    Different people have very different approaches to online communication. Some people block or otherwise cut off contact at the drop of a hat. It can be confusing or even hurtful to those of us who have a different approach, but so it goes. There's really nothing to do but move on.

    "gentleman (literally, a gentle man)"

    FWIW, this isn't really the literal meaning of gentleman. The word gentleman is related to the word gentry, meaning people of high social class. Of course the meaning is a bit changed today, but still "gentleman" does not literally mean "gentle man."

  • AceCuddlerMikeAceCuddlerMike

    Well pass the ball once in a while! ;)

  • griffingirl1991griffingirl1991

    @BigHugsPA I would only assume one of two things...one she could have been offended or thought wrong when you used the words "... something/someone who satisfies and fulfills your desires." She could have taken those words to a whole different level than what you intended them for... especially IF she's had to ban other men because they're showing they aren't here for the right reasons, and doesn't yet know who is true and who isn't and doesn't want to continue and possibly make matters worse in her eyes, or point of view. 😔 Even I probably would have IF some guy said something like that to me (though I wouldn't ban right away... less I knew for sure). Lol! I too have had guys on here who would try and talk and as I got suspicious 🤔...they were soon banned anywhere from minutes, to hours and sometimes days AFTER I replied or didn't. Lol! 😃 OR she could have just NOT wanted to hear from you again for any other personal reasons she must have not wanted to discuss. 🤨🤔😒

    I've had a dude ban me from an old dating site/app we were BOTH on...and then on here...for choice of words I assume. Lol! So...I learn to be careful of what I say and to whom I say it to. Some...just can't even take a joke or know when it is one and won't even ask to clarify. Lol! I would know...been on both ends of that. 😆

    Well...good luck on your cuddling path anyways. Lol!✌️❤️&🤗
    ~JG~

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

    Good insight, all. Sometimes we become myopic and can't see other perspectives.

  • mb0mb0
    edited November 2019

    Here's another way to look at it: If you're like me, you rarely have more than one conversation happening on the site at once. So naturally you feel a little bit of emotional investment in that one conversation. But other people, especially in-demand women, may have many conversations going on at once. There's just not enough emotional energy for such a person to invest in these conversations at this stage. Such a person will likely be looking for reasons to filter out and reject people, and in particular may just block as a convenient way to end a conversation they've decided they don't want to continue.

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

    @mb0 Good perspective. Funny thing is, I told her hen she first joined that she was likely to be overwhelmed by contacts. A simple, "I've got too many messages. Sorry, I can't reply. Best wishes," would have sufficed.

  • Drop_the_MikeDrop_the_Mike

    Honestly I enjoy this site but it can be discouraging at times. Getting blocked for no reason and cuddlers charging when their profile does not state “professional”

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

    @Drop_the_Mike Amen!

  • littermatelittermate
    edited November 2019

    @Drop_the_Mike I hope you report those people who charge who aren't pros so that the rest of the folks don't have to deal with them.

  • BlueIrisBlueIris Mod

    No one gets blocked "for no reason." You just don't know what the reason is.

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)
    edited November 2019

    @BlueIris agreed. I don'it believe I ever said it was "for no reason."

  • desi_babedesi_babe

    @BlueIris Yes, thank you.

  • littermatelittermate

    @BigHugsPA I think it's only natural in relating with other beings to want to understand their behavior, especially as it is in relation to you, and when there's a mystery in that department, to want it solved if at all possible.

  • eddie2sweatyeddie2sweaty
    edited November 2019

    I mean no offense but I think she did the right thing blocking you. She was undoubtedly not wanting to talk with you further. It may have been a bit rude, but if someone is uncomfortable it is their prerogative to block someone.

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    Any "good" comment can be read with a sarcastic tone to be a "bad" comment, and we are perhaps too emotionally sensitised by customer-facing staff doing that.
    Think of 'fine', and 'have a nice life' which almost always mean the opposite.
    Once someone has decided to see bad in you, nothing works.
    Geoff

  • throwayncthrowaync

    @BigHugsPA, switch your search preferences for a moment to look for men who cuddle women and see how many people show up as having logged in over just the past day. It's a very different experience for women seeking men on here - much more cluttered. In that light, blocking someone for no reason other than to streamline the user experience begins to make sense. If you had determined that you weren't a match and wished her well, the block may have been about nothing more than allowing her to focus on the profiles that remain potential cuddle buddies. She could have been using "block" because "hide" isn't an option.

    In any event, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong, out of line, or unkind.

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsPA (deleted user)

    @throwaync that makes a lot of sense. Thanks

  • dharma1257dharma1257

    @BigHugsPA No, you did not do anything wrong, in fact, you sound like a perfect gentleman, a nice guy in my opinion. I am sorry to hear that you were blocked over this. To me, it is unfortunate and unkind. But it is her right to do that, i understand that.

    So you are asking for input and wanting to know if you were out of line or unkind in any way? From my perspective, it is a absolute No, you were not out of line and were not unkind, in fact, you were very kind and wishing her well. That is my input. And i would suggest you do not take it personally, you did nothing wrong, it is all on her end. And we all get blocked on here, for silly reasons, real or imagined. There are threads about this, people being blocked for no reasons at all. So again, please dont take this personally, even though it seems personal, it is not.

  • littermatelittermate
    edited November 2019

    I would second the comment that "satisfies and fulfills desires" is potential red flag language for women, even though you can mean it super platonically.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    "Fulfills your desires" is more FetLife than Cuddle Comfort.

  • cuddlebug6cuddlebug6

    Yeah, the "desires" bit is not optimal wording. If I was realllly reading into it, following that up with "you seem like a good woman" could seem a overly conciliatory.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Yeah, what are you going to do when she comes back with “my desire is a 2020 Porsche Carrera. In addition, I have a honey-do list that I have a desire to see completed. I also have a list of desires that I have saved on my computer to add. So yeah, fulfill my desires.”

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    Indeed @FunCartel, we should be careful what we wish for.
    That's about as dangerous as "I'd do anything to make it up to you".
    Geoff

  • macaronmacaron

    I think it's not a good idea to comment on when they were last online, even if it's something you noticed. Anyone who's ever had a stalker is going to feel weirded out by that, like you're keeping tabs on them.

    That they were online but didn't respond doesn't necessarily mean anything. They could be reading the forum without feeling up to responding to personal messages.

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