How much older of a person will you cuddle with ?

[Deleted User]markcuddles (deleted user)
As most of the ladies here seem to be younger - do you have an age cutoff for people you would be interested in cuddling with ? Or is it that you ladies have such a dearth of cuddlers vying for your attention, that you have plenty of offers nearer your preferred age range ? Thanks - Mark


  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    If you're talking Pros, I'm sure age won't be an issue. If you're trying to cuddle with non pros, age will likely be an issue.
  • [Deleted User]markcuddles (deleted user)
    Thanks Morpheus ... makes sense. 
  • Dear Mark
    It really depends on the person and there attitude to age, I have had cuddlers, non pros one third my age and they stated only in 5 years high and low of there own age, you can play a fine tune on an old fiddle, thoughtfulness , presentation, conversation do play a big part. Hang in there mark it dose happen on here. Friend John.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    I'm 25 and my cuddle buddies are 33 and 37 years old. I am pretty open to cuddling a range of ages but would be more cautious with older men. I guess I'm a little more suspicious when a 50 year old guy just wants to cuddle women in their twenties... Not saying I wouldn't try it with a person I trust, but I would be more wary. I probably wouldn't mind that much with women, though.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    I do think that one thing a lot of older men don't really take into consideration is that younger women may feel more vulnerable and that there is more of a power imbalance. Also it can come across as creepy, especially if the profile gives the vibe they are just looking for a date rather than a purely platonic cuddling relationship.
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    I'm curious, why would you be suspicious of a 50 year old wanting to cuddle you at 25? I'm 45 and the majority of my cuddle buddies have been much younger. The other day, I was cuddling with a girl and when I said I was 45, she giggled and said I was older than her dad but it wasn't an issue.
  • Dear Sunflower, how do you feel about cuddling aged persons in a group situation, where the numbers are balanced men and women and ages run from old to young, you have safety in numbers and protection of common sense in the group.
    again you need to of met and trusted the people involved before the gathering.
    It is funny I often cuddle people who are 30/40 years my senor Ie 90 to 100 years old and I have no problems with it but I take on your point a young woman can feel very vulnerable and there is a clear power inbalance, How do we get over that and make all parties feel safe. Friend John.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    @Morpheus, it's because I've come across a number of men who are much older, who are flirtatious and interested in me romantically/sexually. Also, if men have an aversion to cuddling men or women their own age, it makes me think they want to cuddle me primarily because I am young and attractive - so it's not really platonic. Of course, this may not be true of all men. It's just that I get the wrong vibe from a lot of men's profiles/messages/comments on here and also in my platonic cuddling groups on Facebook. It would be different if it's an online dating site, of course, but since it's not I find it suspicious.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    @funandadventure I would probably feel comfortable cuddling aged people in a group situation like you described. I think that is quite a different context to meeting someone online for a one-to-one cuddling friendship.
  • I have found that cuddlers in their 30's to be more fun to cuddle with than most 25 year olds.....the 25 year olds are a bit too immature for me :)    But once in a while I'll meet one who is fun to talk to and I keep an open mind and don't reject anyone just based on age alone. 

  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    @greenearth I would consider cuddling someone older (e.g. in their fifties) but only if I got a really good vibe from them and their profile. For instance, someone who cuddles both men and women, and someone who is polyamorous would probably be more appealing to me than a 50 year old guy who is single and only wants to cuddle women.
  • [Deleted User]markcuddles (deleted user)
    I can see your point, Sun - thanks. I had gone to a HAI sensuality/ sensitivity workshop; there was a point where I was being touched non sexually by another guy. As someone who loves touch  - the remarkable part was how uncomfortable I was with it. I felt good about pushing my boundaries, but that boundary seemed pretty solid. 
    I also went to a cuddle party in new haven seemed as if age was the determining factor in who was cuddling with who. Myself and the 3 or 4 other guys over say 40 just looked at each other most of the night. No cuddles for me, and while I was there... no cuddles for those folks either. 
    It makes me wonder if some folks who say they are so open ...use it to hide their prejudices. 

  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    I'm sorry but I still don't quite understand. So are you saying that if you cuddle somebody that you're  physically attracted to, it is then no longer platonic?  Does that also mean then that if you find someone attractive, you will not cuddle with them? The definition of the word platonic is intimate and affectionate but not sexual. It is completely possible to cuddle with somebody that you find attractive and for it to remain platonic. I find every girl that I've ever cuddled with platonically, attractive. I find the majority of my platonic female friends attractive for that matter. 

  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    "So are you saying that if you cuddle somebody that you're  physically
    attracted to, it is then no longer platonic?  Does that also mean then
    that if you find someone attractive, you will not cuddle with them?"

    Not necessarily. I have experienced some attraction to one of my cuddle buddies, but we choose not to take it further. However, I did not choose my cuddle buddies BECAUSE I was attracted to them. The attraction only developed after cuddling with them a number of times. I keep my dating and platonic cuddling relationships separate, so if I was extremely attracted to someone I would be more cautious about cuddling with them.

    I guess the thing is, every person has a different comfort zone. Most of the guys who are much older than me (e.g. double my age) who have contacted me on this website and on the Facebook cuddling groups I run give me a strong vibe they were after a dating relationship, and that has made me uncomfortable. Some have even told me explicitly that they want sex. I would also be uncomfortable if a younger man did that, to be honest. Either way, it gives me a bad impression.

    I think most women would find it a bit seedy if an older guy *only* wanted to cuddle younger women, as it seems to indicate to me that they only prefer to cuddle people they are sexually or romantically attracted to. Of course, if they are willing to cuddle everyone (including men) and have already tried to contact people their own age - or can't find any here - that is understandable. But it feels like a lot of men zero in on the youngest and most attractive women, which gives the wrong impression.

  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    I mean, if you ask an average person on the street: "What do you think about a fifty year old guy who prefers cuddling women half his age?" people will probably assume he is doing it because he is sexually/romantically attracted to her.

    As an example, I just recently got these messages from a 44 year old man: "I want the romantic and sexual kind of cuddling with you" and "Why don't we get married cuddle and have children? And cuddle every night and romance and sex?"
  • Yes people assume all sorts of things and make all sorts of judgements about people without actually knowing them.
    Living life just based on what things look like or what the average person thinks limits your life unnecessarily.
    By the way I hope you blocked and reported that guy who messaged you about sex. Those guys ruin it for everyone.
    As for cuddling with other men. No thanks. I don't even have male friends lol. I would cuddle with a female of any age. As long as they aren't too old where they can't physically cuddle lol.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Of course, it's best not to be limited by what the average person thinks. And there might be some situations where I would cuddle a guy who is double my age. But I would be selective and cautious about it. I think a lot of men don't realise that women often feel physically vulnerable and unsafe, and that there is a power imbalance there - because we often get sexually harrassed on the internet by men.

    @greenearth, why don't you have any male friends?
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    I guess I'm trying to be helpful, by offering a female perspective - so hopefully men can understand us better. But it seems like a lot of guys don't want to hear the female perspective or really understand why some things would make us uncomfortable.
  • [Deleted User]markcuddles (deleted user)
    Actually Sunflowerfield - that does help. So it would probably help me to think any woman younger then me thinks I am looking for sex. So it really doesn't matter what my intentions are - I'm a perv :)
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Well, not necessarily @markcuddles. You may just need to be a bit more explicit about the fact that you are looking for something purely platonic, and also explain the reason why you are contacting younger women. For instance, if you explain that there are no women your age in your local area, then it might help. I can't guarantee anything, but there are some ways you could make it seem less suspicious.

    Having said that, unfortunately women will have their guard up on these websites, because of the sexual/romantic messages they often receive. I also receive a lot of messages from guys overseas, which seems to indicate they are looking for a dating relationship. I mean, do they really want to fly across the globe just for a platonic cuddle? Seems a bit odd to me.
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    I can see you not wanting to cuddle someone who actually made sexual statements to you but saying you wouldn't cuddle someone older if they only cuddle younger people and won't cuddle men doesn't make sense to me. I have plenty of male friends but I'm heterosexual and have no desire to cuddle another man. I'm open to cuddling any female but if I'm going to cuddle a pro, I'm not going to pay to cuddle someone I don't find attractive. You can ask any pro that I have cuddled with, regardless of my attraction to them, all sessions have successfully remained platonic.
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Well, it doesn't have to make sense to you @Morpheus - just as your preferences don't have to make sense to me. As long as people are being respectful and ethical, it's not a big deal. I think people seek out cuddles because they have an emotional need, and it's not primarily a logical or rational desire.

    I will say that I am heterosexual and I've had both male and female cuddle buddies, which I enjoy equally. I guess that's why I tend to question when men will only cuddle women, because I am quite happy cuddling with people of the same gender. Also, I feel more relaxed cuddling people I am not sexually attracted to, because it eliminates the problem of sexual frustration and arousal from the equation.

  • Women make themselves vulnerable when they agree to cuddle with a stranger, regardless of age or anything else. So I would say they have the right to be picky. Can't argue with that. I don't see why you need to make a big deal out of it. 
  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)
    Thanks @rollypolly. I appreciate your understanding!!
  • Does any younger males have a hard time getting to cuddle older women? I feel like most of the females on this site are older at least in SD area and I get constantly get told "It would be like cuddling a kid" which makes ME feel like they want someone they're sexually okay with cuddling...
    wondering if maybe a majority of older women possibly have an adjenda like the possibility of a majority of older men? 
  • @Zioncalling.

    I wonder if they could also mean it because they presumme less maturity (not meant derogatory) /feel more protective (motherly) towards a younger man. I know I used to and can still do.

    So they can still feel that way and their "agenda" with an older man would be to feel like the one being "protected". These are some why my preference is for taller and bigger men to someone my size and height.
    Then again, I'm beginning to value hugging women more, which makes me open to different people I wouldn't have initially considered.
  • I'm currently 23 and I'd be open to cuddling women anywhere from 18 to 35ish, though being realistic I set my limit to 30 when I browse as I get the impression that those in their mid-30s will probably look for people at least a little closer to their age than's understandable considering that I'm still quite young and they would be like 1 1/2 times my age, I guess.

    To be honest, the idea of age being a thing when the goal is to find a purely platonic cuddle buddy is kind of weird when you think about it but at the same time understandable, I mean if someone my age was all intimate with someone old enough to be their mother then that would be a little awkward but at the same time you could also say, they're 2 adults and they know both what they're doing and how things stand and all that shiz. I feel with whatever age of the cuddle buddy you meet there's always going to be the two sides of the coin, best thing to do on that basis is go with whatever makes you the most comfortable and relaxed.
  • Interesting point. But I've talked to two cuddlers (late 30s/early 40s), and cuddled with one of them, who claimed that being a mother has made them understand the concept of platonic cuddling better. The one that I had a session with was excellent.

    @Zionscalling Mate, I understand your frustration, but don't just go around making assumptions. Maybe they are new and just feel weird. I had a chat with a woman in her mid-40s who was looking to become a pro, and when I knocked her days after she failed to respond to a message, she admitted that she was "new at this and it feels really weird". Bottom line: don't take it personally.
  • [Deleted User]Unknown (deleted user)
    edited March 2017
    @Sunflowerfield so if I was in your area and contacted you and said I would love to have a cuddle session with you, would you deny me based solely on my age which is 45 and the fact that I won't cuddle men? 
  • [Deleted User]markcuddles (deleted user)
    Some interesting thoughts so far... thanks everyone.
    So here's what I have learned - 
    Open doesn't necessarily mean open.
    Having a penis , for better or worse, insinuates there is a reasonable probability you will try to mount the other cuddler. 
    Rollypolly makes a good point about vulnerability.
    In no way am I promoting unwanted sexual activity.
    How are any straight men on here having cuddle dates without paying ?
    How do the women determine what men are "safe" from being sexually engaged during a cuddle session, and which aren't ?
    Or, is it that there is attraction felt by the female cuddlers towards the potential cuddle partners they do have dates with, that they are to some degree open to somewhat sexual activity based on who they are choosing there cuddle dates with and obviously, attracted to?
Sign In or Register to comment.