How often would be a good amount to see a pro/ how often would you be Comfortable seeing a client?

March 2017

I'm just about done seeing everyone there is to see and will decide on a regular. However what would be a good frequency of seeing pros? Once a week? Once every two weeks? Once a month? Etc

Also pros, money aside how often do you think a client should see and what borders unhealthy booking?

March 2017

I see a pro once a month. Money is one reason, I'm not rich. The other reason is mental and emotional health. Developing an attachment with a pro can be a very bad thing so I limit my interactions with them. Ultimately it's a business transaction but the lines can start to appear to blur when interacting with a pro too often.

March 2017

Yeah im leaning towards once a month as well. The frequency I currently have isn't healthy to maintain. I hope more clients and pros share the frequency they have sessions with regulars too.

March 2017

One of the most popular pro cuddlers in Los Angeles deleted her profile today. I also had her on instagram and Facebook and those pages have also been deleted. She had a website and that's gone as well. I saw her once and had a great session but never saw her again mainly because she was so far away from me. I don't know why she's gone. I text her and she replied and said she's gone indefinitely for personal reasons. That's all fine, I wish her well but here's my question, what happens to all those guys out there that thought of her as a friend that are no longer going to be able to see her and possibly not even be able to talk to her anymore? This is part of what I call the dark side of professional cuddling. It's easy to get attached and that's why I continually preach that clients need to be mindful of their feelings and regardless of how real this feels, understand that it's a business transaction and it only temporary. My best advice to clients is to enjoy the moment, walk away and let it all go.

March 2017

Maybe having a regular is not a good idea. :O

March 2017

@alternis I think it is could be a double edged sword. They get to know you and that could be good. And if one saw a different pro every time then it would always be learning about a new person.

March 2017

I have one client that would book me every Friday. One client that booked me every other week, and another once a month. I suppose it would depend on the client's need for physical contact.

March 2017

@Floweroflife do you think there's a point where booking that often is counterproductive and actually unhealthy for the client?

SnuggleWyrm · March 2017

I have a client who books about once a month. That seems to be a pretty healthy amount to me as it allows for closeness without to much attachment. I find it also gives us plenty to talk about as well. I could see more often being beneficial for others so like everything I think it depends on the person and their needs

March 2017

I'd definitely say no more than once a month for the reasons @morpheus stated. Anymore than that and you run the risk of getting really attached and it would be a huge let down if the pro stops cuddling.

docgatorb · March 2017

I think that the best clients have chipped in at about once per month. Now a professional can set a goal of how big a client base that is needed for a steady livable income. It comes out to a lot of clients, and it's probably a slow business to build. Nothing wrong with it, but patience should be one of your strong points. That's why you don't find a lot of rich massage therapists walking around even if they do really good work. It's also why you don't find many professionals supplying a place to do in calls unless they can do it out of their home.

Brandi · March 2017

I think flower hit in right on the head. Some clients feel they need more than once a month.
At one point had a client that wanted to come back almost every other day sometimes even messaging me a few days in a row. It got to be a little much for myself because i felt i couldnt take time for any other clients or myself and felt he was getting attatched. I think only you know what is right for you. Dont over think the attatchment or anything else just go in with the right mindset that you are happy in the moment all monry and emotions aside.. If you feel you you are over doing it, slow down a bit.

psilocuddle · March 2017

I started off in December cuddling once a week, then every other week through February, now I'm trying to do once a month. Too often and I get the feeling that the only reason anyone would want to be around me is if I pay them.

greenearth2 · March 2017

I know the feeling psilo.

March 2017

@psilocuddle I'm glad you were able to settle on something that's good and healthy for you. A pro can't truly understand how it feels to be in a clients shoes that feels the way that you do. They may feel like they are doing amazing things for the client when the reality is that they are contributing to unhealthy habits that are bad for someone's emotional well being. It bothers me when I hear pros speak on this topic with a light hearted attitude because to many, it's a serious thing. I think most pros intentions are good but as I said, they can't truly understand how the dark side of cuddling can negatively affect a client.

greenearth2 · March 2017

What sucks is when a pro says they won't quit abruptly and will give some time to say goodbye etc. But then they quit abruptly anyway and you never hear from them again.

MsClickers · March 2017

This was a very helpful discussion. Thank you everyone!

4cuddles · March 2017

Wow agree. Ive found it be really helpful!

I must say that I'm still trying to imagine the attachments some people seem to develop with their pros.

Makes me wonder if I've actually underestimated the power of cuddles.
Or & I say this tentatively if there are other areas that need attending to as well as feeding the need for affection.

Your comment for example psilocuddle.. I really empthatise with the loneliness that belief would cause. I hope you new experiences helps to replace it.

March 2017

It's interesting, I am married and have family and friends so I'm not lonely. When I see a Pro once a month, I feel fine and it's healthy and helpful for me and my mental and emotional health. I recently went on a little cuddle spree because I got a nice bonus at work and saw 5 pros in the course of two weeks and noticed that my emotional health seemed to start to go in the opposite direction which indicated to me that too much at least for me personally is not healthy. I am lucky however because I am in tune with my emotions and can stop bad emotions before they become an issue whereas sadly there are many men out there who are not and cuddling has actually become unhealthy for them. I'm sure it's easy for a pro to shrug it all off and say things like, let it go etc and I'm sure pros have the best intentions but there is a dark side to all of this that not everyone considers. When it comes to negativity, people generally think of abusive clients etc but not much thought is given to clients well being.

4cuddles · March 2017

Hmm I've noticed that phrase a few times.. can you eleborate on it "dark side to cuddling".

Perhaps pros will never get to understand wat it truly feels like a client unless they become one (even then) but it maybe be helpful to elaborate on it and help their services.

Btw to clarify I'm not saying everyone who uses pro frequently is lonely.

Loneliness is also a state of mind even surrounded with significant others. (Not directed at u but to clarify wat I was getting at) that sense of disconnection etc.

greenearth2 · March 2017

So Annie keep in mind that pros have all the power. In any situation where one party has all the power there is the potential risk for abuse. By abuse I mean that some clients may be so lonely and so in need of cuddling that they go broke booking more sessions than they can afford. Some pros wouldn't care about this. Some pros even guilt clients if they don't see them often enough. Like I've had a pro tell me that she was so glad I saw her regularly or she would have to do things she didn't want to for money to pay rent that month. So I would feel really guilty if I didn't see her every week. That's on me though because I tend to care about the pros I cuddle with. I have found that in most cases this isn't true of the pros. It can't be. Cause they disappear and never speak to you again without notice. Can't do that if you actually care.
Obviously pros are just saying nice things as part of the illusion. But new clients or naive ones can start believing in it.

quietman775 · March 2017

I like to have a session every two or three weeks. But I have two local pros I do rotating sessions with, so I'm seeing either one of them just once every 4-6 weeks. it helps keep the conversation fresh --- always something new to talk about with someone you haven't seen for a month or so. I generally don't call, email, or text them for any purpose other than booking or confirming a session. While we have warm, comfortable conversations and know about the "stuff" of each other's life, I have no illusions of real-world friendship with them --- I am paying for every minute of their time and attention. As someone who has been seeing pros for years, I would give this advice: 1) Annualize your cuddle expenses and make sure the projected annual outlay is not going to fill you with regret. 2) Enjoy the sessions for what they are, but know that your "relationship" with the pro is no different than your relationship with your physical therapist or your accountant. It's business, and could end at any time for any reason. If that's distressing, you're too attached IMO. The good news is that pros are plentiful. I just ran a search on here within 200 miles of my location. Three of the first four results; six of the first eight, eight of the first twelve, and 14 of the first 20 results were pros. So instead of picking just one to be regular with, pick two. Or three. :-)

March 2017

quietman 775 good advice, however remember all areas do not have as many choices especially of pro's with more mature life experiences.

March 2017

Or pros that do not respond. I was iffy of even going the pro route but the lack of replies from a 200 mile radius made the choice for me.

April 2017

@quietman775 that was an excellent response.

It's not only just about the money for professionals, in my opinion, at least not the good ones. That can be said for pretty much any profession. I see this " pros are only in it for the money, they don't care" popping up over and over again as a theme in posts and I wonder why there so much dissatisfaction in paying for this service, yet the same people keep going back and paying for the service. It is never good when there is an imbalance no matter what the relationship is. Yes, a professional is being paid for their service and time, but they absolutely should respect the client and their needs and time as well. As for disappearing without notice, I guess that would depend on how deep the connection was and how regular of a client. I know there are plenty of things that would cause a person to disappear, it might have been for deeply personal and private reasons if they didn't choose to share?

I recently had a situation where I met someone for free cuddling through this site. He was literally texting me morning noon and night, sometimes at unreasonably early and late hours of the day, and I felt like there was this instant *lets be best friends* vibe going on. He even joked about getting ring pops and getting fake married. Although at first it was cute, it then turned a little bit scary. I am a busy single mom and there is a lot going on in my life. I wouldn't give that kind of time and attention even to my most regular client, hell even my two closest best girlfriends don't get that kind of time and energy from me on a daily basis! People have lives outside of their work, even if the work is deeply personal work and strong connections are made.

Of course, when I set a boundary with the cuddle friend it was all *my fault* LOL and he accused me of only being out for the money... which is really weird because no money ever exchanged hands and he was never a "client". Clearly there was something going on ther clearly there was something going or he needs more real life relationships outside of people he meets on the website. I don't think some people realize how needy they are.

It's really important to understand as humans if we are putting our needs for something on someone else. Unless we are still children, it's nobody else's responsibility to fulfill our needs. Especially emotional ones. Self-awareness is a beautiful thing.

April 2017

I've seen 7 pros and only got the vibe that two of them actually cared. They were the most recent two though so I guess things are looking up and I found my regulars lol. Sadly one of them is not a local

May 2017

@greenearth I'm sorry you've had experiences that lead you to believe all pro cuddlers don't care, that as you said it is all an illusion. I personally do care, and if it didn't violate confidentiality, I'd call out my clients on whom I've spent hours of time without having seen them yet....and they'd back me up.

In fact I care so much I won't just take on any client. This speaks a bit to your comment, @navyvet76, that sometimes pros don't respond to messages. I have learned that if someone messages me with an immediate "when can we book a session" without anything personal attached (like they read my profile, think we'd be compatible based on such-and-such, etc.) then I wouldn't choose them, anyway. Better for them to be chosen by someone else.

It's really up to client and pro alike to determine their groove as far as how frequent contact, how much they share with each other, etc. But great point, @FireAndBlue! There should be boundaries so we pros can "do life," too.

greenearth2 · May 2017

I would like to change my stance on this and say that I'm not thinking that every pro is like that. At the time I had recently had someone disappear without notice and was feeling hurt because she said she wouldn't do that.
But I realize not every pro is going to do that.
I have never expected pros to stay in touch forever. But if someone says they will at least say goodbye when quitting I hope they mean it. That is all.
For some reason when I say that people think I want forever. I just wanted a proper goodbye.

May 2017

@Starlight: I agree, It's really up to client and pro alike to determine their comfort as to how frequent whether frequency of sessions or contact, and how much is shared with each other... I feel it as a mutual responsibility through I recognize it tends to fall more on the pro. Recently due to having spent extra time both on and off the clock with the same pro, I ask if I was getting both to comfortable and whether she felt taken for granted.... and to let me know. Fortunately I was told I was fine... I did not view her response as permission to try and test boundaries...

Morpheus · May 2017

I had a pro early on that really tugged at my heart strings. I was too attached and have adjusted my behavior and thought process after her and not just with pro cuddlers but with anyone and everyone. I have no expectations of people anymore and I just enjoy myself and the time I have with people. The last two weekends, I have hung out with pros off the clock and had a great time with each of them. Today, a pro asked me to take her to breakfast. If either girl the last two weeks didn't care, why did they spend time with me off the clock. The key however is to take it for what it was. Just be happy and don't have expectation.

greenearth2 · May 2017

maybe they just want a free breakfast.

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How often would be a good amount to see a pro/ how often would you be Comfortable seeing a client?

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