Blocked for no reason

PolarMtnHuman95PolarMtnHuman95
in General

Has anyone here sent a simple greeting message to a user & then get blocked, or sent a simple greeting message to a user & that user gives a normal reply but then turns out the user blocked you? Do you guys think it could be due to racism or anything of that nature, or what else could it possibly be, given that you & that user don't already know each other & are of similar age.

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Comments

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I know a multitude of reasons why people block.

    • location
    • age
    •race
    •sex
    • pro
    • how long since last logged on
    • smoker
    • pets(allergies)
    • pushed boundaries

    It could honestly be anything, but some people don’t care to take time to get to know someone or explain why they aren’t interested. It could be so easy to say “hey, I see you’re outside my age preference so I’m not interested in a cuddle. “
    Maybe even just enjoy having a conversation. Heaven forbid.

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @fface95
    Please don't let your first guess be "racism". Some people find that accusation, as offensive as racist insults.

    Blocking prevents any off-forum messaging ; but I've had a few messages from people thanking me for supporting their stance on an issue, even though the Atlantic Ocean would make cuddling with them almost impossible, so I would have "blocked" them if I used that criterion.

    I'd say that blocking someone should be considered equivalent to refusing to acknowledge someone you meet in the street. It should only be done, if they have been actively unpleasant ; not simply because you wouldn't want to cuddle them.

    Maybe we need a "personal" tag we could put on people, so they don't appear in our searches ; but even that has problems, because people can move home or travel.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited June 2020

    With all the problems in the world today let's start a rant about being blocked by strangers on the interwebs shall we .. .it happens . You are an adult . Move forward and best of luck in life to you

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    As a good example @pmvines and I are very mismatched as cuddlers, owing to gender preference and distance ; but I wouldn't block him just for that.

    The great advantage of the Internet, is that if only 1 in a billion people want to communicate with you, that's still a few choices. Getting upset about people who don't like you, is a waste of effort ; and trying to understand why, is a fool's errand.

    Blocking is at least passive. My two "favourite" rejections are :
    "I could learn to love someone like you, as long as they weren't too much like you"
    "I've fallen in love, with anybody else"

  • PolarMtnHuman95PolarMtnHuman95

    Now I don't care about people not liking me, but one thing for sure is that it's kind of weird to just block someone who wasn't being bad or unpleasant, especially just because of a greeting, even if they don't live too far apart from each other or are within each other's preference boundaries like age, gender they prefer cuddling with, etc. I mean, I wonder how long would be their list of blocked people in that regard.

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @frace95
    Some people just block loads of other people, for 101 different reasons. I haven't blocked anyone, so I can't explain my reasons in each case.

    Some people on here might be happy to review your messages, to see what they think.

    If you suspect it's racism, try messaging people of the same ethnic group, and see how you get on. Either they also won't reply, so it isn't racism ; or they will, so you have been successful. Win either way.

    I won't cuddle men, which some people might say is sexist ; but as women around the world have been saying for ages, "My body, my choice".

  • alexb2alexb2

    Another reason for blocking not mentioned. It is the "path of least resistance". It is awkward for a woman to tell you she is not that in to you. Many women on here report that if they politely decline, some men make awkward further enquiries, or get angry. Hence, it is easier to go straight for the block.

    Being blocked, ignored or ghosted on line is a common occurrence for most people. Do not treat it as anything special.

  • BiblioromanticBiblioromantic
    edited June 2020

    I have blocked people for several reasons. One person was incredibly rude about something in my profile. Some were blocked after setting up appointments to meet in public and not showing. Some couldn't even seem to understand the word "no" in message format, so I saved myself the hassle of wading through more useless messages. Some I heard about from common friends offline to have questionable motivations on the site. Some don't even read my profile at all, just try to rush me into meeting up immediately, which is specifically stated in my profile that I don't tolerate.

    As a non-pro woman on this site, the number of thirsty messages gets daunting sometimes. Like, because there's not a set fee for cuddling with me, I must be looking for a sugar daddy or a f**k buddy. Blocking at least clears out my message inbox of people I know are not good matches to leave me the mental and emotional space to consider real possibilities.

    I guess what I'm saying is that it's unlikely you were "blocked for no reason." It's more likely the person had a reason, but they're under zero obligation to explain that reasoning to you. So it didn't work out... and that's okay. It frees you up for the next possibility. There are worse things in life.

  • VinDinVinDin
    edited June 2020

    @frace95 someone else blocking you is largely, if not completely, outside of your control.

    Why worry, then? You say you don’t care if they like you or not but you clearly care about something enough to create a post and to question why someone would block you.

    This is more about you than it is about them.

  • [Deleted User]SanFranResident (deleted user)

    @Biblioromantic ' I guess what I'm saying is that it's unlikely you were "blocked for no reason." '

    FWIW, I don't agree. Some people practice blocking the way you describe - if the subject has done something offensive or rude and there's a specific reason to block them. Others block very liberally, blocking anyone who messages them or even visits their profile who they don't want to meet. If you're a person in the first category and you get blocked by a person in the second category, it can be very jarring at first. It feels like you said "Hi" to a person you just met and they responded by calling the police. But, eventually you get over it and you realize some people just treat online interactions differently.

  • eddie2sweatyeddie2sweaty

    Sounds like whoever blocked you dodged a bullet if your response is to create a thread about it and blaming racism.
    This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry’s mother couldn’t accept that some people don’t like him.

  • [Deleted User]LucidDreams84 (deleted user)

    When in doubt, just blame racism. That’s what you are programmed to do. Move on. She’s just not into you.

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    When I step off the "sidewalk" to socially distance, some people say thanks, some wave, some smile ; and some do all 3. Others just ignore me completely. There's no pattern.

  • [Deleted User]darrz (deleted user)

    You say you don’t care about people not liking you, yet you’ve been blocked by someone and you’ve lost your mind.
    Just relax.. I’m sure there will be other people out there you can talk to, geez!

  • [Deleted User]SanFranResident (deleted user)
    edited June 2020

    Did @frace95 lose his mind? He encountered a social situation that was new to him, and he asked for opinions on what might be going on. That seems pretty reasonable to me.

    If
    1. I didn't have a lot of experience with this kind of site and didn't realize that some people just block all the time;
    2. I was a minority race;
    3. I sent an innocuous message to a white woman and was blocked without comment;
    I might also wonder if it was due to racism. Doesn't seem like a crazy thought to me...

  • [Deleted User]Bles (deleted user)

    You are also blocked when you express an uncomfortable truth that someone is either unprepared for or completely disgusted by.

    And your expression of that uncomfortable truth makes them unable to see you as the human being that you really are. One that's just not acceptable to nor digestible to them. That's one of the many uncomfortable realities of living and existing in a digital space. You come to embrace it and laugh at it over time.

    Never silenced nor aphysyxiated by it. Haha!

  • eddie2sweatyeddie2sweaty

    SanFranResident,
    by that logic you stated a white woman must respond to a message online from a stranger or be thought a racist. That is a really awful standard you believe in. Shame on you

  • [Deleted User]SanFranResident (deleted user)

    @eddie2sweaty That's a bizarre leap of logic. @frace95 didn't accuse anyone of being a racist.

    Anyway, I find this forum too depressing, idiotic, and absurd to participate in now, so I think this is my last post...

  • parkwayvisualparkwayvisual
    edited June 2020

    @SanFranResident Wiser words have never been spoken here before. Mad respect, son!

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @SanFranResident ; @frace95 asked if it "could be due to racism", which is a passively-worded accusation.

    I think we should draw a distinction between what people choose to do in their personal and intimate life, and what they do in their professional and public lives ; and be more sparing with those critical adjectives. If a lesbian waitress won't have sex with me because I am a man, some might regard that as "hetrophobic" ; but I think the word should only be used if she won't serve me in her café.

    If I get onto a near-empty bus, and there is a young woman sitting on her own, my emotional instinct might be to sit next to her in the hope of a conversation ; but my intellectual instinct, is to sit further away, so they don't feel "pressured". Either choice risks criticism.

    Even before social-distancing rules ; if I were walking late at night, I felt obliged to keep my distance from lone females, in case I were thought to be following them. If they were a "person of colour", they might perceive my action a different way. Unfair.

  • [Deleted User]Floridacuddler (deleted user)

    Simple. You don't owe the other party a reason for the block

  • parkwayvisualparkwayvisual

    @Floridacuddler True dat! With everything going on in the world today, seems kind of petty some of the things people complain about almost daily on this board.

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute

    I agree with Spuds. Even if everything was fine and there were big social and medical problems the attitude that a stranger owes you anything is wrong.

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    The suggestion that it could be racism, might be based on the OP being disproportionaely blocked by people of a different ethnic group to his own.

    I'd like to know if the OP is reaching out to people of the same ethnic group as his own ; and if so, how that is going. If all ethnic groups are blocking him equally, then it isn't racism ; but if the OP isn't reaching out to his own ethnic group, then the racism is on the other foot.

    A person might cry ageism, if they are blocked by younger people ;but that's only valid, if they would cuddle older people. A person might cry sexism, if they are rejected by one gender ; but only if they would cuddle the other.

    As the saying goes, "When you point a finger at someone, you are pointing three fingers back at yourself".

  • CuddleDvaCuddleDva

    There is always a reason for a block - much like there are reasons why people don't respond to messages. There's a bazillion reasons and it's not really fair to make assumptions.

  • Grayson90Grayson90

    How about it’s their right to block you and can do so for any reason. I see a lot of post from guys on here complaining of woman not responding and asking “why?” and getting mad. Here’s why. The ladies are not owned by the website, they do not have to meet someone just because you send a request. Get over it.

  • [Deleted User]chameleeon (deleted user)

    I’m sure we have all been blocked for random reasons. I’ve been blocked after I mentioned I don’t drink alcohol. Not everyone is going to like you, that’s just life! Move on.

  • parkwayvisualparkwayvisual
    edited June 2020

    I blocked most of the people that posted in this thread for no good reason. Discuss.

  • geoff1000geoff1000
    edited June 2020

    @chameleeon
    Interesting point about not drinking alcohol. Smoking is a standard tick box, but that isn't.

    I think that in one of the Batman films, someone talks about "the good people of Gotham City" and The Joker ( Jack Nicholson, if I remember ) says, "The good people should move out, they'd be much happier somewhere else".

    My guess is that people sometimes block others, to save both parties the effort of wasted further dialogue.

  • comforcuddlercomforcuddler

    Some people block because they don't want to waste time with people who are slow to schedule .they consider messages a waste of time .

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