Regulars becoming too comfortable

Brandi · March 2017

I have been chatting with a few pros recently and noticed this is a common occurance;
Clients become regulars and they start to touch a little more and feel out the situation and add a few booty grabs or pushing the boundries a bit. Please please please dont put us in that situation. We don't want to make you feel uncomfortable by calling you out on it. its very unfair to do that to us. The rules are simple and clear. Just as the first few sessions. Even if you feel we have a stronger connection , just respect us and we will continue to show you love. But just because you come back a few times doesnt mean we are going to allow you to push it further. I just wanted to toss that out there:)

Also had a few first timers do this as well. Dont go for a booty grab or a low low low waist grab. Im not one to say "dont so this and dont do that" and Being sensual and sweet is one thing, but know when you should call it quits. Your gut feeling will trigger a " hmm is this inappropriate?" If you feel that, you know its probably too far. And I know all pros are different but if thats the case.. ASK dont assume. And if theat pro lets you do that thats on her but ive noticed a lot of pros dont like it, myself included.

Thanks a bunch in advance from pros all over who dont want any uncomfortable situations!!
Big hugs, joyful smiles and happy vibes your way!
Xoxo
Brandi

greenearth2 · March 2017

Just make sure up front you don't want any of that and unless they're a moron they won't do it. If they do it anyway then they shouldn't be a client ever again.

March 2017

Pros are always trying to grab my ass :-p

March 2017

I'm an ass, that probably explains why most pros don't touch me.

March 2017

I was thinking about this today after I originally read this thread. The rules say you can't touch anyone in areas normally covered by undergarments. I thought to myself, why are butts off limits? Only females have vaginas and only men have penises, only women have boobs, well I suppose some men do as well but everyone has an ass...... so why are butts off limits?

I asked a professional cuddler about this and she said that butts are an erogenous zone. I then said there are several other areas of the body that are erogenous zones such as the back of the neck that are acceptable places to touch while cuddling so that kind of ends the erogenous zone argument. The pro I was talking to then said that if it's an area that turns you on, then you shouldn't touch it. I came back and said that I find beautiful hair to be a huge turn on and pros seem to enjoy having their hair stroked and played with. So the question remains..... why are butts off limits?

I'm not saying that I think we should be able to touch pros butts, I'm just curious as to why butts are off limits. I have an ass, I know what it feels like and can touch it all day if I want lol

March 2017

In all seriousness, a female should never be touched in an area she doesn't want to be touched. I have female friends and family members that I can touch in ways that I can't touch people that I'm not close to. The rules on here are the rules and should be followed. I've cuddled with 19 pros now and luckily have never had one tell me to stop or not touch them in a certain way. Ive also had pros outright tell me I could touch them wherever I wanted to. If a client has sessions with pros like that, they may feel they can do that with everyone else. I've also accidentally touch pros boobs and or butts but I always say that women are intuitive and can tell if something is accidental or on purpose.

Anyway, ultimately what I'm saying is, respect your pro, respect women, respect people in general. It's pretty simple.

March 2017

Also on this topic and I've talked to several clients about this, pros, how about taking care of your returning clients that treat you respectfully and offer them a discount? We will return more often if you dropped your price slightly. If your rate is $80 an hour, drop it to $60 an hour for your good clients. This is a two way street right? We show you respect and kindness, so help us out. The girl I now see the most often charges me $80 an hour plus $20 for travel. I pay her for an hour but she always stays at least one extra hour at no extra cost and last time she came over, stayed two extra hours and asked me to take her to lunch after the session. We had an amazing time together. I'm not saying that all of you should go to that extent but as I said, drop your rate a little for your regulars and spread the love :-)

March 2017

Funny how there are women who want to free the tatas and want society to stop sexualizing breast. They only want to free the nipple when it's convenient for them.

March 2017

@cuddlebandit so are you saying that if pros let clients touch their butts, it would de-sexualize it and it wouldn't be a big deal?

March 2017

Well for starters there are so many popular culture references to that part of the body. Music lyrics, movies, gym exercises, etc. This makes everyone want a piece of ass. Then yoga pants are very popular these days as well. If it wasn't for all this then the butt wouldn't be so sexualized.

April 2017

Normally , I would include ass in the area that is inside the dotted lines , the restricted area , the no no zone , what ever you want to call it .also had pros specify that ( let's call it rear end) rear end is ok provided that the touchy is outside of the clothing.
i would like to introduce a standard of no touchy in the areas normally covered by the " fig leaf".
Now we can debate that Adam and Eve wore fig leaves covering their rear end , or let's just turn them around and see.

April 2017

I definitely think it is up to the individuals who are doing the cuddling. Just like with any relationship, or any individual person, people should be able to openly discuss what their own boundaries are and have those boundaries be respected. Sometimes those will change day by day depending on a person's moods or emotions. I personally don't like the front of my throat being touched because I have been violently strangled before, but I don't mind someone nuzzling me in the back of my neck. Sometimes the side of my neck under my ear is a very tickly place and I either like it or don't… it really just depends.

I think a big part of all of this is mutual consent. For some people breasts or bottoms are sexual and for some people they aren't. If it is uncomfortable for some but not for others, it should be a case-by-case discussion each time Cuddlers meet.

Sometimes I think cupping a breast or having your hand across someone's chest is a natural place to put your hand because of the position, but that is very different than tweaking someone's nipple while your hand is there.

April 2017

Here's a thought, I love giving pros head rubs and playing with their hair. Since I'm in that general area, I almost always touch their face. I've never had a pro say, don't touch my face. Isn't that however much more personal than touching someone ass?

Mark · April 2017

Kissing on the cheek is a common greeting among friends and acquaintances so it's easy to see why that is less personal than touching someone's bum.

April 2017

Honestly I think it depends on where this ass feeling is going on. If it is higher up near the waist or hip that is less sexual than near the butt crack or close to down between the thigh and top of the legs. I also think intent has a lot to do with it. If someone were to rest their hand on my bum cheek and leave it there that would be a lot different than someone rubbing and squeezing my butt. We are all adults here, we know what is foreplay and someone trying to push the limits or if their hand it just happens to comfortably resting a certain position.

I'm definitely not comfortable with a stranger trying to grope me if there is a feeling of friskiness about it. There is cuddling and closeness, and then there is a feeling of being molested.

April 2017

I've been in sessions with pros where I'm settled into a cuddle and I'll realize that my hand is holding a soft mound of flesh and then I'm like oh crap, I'm grabbing her boob. Then Iet go and apologize and most of the time, the girl is like oh I didn't even notice. That's where intent comes into play. Most girls will feel your vibes from a mile away.

April 2017

@FireAndBlue
Even though I have been respectful with all of the pros I've seen, I'd be lying if I wasn't fighting the urge to cup a boob during spoon. It just feels like a natural place to rest my hand. Of course theres a difference between just resting my hand there and going into grope mode but I dont push boundaries and prefer to play it safe just so that everyone is comfortable.

MsClickers · April 2017

Undergarments is pretty vague. I mean, a thong is an undergarmet or bikkini. So that tells me it up to each person when it comes to butt touches.

April 2017

I think it is smart to have a discussion about boundaries each time people meet up to cuddle, even if it is multiple times with the same person. There is a great little video about consent using tea as an example. Clearly we are not talking about sex, but touching involves mutual consent so I think it's safe to say the general concept applies I will look it up and attach the link below

April 2017

So again, this video is about consent and sex, which is off-topic. But consent is very important with any kind of touch. This spells out pretty much almost any scenario

https://youtu.be/oQbei5JGiT8

greenearth2 · April 2017

Consent is everything.

snuggle554321 · April 2017

@fireandblue ROTFLMAO!!!!!! That was priceless! It also makes it very clear! Loved it!!! Thank you so much for sharing! HUGE HUG!!!!

April 2017

Huge hugs!! @Snuggle554321

pmvines · April 2017

When meeting someone the first time for a cuddle you should discuss boundaries. Its usually less awkward to clear all that up prior to meeting them otherwise discussing rules and what not during a cuddle can be a bit of a buzzkill. And always make sure to respect it. It can be easy to get caught in the moment and even though its not like a date or anything romantic (if that is the context), it can still give you the same feeling you would if you were cuddling romantically. Be a gentleman at all times and think with the big head not the little, even if you feel like you may be getting vibes from the person that seem she is wanting or willing to let you do more than agreed upon. And if there is any confusion, ask! I would much rather ask then do something to offend or upset. This goes for pros and non pros. And if the person you are cuddling is a pro, still remember just because they are providing you a service doesn't mean its ok to treat them as a commodity. It might be your money and time, but its still their body, their rules!

pmvines · April 2017

And to piggy back on my above statement, unless otherwise stated by cuddle partner, always assume the boundaries and rules have not changed from the first session, no matter whether you have seen then two times or twenty times.

greenearth2 · April 2017

I think this post shows a lack of knowledge.....I imagine I've seen way more pros on multiple sites than the poster knows or has seen herself. and I can tell you without doubt, that the first session and the 10th session are NOT the same at all. People saying that obviously haven't had many sessions with the same cuddler.
Its quite natural to become more and more comfortable....boundaries are there to keep the pro safe and only do what she wants to do. As for the cuddling "rules". give me a break! Are you serious!? Again shows you haven't seen many pros and are living in fantasy land. yes follow the rules...but several months later and you're way closer than you've been with most relationships....
I think you guys need to just start seeing more pros and stop posting your opinions based on fantasy.

pmvines · April 2017

Alright Mr Earth, well that is my thought for this thread. No agenda. I actually have no interest in seeing a bunch of pros, not why I'm on this website. Perhaps that's why my opinion differs from yours. Each to their own. Nothing to really tiff over.....

pmvines · April 2017

And Mr Earth I don't do too well with peer pressure. My thoughts or experiences may not be the same as the next person, but I am allowed to have them on a public forum such as this. No need to be defensive about it, I mean you no harm....

greenearth2 · April 2017

So @pmvines, this whole thread is inside the professional forum section, which is all about pros and clients....
if you have no interest in seeing pros then why are you posting so much in this section!??
Do you see? your opinion is not helpful if you're not even a part of the pro/client community. You're just spouting opinions on pros and you have no experience or real life data behind those opinions. That's not very useful when your opinion is based on random fantasies and not actually knowing what you're going on about....just think about it for a sec...
its like some random person off the street who has never cuddled giving opinions on what cuddling is like.

snuggle554321 · April 2017

@pmvines THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! I wish more clients thought this way! This is the way it's supposed to be whether you're a pro or not! If more clients did then there wouldn't even be a need for this thread! Instead of putting someone in an awkward position of telling you no, why not just talk to them and ask? I really appreciate your comments! Thank you!

@greenearth WOW!!! REALLY?! I've noticed a few different people making comments on threads that had absolutely nothing to do with them and yet nobody tried to shred them and shut them down. Take it easy. What he's saying is how it's supposed to be! It also doesn't seem unreasonable! If a client or any cuddler wants something to change then why not just ask?! That's respectful! When someone just starts making moves and testing boundaries without talking about it first, that is forcing a situation on someone and makes things very uncomfortable. That is not respectful. Why is what he says a fantasy? That's the way it supposed to be!

pmvines · April 2017

@greenearth, The topic is of interest to me because it is about respecting the boundaries of your partner whether they be a pro or non pro. I have seen a pro a few times in my area, not from this site, and I will likely see her again. Just because I have no interest in seeing multiple pros as frequently as possible does not mean I have no interest nor opinion about the topic. I have no agenda, but I do have an opinion. If you disagree that is fine, you are definitely allowed, however my time on here is not meant to cater to you. You do not own this site nor do you get to decide what others post, or what forum they post in. If there is an issue with what I post I am sure the administrator will inform me. I have not heard from admin so I assume there is no issue. However if you feel there is, by all means, please report me.

I have stated my thoughts in a very general fashion about respecting boundaries. You have used it as an opportunity to insult me and attempt to try to bully me into not posting something that does not benefit you. I am not sure why you feel it is necessary to create contention where was none to begin with. You seem to be a fairly sane and intelligent person. It doesn't have to be this way.

I really just want to be civil and friendly with you, I don't know you from a bar of soap and I did not come on here to do this. I have said nothing at all about any of your posts nor about you as a person. Please return the same respect I give you. It really does not have to be like this.

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Regulars becoming too comfortable

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