@SweetCamiXO - Agreed. Losing $80-100 sucks, but it isn't life changing compared to being sexually assaulted. Keep doing what you're doing. Don't let anybody tell you different.
I have only had a few cuddle sessions on here so I don't have a lot of experience. they were before the Covid crisis. we met and I paid them. no issues. I was trying to book with a local cuddler a handful of times. she cancelled a few times . I had to move a few times as well due to serious family issues. to show her I wasn't a time waster I pre paid for our session even tho we didn't have an exact date booked. then Covid hit. She said she wasnt going to be doing any in person sessions for the foreseeable future. So I asked for my money back. She said she would not give me my full payment back. which I thought was a less than honorable move as I only pre paid as a show of good faith and we had a good banter . Needless to say I will never see a penny of that money because I was blocked. you live and learn and move on from the speed bumps.
@Mike403
That's the key. 👍
A client who pays up front is actually saying "losing $80-100 sucks, but it isn't life changing compared to being sexually assaulted". A client who won't pay up front, is saying they believe that the money is similarly or more important.
I'm sure there are men for whom the price of a pro cuddle is their life savings, so might have a point ; but they probably can't afford the technology to use the CC site.
@geoff1000 - If somebody is that poor, then maybe they should think twice before paying for cuddles. Rent and food is more important.
If you explore any type of online video chat service - it doesn't matter if it's virtual cuddling here, getting rated by someone on OnlyFans, or watching a "Camgirl", you'll find that payment is always required up front for the block of time or service you want. It's not unusual or exclusive to this site.
@Frz2020 . . . or watching a movie, either in a theatre or on download. Almost any business that doesn't actually take payment up front, has a means to physically or legally obtain it afterwards.
Id like to be friendly to the pro cuddler in the way that if she takes a deposit four or five days ahead of the date , the session time comes round and if she ( “yawn .. I’m too tired today oh shit I’ve got to cuddle this dude tonite and I took his deposit , dammit... I guess I’ll get ready “)
I think the pro cuddler a should consider , the possibility of themselves wanting to cancel a session , or having to , then being faced with the awkward task of returning the deposit .
I would rather book w/o deposits then if she wants to cancel no problems
Right @geoff1000 even rent and Netflix are paid ahead for the following month.
If we’re talking strictly virtual .... yeah I can definitely see why someone would be hesitant about forking over a large chunk of money before they’ve gotten some sort of confirmation the cuddler is real or not going to ghost them once they receive their money or what not what. I’ve seen cuddlers charging $60-$80 for virtual sessions there’s no way I’m forking that over as pre- payment for a virtual session in good faith. The times I have done it the amount has been a reasonable amount that if whatever reason I was scammed it was a dollar amount I could part with if for some reason I wasn’t able to recoup it. But don’t get me wrong it still suck and I would still raise hell no matter how much money it was I lost. That’s why I would only deal with pros I have at least 99% confidence that wouldn’t happen
@SweetCamiXO Thanks for the insight.
Unfortunately I've only seen the scammy and shady side of pre-pay, and have not had good experiences with it. I'm glad it works for you and your clients. Because of my bad experiences I haven't been aware of good cuddlers expecting pre-pay, so it's good to see your side of it.
I'm used to sites not banning for bad behavior, so maybe this site is safer than normal. I'll take you seriously that scammer pros can't come back here. I'm guessing that's because they have to add a payment method that identifies them uniquely, which is not required for clients that gave you bad experiences. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with that and are in the position you're in.
Anyway, you're right my original post comes off as negative. I've edited it for clarity. Even if your response feels harsh to me, you're not attacking me and have good points that I'm taking seriously. Responses like that are constructive, unlike some others here. I take a pro's thoughts here to be far more important than even a popular non-pro dude's here.
PS: I haven't read the 8 other new replies since this exploded last night, and I may or may not. I just went through notifications. It's good to hear real-life experiences and opinions on the topic over character judgements on people. I very much appreciate and will fight for people's expression of opinion and experience on topics, the rest is subjective and can be abused to stifle disagreement and prevent growth. Your words do have an impact on me.
@geoff10006
It's a real stretch to say that a client who won't pay up front is saying that they believe the money is as important or moreso than sexual assault... That's ridiculous. For one, you don't know what people believe until they tell you, and for another, they might be lying to you anyway.
I decided on my rule because I was scammed, not because I think being scammed is worse than sexual assault. I already knew sexual assault is worse than getting scammed, so your assertion is not true. What also undercuts it is that pre-payment allows any facilitation of sexual assault, not prevents it. So literally using your own logic stretch you could be saying that pre-payment is worse than sexual assault because it enables it to happen... but I also don't believe that stretch.
Anyway, logical stretches for negative assertions aside, I don't care to go back and forth in a thread. I'll try to reply to the comments I missed because in the past I didn't check replies often and I think more deserve them.
I absolutely will not dignify personal attacks and assaults with anything more than a dismissive response.
@kindnessfirst
I really wish there was some escrow-ish way to make a deposit here, with some way to verify a real-time interaction happened, but I think the site owners know that handling payments and disputes is a whole new ball of worms (yes I'm intentionally mixing metaphors).
I understand the need for some to require pre-payment in partial or full. My situations involved getting blocked after pre-payment (without verification) or after just stating that I wanted real-time talk or video connection verification before pre-pay of a virtual session... which appears to be uncommon or non-existent with the pros that have posted to this thread. Maybe that's normal, I don't know, but some who've asked me for pre-pay didn't block me after I stated my rule, so I don't think they're scammers, and our conversations ended cordially without anyone being upset. I considered what the other ones did to be a problem, which is why I raised the red flag to admin and here. Maybe if someone reading this has done this, you could explain why you've blocked someone just for declining pre-pay without audio/visual verification... but I consider it rude at the least, maybe that's not a legit feeling to have about it, maybe just not for a guy~
I understand that pros have lost time sometimes, and that's why they ask for pre-pay. I understand that some have been assaulted, and that pre-pay filters out some of those people. The reality is that pre-pay also allows some of those people through once paid and the meetup happens... but that's a different debate. The thing pre-pay does best is allow a pro to keep the money if the guy turns out to be a flake or creep or danger and the pro avoids the meetup in some way, so the guy is ultimately paying to be a douchebag.
Sorry for all the words. The different things are all very nuanced and meaningful (to me at least), so I hope the differences are understood and negative conclusions are not rushed from judgement. Thanks for participating. All is considered.
@davebutton If I arrange to meet a cuddler, and it doesn't happen, that's a severe let-down ; it not happening having paid a pro upfront, is only slightly worse.
I would rather meet with a pro who feels morally obliged to see me, because I have paid ; than one who feels financially obliged to see me, in order to be paid.
Paying up front therefore is no guarantee that the pro will turn up, but it does help to identify the ones that I probably wouldn't want to spend time with anyway.
I haven’t had any issues prepaying anyone through this site 🤷🏻♂️
This always happens in person, sometimes with cash.
Of course it’s in any reputable professional’s interest to be honest with how they interact with clients so there’s some built in check and balance.