Requirements for cuddle pros

[Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)
edited September 2020 in Professional Cuddling

I am a professional in my field. I work among other professionals. We have taken classes, studied, apprenticed, been licensed or certified by governing organizations and done other things to earn the title of Professional.

There are lots and lots of professionals on this site. My question is simple. What training, certification, classes, practicum, licensing, etc. do they have to have to claim and maintain the title "professional"? I'd like to hear from the mods, the pros, and enthusiasts on this. What have they/you done to earn this right and privilege?

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Comments

  • pmvinespmvines

    As a male I think all that would be rewired is a willingness to pay the monthly fee

  • Mike403Mike403

    In my opinion, males shouldn't bother unless they're a licensed massage therapist and have something to offer people they can't get for free.

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    That's sad. There has to be more to more to it than that.

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    I agree @Mike403. There should be something to prove one is a pro. And let's face it, a make pro will not survive 95% of the time. I guess I'm more asking about this for the sake of knowing where all these females are getting their cuddle certifications, classes, and licensing, from. The moderators here have proven their fairness and judgement. Surely they have vetted out people who just want money for cuddles or to exploit the many lonely males vs. those who have actually warmed the right to be considered a professional?

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    @Mark @SoulcuddlerZ @reurbo your thoughts?

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @creedhands
    There are no necessary qualifications or training, it just means they get paid for what they do. That's one definition of professional. If I sit on a street corner begging for money, that would be my profession ; the word only implies right and privilege to the title.

    I'm sure there are some qualifications and training which might help pro cuddlers, but most people don't insist on it.

    I'd think of them alongside :
    Artist / photographer models
    Film extras
    Medicine test subjects
    ( In the USA ) Blood donors
    What they supply, is the ability to endure a situation that many people wouldn't ; and the free market means people are free to choose them, or not.

    Some actors, singers, comediens, sports people, and other "performers" can have, but don't need, any qualifications.

    Some professions always come with legal requirements, such as pilots or lawyers. If we want to argue that pro cuddlers aren't professionals unless they have passed legal hurdles, that's an argument we can have ; but the industry is fairly new, and seems to be managing well enough without that. The site moderators make it awkward for those who don't give good customer outcomes.

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    Perhaps someone can define what constitutes a cuddle, then we can decide what qualifications people need. When a parent or grandparent cuddles a child, or a child is cuddled by their parent or grandparent ; what qualifications do they have ?

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    Even the ones you have mentioned have done some studying or research in order to land where they are.

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @creedhands
    All of them ?

    If I want a massage, or psychotherapy, I'll hire a qualified professional. I just want someone to hold while we have a conversation, and if we don't "match" I'll find a different one ; I can't think of any training which would make that go better. If we have different views on too many issues, or I just don't like their voice, it wouldn't work.

    Most jobs that are done by what we normally think of as "professionals", aren't allowed to be done by amateurs ; in other words, the legal requirements exist, whether they are paid or not. If we want cuddling to be regulated, then we'd have to regulate the amateurs too. I'm sure a lot of the female non-pros on here would like the male non-pros to have some kind of vetting.

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @creedhands
    Can you elaborate on your phrase, "just want money for cuddles or to exploit the many lonely males".

    I don't know how qualifications would stop someone just doing the act for money ( and they'd have to charge even more, to pay for the training ). "Exploit" and "lonely" are very exocative words.

    Do you think that if those females weren't allowed to charge for cuddling, they'd just do it for free ? Do you think that if those "lonely" men couldn't pay for cuddling ; they would go without, or ask the wrong people inappropriately ?

    I'm sensing a hidden agenda here.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    There are classes and training you can take if you choose to but considering it’s not a requirement, I’m fine with saying “I have over a years experience cuddling and I’m amazing with people”. If someone would prefer a pro cuddler with actual certification from cuddlist classes, by all means, head there. The only reason why I don’t care to take these classes is because I find that it teaches one specific way to deal with a whole array of people. To me, this is a “feel your way around” kind of job. Every person is different so I’d rather not take classes and be conditioned to learn the one true way to serve a client. This job requires trust so if someone doesn’t feel like I should hold them and be there to talk with them about what’s happening in their life just because I don’t have specific training, I fully understand if they want to move on to the next.
    I have CPR training and first aid training but beyond that, I’m just really really good at cuddling lol take that at face value. ☺️

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @creedhands
    I'm trying to work out if you seek :
    1. An alternative to the adjective "professional"
    2. Mandatory training and regulation to earn the adjective
    3. A ban on accepting money for cuddling

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    @creedhands "We have taken classes, studied, apprenticed, been licensed or certified by governing organizations and done other things to earn the title of Professional."

    No you didn't. You earned the title "professional" when you turned your first dollar. It's possible to go pro with no training. Just do it and get paid. That's all that's required. Dictionary.com goes one step further and adds to this definition "... for gain." That doesn't even require money really. If someone does something at a professional level and doesn't charge, that's pro too.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @PeopleLikeUs - Some people are professional slackers.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @creedhands - For females, men would pay to cuddle with them if if they have absolutely no experience. Because for many guys, it's either pay a pro or not cuddle at all.

  • geoff1000geoff1000

    @Mike403
    I enrolled on a training course with an expert, to learn how to be a professional slacker ; but the instructor didn't turn up.

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    I'm not here to argue semantics. I have no "hidden agenda". Heck, I'm not even here to piss people off (which apparently I did). I'm asking us as a community to hold pro cuddlers to a higher standard. Professional used to mean something. But as had been pointed out, we live in a different world where everyone gets a participation award, thus cheapening the winners circle. Asian massage parlors (aka sex workers) get lumped in with AMTA certified therapists

    Yes it's a relatively new career path. So let's help form it's direction. The good pro cuddlers are given a bad rap from those who have the pro tag but act shamefully.

    Examples (from my own experiences):
    Talk with a pro for two weeks, set up an appointment, arrive and get ghosted. Found out later she has done this to at least 3 others
    Met with a pro who said we could cuddle on her king size bed. What she didn't mention was that we would have to share the bed with her sister and her boyfriend while they smoked pot.
    Met with a pro who within 10 minutes was grabbing for my genitals
    Met with a pro whose I showered body was so offensive I had to leave before even starting

    BUT -
    Met with a pro who had different scented candles, had taken a basic massage class, and walked me thru positions I had never considered.
    Met with a pro who had a room just for cuddling, with cool colors, easy access to a/c and heat, and a joining bathroom with fresh linens just in case I needed to shower before or after

    Why should the same "professional" tag be given to these 6 people? Why not have pros get standardized? Take courses in relaxation mindset, basic massage, color psychology, aromatherapy and cuddle positions (and maybe self defense)

    Call them professional, journeyman, amateurs, or whatever. Keep your wordsmith semantics. Just make it standard. It shouldn't be "I get a dollar, therefore I'm a 'professional'" (This site's word, not mine)

    If I have any agenda, I don't think I could state it more clear.

  • TouchSanctuaryTouchSanctuary

    I actually think if this website could put together a basic free course for new professional cuddlers that could be really helpful - it could potentially improve the quality of the services. I know Cuddle Sanctuary offers a free course on safety for pro cuddlers which I have done and found highly beneficial. If people want to do more in-depth training, there are avenues like Cuddle Sanctuary and Cuddlist, though they are more costly.

    My experience with health professionals in general (both mainstream and holistic) is that being well qualified often doesn't mean much. I've still dealt with a lot of flaky, rude and low quality massage therapists, psychologists, naturopaths and energy medicine practitioners. Requiring training might filter out some people but it seems like a lot of poor quality (and sometimes even corrupt and abusive) professionals still slip through the cracks. I've come across my fair share of terrible doctors in my time as well.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    @creedhands

    It is possible to use the term “professional” to separate oneself from others in the same way that someone would use race. “Asian massage parlors (aka sex workers)”

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    Once again, @PeopleLikeUs , you have not addressed the question at hand.

    Thank you @TouchSanctuary and @Sheena123 for your input.

    I do find it interesting that the moderators found it necessary to move this thread to the Professional Cuddling page instead of on the main page where more people would interact with the thread. Even more interesting is the silence of the moderators on this thread.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs
    edited September 2020

    @creedhands - I've addressed it quite clearly as have others.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    @Mike403 - "Some people are professional slackers"

    I agree. Some of the greatest rock bands out there are shoe-gazing slackers, and they make damn good money at it with no training what so ever.

  • [Deleted User]Zundar (deleted user)

    @PeopleLikeUs words are polymorphic, they generally have multiple meanings dependant on context and usage.

    The dictionary definition of a word is not the be all end all of what the word means. Meanings are primarily based on usage, as that usage changes the meaning does too. They're generally descriptive, rather than prescriptive.

    When people say "professional" it's going to be common for others to assume that means they're making money from whatever they're a professional in. It's also going to be common for people to assume that they mean they have qualifications regarding their profession though. The same applies for usage.

    Also, while I did just argue against relying on dictionary definitions of words when talking about their meaning, here are a few for professional as I believe listing them will be more effective at convincing you your point is maybe less valid than you believe:

    "relating to work that needs special training or education" - cambridge dictionary

    "Professional people have jobs that require advanced education or training" - collins dictionary

    That being said, there were also a lot of definitions listed that stated a professional is someone to gets paid for their work, it's completely fine to use professional to mean someone who gets paid for their work - but the same applies for people who have qualifications for the work they do.

    As for the main question @creedhands it's a bit of a tricky one. While I think it's definitely be preferable for professional cuddlers to have some kind of relevant qualification - on the flip side of the above it should be completely fine for you to mean "someone getting paid for their work" when talking about professionals as that's a commonly understood meaning of the word.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs
    edited September 2020

    @Zundar I know. I chose this particular line of rhetoric because I think it applies here. I could have just as easily argued it the other way.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @creedhands There is actually a whole community of professionals working on putting together industry standards for this work, it's just not on cuddle comfort. 😊 Unlike @Sheena123 (who I fully respect and we agree with a lot, but disagree on some things as well, ha), I have participated in LOTS of education related to this work and actually found that to be a great indicator of the great fit of this work for me. I'm just VERY excited to learn about as much and everything I can related to it. Unfortunately, a lot of what I'm interested in learning isn't available yet, because it's still so new. 😞 I've done cuddlist and cuddle sanctuary training, went to cuddlexpo, took mental health first aid and ASIST training, I think that's it.

    In addition to training, I've learned a ton just doing the work of course, but I believe part of being a good professional in any industry is being humble in knowing there's always more to learn, and keeping yourself updated and exposed to many things available for learning.

    Some people don't like seeing "trained" professionals. They can be more formulaic. I think it's just as important to find a good fit whether trained or not. There are good and bad pros in both categories. But for me, I'm all about learning everything I can so I can combine all of that together to be the best of exactly the kind of professional I want to be. I don't think I'm much like other trained or untrained professional. I'm my own unique self, ha. Not what some are looking for, but exactly what others are. I look forward to the day when everyone has multiple options, no matter where they are, so they can find the right fit and not just go with who they've got as the only option.

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    Very forward thinking, @ubergigglefritz . I think you and I are on the same wavelength. I have lots of customers who have hired so-called professionals, and then hired me to fix their mess. I believe in bettering and educating myself as much as possible in whatever way I can in order to offer the best services I can.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    @creedhands exactly. Cuddling utilizes a lot of natural skills, but to supplement with learned skills never hurts and can only help. 🤷‍♀️ I have learned some awesome things at the different education opportunities I have participated in, many are not just great for my work, but great life skills in general. Love it. 😊

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited October 2020

    On the topic of requirements for pro cuddlers, I see an upsurge in male pro cuddler accounts. I believe that, though you are obviously granted discretion based on safety, screening , etc., isn't one of the things about being pro a need to be willing to cuddle all genders ? I dont see this with most of the male pro accounts I have seen. Do you not screen the male accounts who want to be pro cuddlers the same way you do for the women accounts who apply ? Surely the requirements are not different.

    I also notice a lot more pro accounts of all genders with blank profiles. Is this not required and If so are they not being reviewed prior to being approved for pro status?

    @mark @SoulcuddlerZ @reurbo

  • [Deleted User]Zundar (deleted user)

    Also noticed the trend of male pros who only list/mention cuddling women and who explicitly advertise mentioning women @pmvines

    Most (new pros in general, rather than male pros) don't seem to read much of the extended FAQ either as they often post in the wrong section from the get-go.

  • MarkMark
    edited October 2020

    Yes, it's different for male pros. It's not a good use of resources to manage the quality and approvals for them. There's so little demand and many of them are just trying it out for 1-2 months and leaving. So we give them a pathway to do that, add a payment barrier which helps filter out some of the frivolous registrations and then leave them to it.

    In regards to cuddling all genders, that is more about putting forward our expectations at the application stage rather than being an actual rule. Overall it's considered a negative but we typically do not take punitive action based on that alone.

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