@TouchSanctuary We may be onto something here.
If a woman wants cuddling to feel physically safe, she has to feel a lot of trust to know they are not jumping from the frying pan into the fire ; like the horror movies where someone locks all the doors of the house, but the monster is inside. By contrast ; if a man is looking for emotional safety, and doesn't think they have found it, they just don't open up emotionally, and hence have a neutral experience, without risk.
In a cuddling experience, the physically-weaker partner is taking one step further along the "trust" route than the other.
Think of a bunch of novice skydivers going up in an aircraft. If the men know they can choose whether to jump or not, but the women know they will have to jump ; men will casually get on board knowing they will probably get to enjoy the view for a while, but the women will need a lot more certainty, before they get on the aircraft.
@sillysassy you go!!
Yeah, I think you're on point about that issue @geoff1000 - it's good that you're able to empathise with the female perspective!
@TouchSanctuary Thanks 👍😊
The plots of many books and movies, involve a wise old man going back to meet his younger self, and giving them the benefit of decades of experience, accumulated over a lifetime of making mistakes.
If I ever get my time machine sorted, I've already got a long list of DOs and DON'Ts for myself. It will certainly include, "Keep searching the Internet, and when a web-site called Cuddle Comfort appears, get on it".
Life is like making a jigsaw puzzle. It mostly involves putting one piece at a time in place, to grow a "patch" ; but every so often, you realise that by rotating and moving a patch, it joins up with another. The doing or not doing of specific things is useful, but it really helps to understand the fundamental principles.